#323: Hatorade (RSTs Mk II: Getting More Tale)

RECORD STORE TALES Mk II:  Getting More Tale

#323: Hatorade

Do you have any artists or songs that just drive you insane upon mere mention of their names? Sure you do. Don’t lie to me. You can’t hide that Hatorade deep inside! Like my buddy Aaron I thought I’d create a list of five.

1. “Fancy” – Iggy Azalea. I don’t hear much in the way of music, or songcraft on this repetitive juvenile rap. I hear people calling Iggy Azalea “talented”. What exactly is her talent? Hiding her Australian accent?

2. “Hello Kitty” – Avril Lavigne. So terrible, on so many levels. This has nothing to do with rock and roll, a genre that Avril claims to be a part of. No, this is unabashed brass-ring grabbing novelty crapola.

3. “Porn Star Dancing” – My Darkest Days. Somehow, this Canadian post-grunge bunch of posers got Zakk Wylde to play on this track. I don’t know how they did that, except perhaps promising him a lifetime supply of Jack? This awful, stinky excuse for a rock song also features Chad Kroeger on vocals. Giddy up, horse-face.

4. “Painkiller” – Three Days Grace. There are two soundalike Canadian bands with the word “Days” in their names. And now, both of them even have the same singer. Double the pain!

5. “Michael” – Franz Ferdinand. I absolutely despise this song. They listened to it in the Record Store during my miserable final days there. “Indi rock” was popular with certain groups of individuals and of all the songs I endured, this one I hated most. Sitting at work, listening to the dude from Franz Ferdinand singing “So come and dance with me Michael, so sexy, I’m sexy,” was not my cup of tea at all.

HELLO

36 comments

  2. The whole Y&T album Down For The Count from 1985. TBone wants me to do a writeup on why I despise this album so much and In time I will. I just gotta listen to it again which may be a issue!
    Ha

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        1. Ha,well today I had to take a day off from work to zip around with my daughter to,her doc appointments so since I was home by noon. I got into this Y&T thingy and it will be dropping shortly!
          My typing is brutal sober couldn’t imagine it sauced!

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  3. I’m with Sarca, I haven’t heard any of these.

    Wait… I think I heard about 30 seconds of that Avril track on time (was it folowing a conversation we had?). It was quickly shut off and forgotten.

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  4. I haven’t heard any of these except for Michael which I quite like. So in my sorta scientific study, you’re 100% wrong.

    I reserve my hatred for ABBA – I know, I know everyone loves ’em apart from me, but I’m right and they’re all wrong!

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    1. I had to buy Abba Gold once after I threw my cousins copy in the microwave. That minute watching it in the mike was the best minute ever. The minute I paid for the cd was the worst.

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  5. I don’t know any of those songs either to be honest.
    I usually find that if I hate something, I like it later. I mean, I used to hate Motorhead’s “Ace Of Spades.” Now… well, its Ace of F***in Spades.

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    1. The ACE OF SPADES! Love that tune. Used to hate it too, but I was a kid.

      I am glad you have never heard these. Not even Avril?? That thing went viral for a while. (in the bad way)

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      1. No problem man! As near as I can figure, this is like the blogging equivalent of a pat on the back and a Way To Go from your fellow bloggers. I don’t think there’s an actual award that one person wins. I could be wrong about that. Anyway, we all read Lebrain so of course it was a shout-out to you!

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      2. Yeah, I’ve seen them too, it’s a nice thing to get a shout-out. And here atthe KMA, we always like to acknowledge all the goodness and Readers and Followers and all that good stuff, so an award like that has gotta get written up! It didn’t actually take all that long to do. It was fun trying to think of 7 things about me. I want ALL THE DESSERTS!

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  7. Giddy up horseface. Hahaha. I don’t think Porn Star Dancing or Painkiller are that bad. However, any band trying to copy the Nickelback formula is not off to a good start.
    5 for me would be No Rain-Blind Melon, Beds are Burning-Midnight Oil, Something In Your Mouth/Animals(tie)-Nickelback, We Built This City-Starship, Final Countdown-Europe. Trooper, Loverboy, Bryan Adams, The Doors, Meatloaf, The Clash, U2 and Creed should be on this list, but I could only name 5.

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    1. Hahaha Brian, I like a lot of your songs there!

      I wish you could hear Uncle Meat’s version of We Built This City. He re-did it as “He Ran This City” — a tribute to Rob Ford. “He ran this city…he ran this city on crack cocaine…”

      I cannot post any more of the lyrics though :)

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    1. Nor do I. I really don’t get why we put these people on pedestals who cannot sing.

      I’m not a fan of lip syncing. Sometimes a pop music fan will say to me, “Well, Britney dances for 90 minutes straight, so how is she supposed to sing and dance at the same time? Nobody can get that much breath.”

      My answer is that there is a whole other profession called “dancing” that Ms. Spears might find interesting.

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  10. I know the “My Darkest Days” song because I’m a fan of Zakk Wylde. It’s not terrible.

    I know of the Avril Lavigne song but haven’t listened to it. I heard that it’s about Japanese pop culture and she says a line in Japanese in it.
    Maybe I’ll listen to it and see how her Japanese sounds.

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