kitchener

#767: Just Older

A sequel to Getting More Tale #332:  Getting Older Everyday

 

 

GETTING MORE TALE #767: Just Older

Unless you’re a teenager buying booze with your fake ID, nobody likes being mistaken for older than they actually are.

When I was in my 30s, people used to think I was in my 20s.  I looked younger and I dressed younger because I worked at a Record Store and I could get away with it.  I bleached my hair, had piercings, and flashy shirts.  I saw people working at hair salons looking like rock stars so I thought the same could work for me in a Record Store.  Eventually I had a collection of over 30 flashy shirts.  I don’t think my bosses were impressed with my new image, but it was a hit with the ladies.

I loved looking younger than my actual age but all good things come to an end.

After quitting the store I wanted to change my line of work and look more professional.  The fancy shirts went into a closet.  The pleather pants were saved for Halloween.  The hair was toned down.  Eventually it started to go grey.  My beard turned white and I got fat.  It can happen to anyone.

I own the “old man” schtick now, but there is still one thing that I hate.  And I do mean hate.

Mrs. LeBrain is a little younger than me (I’m a 1972 model and she’s a 1978), but not by a significant difference.  Where she wins is a natural youthful look.  People always mistake her for someone much younger.  She loves being asked for ID.  That kind of thing makes her day.  What pisses me off is when people mistake me for her father!  And it keeps happening!

I took Jen to the hospital to have some tests done (no worries, all good) and had about an hour to kill.  I had an mp3 player loaded up with Kiss.  Because Heavy Metal OverloRd had been talking about Hotter Than Hell (a personal favourite and among the first Kiss records I ever owned), I decided to take a nice morning walk while listening to that album.  When done I progressed onward to Rock and Roll Over.  It was a lovely morning filled with cool summer breezes, trainspotting, and Paul Stanley at his peak.

I got back in good time and soon a nurse called to tell me Jen was all set to go.  She led me to her bed, and I saw a big bright smile on her face.  It’s the smile that keeps me going every day.  “Hi ‘dad’!” she said grinning.  I was confused.  Did she have a seizure?  Was she really mistaking me for her dad?

No, she was playing around.  The nurse asked if she wanted them to call “her father” to come and get her.  Me being her father!  Jesus Murphy….

I hate, hate, hate being mistaken for her father!  I didn’t even have my big white beard!

I’ll let it slide because those nurses did a great job as always, but c’mon!

I looked exactly like the guy in the photograph below.  I don’t think he looks old enough to be Jen’s dad, do you?

The hat, maybe?  The day I took Jen to the hospital I was wearing a Van Halen T-shirt and camo shorts with shoes and socks.

I have since shed the locks; a mixture of “shit brown” (my dad’s words) and grey highlights.  I now rock the bald head again, but do I look any younger?  I don’t think so.

It’s a game I just can’t win!  Though it doesn’t really matter does it?  Jen prefers me with less hair, and it’s a lot less work.  I was just keeping it long just to have long hair at Sausagefest for once.  I enjoyed that (it also kept my neck from getting burned), but long hair doesn’t feel nice in the summer time.  It’s time to go back to what feels good!

I have a birthday coming up this week, but I’m not old.  Just older!

 

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Gallery: Cheap Trick, Kitchener Ontario, 6/10/2019

Dr. Kathryn saw Cheap Trick at the Centre in the Square and has returned with photographic proof.

Comments:

“Cheap Trick were great! They played for about an hour and a half straight with no encore. It was a good mix of old songs and new. There were a bunch in the middle I didn’t know. Robin Zander can still sing pretty well, but his shortcomings were very obvious when he started to sing ‘The Flame’ with just himself on guitar. When he has all the other players behind him, his voice sounds much better and you can’t hear where he’s lacking. There was an extra guitar player (Robin Zander’s son Robin Taylor Zander) in the back and Tom Petersson played a twelve string bass. Rick Nielsen threw picks into the audience and I caught three!  Looking back, I didn’t get any close ups of Robin Zander! He was right in front of me plenty.”

Setlist:

  • Hello There
  • Way of the World
  • Oh, Candy
  • Big Eyes
  • California Man (The Move cover)
  • On Top of the World
  • Stiff Competition
  • Downed
  • Ain’t That a Shame (Fats Domino cover)
  • High Roller
  • Lookin’ Out for Number One
  • Stop This Game
  • I’m Waiting for the Man (The Velvet Underground cover)
  • The Flame
  • I Want You to Want Me
  • Dream Police
  • Surrender
  • Clock Strikes Ten
  • Goodnight Now

#738: Mike and Bob’s Cross-Kitchener Adventure

GETTING MORE TALE #738: Mike and Bob’s Cross-Kitchener Adventure

September 29, 1990.

Mike and Bob rented a video camera at Steve’s TV.  That afternoon, they began filming (full title) Mike and Bob’s Excellent Cross-Kitchener Adventure Part II.  They recruited amateur film maker (and Mike’s sister) Kathryn (Cujo 3: Revenge of the Schnauzer) to tape their adventure.  The result has, 29 years later, finally been edited down by Mike into a proper director’s cut.


It started with us and an idea.  We wanted to show off our home town to our friends living elsewhere in Ontario.  The best way to do that was with a video.

Bob and I spent the afternoon driving around Kitchener in his Dodge Daytona, with Kathryn on camera, tunes blasting.  Bryan Adams, Northern Pikes, Barney Bentall, Grapes of Wrath and…Wilson Phillips….  Wilson Phillips?  Driver picks the tunes.  That’s always been the rule.  For once, I’m proud to say I didn’t have my license yet.  It means I can’t claim to have picked Wilson Phillips!

Downtown Kitchener is familiar, but completely transformed today.  In our film, we captured both Sam the Record Man and Dr. Disc, just down the street from one another.  Neither exist anymore.  Dutch Boy, the old movie theatres, stores and restaurants disappeared years ago but at least we got them on tape.

We stopped by Grand River Collegiate Institute, so you can see what it looked like (on the outside) almost 30 years ago.  Stanley Park Mall, before complete renovation, is another filming location.  Back then, “JohnnyCash” machines were some of the first popular bank ATMs.  Today, younger people often don’t believe me they were real.  They were real, and here’s one in our movie!  Off to Pioneer Sports World, which today is a nothing more than a shopping plaza with restaurants and outlet stores.  In 1990, it had a water park, mini-golf, driving range, video arcade, and go-karts.  All of this is gone now, but preserved in our little movie.

The old McDonalds on Victoria Street was torn down long ago, but we were recording when we stopped for fries.  Our order came to $5.38 total.  Kathryn couldn’t resist taking a break from the camera and heading into the McDonalds Play Place.  It was always a sad time when you realized you were too big for the Play Place.  Looks like for Kathryn, that day may have been September 29, 1990.*

For personal history, I’m glad to find my old bedroom still preserved on film.  There it is, my old stereo.  My tiny record collection!  About 15 to 20 LPs in there?  My old posters.  A decent model tank diorama.  My old Judas Priest shirt, the first rock shirt I ever owned.  Another shirt discovered in this movie did not survive.  Oh, and there’s the cutest (but grumpiest Schnauzer in history, Crytal Belle.

We also visited Kitchener’s most controversial landmark:  “Aphoria”, a worm-shaped piece of art in front of the old courthouse.  We certainly made our feelings about the monument known in our film.  My position hasn’t changed much since.

Admittedly, we didn’t put much effort into making Mike and Bob’s Cross-Kitchener Adventure at the time. We only had the camera for a day. It’s what our old film teacher Mrs. Beckman would have called “just some kids goofing off.”  True, but maybe with 30 years’ time, that has some value now.  We didn’t script anything; we had no way of editing it, so there didn’t seem much point.  We had to just film everything in sequence and what we had on tape was what we got.  Before transferring it to digital, the movie was an hour long, and completely unwatchable to anyone but us.  I’ve since sunk several hours into Mike and Bob’s Cross-Kitchener Adventure, and I think I may have salvaged it.  At 32 minutes, this is more like what we would have done at the time if we had a way to edit tape.

If you’ve read this far, I’m not going to beg you to watch Mike and Bob’s Cross-Kitchener Adventure.  Old friends that remember those days will not want to miss it.  Most won’t care.  Whichever category you fall in, I recorded an audio commentary track to go with it (which helps a lot).  Choose which version to watch from the videos below.  Or watch both!

 

 

* The date was determined thanks to the film.  I had an old Hit Parader calendar and I mention that it was Alex Skolnick from Testament’s birthday.  That made it September 29, 1990.  This jives with the colour of the leaves and my own memory of the day.

 

#737: Nothing But A Good Time: The VHS Archives

I’m breathless because I found all my VHS tapes.  Every last one of them!

The first one to go in the player is the most important to me.

In 1989, Bob and I made a music video for “Nothing But A Good Time” by Poison for a highschool project.  Until now I’ve only been able to describe it to you.  In Getting More Tale #455: How to Make a Music Video (The Old-Fashioned Way) I went into as much detail as possible into how two kids made a music video.  That was fun but it was disappointing that I couldn’t show you the finished product.

Ladies and Gentlemen, filmed on location in Kitchener (1988 and 1989), here is “Nothing But A Good Time” by Poison, as interpreted by Mike and Bob!  Get a good look at the town and Grand River Collegiate Institute as it was 30 years ago.

God damn I’ve been waiting a long time for this!

 


In 1988-1989, a teenage LeBrain and his buddy Bob were very active in the school film program.  We both took the highschool film course, and loved it.  I remember writing an essay comparing the early and later films of Steven Speilberg, and scoring 98% or 99% on it.  I just loved film and still do today, but Bob and I had our eyes on a different prize.  We wanted to make a music video.

We both had guitars, and another kid in the film club named John had a camera.  A kid from drama class named Dave offered to be the drummer.   We didn’t have any drums (or even sticks), but that’s OK; Journey used the “no drums” thing as a gimmick in their video for “Separate Ways”.  Taking that as inspiration, I got Dave to hit rocks and tables with chopsticks.  We tried to access the drum kit in the school music room but it was booked.  We could still do it, thanks to Journey.  We could make an awesome music video!

It was our vision, so Bob and I got together one Saturday afternoon and spent several hours planning and doing rough storyboards.

 

POISONThe Charlie Awards were film awards for highschool kids, and Bob and I sought to enter our video that year.   It was fall, and we began planning.  The first thing we needed to do was pick a song.  Wanting something upbeat that would allow us to run around a lot and make rock poses, we chose Poison’s “Nothin’ But A Good Time”.  There was only one problem, which was that neither of us owned the album.  So, I conned my dad out of the $10 to buy a copy at A&A Records & Tapes.   I told him it was for a school project, which is true, but I didn’t tell him it was for a non-credit school project.  Nor did I tell him the tape would then become part of my permanent music collection!

Bob and I plotted out what we needed to film.  We wanted an intro similar to what Poison did in their very fun video (although this opening has since been edited out, probably due to “Rock and Roll All Nite” playing in the background of it).  We got an English teacher, Mr. Payette, to help us out.  In the school cafeteria, Bob’s character was sweeping the floor, playing air guitar and lip-synching to Van Halen’s “Jump”.  Then Mr. Payette stormed in!  “I pay you to clean the equipment, not play with it!” he yelled, nailing his part in just one take.  Bob, not used to a nice guy like Mr. Payette yelling, was visibly having trouble keeping a straight face:  but it worked!  In the next shot, we utilized jump-cuts to have Bob’s leather jacket, sunglasses and guitar suddenly appear on him.  And then the song began.

Since we had no idea how to make a music video and synch up the cassette audio afterwards, we had to figure it out as we went.  We wound up shooting the “band” miming the video multiple times in many locations.  Rockway Gardens in Kitchener was one such location.  The school stage was another.  We also did an incredible scene in a Geography class that was just terrific.  We wanted a really angry looking teacher for that one, so we asked the Science teacher Mr. Marrow.  He was a nice guy, but he sure could look mad when he needed to!  For this shot, we taped a Samantha Fox swimsuit poster to one of the geography maps.  Marrow pulled the map down, only to reveal Miss Fox!  He then gave the camera a glare and stormed out.  It was great.  We filmed some guitar solos at the same time.

We spent a few months filming shots for the video, gathering scenes from different locations.  We took some inspiration from the Beatles and had all of us rolling down a hill, jumping around on rocks, me doing several power slides…all kinds of rock and roll.  Still winging it, we figured we would have more than enough great shots when it came time to editing.

We did not expect editing to be easy and it was not.  Not in the least.  At our disposal, we had a state of the art VHS editing suite.  The school board owned it, and each high school got to keep it for a couple weeks a year.  We had access to the suite in early ’89, around March.  Bob and I stayed late at school every day for two weeks trying to get the video done by the deadline.  We also had permission to skip a few classes.  Still figuring things out as we went, we did not realize that the audio synch was a huge problem.

Bob pieced together the editing technique we would use.  He chose a “master take” of us miming on the drummer Dave’s front lawn.  This was a good master to use, because the audio was excellent.  Bob was pumping the song through his car stereo, so we had a nice loud audio track to edit to.  Then, when the video was done, we’d overdub the original song from the Poison cassette onto the video.  Although it was hard work, the video pretty much edited itself.  Bob and I both had plenty of shots we wanted to include, so it was just a matter of inserting them at the appropriate points.  We had seen so many music videos over the years that cutting it was like second nature, once we figured out how to do it.

That’s when we ran into the audio synch issue.

Cut completed, we dubbed in the brand new clean audio direct from the Poison tape.  By about halfway through the song, we started noticing problems.  Even though every shot was perfectly synced in with the “master track”, the clean audio overdub was not.  We struggled and struggled, trying to cue it up differently, and make it synch.  We just couldn’t do it.  By the end of the song, each line of the lyrics was off synch with our lips by at least one line.  We called in the film teacher to help us.  That’s when we learned something that we didn’t know about cassettes.

“Where is the original audio coming from on this video?” she asked.  We explained that Bob had a great car deck, so we used that for our master take.

“That’s the problem then,” she said, telling us something we did not want to hear.  “Car tape decks and regular cassette recorders often run at slightly different speeds,” she explained.  “That’s why your audio is off.  Either the car deck is playing the song fast, or this tape deck here is playing it slow, or both.”

There was nothing we could do with the technology at hand.  We had no way to slightly speed up the cassette so it would match the video.  And we were out of time on the editing suite.  It had to go back, and if we couldn’t change the tape speed then we’d be stuck with a video we couldn’t synch up.

Using what little time we had left, we re-edited the end of the video slightly, to try and bring the words back into sync where they were the most glaring.  We were able to fix some shots, but we were out of time and had to declare the project finished.

Bob and I attended the Charlie awards and saw some really amazing video work.  In particular there was some clay animation that was brilliant, but there were also plenty of videos that were not nearly as good as ours.  We got a special mention, but did not win a Charlie award, because of the audio synch.  It was bittersweet, but Bob and I were both really proud of that video.


 

REVIEW: Devilsradio – The EP (2019)

DEVILSRADIO – The EP (2019)

Here’s a new Canadian three-piece with some hard rock for your ears!  Their new three track EP has potential.  They’ve kept the songwriting short and to the point.  There’s a distinct 90s groove to the EP, without resorting to direct references or ripoffs.  When we say “90s groove” we’re referring to rhythm front-and-center, and a singer who does it from the guts.

Opener “Fear the Monster” has a pretty immediate chug, perhaps from the Stone Temple Playbook.  This track is the clear winner of the three.  As soon as it hit, my right hand started doing the air guitar motion.  Chug chug — the riff is the key.  Good song, and probably really good live.

“Lost in the Dark” and “Great Day” make up the rest of the EP, good songs both.  The edge is on the dark side, these are not party songs but good ones for those angsty days.  They could use some guitar embellishment, but the grooves crush.  Get your headbangin’ on.

The EP sounds like a good first outing for DevilsRadio.  There’s room to grow but they have a solid foundation from which to build.  I’d like to hear them write more songs and add more to their sound, be it backing vocals or instrumental flourishes.  There is good material here and “Fear the Monster” should get you movin’.

3.25/5 stars

1. “Fear the Monster”  2:57
2. “Lost in the Dark”  4:43
3. “Great Day”  3:37

 

Check out the EP here!

REVIEW: Max the Axe – Trillion Dollar Threats (2010)

MAX THE AXE – Trillion Dollar Threats (2010 Mutant Music)

Max the Axe’s stellar new album Status Electric didn’t pop out of thin air.  Before he nailed it with that CD, Max had five prior releases.  Status Electric included a couple songs from the previous album Trillion Dollar Threats.  “River Grand” was vastly improved with Eric “Uncle Meat” Litwiller’s vocals.  Though it’s no Status ElectricTrillion Dollar Threats is still an entertaining slab of rock.

Trillion Dollar Threats features a variety of players.  There are several singers:  Geoff Dyke, Ted Moore, John Kelly, Mickey Straight, Ted Guirey, and Eric Litwiller.  That’s almost enough singers to staff the entire career of Black Sabbath!  Over the 16 tracks, there’s not a lot of cohesiveness, but there is a lot of rock.

“Overload” is a heavy-as-fuck opener, 80s thrash metal through and through.  It’s all about that chug, but the vocals seem like an afterthought.  “Guns to Iran” takes a spoken word approach, over a heavy riff, but when the singer (Geoff Dyke) attempts to sing…it ain’t good.  Mickey Straight improves things immediately on “Daddy Was a Murderin’ Man”.  There’s some punk rock in Max the Axe and this is where it comes out (guitar solo notwithstanding).  Maybe a little Faster Pussycat or LA Guns too.

Max is the master of the chugging heavy metal guitar.  “Labyrinth” has that, before meandering around a few different bits.  It’s a good groove that could use some editing.  “I Don’t Advocate Drugs” has a good riff coupled with entertaining lyrics.  For more amusement, there’s “Belljar Party”, the story of stuff going missing after a party.  “Whoever it was, they took my Walkman too.”  Other cool tracks include the spacey “Mutant Mind”, “Livin’ the Country”, and “Mexican Standoff”.

According to Litwiller, “Uptite Friday Night” is the exact same version as the one on Status Electric.  That’s OK because the sloppy drunk vibe is perfect.  The original “River Grand”  has Terry Guirey singing, but although this is the blueprint the Litwiller version is clearly better.  He took it in a more grungy Alice in Chains direction.

Look at Trillion Dollar Threats as a stepping stone to Status Electric.  All the band members (Max, Eric, Dave Haslam and Mike Mitchell) are there on one track or another.  Status Electric couldn’t be as great as it is without Trillion Dollar Threats laying the groundwork.  It needed to be cut down from 16 tracks (way too much for most albums), and some of the tracks need some tightening, but there is some decent rock on Trillion Dollar Threats.  If you like metal in the retro style, there will be plenty of riffs here for you to digest.

3/5 stars

WINNER WINNER! Max the Axe CD draw!

“Hey Winner winner, love that chicken dinner, put it in a briefcase to go!” – Max the Axe, “Next Plane to Vegas”


WE HAVE A WINNER the Max the Axe CD draw!  Congratulations to…

LEAH from Waterloo, age 8!

 

Way to go Leah!  She was even able to name Max the Axe by his real name, Mike Koutis!  We’re not saying she had any help with this, but even if she did, it wasn’t against the rules!

Your Max the Axe Status Electric CD and Nancy Vicious button are on their way!*

* Mail strike notwithstanding!

GUEST SUNDAY CHUCKLE: “It is definitely going to snow”

Guest contributor Thussy returns with a Sunday Chuckle.  He was checking the 14 day weather forecast and noticed something peculiar.

 

“It is definitely going to snow overnight on the 29th.  That is an oddly specific number too.”

241% chance of snow?  We’re fucked!

 

CONCERT REVIEW: Max the Axe and guests, Dec 8 at the Boathouse + CD GIVEAWAY!

The Boathouse was rocked again this past weekend as Max and his legendary Axe stormed the place with heavy riffing, some friends, and a brand new album called Status Electric.

Opening the show was singer was former Max singer Mickey Straight (“from Guatemala” as he was introduced, but I think Guatemala is Toronto).  Mickey has a rock star stage presence and together with Max the Axe, they played some of their oldies such as “Mutant Mind” and “Belljar Party”.  Mickey played bass as a trio with Max and Dr. Dave Haslam on drums, which we quickly learned was going to be a common theme going forward.

Second up was the biggest surprise of the night: Nancy Vicious and the Nasty Bitches.  Punk rock was expected, and punk rock we had (including some Pistols and Stooges with originals).  On drums…the newly rebranded “God Damn Dave” Haslam.  Guitarist Mike “Mitch Bitch” Mitchell surprised us by ripping off his shirt revealing a corset.  But the real surprise was Nancy Vicious herself, a young powerhouse with lungs of fucking stainless steel.  Classic punk mixed with new-breed bands like Dilly Dally.  I learned that Nancy has been playing the bars for years, though only 19 years old.  No CDs for sale unfortunately — Nancy told me their first album was “really bad” but that they are working on a second one with (hopefully) about 13 songs.  They did have merch for sale in the way of stickers, buttons and postcards.

We were under the impression that the Hellen Keller Band had changed their name to the Delusionals.  This was Fake News.  What is the Hellen Keller Band?  An instrumental trio led by Mike Mitchell on guitar, God Damn Dr. Dave on bass, and Eric “Uncle Meat” Litwiller on drums.  Mitchell’s incredible picking was quite stunning to watch.  He’s got chicken pickin’ going on, and plenty of ability.  And it turns out Dr. Dave is even better on bass than he is on drums.  This trio was plenty of fun to watch, as they mixed covers and originals.  They closed the set with a blistering Dead Kennedys “Holiday in Cambodia”.

Finally the game of Musical Chairs came to the end when Max the Axe hit the stage.  Lineup:  Max on lead guitar, with Eric Litwiller’s voice, Dr. Dave’s drums and Mike Mitchell’s bass.  He played his entire new album, the stellar Status Electric in sequence with a break in the middle.  Now, we’ve been quite clear here how great Status Electric is.  Hearing it played live for the first time?  Brilliant.

Litwiller opened up his powerful lungs on “River Grand”, a grungy rocker.  He blasted consistently through all of “side one” while Max ripped hot licks on his Axe.  After the vocal tour-de-force “Sick of Living”, they played “Mexican Standoff” from Trillion Dollar Threats, some Black Flag, and then gave Litwiller a break as Mickey Straight was invited back for two oldies.  “Daddy Was a Murderin’ Man” and “I Don’t Advocate Drugs” (also Trillion Dollar Threats) were a treat.  The final side of the Status Electric album was then laid out, with “Gods on the Radio” and “Scales of Justice” being the obvious best tracks.  Unfortunately by this time all four band members had already played full sets with other bands, and they flubbed a few lines in “Uptite Friday Night” and “Scales”.  Not that this detracted from the show.  It seemed everybody was aware of how hard these guys had been playing all night!

4.5/5 stars

 

CD and MERCH GIVEAWAY!

WIN YOUR OWN COPY OF STATUS ELECTRIC!  Bonus NANCY VICIOUS STICKER AND BUTTON!

 

How, you ask, do I win?

It’s simple!  Just answer the easy question below by submitting it directly on the form.  All correct answers will be put in a hat and one lucky winner will be drawn at random!  Please remember to include your complete mailing address so we can send your prize!*

QUESTION:  Name all four current members of Max the Axe.

This contest will run for one week, from December 10 to December 17, when we will draw the winner.

Good luck!

*Disclaimer:  Canada Post is on strike and we can make no delivery guarantees.

MAX THE AXE CD release tonight!

Heed the “Call of the Wild”!  Max and his legendary Axe are hitting the Boathouse in Kitchener TONIGHT (57 Jubilee Drive, Kitchener, Ontario) for the release of his sixth record Status Electric.  Though a late arrival in 2018, Status Electric is so bloody good that it’s likely to (spoiler?) make our Top 5 of 2018 list.  When nine songs get stuck in your head for weeks on end, that’s a good sign.

Opening acts include Mickey Straight (ex-Max the Axe singer), Nancy Vicious and the Nasty Bitches, and The Delusionals (formerly the Hellen Keller Band).

$5 at the door, $10 for a CD.

If you’re anywhere near the “River Grand”, you won’t need the “Next Plane to Vegas” to join Max the Axe at the Boathouse.  Even “Randy” may be there, screaming the “Call of the Wild”.  If you are “Sick of Living”, don’t go to “The Other Side”!  “You Gotta” go to the Boathouse instead.  If you had an “Uptite Friday Night” then the best cure will be to rock with Max on Saturday.  Witness the “Scales of Justice” tip forever in Max’s favour.

At the very least, you’ll hear the cautionary tale of why “Only a fool owns a deadly snake, let alone two.”  That’s how it goes…so go to the Boathouse and catch them live.