#668: It’s All in the Name

GETTING MORE TALE #668: It’s All in the Name

At the Record Store, we had a habit of giving customers nicknames.  It made them easier to remember…and it was sometimes good for a chuckle!

Some customers, however, needed no nicknames.  Their real names were definitely historic enough.

First there was Bill.  Bill Board.

If I had a name like Bill Board, I think I would prefer to introduce myself just as “Bill”.  Or I’d just go by William.  We had a few CDs on order for Bill Board.  It was one of those names that made you say “Come again?”

Charlie Brown was another one.  You were not required to give a last name to order a CD.  Only a first name was necessary.  The first time he phoned, Charlie Brown gave me both his names.  He requsted a CD.  I asked for his info, and I laughed!  I thought it was a prank call.  “You laughing at my name?” he said.  “That’s my real name!”  Charlie Brown, you will never be forgotten.

There was also a fellow named Lynn, no last name given.  Yes, there are men out there named Lynn.  It’s unusual but not unheard of.  However when Lynn was put in the system for a CD order, we made sure to add the notation “Lynn – a man”.  That way when you called for Lynn and left a message, you wouldn’t say something like “Please tell her that the CD she ordered was in.”  We’d know it was a guy and which pronoun to use.  That’s how “Lynn – a man” made it into our order entries!

Finally, we had Zoltan.  Zoltan Zonger.  What an awesome name!  It recalls the “Zoltan cultists” from the movie Dude, Where’s My Car.  Remember them?  “ZOLTAN!”  Good old Zoltan, “Double-Z”.  He was not seen much, but his name was there in the order system.  It’s the kind of name that jumped out every time you scrolled past it.  Zoltan Zonger.

Fuck, I wish I had a cool name like Zoltan Zonger!

33 comments

  1. Bill Board, Charlie Brown and Zoltan Zonger. Zoltan. Zonger. That’s the pinnacle of awesome names right there. Almost like a clumsy superhero.

    Man, I love that movie… haven’t seen it in years, but you’ve put me right in the mood for it!

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        4. Ach. Harold and Kumar, but no Dude…

          … it’s the weekend, though… I might pick up a cheap DVD copy if I’m out and about. Live a little!

          Liked by 1 person

        6. Jeez, the only drive-throughs we have here are McDs, KFC and, eh, another of those types of burger places. Maybe a Pizza Hut.

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  2. We used to give customers nicknames too.

    I remember Sawtooth, Elsie Dumas (who got changed to just Dumb Ass), Safety Dance, Stinky.
    I’m sure there were a ton more, I just don’t remember.
    We had a Mike Palmateer. Not the former Leaf great though. But Charlie Brown. Wow.
    The most famous dude I knew named Lynn was football great Lynn Swann.

    We had a Zoltan too. Zonger though. I wish I had a name like that. Mine is so far off.

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  4. We have a annoying producer at work who will show up or call at random times with requests that will make the remainder of your shift a nightmare. We started calling him Beetlejuice because we are afraid if we say his name three times he will appear.

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    1. HAH! The radio station I listen to has an annoying caller, and the rule is DO NOT MENTION SHE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED. If you do, you get hung up on. Right before she calls and gets through, usually.

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        2. The Chief was awesome.
          I loved him and when he would always mispronounce everything.
          Like when he called Michael and Greg.

          POW WOW.

          That would really suck if he died. I wondered if he just got pissed off at Craig and moved on.
          Like Raymond and whatever the name was of the drunk, ex stripper dude that always swore

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        3. Bubbles. Fucking Bubbles, I hated that guy.

          I don’t know if you were listening this morning, but Darryl has a new “nerd” persona that he does. Nelson Nerdlinger. LOL

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        5. I think she gets impatient with the childishness, but people love that about Darryl. And of course Brad enabled him, which made it that much better.

          Jessie has been doing well on the morning show the last two weeks. I wonder if that will become permanent. It would be fine with me if it did.

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        6. Yes. Brad and Darryl got along great. I think Brad would also pretend to be annoyed with Darryl when talking with Gayle to make peace. She seems like a person you do not want to piss off.

          I am cool with Jessie on Morning Buzz.
          Maybe Simon gets her 7 – midnight shift.

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        7. Yes I agree. I think Brad was the perfect go-between for them. He could party and be silly with Darryl but be more serious and parent-like with Gayle. I think Jessie can also do that. We know she can drink….

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