RECORD STORE TALES #1241:  Time To Talk

For the first time in…well, perhaps ever…I have been unable to write about my life.  This entire site started because I wanted to write about my life…and I have been paralyzed, frozen, unable to put fingers to keys and just pound out some words.

Even when Jen had cancer…even when her mum was dying…I was still able to write some words.  I might have taken breaks, but I was still documenting and logging my thoughts and feelings.  These days, I haven’t been able.  Ever since December 2025, I’ve been clamming up and keeping things private.  The reasons for this are multiple, so let’s see if we can’t crack this open and talk about life changes.

It would be a lie to suggest that the political changes of the last two years have not affected me and my life.  I have spent many nights in existential dread mode.  (Check out Kumail Nanjiani’s comedy special Night Thoughts for some humour on this subject.)  It’s not just wondering about the end of the world, but also the real-world impact of tariffs on my job.  Times are hard everywhere, and now with gas going up, summer just got a lot more expensive.

Summer means we made it through winter!  It was an uneventful winter here, except for a couple major upheavals that we’ll get to momentarily.  Winter used to be my nemesis, my Kryptonite.  It used to be the element that could be counted on to bring spirits down and destroy hope.  Winter 2025-26 was nothing.  At least as far as seasonal affective disorder goes.

What has become more difficult is that Jen’s seizures have become more severe and frequent as of late.  We saw the neurologist and there’s nothing more he can prescribe.  We’ve been through every medication there is.  In 20 years of dealing with this bullshit disease, we’ve never hit a point where there was no hope left.  We have to live with it.  There are no options available.  Oh sure, they’re talking about sending her back to Toronto again for weeks and weeks of observation.  That didn’t do anything last time.  I guess it’s something.  We’ll be separated for that time, while she is stuck in observation and I toil away at home.

That is where we get to the biggest change, one which I have been reluctant to speak about.  Work changes are scary, and due to a variety of reasons, I no longer have an office to work out of.  The physical building in which I worked for 19 years was sold, and eventually came the decision that we’d been semi-expecting for years:  the office was closing.  This was the biggest life change I’ve experienced since getting married in 2008.  Working from home!  I’d done it on a tiny laptop before, but now I had to set up my own home office.  This all coincided with my unfortunate accidental dumpster dive, and subsequent injury.   This only added to my stress, as I had a timeline for moving into a home office that I wanted to adhere to.   Everyone had to help with the office closure, but my rib injury made my participation extremely painful.  This news was not what the others wanted to hear, (as was made clear to me) but I did my part, probably setting back my healing timeline by a couple weeks.  I bought a desk; one of those fancy electric ones that raise and lower, which helped me deal with the rib pain by changing positions when uncomfortable.  I set up a home office.  It is small.  It is cozy.  It is all mine and I am surrounded by my things, and all the toys and music that makes me happy.  I settled in quickly and fell in love with my home office.

I don’t want to jinx it.  I don’t think everything lasts forever, so I am going to enjoy the home office to my fullest extent while I can.

I make my own home cooked meals for lunch.  I go out to the convenience store on my breaks.  I have lunch with my mom and dad once a week.  I don’t have to drive anywhere.  I saved a ton on gas.  I have only fueled up four times in 2026, and it’s mid-April.

The difficulty here was probably more on Jen’s side.  She was used to having the house to herself almost every day.  Now she has me to deal with, but she’s made the adjustment and has a healthy schedule of getting out daily.

I don’t want to talk about working from home and further than that.  It has been a privilege and I feel like if everyone knew how comfortable, how efficient, and how great I feel working from home, it’ll all go away.  So enough of that.

I have continued to buy new music, but have not felt motivated to write about it very much.  I’ve gone through periods like this before, and now I understand that it’s just a phase.  It doesn’t mean I’m all done or won’t be able to come back from this.  I used to think that.  Experience has taught me that these creative waves can end, but return when the time is right.  It’s still cold, it’s still dark, but spring is here and that always changes my creative life.  Soon it will be time to charge up the drone, and fire up the barbecue at the cottage.  Summer at the cottage always offers its own creative opportunities, and is the best setting for listening to new music.  Perhaps this summer, it was be the Van Halen 5150 anniversary box set.  Live Without A Net on the front porch in the sun?  Sounds great to me.

One of the most unusual things about this past winter was that it was my first winter in 52 years without my Grandma.  Even as she grew older and weakened, we still tried to go and see her every other weekend.  That part of our routine was gone, and it was strange for a while.  There were times when I thought I’d pick up the phone and tell her something.  One thing Grandma used to love was when we’d come over and show her my drone videos.  She loved seeing what the cottages looked like from the air.  This spring, when I take my new drone up in the sky, I wish Grandma could see my videos.

Spring and summer always offer surprises.  I never know what my next creative project will be, but something always comes up.

Let’s find out.

Let’s keep going.  Onwards.  Allons-y!