REVIEW: Bum Bar Bastards – Tube Bar

Part 2 of a 3 part series on prank call CDs.  Dedicated to my best bud Peter.

Part 1: The Jerky Boys – The Jerky Boys

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BUM BAR BASTARDS – Tube Bar (1993 Detonator)

Once again, my friend buddy Peter is to blame. He somehow got a hold of some of these prank calls on cassette back in the 90’s. One afternoon, I was hanging out at his place.  We were listening to comedy tapes, as we often did.  He hit play, and we spent the next half hour or so listening to two guys calling up the “Tube Bar” in New Jersey purely to antagonize the owner, Red Deutsch. A former heavyweight boxer, Red was a foul fountain of obscenity simply unheard of before on this Earth. He strung together swear words in ways novel and horrific, in that gravelly voice that sounded like he spent his mornings gargling glass.

The prank calls were all real. The tape became legendary, and somehow found its way into the hands of Simpsons creator Matt Groening. You know when Bart phones up Moe with those hilarious crank calls? And then Moe loses it and threatens to do nasty things to Bart? That’s all based on Red and the Bum Bar Bastards.

For example, the perpetrators call the Tube Bar looking for people such as Stu. Stu Pitt. Red calls out the name, not realizing what it sounds like, until it is too late. Upon realizing he’s been pranked again, he launches into a tirade that would strip paint.  Threatening life and limb, Red knows no limits.  I don’t know how they found this guy, but you can’t imagine a better victim. As Red begins to catch on to the prank callers (over what I assume is several weeks to months of harassment) the threats become more elaborate. To some, this is a cult classic.   I wouldn’t say that myself, but Red does make me laugh.  There’s not much difference between this and some of the crazy stuff you see on Youtube these days.

The CD consists of 6 tracks. Tracks 1 and 6 are all Red, the rest of the CD is padded out with bizarre toilet flushing sounds, songs, and prank calls to other people. This is all just filler. The CD is worth listening to only for Red; the rest is mostly unfunny. Choose your pricing accordingly.

2.5/5 stars

8 comments

  1. I never got this CD but a few of these recordings were included on that bootleg tape of The Jerky Boys my friends & I were obsessed with a few years prior to the JB’s being official. We had no idea about the source of these recordings but they were all hilarious. I was in my mid-20s then and I don’t think this kind of thing would resonate with me now…but at the time it was as funny as hell. This CD might be a decent purchase, if I found it at a tag sale for $1.

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    1. I knew that you’d know of this one Rich!

      Yeah I would say $2 might be a good value. Unfortunately I paid too much for it from an Amazon vendor who sent it late. I believe this one the purchase where I sent email after email to the vendor and kept getting one of two different form letters back.

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  2. This reminds we of Porkys. When the guys called the bar looking for Mike Hunt. It reminds me of when my brother and I were in a beach volleyball tournament in Ottawa years ago. I was Mike Hawk and he was Craven Morehead. It was awesome when they paged us over and over through the loudspeaker to show up for our turn to play. Ah memories.

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    1. Yeah, only really essential to those who haven’t matured past the age of 10 (like me) or people who are massive Simpsons fans to the point that they want to explore all of Matt Groenig’s influences.

      Incidentally I do believe Frank Zappa and Captain Beefheart were influences on him.

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