#798: Chinese Democracy

A sequel to Record Store Tales Part 285: Chinese Democracy

GETTING MORE TALE #798: Chinese Democracy

I met Thussy back in 2007.  He joined the team at work and we became friends immediately.  We liked the same stuff.  Trailer Park Boys, Guns N’ Roses, comedy.  He is responsible for getting me into Super Troopers, which admittedly took a couple tries.  We were also both getting married around the same time, so we had similar complaints and gripes to talk about.  Drama with bridesmaids and seating plans, egads.

Thuss is a gamer, and we enjoyed chatting games.  Axl Rose did a voice (a radio DJ) in the video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.  You could switch between stations, and if you chose the rock station you got Axl.  It was one of the few things Axl did that was released during that long dry spell between albums.  Of course, this led to ample discussions of Chinese Democracy.

“It’s never coming out,” Chris insisted.  I hated to say he was right, but it sure seemed that way.  He refused to back down on his position.  We’d been fucked with by this band for so long.  Guns had missed several release dates, so many that it had become a joke.  Axl chewed up managers and spat them out like stale bubblegum.  Then the Dr. Pepper soda company offered to buy a Dr. Pepper for everyone in America if Axl managed to make his 2008 release date.  Axl seemed good-naturedly amused by the idea, offering to share his Dr. Pepper with Buckethead when the album comes out.  (This because Dr. Pepper said the only Americans exempt from this offer were former Guns members Buckethead and Slash!)

On October 22 2008, I was working at my desk, listening to the radio when the DJ, Carlos Benevides, announced that they would shortly be playing a brand new single by Guns N’ Roses.  It was the title track, a song both Thuss and I were already familiar with.  He had a disc of rough mixes for many of the tracks, and I had the Rock In Rio bootleg CD set.  We already knew half the new songs, and “Chinese Democracy” was a track I thought smoked.  I called Thuss and he listened in as it played.

It sounded like shit on our little mono telephone speakers, but we were listening to brand new Guns!  The overall listener reaction was mixed to negative, but I already loved it.  “The album’s never coming out,” said Thuss.

“It has to, now.  There’s a single out.  It’s definitely coming.”

“No.”  Thuss was insistent.  “It’s never coming out.”

“But Dr. Pepper…” I began before being cut off.

“No.  Not coming out.  Never.”

The funny thing was, “Chinese Democracy” wasn’t actually the first song released from the album.  A month earlier, “Shackler’s Revenge” became the first new Guns song in nine years, when it was released as part of the Rock Band 2 video game, which neither of us had.

A new release date of November 23 was announced.  “Nope,” said Thuss.  “Nothing is coming out on November 23.”  It was, strangely, a Sunday.  Generally, nothing came out on Sundays.  It was absolutely an odd move that did throw the whole release into question for some.

I asked ye olde Record Store to hold a copy for me.  “Do you want vinyl?” he asked.  “No, just CD.”  It was something I’d regret, when he sold out of the vinyl a week later.  I emailed to ask if he had any left.  “Do you remember me asking you if you wanted vinyl?” he scolded.  “Yeah,” I sulked.

When I walked into the store on November 23 and was handed my precious copy of Chinese Democracy, it was so anticlimactic.  There it is.  It’s in your hands, the culmination of a decade and a half’s work.  You’ve been waiting all this time for this album, and there it sits.  An album that had “release dates” going back to 1995 and every single year since.  Then, you witness Guns return to the live stage from their cocoon, different but recognizable.  You watch them struggle to establish a lineup, and you hear rumour after rumour about song titles and release dates.  Then you’re holding a CD in your hands, a pitiful little plastic case with a little paper cover inside.  You hand the guy your debit card, he rings it in.  Transaction approved, you are handed your receipt.  Chinese Democracy goes into a little plastic bag.  Even though it’s probably the most expensive and longest gestating album of all time, your little plastic bag weighs the same as if you bought Sex Pistols.

At least I’d be able to show it to Thuss.  Monday the 24th rolled around.

“It came out.  I have it,” I told him as I strolled into his office.

“No it didn’t.  It never came out.  It’s never coming out.” He was sticking to his story come hell or high water!

“Yes it did! It’s in my car right now!  I’ll show it to you.”

“You have nothing,” he responded, refusing to come and look.

In the years since, Thuss has stubbornly stuck to his guns and his believe that Chinese Democracy has never come out.  “I have the unreleased mixes,” he says.  “That’s all there is.”

I emailed him to tell him I was writing this story, our tale of the time Chinese Democracy was released.

“So you are going to take a crack at some fictional writing…nice.”

I will never win this one!

So now I have two stories both titled “Chinese Democracy”.  I say, why not?  Peter Gabriel has three self-titled albums.

29 comments

  1. I feel the question of Chinese Democracy should have been less of “When is it releasing” and more of “Should it be releasing”

    Also, I think your review of Virtual Lights can be classed as fiction too.

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  2. Peter Gabriel has four self-titled albums really. His 4th album was only called “Security” in North America and the insistence of Geffen, but on the original vinyl you could peel off the sticker containing the title which Gabriel would call “the world’s first disposable title”.

    Peter Gabriel 3 is a desert island disc for this guy.

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      1. I can hear it. I was just watching The Last Temptation of Christ which Gabriel did the score for. I’m trying to rewatch (or watch for the first time) all the Scorsese I can before The Irishman comes out on Wednesday. I’m excited. It seems like it’s going to be his Once Upon a Time in America, which is a film I absolutely love. Total classic, and much better than the Tarantino Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Sergio Leone was something else.

        Oh, anyway, the score for Last Temptation was absolutely fantastic. Gabriel rulez. Also, when’s the stream of that radio broadcast about The Black Hole coming out. I wasn’t able to listen to more than a few minutes.

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  3. Did everyone in America get a Dr. Pepper?

    I tell you what, I kinda regret not pickings the vinyl last year when it was everywhere for less than £10. Even though I don’t think the album is particularly good.

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    1. Now that’s dedication.

      As for me? Meh. Some tracks are solid (the title track, Sorry, Better), and others need a shotgun to the face (Madagascar, Shackler’s Revenge, If The World).

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      1. Better is such a great tune. I’m glad the current band still plays a few of these. I got a little bored with some of the ballads, and Shackler’s just never did anything for me.

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  7. I read that Dr. Pepper gave the people 1 day to request their free can, and the site (phone lines?) crashed. Not surprsingly.
    For me it would have been too much effort for a 50 cent item.
    Axl basically partly blamed Dr. Pepper for the negativity just after the release. Obviously he was totally blameless.

    As for that album I remember liking more than most. It’s been a long time.

    I need to re-listen and re-read about the fellow that was in hot water over the early release.

    As for your co-worker I wish I could deny that Trooper, Loverboy and Bryan Adams have been played on Canadian radio 3 times a day for the last 35 years.

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      1. I have some 80’s Celine on vinyl. It’s in french and I never listened to it, but it came in a box with some other stuff. Maybe one day.

        As for Jann I saw some ads for her on CBC. UGGHH. Even worse than her music is her on camera. Annoying AF.

        When I go to my mother in laws she always has CHYM on. I have to turn it down. It’s ok when real quiet like elevator music. The dj’s are super annoying though. Plus Christmas music in July.

        Axl is pure as the driven snow. Or the powdered snow. Whatever.

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        1. I know Aldo Nova played on a lot of her stuff, particularly the French albums. There was one song I remember liking. Aldo was in the video and it had a cool, twangy riff.

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        1. I’m not too sure on that Joe. I don’t know if “he” was banned, or just performing that song or album. Which of course would be the same as banning Axl since he’d never agree to that.

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