#953: The Moment I Dumped Conspiracy Theories

RECORD STORE TALES #953: The Moment I Dumped Conspiracy Theories

With a lot more free reading time on hand after quitting the Record Store, I dove back into one of my favourite childhood topics:  UFOs.

It was Canadian nuclear physicist Stanton T. Friedman who re-convinced me there was something legitimate about the subject.   Described as a “genius” by those who knew him, Friedman spent 50 years as a ufologist.  He often said, “Most sightings can be easily explained.  We’re not interested in those.”  His point being there is a small but baffling number of contenders, that have yet to be fully debunked.  I began buying up his books, and found his stance as a “facts and figures” man quite convincing.  He was quite convinced that the United States and other governments had engaged in a “cosmic watergate” to cover up certain unexplained events.  He went to great lengths to find and verify documents in US archives, going so far as to find out if certain typewriters were used in certain offices.  If they were not, then the document was a forgery and he discarded it.  He put a tremendous amount of time into his research.  After seeing him speak in a documentary called Out of the Blue, I was intrigued.

I bought every book by Friedman that I could get my hands on.  To balance it out, I also read The Demon Haunted World by Carl Sagan.  It is important to read the view of the sceptic, but even so I thought Carl overlooked some things.  Then I bought Jesse Ventura’s book called American Conspiracies, which expanded the field into JFK, 9/11 and more.  Only one chapter on UFOs, but Ventura’s experiences were interesting at least.  Finally, I misguidedly bought a highly reviewed book by Richard Hoagland and Mike Bara in which they presented for evidence a number of photos of “glass domes” on the moon.  Suddenly and unwittingly, I had crossed the Conspiracy Threshold.

The Conspiracy Theshold is the line between the conceivable and the asinine.  It’s subjective, but exists for all who delve into the world of conspiracies, just as certain and invisible as the air in their lungs.  Much like the line between clever and stupid, it is a fine line that differs from person to person.  Glass domes on the moon was way, way past my threshold.

What happens if you go further?  In my experience, all conspiracies eventually flow to a weird, apocalyptic religious end.  How far you go is up to you, but that’s where all roads lead.  For example, when I followed UFO conspiracies too far on the way to the top…Barack Obama ended up a being satanist lizard alien.

Q Anon are now the latest who believe in lizard aliens.  Cool story.  Hey, you know what, I saw “V” as a kid too.

There are variations of the lizard alien theory, with the Queen, the Pope, the Clintons and the wealthiest families in the world all secretly running things in their lizardly ways.  You’ve heard of the Bilderbergers?  They’re the head honchos, when it’s not the military-industrial complex or the Pentaverate.  They’re all aliens, demons or both.  It’s a fine line — some who believe that the concept of aliens violates the Bible say that aliens and demons are the same thing.  Whatever the finer nuances of a given conspiracy theory, this is where they all lead, if you follow the breadcrumbs all the way.

By that time you’ve either realized you’ve gone too far and need to take a step back, or you’re too far gone to be reasoned with.  Not surprisingly, today’s “Pandemic Conspiracies” ultimately take you back to…lizard people and the End of Days.  Go far enough down the rabbit hole and eventually you become the rabbit.

These people have sucked the fun out of conspiracy theories.  With just a hint of sadness, I for one will never travel that aisle of the bookstore again.

 

42 comments

        13. Actually, thinking out this… that is not a conspiracy theory. That’s a malacious rumour. A conspiracy theory would be “Louis and Harry conspired to try and take over the band.” A rumour would be “Mike and Meat are gay together and adopted Harrison as their son.”

          Speaking of which, watch the show tonight!

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        16. Cause the way they used to act around each other! How Harry kissed Louis a few times on stage in the early days (from the videos I’ve seen), there was also that one video where Harry asked Louis where he wanted to sit at a CD signing. Louis said he wanted to sit next to Harry, but supposedly, the management (at least the guy off screen) was like, “no, you can’t sit together.” It’s very complicated.

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        20. Well, Louis had a girlfriend at the time. He’s still with her, I believe. Louis said the Larry (Harry and Louis) rumors are what drove he and Harry apart. But in my opinion, I think they’re also idiots because they’re young and they let the fame get to them. They shouldn’t worry about what other people think of them (dating or not).

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  2. Love the works of Stanton Friedman and Jacques Vallee. Q Anon not so much. Too many outlandish fantasies.
    How about that Nimitz Incident though? That stuff is wild.

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  5. V rocked my world growing up, I still put that on every few years. I never did get much into conspiracy theories. I’m sure there is other life somewhere out there but I don’t think they are lizards controlling what we do.

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  6. Conspiracies are interesting to read about, but always important to stay in touch with reality. I keep meaning to read The Demon Haunted World, one day I’ll get to it. And what a perfect song to end the blog post, I love UFO’s “Doctor Doctor”.

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  7. We went to see Carl Sagan speak at the University of Toronto. This was about the time that Sagan was promoting SETI (Searh for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence). Unfortunately you UFO junkies dominated the Q and A portion. UFO believer after UFO believer asked their silly questions. I absolutely believe in aliens. I don’t believe they are on earth. End of story.

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    1. LOL don’t blame me! I would never both Carl Sagan about UFOs.

      I won’t rule out that they can GET to Earth. Especially if coming from somewhere close like Alpha Centauri.

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