Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza

GUEST FILM REVIEW: Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) – Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza 2024 part 5

HALLOWEEN III:  SEASON OF THE WITCH (1982 Universal)

Directed by Tommy Lee Wallace

I’m sure most of you know by now that Halloween was supposed to be an anthology series, but the first film proved so popular the studio wanted Michael Meyers back for the sequel, and got him. This third entry was supposed to right the ship with a whole new story, but after two films with Michael, fans just couldn’t accept this and the movie was critically and commercially panned at release. Philistines!

Decades later the movie has had a bit of a resurgence, with plenty of loyal fans flocking to it every autumn. If you go into it thinking of it as Season of the Witch as opposed to Halloween III, it might help you appreciate the many merits of this film. It may make me a horror pariah, but it’s my favorite in the series. I’ve never been crazy about the original. I think Bob Clark did the same concept better years earlier in Black Christmas. The other Halloween sequels range from fine to shit to fucking shit.

Absolute legend Tom Atkins takes over for Jamie Lee Curtis as protagonist in this outing, playing an alcoholic doctor who’s also a licentious Lothario. There’s nary a woman in this movie he doesn’t or hasn’t previously screwed. Age, race, relationship status matter not to this man. He’s an equal opportunity womanizer, and that’s why we love him.

The mystery begins when a crazed man being chased runs into his hospital spouting incoherent nonsense, only to be assassinated by a man who blows himself up to avoid further questioning. His buxom young daughter shows up to investigate, and Tom abandons his kids on Halloween and ignores his estranged wife to get to the bottom of this young… I mean… the bottom of the mystery.

Signs point toward an Irish Halloween mask company. Spooky witchcraft, sacrificial rites, and robots abound in honor of Samhain. I always liked that this took the series in a new direction of horror. A kind of mystery thriller instead of a slasher, with a healthy dose of ‘80s camp. Even with the camp, the villainous old man from Robocop’s plan is remarkably sinister. I don’t remember Michael being willing to kill kids; this guy’s taking out thousands of those little fucks.

I find it hard to articulate why I get a kick out of this one so much. I suppose I have a weak spot for older, overweight, alcoholic, grizzled guy protagonists being incredibly politically incorrect by today’s standards. See also Nick Nolte in 48 Hours and George C. Scott in just about everything. Tom Atkins’ character is in that studied tradition, although a steady influx of vaginal variety seems to keep him from being as world-weary as the aforementioned.

Season of the Witch is a perfectly solid horror film, and I’m convinced it’s abysmal reputation is solely due to fans expecting more Michael bullshit. The Carpenter score slaps, the cinematography is vibrant and colorful, and the story progresses logically, however absurd it gets at points. Watch it, or Harrison will curse you with the scent of cabbage.

4/5

GUEST FILM REVIEW: Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986) – Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza 2024 part 4

HENRY:  PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER (1986 Maljack Productions)

Directed by John McNaughton

Originally shown at the Chicago International Film Festival in 1986, this controversial low budget portrait of a serial killer took until 1990 to see a wider release. Saddled with the onus of an X rating, the indignation of puritans, and the schlock tagline “he’s not Freddy, he’s not Jason… he’s real,” you’d be excused for dismissing it as exploitative trash from a distance. However, you’d be remiss not to change that opinion after watching the thing.

The film was met with lavish praise from most prominent critics at the time, something few horror movies can ever claim. It’s a bleak, stark, and clinical look at violence and psychopathy. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer is a high brow look at a low brow existence of purposeless violence and squalor.

Michael Rooker plays the titular killer with icy perfection. There’s nothing exploitative about it, Henry doesn’t even seem to particularly enjoy the killings. It’s just something to do, a compulsion. He lives with his old prison buddy Otis, an oaf who eventually joins him on his homicidal streak. Unlike Henry, Otis gets off on the killing, giving him a sense of power and thrill. There are times Otis wants to kill out of frustration or passion, but Henry has to hold him back, informing him that’s the easiest way to get caught.

Henry’s modus operandi is to appear as if he has none. His killings are random with a different weapon every time, living as a vagabond to avoid any police suspicion. Otis lacks the discipline to play by Henry’s demented rules for an extended period, and the relationship begins to turn sour.

Joining them in the dynamic is Otis’ sister Becky who comes to live with the two of them. Henry feels protective of her, and she begins to fall for Henry. Incapable of reciprocating any healthy emotional bond with another person causes things go sour between them as well, although Becky doesn’t have the sense to realize this before it’s too late. He comes to view her as dead weight, baggage that will hold him down, and his lifestyle requires that he travel often and light.

Shot on grimy looking 16mm film, the haggard and grainy look compliments the frigid nature of the piece perfectly. When the two leads acquire a camcorder and begin to film the murders, it lends itself even more to a documentary feel. It’s easy to sensationalize material like this, but this grounded approach and the cast’s nuanced performances bring a disturbing verisimilitude. It’s a perfect watch if you’re looking for a psychological approach to ultra violence this Halloween, and it works as a grim character study any other time of year as well.

4.5/5

GUEST FILM REVIEW: Terrifier 3 (2024) – Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza 2024 part 3

TERRIFIER 3 (2024)

Directed by Damien Leone

Since I’ve been covering horror films of old the last two weeks, I thought it apt to cover one more contemporary. As contemporary as it gets as a matter of fact, as I just got out of an opening night showing a few hours before writing this. If you’re unfamiliar with the Terrifier saga, it focuses on serial killer/demonic supernatural entity Art the Clown. Initially appearing in short films and an anthology, he was granted a feature length excursion in 2016, the little indie movie that could, Terrifier. Made for around just $50,000, the film was panned critically, but garnered enough of a cult following to warrant a sequel.

Terrifier 2 was released in 2022 with a budget of just a quarter of a million dollars. However, the film was a surprise hit, making fifteen million dollars at the box office and garnering a number of positive reviews. Fifteen million may not sound like a lot these days, but bear in mind that this is an independent film series so violent that each entry has been released unrated.

And oh: the violence. Director Damien Leone received offers from major studios after the success of the second film to finance the third, but he had the integrity to turn them all down because he knew they’d try to censor his vision. These films make standard slasher flicks look like Walt Disney. Reports of people fainting, vomiting, and leaving the theaters in droves have accompanied the release of each film. None of that happened at my screening of Terrifier 3. The place was packed and people were glued to their seats. I was amused at how many guys were there with reluctant looking dates, possibly getting their girlfriends back for dragging them to something like Anyone But You earlier this year in the cruelest way possible.

It’s not all gruesome macabre gore though. These movies have a spirited sense of humor, and they’re only getting stronger each time out. Art is mute, but unlike other slasher villains, he’s incredibly emotive. David Howard Thorton imbues his performance with the grace, physicality, and body language of a silent film star, leading to moments of genuine hilarity. Whether he’s mocking his suffering victims or eroding their guard before hacking them to pieces, Thorton is perfect and totally committed. I was worried they wouldn’t be able to top sadistic comedy of the salt and bleach scene from 2, but I’m happy to report I laughed as much during 3 than I have at any comedy I’ve seen in years.

 

 

Another impressive aspect of 2 and 3 is the introduction of Sienna Shaw in the former film as the main protagonist. Played by real life martial artist, stunt performer, smokeshow, and general badass Lauren LaVera, we’re gifted a likable character to root for against Art. I say this is impressive because the film manages to have its cake and eat it too. A criticism levied at many slasher movies is that the one dimensional personalities of the victims makes the audience root for the killer, or at least see the movie through their point of view. The film does have its number of anonymous one dimensional meat bags for Art to cut through, but we have someone fundamentally good (angelic even) we hope to see triumph over him. Only after watching him creatively waste the supporting cast of course.

Art disposed of most of Sienna’s friends and family in a Halloween massacre during the second film, and she’s understandably having a hard time coping with that at the beginning of this one. Taking place five years after the previous film, Art being believed dead, Sienna is discharged from a mental institution to the care of her aunt and uncle where she hopes to spend a quiet Christmas with them and her young cousin, Gabbie. Art, who’s simply been dormant, is awakened in a condemned building by a demolition crew. Dispersing them in skin peeling fashion, he now has access to their van and all the goodies inside it.

Lauren LaVera crushes it here. She played a high schooler in one of those high schools where everyone looks like they’re pushing 30 in Terrifier 2, but here she’s convincing as a traumatized woman that fights every moment to stay strong for those around her. Haunted by violent hallucinations of the people she couldn’t save, LaVera navigates the precarious balancing act of portraying a damaged character that still has her innate toughness.

There are supernatural elements to Art and Sienna explored more in this film I don’t intend to spoil here. The imagery is not subtle, but in a film like this, subtle doesn’t really play. I’ve heard criticism that the plot is somewhat aimless compared to the first two with the addition of all the additional mythos. I can understand boring people considering some of Art’s kills to be unnecessary from an economic writing standpoint, but one of the main reasons people see these movies is for the spectacle of those inventively grotesque murders. Being so hyper-focused on plot is missing the forest for the trees. Besides, Art being on screen is guaranteed gold every time, and I was never bored or felt like the story was dragging when we cut to Sienna, because I liked her as a character and wanted her to prevail.

Admittedly, you need the right mindset or physical constitution to endure or enjoy this thing. Maybe I’m a sick fuck, but I had an absolute blast seeing this in the theater. So far each film has been a step up from its predecessor, and its cliffhanger ending has me excited for part four whenever it’s released. Damien Leone has assembled a group of very talented people, and his direction rises to their level. The film has reportedly already earned fifteen million dollars, which I hope ensures the production of the next one.

4/5

GUEST FILM REVIEW: Pieces (1982) – Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza 2024 part 2

PIECES (1982 Almena Films)

Directed by Juan Piquer Simón

Here’s a video that nasty casual horror fans may not know. Too hardcore for the UK, Pieces is a Spanish-American slasher gore fest, one of the most violent of the ’80s. Fortunately, the film mitigates the viscera with a cheeky sense of humor. By no means would I call it a horror/comedy, but it does sacrifice logic and plot consistency for entertainment. I still have no idea how one suspect is cleared of being the killer; he just shows up free of the police a few scenes later and everyone acts like it’s normal.

Much of the humor comes from poor taste: extremely poor taste. The opening scene presents us with a young boy completing a pornographic puzzle, then butchering his abusive mother with an axe before dismembering her body. When the police arrive, the boy is witty and manipulative enough to pretend to be traumatized and oblivious. It’s a nice touch when your slasher is smart enough to stay out of jail or the loony bin.

The plot picks up decades after the opening scene at a college where the students have a nasty habit of getting disembowelled in creative ways. The cops send in an undercover operative (Mary “the MILF” Riggs) to be the women’s tennis instructor, and keep an eye out for the killer. She’s aided by the one student in the know, Kendall James. Kendall also desperately wants to get in Mary’s tennis shorts, despite the huge age gap.

Graphic hijinks ensue as they piece together the mystery while more bodies drop. One murder leads into an acting moment so astonishingly powerful, it brings tears to my eyes to this day.

And the word “bastard” will send me into a fit of hysterical laughter forevermore. The plot in a film like this doesn’t matter much. You can probably figure out who the real killer is in the first ten minutes. That’s never been the appeal of a video nasty though. As schlocky, stringy, sinewy entertainment, it does its job well. The kills are some of the best of the decade, it’s funny both intentionally and unintentionally, and it’s got that low budget grime that your Halloweens and Friday the 13ths don’t that only make the film feel that much naughtier. Give it a shot if you’ve got the stomach!

3.5/5

GUEST FILM REVIEWS: Alice Cooper’s Top Five Horror Films – Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza 2024

Welcome boys and ghouls to Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza 2024! Throughout the month of October, yours truly will be supplying you with reviews of hellish horror every week. We begin with not one film, but five! I’ve decided to review Alice Cooper’s top 5 horror films according to an interview in NME.

In order to avoid a mammoth length approximating the intimidating size of the LeSausage*, I’ll keep each of these as concise as my loquacious heart will allow. The films are as such in the order that Cooper lists them.

5. SALEM’S LOT (1979)

A TV miniseries based on a Stephen King book as directed by Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s own Tobe Hooper? Sign me up. Featuring some of the greatest and most disturbing vampire makeup ever put to film, the parts that focus on him are the strongest moments of the film. That said, there’s too much fat in the runtime that focuses on the mostly uninteresting townspeople. It could have maintained the slow burn anticipation of revealing the vampire while cutting the three hour run time down to a standard ninety minute feature. Still, the vampire scenes rule.

3.5/5

4. SUSPIRIA (1977)

An iridescent Italian horror classic from Dario Argento. It’s a visually stunning piece with a masterful grip on tension. An American dancer travels to Germany to join a prestigious dance studio, only to learn it’s a front for a coven of witches. Ah, poop. Like several horror movies, it lacks narrative cohesion and momentum, but the visuals, mystery, and creatively graphic kills keep you interested in the ride.

4/5

3. THE HAUNTING (1963)

Black and white psychological terror. One of the all time great haunted house movies. The cinematography is immaculate, light and shadow coalesce with a classic story to foster a genuinely chilling atmosphere. The story isn’t particularly unique, with a scientist visiting a haunted house with several volunteers to prove the existence of ghosts, only to bite off more than they can chew. It’s just executed about as well as you could do so.

4/5

2. THE EVIL DEAD (1981)

Sam Raimi’s feature directorial debut, and Bruce Campbell’s big screen debut. It’s a feature length remake of a 1978 Raimi short film called Within the Woods which served as a demonstration to obtain funds for the full version here. Joel Coen was the assistant editor on The Evil Dead, and was inspired by this approach, opting to shoot a trailer for Blood Simple to secure funding for that film. No Evil Dead, maybe no Fargo, Big Lebowski, or No Country for Old Men either. How about that?

As for the film at hand, it’s a classic cabin in the woods story with gore aplenty and a kinetic campy style. Raimi’s visual style is antithetical to boredom when he’s directing anything except Kevin Costner’s worst baseball movie. The Evil Dead is good clean American fun, but would ultimately be improved upon in every way by the absolutely bonkers sequel Evil Dead II.

4.5/5

1. CARNIVAL OF SOULS (1962)

Perhaps the most overlooked movie on the list, it’s a haunting paranormal thriller with a somewhat predictable twist, but that’s not the point. A black and white haunting miracle of unease and gothic dissidence. The main character even plays a church organ! It excels in the quiet moments, as it builds to its tragically horrific but inevitable conclusion. Shoutout to director Herk Harvey, who also directed the greatest work safety film ever, Shake Hands With Danger.

5/5

Nice picks, Alice! His list meets the Holen seal of approval. Tune in next week kids for something completely different…

* That’s just a rumour.  One I started myself.  Flattery will get you everywhere, Holen!  – Mike

GUEST MOVIE REVIEW: Jack’s Back (1988) – Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza

Review #2 in Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza for 2019!

JACK’S BACK (1988 Palisades)

Jack’s Back is the little thriller that couldn’t. It never had a chance with the shoddy distribution that it received. This is the feature film debut of Rowdy Herrington, who was also responsible for a film called Road House. Unfortunately, his debut didn’t receive a fraction of the recognition that Road House did. It got two thumbs up from Siskel & Ebert, and that’s about all the attention that it garnered in its original theatrical run. Nowadays, its status has hardly risen, but I believe that this has the quality to rise to cult status. As a matter of fact, I believe it’s quite a bit better than most thriller/horror films that have gained such distinction, and much more intelligent as well.

Despite sounding like an exploitation film, being shot on a shoestring budget, and a shitty trailer, Jack’s Back succeeds as an intelligent crime caper with enough twists and turns to keep the audience from ever completely solving the mystery or losing interest. The most invaluable asset to this movie may be leading man James Spader, one of America’s best, brightest, and eccentric actors. The man is so well-spoken that you find yourself clinging on to every single word, a true silver-tongued devil. It makes sense that one of his most memorable turns (as Alan Shore on the fantastic Boston Legal opposite William Shatner) was as a lawyer. Here, he has a dual role as twin brothers, and he turns in an impressive performance in each instance. Even more impressive is how the two are so different. The first is a sensitive, caring, hospital worker. He’s a goody two shoes social activist, too good for this world it seems. The second is a tense, rebellious rapscallion, not afraid to break the rules, or get his hands dirty to get the job done. He’s not particularly selfless, and he doesn’t particularly give a shit.

The premise of this film is that it is one hundred years after the original Jack the Ripper murders, something fucky is going on. A copycat killer is recreating these killings, down to every minute detail. The gentle and measured brother (John Wesford) is suspected of being the killer posthumously. The cops are determined to pin it on somebody to calm public fears, so they jump the gun in declaring the culprit. They suspect John because he has the medical know-how to recreate the killings, and because of that fact that he mysteriously ends up hanged at his place of employment one night. They assume the guilt was too much to bear, and he took his own life. The only person that doesn’t believe John is Jack Jr. is his twin brother Ricky. Ricky saw his brother’s death in a clairvoyant dream, and it was not suicide at all in that vision. John was murdered. Ricky races to the scene of the crime minutes after it happens and finds his dead brother, leading the cops to view Ricky with suspicion. They believe that he may have killed his brother. Ricky then has to clear his name, and the name of his deceased brother. He knows that his brother’s killer will surely be the real Jack copycat. Or will he? Who knows? I do, I’ve seen the movie. You probably don’t, because you probably haven’t. Hardly anyone has.

What ensues is a wildly engrossing mystery that keeps you on your toes until the very end. There are moments of cheese of course, this film was released in 1988, but not once does this movie feel like the novelty that its title and tagline would suggest. For its modest budget, Jack’s Back hardly ever feels cheap, tacky, or undercooked. It’s suspenseful, charming, occasionally funny, and unlike many films today, it breathes. There’s life in this picture, and it’s clear that the participants are having a blast making it. Due to the modest budget and its incredibly fast shooting schedule, there was no time to mess around with this picture. That brisk controlled chaos contributes to the manic energy of the film, underscoring the tension of the second act. As of right now I believe it’s free to watch on Amazon Prime, so if you wanted to venture out to something spooky you haven’t seen this year, I’d highly recommend this one. Also the whole thing is on YouTube in HD.

But if you’re a physical media guy like me, and you have a Region A player, you can pick this one up to hold in your hands. The first time this film made it to disc in North America was a Blu-ray/DVD combo release a few years back done by Scream Factory. Surprisingly, I have nothing but praise for this disc. The special features are a little bare, but that’s to be expected for such a minor entry (commercially) in the careers of all involved. The video was meticulously restored in HD from the original negatives in its original aspect ratio of 1.85:1, and the picture looks better than anyone had any right to expect. It’s a low budget film from 1988, so temper your expectations, but I don’t see any evidence of print damage, excessive DNR, or shitty compression artifacts. I said surprisingly given that Shout! Factory has been very spotty in my opinion with regards to video quality. I appreciate everything that they do to bring us films that wouldn’t see a release by any other means, but some of their discs have been rather disappointing when it comes to their HD sources (here’s looking at you Wild at Heart, desperately in need of an updated 4K restoration).

Fortunately Jack’s Back had no HD transfer prior to this, so they had no choice but to do it with modern tech, and it’s clear that Pinewood (the dudes that restored this) handled this task with care and attention. The audio track is the film’s original mono mix rendered as a DTS-HD 2.0 track, and it’s as good as you’re gonna get out of such an old low budget film. It’s presented here accurately without any dropouts, pops, or clicks, and that’s all you could really ask for. Overall, I give major props to Scream Factory for this one, it’s a great disc, and well worth the $14.99 they’re asking for it.

4/5 Clairvoyant Spader Visions

And if you don’t trust me, take their word on it. They’re professionals, eh?

GUEST REVIEW: Oingo Boingo – Dead Man’s Party (1985) – Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza

OINGO BOINGO – Dead Man’s Party (1985 MCA)

Welcome to Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza year two. This month I’ll being reviewing some spooky stuff leading up to the big day. What day? It’s Halloween! That’s why it’s called Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza. Do try to keep up!!! Today I’ve got an album full of dead men, parties, and a combination of the two. I’m already pissing my pants in fear just typing about it. Oh God, that’s warm.

Hey, I bet you’ve heard a Danny Elfman score. Maybe even a plethora of scores that fit that descriptor. But did you know this dude was the lead singer of rock band Oingo Boingo? You did? Well I’m so sorry that I tried to teach you something new Mr. Smartypants! Or is that Mrs. Smartypants, or Ms. Smartypants? This is an inclusive review. Anyway, in 1985 the Elf Man and company released Dead Man’s Party, their most commercially successful album, and one of their most eclectic. As Chris Farley would say, this is some kickass shit.

For such a commercial album, it sure is stylistically diverse, and incredibly strange. One of the highest compliments you could pay this group is to say that every song sounds like them, but no two songs sound alike. This is a group with many first-rate musicians, including a brass section. How many rock bands have a brass section? What we have on this album is a strange blend of many influences that makes a surprisingly delicious smoothie. Imagine rock, pop, dance music, soul, ‘60s surfer music, circus music, musical theater, and film score sprinkles all seamless blended in a digestible package. You’ve got Dead Man’s Party. You may be thinking to yourself, ‘Gee whiz! These folks sound a lot like Mr. Bungle.’ And you’d be right, as I’m convinced that Mr. Bungle’s entire career is based on the Oingo Boingo song here entitled “No One Lives Forever”.

I mean come on, Patton. Did you really think no one would notice just because you made it more demented and less commercial? Silly Patton. Go sing your Nestles songs. While Mike is off singing about chocolate, allow me to tell you about the topic at hand. This whole album is incredibly consistent, from the paranoid theatrical rock romp “Just Another Day” (a personal favorite), to the get down on the dance floor spooky staple from Back to School “Dead Man’s Party”, to the cowboy ‘80s pop love song “Stay”. This is an album where every song is crammed full of as many ideas as possible, while somehow sticking to a traditional pop format with great melodies from the golden voiced, red headed front-man. I’ve found that listening to normal music directly after this album is incredibly hard, just because normal stuff seems so simplistic in nature after the “everything and the kitchen sink” bombast of Oingo Boingo. Another favorite is “Help Me”, which sounds like U2 fucked The Police and was raised by Motown music from the ‘60s, with just a pinch of church gospel.

None of these contrasting influences are jarring. Elfman has a knack for working them in with a grace and subtlety that throws a veil over his nihilistic dark humor. These songs sound great on the radio, but there’s something off about them, something strange going on underneath the surface, a tension, exuberance. You can hear traces of his future days as a composer here, and they make his ability to compact that talent into a catchy three minute rock song even more impressive. Filler is nowhere to be found, every song is clearly crafted with an incredible amount of care and attention. While not every song is completely to my tastes, I’d say 8.5/9 are winners that make me want to move and groove, cry, sweat, and cower. This is music that plays great in the background, but is so much more rewarding upon attempting to dissect every nuance, every nook and cranny in this jam packed record.

If you’ve ever seen them in concert, or a concert video, you’ll know they throw one hell of a party. So why not make your next party a dead man’s party? Sleep with this CD nestled tight in your arms this holiday season. Happy October all you people. Holen’s back.


I’m not reviewing this movie.  I’m off to change clothes. I’ve still got piss in my pants.

4.5/5 Elf Men