The Northern Lights: A Doctor in the House Part I

THE ADVENTURES OF THE NORTHERN LIGHTS – Phase 3 – The Unicron Saga

Chapter Nine:  A Doctor in the House Part I

“Gentlemen, I’ve called you with the most urgent of missions.  We must act with haste.  The fate of the world is at stake…again.”  Tim Durling, head of the Durling Foundation, was not kidding around this time.

“Again?  Merde, I feel like all we do is save the world!” cried Jex Rambo via video call.

“You can say that again!” agreed Mike, the Brainiac II.

“Merde, I feel like all we do is save the world!” repeated Jex Rambo.

“Easy Jex,” calmed Mr. Durling.  “I haven’t even told you the mission yet.”

On the call were a spate of the Northern Lights’ highest ranking members.  Its leader, Tim Durling, was front and center.  The lines on his face spoke of sleepless nights and stone-cold serious days.  He has clearly been burning the midnight oil.

Surrounding his window were the trusted Northern Lights high command:  the long-haired Harrison Holden, also known as El Moustachio from across the world in Australia.  His ally Ripper the Squirrel must have been scuttling about the floor somewhere, for he was not perched upon Harrison’s shoulder as normal.   Behind him: his beloved portraits of Disney’s Stitch, and Iron Maiden’s Maiden Japan.

From Northern Lights Kincardine HQ were an unlikely quartet, gathered together by their last mission to Georgia via Kincardine habour. Mike, the “Brainiac II” and Specialist Jen were front and center, flanked by Robert Daniels the King of Sharks, and Max the Swinging Axe.  He was, of course, a big deal.  He was hanging around to assist Rob on his next mission: salvaging his ship the HMS Visions In Sound from the bottom of the Atlantic.  He had a priceless soundtracks collection aboard her, fortunately sealed in vaults when the ship went down.

From the UK came the 80s Metal Man (also a Michael), rarely seen on these calls as he was usually quite occupied on his side of the world.  He had a wise, teacher-like appearance.  He wore a suit jacket and tie.

Jex Rambo, shirtless as usual, was coming through from Owen Sound, Ontario.  He was stationed there at Aaron’s Archive, and had set up a mini-gym in the basement, from which he was broadcasting.  Mr. Aaron Books was upstairs in another room, broadcasting from his own office.

The Snowman was in attendance, recently cleared of suspicions that he was a spy on behalf of Unicron the Planet Eater, loud and clear all the way from the Stone Mountains in Georgia.  His internet had just been reconnected, this time with a reliable company and not an affiliate of the Decepticons.

The Nothern Lights newest member, Johnny Homework was there on this his first call.  By his side was his trusty protocol droid R0-GR, calling in from Alabama.  Johnny’s hair has been growing quite luxurious.  Meanwhile, the red-bearded droid R0-GR sat silent in his gold skin – his usually loud voice being necessarily muted for this call.

Only absent from this meeting was Bernard the Knight (who hadn’t even mastered 18th century technology yet, let alone the 21st), and the mysterious Night Ranger.  Supposedly off on a mission.

Supposedly.

“Metal Man, why don’t you take it from here?” motioned Durling.

“Very well,” answered the Metal Man.  “As you know, my jurisdiction is monitoring other planes of reality, such as Rock and Roll Heaven.  I am also charged with temporal affairs.  I have noticed slight changes, and indications that someone has been messing with time.”

“Slight changes?” asked Rob, the King of Sharks.  “Such as?”

“This one is minor, but more are coming.  Tell me, can you remember who Iron Maiden’s mascot is?”

Mike jumped up.  He and Harrison were big fans.  “Of course!  Iron Maiden’s mascots are Khn and Klek de Poitrine, the alien duo!  They’ve been on every album cover since the debut, and their appearance on Powerslave was legendary!”

Harrison pointed at an album hanging on his wall.  “There’s Klek de Poitrine right there on the cover of Maiden Japan.  The classic image of him with his samurai sword.”  Easy question.  What was the Metal Man getting at?

“WRONG!” answered the Metal Man.  “Iron Maiden’s mascot should be a living corpse named Eddie.  Eddie the Head, as illustrated by Derek Riggs.”

“Who?” asked Tim Durling.  “Never heard of him.”

“Exactly!  Derek Riggs has been erased from history!  According to newspapers from the era, he was murdered in 1977 and they never found the killer.  Therefore, he would never paint the Eddie that would become the first Maiden cover.  Angine de Poitrine modeled for a different painter instead.  Now here is another question.  Who replaced Ozzy Osbourne in Black Sabbath in 1977?  Clue – it’s not Dio.”

“I got this one!” said Johnny Homework.  “Rod Evans from Deep Purple.”  Johnny was absolutely certain of the facts regarding this obscure lineup change.  “Rod was only in the band for long enough to do one TV appearance, a rendition of a new song called ‘Junior’s Eyes'”.  Johnny crossed his arms in confidence.

“Wrong again!” answered the Metal Man.  “Ozzy was initially replaced by Dave Walker, of Savoy Brown and Fleetwood Mac.”

“Impossible,” interrupted Durling.  He shook his head to make his point.  “I wrote a book on Fleetwood Mac.  I would know.”

“Yes you would, if someone didn’t change history.  Dave Walker disappeared in 1977, never to be found.  But it should not have been that way.  Dave Walker recorded an early version of ‘Junior’s Eyes’ for television.  Or, he should have if he didn’t disappear.”  Metal Man switched his display to a timeline chart, and continued to speak.  “Gentlemen, someone has gone back in time to 1977 and is changing rock history.  We’ve seen something like this before, so we know we can undo it!  It is your job to go back in time and stop the killer, or killers, from doing this.”

“There’s more,” added Durling.  “Your secondary mission is to find out who is behind this, and why.  However, your primary mission remains your top priority.  Prevent the killings.  Restore history.”  He was firm.

There was a grave understanding on the group call.  Then, the stoic Harrison spoke.  “I suppose I’d better get reading the logs of our original adventures and review how time travel works.  It was complicated,” he sighed.

“Not anymore!” answered the Metal Man.  “Here in England, we have certain contacts that you do not have.  Gentlemen, please meet my newest friend.”  He paused for dramatic effect.

Suddenly, at Northern Lights HQ in Kincardine Ontario, a groaning sound was heard.  A light began to flash in the center of the room of the old cottage.  Mike, Jen, Rob and Max turned and stared as a blue telephone box faded into existence in the middle of the room.  All of this was captured via webcam and broadcast to the others.  The Metal Man smiled smugly behind his camera, while everyone else’s jaws dropped to the floor.

“Putain de merde!” cried Jex.  “I know that telephone box!”

“Technically a police box,” corrected Metal Man.

There was steam in the room, clouding the view of the legendary TARDIS.  With a crack of light, the door opened.  Out stepped a tall, skinny older man with curly white hair atop a long face, aged with wisdom.  Wearing black sunglasses and a red guitar, the older man smiled.  Mike, Jen, Rob and Max all stood and stared at their guest that had suddenly appeared in their living room.  Everyone was dumbstruck.

“Well?” said the older man, breaking the silence in a Scottish accent.  “Aren’t y’going t’say anythin’?”

It was Rob who spoke first.  “It’s you!  The Doctor!”

“The Twelfth Doctor, to be precise!” answered the man, the spitting image of an actor named Peter Capaldi.  But that was surely coincidence.  Only the Snowman seemed to not know who had just arrived.

“Doctor?  Who?” he asked.

“Precisely!” answered the Doctor.

“Woah!” said Max the Axe.  “What’s in the box, Doc?”

The Doctor removed his sunglasses.  He stepped directly in front of Max.  His bulging eyes were framed by eyebrows like old grey caterpillars.

“You want to know what’s in that box? I’ll tell you what’s in that box! It’s a time machine! It also travels in space! And it usually contains a man who just wants to get on with his work of preventing the end of the world — but keeps on getting interrupted by boring little humans!

“Now if you will, I’m a busy man, and I’d like t’get on wit’it.  You!”  He pointed at Mike.  “Get in.  The rest of you, I’ll have him back by supper time.  I’d like a hot tea when I return.  You do have tea here, don’t you?  Of course you do, you’re not savages.  Now, come on!” he gestured.  “Get in!  We have to go pick up your Australian friend.  And, we’re going to need to pick up that guy too.”  He pointed right at Johnny Homework on the screen.  “You sir, with the nice hair.  Suit up!”  Johnny made a “who, me?” gesture, but the Doctor wasn’t wasting time to clarify.

“C’mon, don’t you know you have a world to save?  Are you waitin’ fer a custom invitation?  Pick up your jaws and go!”

“It really is bigger on the inside,” marveled Harrison.  Ripper the Squirrel stood upon his shoulder.  The little fellow just wanted to run and run and run through the infinite catwalks and corridors of this time machine, but he was wary of the grumpy old man in the black coat.  After all, he had never seen an episode of the TV show chronicling the adventures of the legendary Doctor.

“I reckon it’s bigger in here than the stadium in Atlanta where I saw Metallica!” marveled Johnny Homework.

“I’ve dreamed of this place since I was a kid,” said Mike.

The team were in place.  Mike, Harrison, Ripper, and Johnny were the companions of Number Twelve.  The Doctor.  Who?  Just the Doctor.  A Time Lord, from Gallifrey, with a time travelling machine called the TARDIS:  Time and Relative Dimensions in Space.  An actual time machine.  The Doctor was working the controls, but seemed frustrated.

“Blast,” he exclaimed, apparently not aware that he said it aloud.

“Is everything going smooth over there Doc?” asked Johnny.

“Nae bother,” answered the Doctor.  Then he turned and gave them all a big toothy smile.  “How’d you boys like a little detour first?”

“Detour?  I thought you said we had to hurry?” asked Mike.

“Nae, nae,” answered the Doctor.  “I said I was in hurry.  This is a time machine, boy!”

“I’m 54,” answered Mike.

“And I’m 4.5 trillion years old,” said the Doctor.  “Or 1000.  Depends on who y’ask, but that’s not important.  Aaanyway, this is what’s happened.  The TARDIS, y’know, she’s a little eccentric and she blew a temporal fuse.  We’re slightly off course, so we’re goin’ te land somewhere safe until she can regrow the fuse.”

“OK, but where…or when are we?”

The Doctor did that cagey smile again.  “Well that’s the thing isn’t it?  Without the temporal fuse, ye can’t tell time, can ye?”

“I wouldn’t know,” answered Mike.  “I guess you can’t?”

“Of course you can’t my boy!”  The Doctor stepped closer in dramatic fashion, the tails of his black coat falling behind.  His angry Scottish attack eyebrows were shockingly close to the Brainiac’s face.   “So we’re going to do it the old fashioned way.  We open the door and look outside!”

A thud was felt as the TARDIS set down on ground, somewhere and somewhen.  The Doctor smiled in false confidence and sauntered to the time machine door.

Outside, they were on the edge of a cliff over a lush, green valley.  The Doctor grinned and gestured to the door.  “Told you,” he said.  “It’s Earth.  And by the smell and taste, I’d guess we’re somewhere in North America.  First century AD.  Shortly after the birth of Christ.”  He raised his finger in the air.  “Tuesday.”

His analysis was interrupted by a great roar.  A roar unlike anything these men had ever heard before.  A Time Lord though?  The Doctor was well familiar with that roar.  He smiled again, trying to project confidence.

“OK, I’m off by a few million years give or take, but I still say it is a Tuesday.  It tastes like Tuesday.”

“What is that?” cried Johnny Homework.

“That my good boy is a Tyrannosaurus rex, female if I had to guess,” answered the Doctor.

“Close the door!!” yelled Johnny Homework.

“Right,” said the Doctor.  “So, this places us exactly 69 to 66 million years ago.”

“That’s not exact,” said Mike with growing anxiety.  The Doctor ignored him.

“So listen up,” continued the Doctor.  “We just need to to wait a wee bit while the TARDIS regrows the temporal fuse.  Now, you seem like some serious music men.”  His bulging eyes looked the group up and down, one by one.  “Let’s have a jam, if any of you play.  I have some guitars…”

Johnny stood up, “Sure, I could jam, why not?  It’ll relieve the stress.”  The Doctor handed him a jagged guitar, white and black.  It resembled something that Canadian guitar journeyman Sean Kelly would have played.  Johnny admired it a moment.

Harrison sat next to the Doctor for an optimal view.  The Doctor and the Student strapped their axes on.  Then, the Doctor started.  “Key of E,” he said.  “Follow me.”

And so the Doctor and Johnny made beautiful music together, weaving blues chords over light dreamy melodies.  It was quite something to see.  Mike danced like nobody was watching, while Harrison just sat and enjoyed.  A rare smile approached his lips.

Meanwhile, while his shipmates were lost in the music, Ripper took the time to explore the TARDIS.  Of all the crew, Ripper was the only one who did not understand the existential circumstances they were in.  He heard the roar, but didn’t fear it.  He did fear and trust this strange Doctor, and was intensely curious about the green scenery he had seen through the door.  With little trepidation, Ripper decided to explore outside as well as in.

Opening the door a crack, Ripper stepped outside and sniffed the oxygen-rich air.  The sun was brilliant and high in the sky.  The moon was visible too, and larger than he remembered.  Ripper would not understand that in 66 to 69 million years from now, the moon’s orbit would drift slightly further away.  The air here was pristine, like nothing he had ever smelled before.  With tentative steps, Ripper sniffed the ground and explored the perimeter of the TARDIS.  In the distance he spied tall mountains, and even a distant roaring volcano.  There were deep valleys, rolling streams, and not a single human in sight.  It was so strange and wondrous.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ripper spied movement.  A small brown creature approached from the leaves.  It looked like a squirrel, but it was not.  Scientists of the 21st century would call it Purgatorius, the first primate.  Laymen would mistake her for a squirrel or perhaps a chipmunk, but as the first primate, inside her genes lay not just the entire future of mankind but also every ape, chimpanzee and gorilla that ever lived.  In a very real sense, this small creature now frolicking with Ripper was Eve.  Yes, Eve, to every primate yet to be born: Purgatorius Prime.

“Squee squee?” queried Ripper in curiosity.

“Squor-quor!” answered Purgatorius Prime.

Having made friends, the two ran circles around each other in playful chase.  Meanwhile, inside the TARDIS, the sound of a great jam session was reaching its apex of melodic drama.  Johnny Homework dug deep into the fretboard, bending the strings hard, while the Doctor grinned in great approval.  Ripper’s ears perked up.  He didn’t want to miss this!

“Squee squee?” invited Ripper, as he gestured inside the door.

“Squor-quor!” answered Purgatorius in agreement.  The pair ran inside, and the door shut behind them.

Johnny Homework strummed some final chords as the Doctor played an outro lick.  Mike and Harrison cheered in approval.  Ripper and Purgatorius ran into another room, unnoticed by the others, in playful excitement.

“Well done Johnny!” applauded the Doctor, removing his black sunglasses.  “We’ll make a rock star of you yet.  Now!  Let’s check on that temporal fuse.”

The Doctor walked to the center console and looked under.  “Almost half way there,” he shouted from underneath.  “We’ll be underway in an hour…maybe two.”

Harrison stood to stretch.  “Has anyone seen Ripper?” he asked.

“Not recently,” answered Mike.  “He went off to explore the TARDIS.”

“OK, good,” said a reassured Harrison.

“Hey Doctor, I have a question,” said Mike.  “If you don’t mind.  If you’ve been real this whole time, how come you never helped us in the past?  Like when we were battling the forces of Satan, or when I…” he paused.  “When I died.  Or when there are wars?  How come?”

“A fair question my boy,” answered the Doctor as he took a seat.  “And the answer is, who says I didn’t?  And, who says time isn’t unfolding exactly as it always has?”  He smiled as reassuring a smile as he could muster.  “I’m a Time Lord.  I’ve never claimed to be God.  Just a madman, with a box.  I’ve run across the universe and dimensions you cannot even picture in your most vivid of dreams.  One of the trillions of trinkets of wisdom I’ve picked up along the way is this:  Trust people to find their own way.  Humanity is a wreckless, warlike, sometimes filthy race…”  Mike looked shocked a moment, but the Doctor continued.  “…still as individuals, you continue to shine.  And that is why I have chosen Earth as my home, and not Gallifrey.  It’s certainly not the weather.  It’s the people.”  The Doctor laughed aloud.  “Have ye seen the weather in London?  You cannae see where you’re going half the time with the accursed fog six days a week.”

“I get it,” said Mike.  “Free will and all that stuff.  Humanity has lessons to learn, etcetera.”

“More than that,” smiled the Doctor.  “But so long as blood pumps through my two hearts, Earth will remain defended.”

“So we can count on you in our upcoming battle to save Earth from…”

The Doctor waved his hands and cut him off.  He grinned that grin, the prickly one you give when you’ve tired of talking.

“My boy, I think you’ve watched enough movies to know that I can’t tell you about your own future.”

Mike looked dejected, but knew when a line of questioning was at its end.  “Can’t you…can’t you just say something more reassuring?”

It was then that Harrison spoke up with his own particular Australian perspective.  He turned to Mike the Brainiac.  “I understand your pain.  We’ve all lost someone we love.  But, we do it his way.  The future may be ours.”

Mike nodded.  “That’s somewhat familiar for some reason.  OK.  I trust Harrison.  And he trusts you.  If he’s good, then I’m good too.”  Harrison nodded.  He was good.

A panel on the TARDIS beeped and the Doctor pulled his sonic screwdriver from a pocket.  He pointed it at a display, got a reading he liked, and clapped his hands.

“Right!  Everyone back to your seats, we’re off to the races again.  Setting year for…1977.  London, England.  Oxford street.”  The doctor manipulated his controls and pulled the levers.  The TARDIS groaned and disappeared in both space and time.

Where the TARDIS stood in the lush green, there was a clear, square depression in the ground.  A T. Rex roared in the distance, while a male Purgatorius nosed its way, sniffing the ground where the TARDIS had been, searching for, but not finding, his mate.  Adam had lost his Eve….

To be continued…

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE ONE – THE SQUIRREL SAGA 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE TWO – THE MULTIVERSE SAGA

THE ADVENTURES OF THE NORTHERN LIGHTS:  PHASE THREE – THE UNICRON SAGA

SPINOFFS AND SIDE QUESTS

THE COMPLETE ADVENTURES OF EDIE VAN HEELIN’

THE WRITER’S ROOM

🅻🅸🆅🅴 Top Ten HORROR FILMS with Meat and Alex

GRAB A STACK OF ROCK With Mike and the Mad Metal Man

🅻🅸🆅🅴 Episode

Episode 165: Top Ten Horror Movies

It’s been a long time since we’ve done this, but Alex and Uncle Meat are back tonight to talk horror movies.  It’s the first of two Halloween episodes we have coming!

Tonight it’s a very simple Top Ten list from all three of us.  We will have some physical product in the form of DVDs and soundtracks.  We also have a bonus list:  top ten horror favourites from Australian madman Peter Kerr!

Not much else to add, except this is guaranteed to be a fun hangout with three friends talking about scary films.  Join us live in the comments!

 

Click above for the link to our streams.

Friday Oct 23 at 7:00 PM EST, 8:00 PM Atlantic.  Enjoy on YouTube or Facebook.

🅻🅸🆅🅴 KIX: Top Ten Songs with Alex Winter

GRAB A STACK OF ROCK With Mike and the Mad Metal Man

🅻🅸🆅🅴 Episode

Episode 164: KIX: Top Ten Songs with Alex Winter, Keith Searock and David Alpizar

Alex Winter is back!  This time the Alexploitation main man is in the hosting chair.  For some of our guests, including Alex and Uncle Meat, it is their first time hosting a show.  Grab A Stack of Rock is proud to be their first.  First of many, we hope.

Alex has chosen the underappreciated KIX as his band.  You may recall that a few years ago, guest writer Holen reviewed the first five Kix studio albums right here.  Now it’s finally time to honour the Maryland quintet with their own dedicated episode of Grab A Stack of Rock.

Alex has recruited two newcomers to the show!  Keith Searock, who has joined us in the comments many times, is on the panel.  David Alpizar, whom I have worked with on Grant’s Rock Warehaus, is joining our crew for the first time.  Welcome to the cast, gentlemen!

This crew of rock veterans will count down their top ten Kix songs tonight.  Get it while it’s hot, and don’t close your eyes!  Tonight there’s gonna be a rock & roll overdose, with KIX!

 

Click above for the link to our streams.

Friday Oct 16 at 7:00 PM EST, 8:00 PM Atlantic.  Enjoy on YouTube or Facebook.

#1250: Change of a Season

RECORD STORE TALES #1250: Change of a Season

And so Summer 2026 rolls to its end.  This is our final weekend at the lake this year.  Closing time is upon us, and now it is time to reflect.

Like all summers, we must expect the unexpected.  Harrison has been out of commission since June and without my cohost and partner, I did a lot less Grab A Stack of Rock than previous years.  This time we tried something new:  guests hosts.  It gave me a break from having to run the show every Friday (and I did want it to continue running every Friday because of the momentum we built up).  I also did a few pre-recorded episodes on my phone that were unlike anything we’d done before:  Tours of both Grab A Stack HQs, and a voyage through my old Atari 2600 collection.

Food-wise, we broke new ground with our amazing French Lemonade, and the discovery of local quail eggs for sale.  This allowed us to continue our food experiments that we try to do every year.

Mostly though…I have been quiet.

I haven’t been writing much, aside from fiction.  I realize now that Jen had a two week stay in Toronto in the epilepsy ward that I haven’t written about.  It went well.  She was there for 15 days of observations, and we hope that they can learn where her seizures are coming from so they can be better targeted by drugs.  She’s done this before, so hopes are actually minimal, but it had to be done.  No sacrifice, no victory.  During those two weeks, I went to the cottage alone.  It was my first weekend alone there in over two decades.

It’s amazing I haven’t written about these things.  I haven’t written a journal in almost two months.

And so Summer 2026 was not really documented by stories and videos like I usually do.  I suppose that’s not so bad.  We lost track of all the music we played to and from the lake, and all the albums that made their debut on the porch.  However, one band made an indelible impact on Summer 2026:  Angine de Poitrine.

It was our first or second weekend back at the cottage in 2026.  It was Sunday morning, and I was bored waiting for Jen to wake up so we could pack up and go home.  I had seen this band around online, but was not interested.  “Another duo,” I said.  “Pass!”  Still, I was hearing a lot of praise, and I already liked microtones.  In my boredom, I put Live at KEXP on the TV and watched.

20 minutes later, a blown-away me watched it again.  And then one more time.

There is a mixture here between music and sport.  It’s athleticism, watching Klek and particularly Khn de Poitrine play.  Khn engages the loops while playing on two necks, and twiddling knobs with his toes.  Athleticism with melody!

I got home and started hunting for CDs.  I had to own this band’s music!  It had nothing to do with the image.  The image (black and white polka dot alien costumes with huge noses) was just visual icing.  The music itself hit me in a place I didn’t know I needed to be hit!  It was like scratching an itch I didn’t know I had.  And the songs were bizarrely catchy.  This band…they had something.  They dominated the front porch for the entire summer.  I don’t know how many times I played both albums, plus Live at KEXP from the porch.  Hopefully the neighbors thought it was the weirdest music they ever heard.

I made animations on the porch while listening to Angine.  I wrote fiction.  I just sat back and observed.

Summer 2026 is gone now, and I didn’t keep a record of it.  And I guess that is OK.

Fall and winter await, and many creative projects are ready to get us through.  I await not with dread, but with anticipation.

Allons-y.

 

 

 

🅻🅸🆅🅴 Defending KISS: Psycho-Circus with Peter Kerr and bicyclelegs

GRAB A STACK OF ROCK With Mike and the Mad Metal Man

🅻🅸🆅🅴 Episode

Episode 163: Defending KISS: Psycho-Circus with Peter Kerr and bicyclelegs

Mike is off for a couple more weeks, so this Friday, Peter Kerr of Rock Daydream Nation is taking over!

30 years ago, the original Kiss reunited for the tour of the year.  Of course, the very next question fans had was:  will you make a studio album?  Kiss dodged that for a while, before they announced their reunion album with Canadian producer, Bruce Fairbairn, who resurrected Aerosmith from the dead.  But was he the right kind of producer for Kiss?

Psycho-Circus erupted in fall of 1998 and fans were split.

Tonight, Peter Kerr and his special guest bicyclelegs will defend Psycho-Circus from all the hate.

It’s not a small task.  The album has issues including minimal Ace and Peter, glossy production, ballads, and plagiarism.  I don’t envy these two men.

At the end of the show, Peter will graciously allow me to say a few words about Harrison and the future of Grab A Stack of Rock, and 50 Years of Iron Maiden.

Tune in tonight for what may prove to be an impossible task.  Let’s see what the fellows have to say about one of the most controversial Kiss albums of all time, and that’s saying a lot!

 

Click above for the link to our streams.

Friday Oct 9 at 7:00 PM EST, 8:00 PM Atlantic.  Enjoy on YouTube or Facebook.

We got our photo in under 24 hours! Not Dead Yet: John Cleese and the Holy Grail at 50 VIP Show and Experience

We were promised our photo in 72 hours, and we got it in under 24.

What this photo doesn’t show is the gentle chit-chat with John Cleese.

He also shook my hand twice which I thought was kind.  Check out the entire experience below!

 

REVIEW

A once-in-a-lifetime experience was had on Oct 3 2026 in Kitchener, Ontatio. It was over in a flash, so I had to document it live as soon as I got home, from Not Dead Yet: John Cleese and the Holy Grail at 50.

Last Christmas, my mom said “When will I ever have the chance to meet John Cleese again?”  And so for $374.75 each, she bought three VIP tickets.  One for her, one for me, and one for Dr. K.  With hindsight I wish she also bought one for my dad.  Not only would he have loved the show, but I think he would have lost his mind meeting Mr. Cleese at the end of it.

The show began at 7:30, but we were there well early to get a couple drinks and enjoy our front row seats.  The stage was bare except for a big screen, a table, two chairs, and stuffed bunny rabbit.

First, Mr. Cleese was introduced to a standing ovation.  He graciously thanked us all for coming to watch this film that he started writing in 1974.  Then, the film began.  It was the extended version of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but I believe that they ran the wrong version of the movie.  Mr. Cleese specifically said that it was supposed to be a version that he himself edited, removing the Three Headed Knight scene.  That scene was in fact shown, as well as the “GET ON WITH IT!” bits from the extended version.  A minor slipup.

After the film, an 86 year old John Cleese returned for approximately an hour of Q&A with the audience, wearing bunny rabbit slippers.  Some questions were great, some less so, but being a total pro, Mr. Cleese’s answers were also entertaining and interesting.

The thing that surprised me the most was how much Mr. Cleese loathes the last 10 to 15 minutes of Holy Grail, which was assembled by Terry Jones and Terry Gilliam without his (and presumably the others’) input.  “It doesn’t make sense!” said Mr. Cleese multiple times.  And here is the main takeaway that we got from the John Cleese Holy Grail at 50 Q&A:  Writing is #1 for him.  Performing, comedy, commentary are all second.  He says they did 13 drafts on A Fish Called Wanda‘s script before it was good enough.  Holy Grail’s ending was not written, made no sense, and he really dislikes it.  He also dislikes the Three Headed Knight scene, and wanted it edited out.  The scene was kept because Eric Idle’s knight, Sir Robin, had nothing to do after they split up.

He discussed many projects including a new comedy on cannibalism.  He also revealed what inspired the famous Python “parrot” sketch:  a used car that Michael Palin bought and tried to return.

Mr. Cleese praised the talents of Kevin Klein, and make fun of Michael Palin’s “horribly boring” travel show multiple times.  He reserved sincere praise for his old writing partner, the late great Graham Chapman.  He was clearly a special man.  The whole show was very warm, and simply delightful.

And then we met him!

Check out the video below, recorded while still on the high of meeting John Cleese and having this wonderful experience.

REVIEW: Not Dead Yet: John Cleese and the Holy Grail at 50 VIP Show and Experience

A once-in-a-lifetime experience was had on Oct 3 2026 in Kitchener, Ontatio. It was over in a flash, so I had to document it live as soon as I got home, from Not Dead Yet: John Cleese and the Holy Grail at 50.

Last Christmas, my mom said “When will I ever have the chance to meet John Cleese again?”  And so for $374.75 each, she bought three VIP tickets.  One for her, one for me, and one for Dr. K.  With hindsight I wish she also bought one for my dad.  Not only would he have loved the show, but I think he would have lost his mind meeting Mr. Cleese at the end of it.

The show began at 7:30, but we were there well early to get a couple drinks and enjoy our front row seats.  The stage was bare except for a big screen, a table, two chairs, and stuffed bunny rabbit.

First, Mr. Cleese was introduced to a standing ovation.  He graciously thanked us all for coming to watch this film that he started writing in 1974.  Then, the film began.  It was the extended version of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but I believe that they ran the wrong version of the movie.  Mr. Cleese specifically said that it was supposed to be a version that he himself edited, removing the Three Headed Knight scene.  That scene was in fact shown, as well as the “GET ON WITH IT!” bits from the extended version.  A minor slipup.

After the film, an 86 year old John Cleese returned for approximately an hour of Q&A with the audience, wearing bunny rabbit slippers.  Some questions were great, some less so, but being a total pro, Mr. Cleese’s answers were also entertaining and interesting.

The thing that surprised me the most was how much Mr. Cleese loathes the last 10 to 15 minutes of Holy Grail, which was assembled by Terry Jones and Terry Gilliam without his (and presumably the others’) input.  “It doesn’t make sense!” said Mr. Cleese multiple times.  And here is the main takeaway that we got from the John Cleese Holy Grail at 50 Q&A:  Writing is #1 for him.  Performing, comedy, commentary are all second.  He says they did 13 drafts on A Fish Called Wanda‘s script before it was good enough.  Holy Grail’s ending was not written, made no sense, and he really dislikes it.  He also dislikes the Three Headed Knight scene, and wanted it edited out.  The scene was kept because Eric Idle’s knight, Sir Robin, had nothing to do after they split up.

He discussed many projects including a new comedy on cannibalism.  He also revealed what inspired the famous Python “parrot” sketch:  a used car that Michael Palin bought and tried to return.

Mr. Cleese praised the talents of Kevin Klein, and make fun of Michael Palin’s “horribly boring” travel show multiple times.  He reserved sincere praise for his old writing partner, the late great Graham Chapman.  He was clearly a special man.  The whole show was very warm, and simply delightful.

And then we met him!

Check out the video below, recorded while still on the high of meeting John Cleese and having this wonderful experience.

More Adventures in Epilepsy – 7:00 PM EST

GRAB A STACK OF ROCK With Mike and the Mad Metal Man

Bonus Episode:  More Adventures in Epilepsy

Wish Jen luck everybody!  She’s in Toronto for a two week stay as they study her brain, to figure out where those seizures are coming from.  She doing well, and tonight we have a special bonus episode to talk about our Adventures in Epilepsy.

This isn’t the first time:  Exactly six years ago today, we did our first Adventures in Epilepsy episode with guests.  That episode was prompted by a bad fall where she broke her arm.  Tonight’s mini-episode is inspired by her hospital stay.  It’s not easy having all those electrodes and sensors glued to your head!  Tonight we’ll catch you up on all this and more.

Not to be a downer episode, we end it with lists of famous people who suffered from seizures.  You’ll be surprised at some!

Check it out tonight, on Grab A Stack of Rock.

Click above for the link to our streams.

Friday Oct 2 at 7:00 PM EST, 8:00 PM Atlantic.  Enjoy on YouTube.

 

 

 

The Northern Lights & Star Trek: The Next Generation: A Northern Lights Multiverse Adventure [Original 1993 – NO AI]

Earth 1701.

MAD DOG MIKE WILL RETURN IN THE MULTIVERSE SAGA…

Harrison and Mike have always prided ourselves in our “NO AI!” stance when it comes to our art.  (Not just visual of course, but also the written word.)  Much like Queen with their “Nobody played synthesizer,” we have caved – partially – on AI usage in the Northern Lights series.

Harrison and Mike wanted to begin including multiversal variants of ourselves in the Northern Lights based on the concept of us being crew members on one of the Enterprises.  This reminded me that in 1993, I drew a comic of me as a shuttlecraft pilot.  It would fit seamlessly into the Northern Lights multiverse with little alteration – just some changes to the front cover to give it a Northern Lights comic header.  But damn, was it ugly when I scanned it.  Blue ink on lined paper, bleeding through to the other side.

“Could you clean it up and colour it, Harrison?”

“I could but it would take a lot of time.”

“Well, we’re trying to reduce your workload, not increase it.  I hate to say it, but I’m going to ask AI to clean it up and colour it.”

Which is what I did.  I went to…(I can’t believe I’m admitting all this, but I always to my best to be transparent with my work)…I went to Chat GPT and entered this instruction.

“I drew this comic based on Star Trek.  Please clean it up and colour it.”

That sent me down a rabbit hole.  I did not keep track of how many revisions I had to tell it to make in order to get something presentable.  I learned quickly that AI cannot make simple changes to your image without redrawing it completely, and this means something that looked OK on the last revision looks wrong now.  But let’s start with what I got when I told AI to clean it up and colour it in.

I got:  A female me in one panel, constantly changing uniform colours, Geordi’s skin tone being inconsistent from panel to panel, and a continuous lack of understanding of what Geordi’s visor actually was.  AI had multiple visors in most panels, and I had to settle for what I was getting.  In the end, I used Microsoft Paint to cut and past the best renditions into one panel, because AI kept changing my face and making me more conventional.  See image below:

Then we moved onto the cover image, which AI never got right and I had to give up and finish it manually.  I asked it to clean up the cover image, and colour it similarly to the last one.  I also asked it to remember that my character was the same person as the prior image, so it wouldn’t make me female again.  (I was hot.)  The AI got it more or less right, and then I wanted to make selective changes here and there.  Only I couldn’t.  The straw that broke the camel’s back was that AI could not change the title box on the left without changing everything else.  You can see the image below is what I was left with when I gave up.  All I wanted to do was change the title box on the top left!  It cannot do that.  It continually changed the shape of the Enterprise, the face of the alien, and my face as well, going further and further away from my original on every attempt.  A huge fail for AI.  The alien in particular got creepier and more vampire-like on some revisions.

It’s also worth noting that AI took many liberties in cleaning and colouring my image.  It knew to darken the background and make the stars white.  It added more stars, and two planets that I did not ask for.  It removed panel lines that I wanted on the alien’s UFO.  It changed my face quite a bit, and I had to continually tell it to make the face look more like my original sketch.  The text was formatted by the AI to look more like a comic, but I liked it and it wasn’t worth customizing.  I had reached the point where AI couldn’t get closer to what I wanted without ruining everything we had already got.   Diminishing returns.

Then, I went in for a second round of edits, to further hone in on what I wanted.  In the end I finally got close enough for rock and roll.

In a perfect world, I would have preferred to have Harrison clean up and colour the originals manually, but that wasn’t feasible.  To see what AI made, click here.  Thank you for your understanding or scorn, whichever it may be.

Mike 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE ONE – THE SQUIRREL SAGA 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE TWO – THE MULTIVERSE SAGA

THE ADVENTURES OF THE NORTHERN LIGHTS:  PHASE THREE – THE UNICRON SAGA

 

 

SPINOFFS AND SIDE QUESTS

 

THE COMPLETE ADVENTURES OF EDIE VAN HEELIN’

THE WRITER’S ROOM

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Northern Lights & Star Trek: The Next Generation: A Northern Lights Multiverse Adventure [AI ENHANCED]

Earth 1701.  [For the original AI-free version of this comic, click here.  For an explanation to “why AI?”, scroll to the bottom]

 

 

 

 

MAD DOG MIKE WILL RETURN IN THE MULTIVERSE SAGA…

Harrison and Mike have always prided ourselves in our “NO AI!” stance when it comes to our art.  (Not just visual of course, but also the written word.)  Much like Queen with their “Nobody played synthesizer,” we have caved – partially – on AI usage in the Northern Lights series.

Harrison and Mike wanted to begin including multiversal variants of ourselves in the Northern Lights based on the concept of us being crew members on one of the Enterprises.  This reminded me that in 1993, I drew a comic of me as a shuttlecraft pilot.  It would fit seamlessly into the Northern Lights multiverse with little alteration – just some changes to the front cover to give it a Northern Lights comic header.  But damn, was it ugly when I scanned it.  Blue ink on lined paper, bleeding through to the other side.

“Could you clean it up and colour it, Harrison?”

“I could but it would take a lot of time.”

“Well, we’re trying to reduce your workload, not increase it.  I hate to say it, but I’m going to ask AI to clean it up and colour it.”

Which is what I did.  I went to…(I can’t believe I’m admitting all this, but I always to my best to be transparent with my work)…I went to Chat GPT and entered this instruction.

“I drew this comic based on Star Trek.  Please clean it up and colour it.”

That sent me down a rabbit hole.  I did not keep track of how many revisions I had to tell it to make in order to get something presentable.  I learned quickly that AI cannot make simple changes to your image without redrawing it completely, and this means something that looked OK on the last revision looks wrong now.  But let’s start with what I got when I told AI to clean it up and colour it in.

I got:  A female me in one panel, constantly changing uniform colours, Geordi’s skin tone being inconsistent from panel to panel, and a continuous lack of understanding of what Geordi’s visor actually was.  AI had multiple visors in most panels, and I had to settle for what I was getting.  In the end, I used Microsoft Paint to cut and past the best renditions into one panel, because AI kept changing my face and making me more conventional.  See image below:

Then we moved onto the cover image, which AI never got right and I had to give up and finish it manually.  I asked it to clean up the cover image, and colour it similarly to the last one.  I also asked it to remember that my character was the same person as the prior image, so it wouldn’t make me female again.  (I was hot.)  The AI got it more or less right, and then I wanted to make selective changes here and there.  Only I couldn’t.  The straw that broke the camel’s back was that AI could not change the title box on the left without changing everything else.  You can see the image below is what I was left with when I gave up.  All I wanted to do was change the title box on the top left!  It cannot do that.  It continually changed the shape of the Enterprise, the face of the alien, and my face as well, going further and further away from my original on every attempt.  A huge fail for AI.  The alien in particular got creepier and more vampire-like on some revisions.

It’s also worth noting that AI took many liberties in cleaning and colouring my image.  It knew to darken the background and make the stars white.  It added more stars, and two planets that I did not ask for.  It removed panel lines that I wanted on the alien’s UFO.  It changed my face quite a bit, and I had to continually tell it to make the face look more like my original sketch.  The text was formatted by the AI to look more like a comic, but I liked it and it wasn’t worth customizing.  I had reached the point where AI couldn’t get closer to what I wanted without ruining everything we had already got.   Diminishing returns.

Then, I went in for a second round of edits, to further hone in on what I wanted.  In the end I finally got close enough for rock and roll.

In a perfect world, I would have preferred to have Harrison clean up and colour the originals manually, but that wasn’t feasible.  In the end, I do feel a weird sense of satisfaction, seeing a close approximation of my 1993 cartoon, coloured and cleaned.  Thank you for your understanding or scorn, whichever it may be.

To see the original, non-AI version of this comic, please click here.

 

Mike 

 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE ONE – THE SQUIRREL SAGA 

THE ADVENTURES OF TEE BONE MAN:  PHASE TWO – THE MULTIVERSE SAGA

THE ADVENTURES OF THE NORTHERN LIGHTS:  PHASE THREE – THE UNICRON SAGA

 

 

SPINOFFS AND SIDE QUESTS

 

THE COMPLETE ADVENTURES OF EDIE VAN HEELIN’

THE WRITER’S ROOM