R.I.P. George Jones, age 81.
A little while ago, I said that the Klassic Kwotes well had run dry; I was starting a new feature. This is that feature — let me know if you find it entertaining.
WTF SEARCH TERMS Part I: “Exersises for the Plumber Butt”
Crack = Bad
As a WordPress site, I have access to certain statistics. I can see how many hits I’m getting per day, for example, and how many are unique visitors. Some of my visitors are very, very unique.
Some of the more interesting particulars that I’m able to see are search terms. Search terms that people typed into Google (or Yahoo, or whatever) that led them to me. Search terms that boggle the mind as to a) what they were looking for, b) how it led them to me, or c) both. Here’s a selection of some of the most entertaining. This is just the tip of the iceberg. If feedback is positive I’ll post more in the future.
Keep in mind two things!
1. Each of these are real search terms, typed in by real people on a search engine like Google.
2. Somehow, each of these search terms led them to ME!
Without further delay…enjoy.
exercises for the plumber butt
big breasted lebrains
my lebrian secret
domestic dog shit
shiting discas video
double penetrator
mikeladano.com 
Some comedy gold, in that list. Big breasted lebrains terrifies me, though.
My vote? If you’ve got more, post ’em!
LikeLike
That’s what I was hoping you’d say! Lots more keep pouring in, almost daily. I am sure that will only increase with this post.
LikeLike
This is funny…and a little bit frightening. It makes me wonder what kinds of tags you’re using for your posts. I don’t look that deeply at my stats that often, but I checked them out after reading your post and they’re mostly predictable: artist, album & song names in various combinations. The only one I couldn’t figure out was “original falcon voodoo table.” I’d love to know what they were looking for, and how they felt when they stumbled on my blog.
Love the concept of this post. I look forward to more.
LikeLike
Well Rich I’ll confess that lately I’ve been throwing humorous tags on posts, but only recently…I try to throw surprise easter egg tags on there for people to find.
But these ones are just plain WTF…I think some people think “lesbian” is spelled “lebrain”. Some of these things make more sense if you assume that.
LikeLike
I guess it comes down to doing whatever you can to bring traffic to your site, right? I’m still amazed at the success rate of properly tagging each post. If you Google “David Bowie Berlin Trilogy” my post on that topic is usually in the top 2 or 3 items, right below Wikipedia. It’s good to know we’re reaching people, even if they’re looking for lesbians named LeBrain. Haha.
LikeLike
Sometimes I’ll notice among the search terms a niche that I can exploit. Somebody will google a song or an album and I will realize, “There’s nothing or very little out there about it — I’ll write it.” The band Slash Puppet for example is a good one. I’d mentioned them and I started getting hits, so I reviewed both their discs.
Your Alice Cooper series should garner a few hits for sure!
LikeLike
Or perhaps some people just think ‘lebrain’ is
french for The Brain
& figure that any inquiry
can be anwered by
some All Knowing Entity.
That picture is a timely
warning.’Be careful
where you show your
Crack.Someone may have a camera.’
LikeLike
I always try to remind people this: everyone has a camera today. If you look or act like a jackass in public, it’s probably end up on youtube later that day.
LikeLike
mklndo,
Or if you
are a mayor,
displaying your
Crack could
make you
a media
sensation.
LikeLike
For what it’s worth I discovered this site by searching “Best of the Beast 2CD review”. Thankfully it’s not very WTF is it
LikeLiked by 1 person
HAHAH. Well that’s good. No plumber butts.
LikeLike