#801: Dinking Your Records

GETTING MORE TALE #801: Dinking Your Records

Let’s say you have a stack of new and old 45 rpm singles to play, but only an old Wurlitzer jukebox to play them in.  You might run into some problems if you don’t have the right records.  You know how some singles have the large holes and some do not?

Back in the 1940s, RCA were 100% behind their new 45 rpm record format.  They had a system where you had a stack of up to 10 records on a thick spindle.  One would automatically drop as the previous record finished.  When all 10 songs had played, you just flip the entire stack over and play the other sides.  That’s why singles have an upraised ridge around the center; so their playing surfaces never touch when stacked.  The larger spindle size made for tougher, longer lasting records and players since that auto-changing could be pretty rough on the 45s!  Through trial and error, RCA learned that the smaller standard holes would eventually deform if their mechanism were to use it.

The two hole sizes on records today are the remnants of an ancient format war.  The now standard small spindle won out, but many jukeboxes still used the larger spindle.  So what happens if you have a jukebox but not the right kind of record?  You dink ’em!

I’m not talking dirty here.  The term for cutting out a larger hole in your singles is called “dinking”.  We won’t speculate why.

If you need to dink a large number of records, or if you simply need it done right, there are actually record dinking services out there.  You send them your records, and they will use proper machinery to cut the holes perfectly.  If you’re braver, you can try dinking your records at home.  You can buy a couple different devices to do this.  One looks like your old school compass.  You simply etch a new hole by cutting around and round.  The other is a little device that you attach to the center of your record and tighten, and tighten, and tighten until it cuts through.

Neither device is perfect and both require you to do some serious handling of your precious vinyl.  It also requires practice to get the hole just right.  If it’s a little off-center, you’ll notice when you play it.

Watch the informative video below by Youtuber Mat aka Techmoan. Notice that he purchased a stack of worthless records from Ebay to pull this stunt. (New Kids on the Blech!)  Is this something you’d be willing to try yourself?

Granted, the number of working vintage Wurlitzer jukeboxes out there is dwindling, but if you had one, I’m sure you’d be well familiar with dinking services at this point!

Most record collectors doubtlessly have singles with both size holes.  We’ve been putting those little plastic “spiders” or spacers in the middle without thinking too hard about it.  Sure beats dinking around doesn’t it?

Sunday Chuckle: Rick Likes Pancakes

If you’re a fan of Rick and Morty, then you know Rick Sanchez likes pancakes.  I appreciate that, in a recent episode, Rick is seen using Canadian maple syrup, so I thought I’d share that with you.

Some pancakes wisdom from Rick Sanchez:

“Now if you don’t mind, I have pancakes waiting for me at home; they’re about to reach that critical syrup absorption point that turns the pancake into a sticky paste.”

He’s 100% right!  There is a critical window that pancakes must be consumed in.  Rick knows!

 

REVIEW: Marillion – Baubles – Christmas 2004

MARILLION – Baubles – Christmas 2004 (2004 Racket Records)

And now we have arrived at the worst Marillion “Christmas” album. There had to be one, didn’t there? Unusually for a Christmas CD, this one contains almost zero seasonal content. Which, you know, that’s no so bad in and of itself. Unfortunately, the 2004 Christmas CD is all remixes.

Marbles-era Marillion went a little remix-happy.  They had singles remixes.  They had a fanmade remix album (Remixomatosis) with a bonus CD of also-rans.  They had a 12″ promo single under the band name “Remixomatosis” with even more remixes.    And for the diehards who had a fanclub subscription, the annual holiday album was choked with nine more of these fanmade remixes.

The only Christmas content is the usual “Christmas Message”…which is, due to the unavailability of the band, just a remix of previously recorded Christmas messages.  Amusing?  Yes.  Disappointing?  Indeed.

The liner notes explain that Marillion received over 500 remixes from fans, and Remixomatosis represented the winners as voted for from the band.  Baubles, then, are the best of the rest.  It starts well enough, with the “Ordnance Survey Mix” of the excellent song “Map of the World”.  This one is decent because it doesn’t just mix in more drum loops, but oodles and oodles of string arrangements.  It’s “Map of the World” reimagined for strings, but unfortunately suffocating some of the regal vocal melodies in exchange.

Next is the “Demystified Mix” of “This is the 21st Century”, which begins by reducing everything to basic piano and percussion, and then adds the bass and accoutrements.  The chorus has a strange floaty quality.  Then the “2.5 Hearts in the Groove Mix” of “Fruit of the Wild Rose” is like coming down into the mud.  Very little of the original song remains, drowned by lofty beats and bass.  The funky chorus is good but the rest loses the plot too much.

“Number One” is a cool song for remixing, and this one is interesting.  Fast synth and beats turn it into something new, a pounding dark dance number.  They call it the “Whatever Mix” but it’s better than the name suggests.  It blends seamless into the “No Monsters Remix” of “If My Heart Were A Ball It Would Roll Uphill”, which doesn’t leave much of the original song intact.  I would have called it the “Boring Disco Remix”.  Moving on, “When I Meet God” is still recognizable in form of its “Ontological Mix”, with changes made to the guitar and drums.  It’s a good alternate mix to the original.

The “Latino Freak Mix” of “Separated Out” is surprising.  Taking the heaviest song on the album and making it into a mambo?  OK, I’ll give you points for that.  It’s not my cup ‘o hot chocolate, but to each their own.  The normally wonderful single “Between You and Me” is put into a laid back snooze on the “Martini Mix”, a failed (if jazz) experiment.  Finally the CD gratefully closes on the “Hard Time Mix” of “Quartz.  That aptly describes how it feels listening to this whole CD front to back.

1.5/5 stars

REVIEW: Marillion – Say Cheese! Christmas With Marillion (2003)

MARILLION Say Cheese! Christmas With Marillion (2003 Racket Records)

The 2003 edition of the annual Marillion Christmas CD featured a front cover picturing the guys lounging in their pajamas, lazily smoking pipes.  These discs are usually pretty loose assemblies of song, and it looks like Rothery is already into the wine.

The annual Christmas message is first; this time they just want to wish you a lovely Christmas and a happy, happy New Year.  Onto the music!  “Stop the Cavalry” is considered a Christmas song in the UK, and Marillion’s is hastily assembled with keyboard samples covering most of the instruments.  There are plenty of jingle bells to keep things seasonal-sounding.

“Seasons End” begins with “O Come O Come Emmanuel” as if often does, morphing it into an original seasonal song.  This live version comes from a 2002 Christmas tour, as released on a DVD called Christmas in the Chapel.  It was never released on CD, so this is the only physical CD you can get with any of it.  Expect the usual mindblowing weightiness.  From the same show, they also perform the carol “Gabriel’s Message”, dark and gothic.  “Stille Nacht” (“Silent Night”) is a capella from a German Christmas show, and it is beautiful.  Finally Marillion and the Racket Records folks have their way with “The 12 Days of Christmas”, modifying the words for their own needs.  As usual, the song wears thin fast.

There’s non-seasonal material too, which is often the case.  “I’m the Urban Spaceman” (The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band cover) is a Steve Hogath home demo, dating back to ’96.  This rarity is originally from a Hogarth solo EP, a neat curiosity.

“Neverland” was brand new; the Marbles album was still fresh and this would have been some of the first live material available from it.  It’s a full-on 10 minute epic, performed with professional passion.

These Marillion Christmas albums usually have one seasonal song and then a bunch of rarities.  In 2003 at least they included a few extra seasonal tunes and carols to make it feel like you’re actually listening to a Christmas CD.  These being fan club discs, it’s hard being too critical.  This one was fun, with only “The 12 Days of Christmas” to annoy you.

3.5/5 Christmas stars

REVIEW: Marillion – marillion.christmas (1999)

MARILLION – marillion.christmas (1999 Racket Records)

The second Marillion Christmas CD was sent out the year of marillion.com, a pretty good if misunderstood experimental studio album.  Marillion began to incorporate elements such as dub and loops.  They were also getting the hang of this special fanclub Christmas CD idea.  Where the first was a mixed bag, the second is one of the their best.

Opening with a hauntingly beautiful “Gabriel’s Message”, the mood is set.  Steve Hogarth’s enviable golden pipes are front and center.  Heavier instrumentation begins to ebb and flow halfway through, and a cool carol is ended.  If you think Trans-Siberian Orchestra is cool, you’re going to love this.  It’s better.

Let the rarities commence, with the single edit of “The Answering Machine” from Radiation, unavailable on commercial CD.  Still an enjoyable song, with its cacophony of noise and keyboards lending it a unique progressive flavour.  The next two songs are real treats.  “Interior Lulu” and “Tumble Down the Years” were both recorded for Radiation, but held back for marillion.com because they didn’t quite fit.  For the first time, the Radiation mixes are included here.  (Not for the last time, as Marillion soon issued extensive “making of” albums for their later catalogue.)  If Radiation had included them, it would have been a far more mellow album.  Both tracks are quite different from the final versions.  “Tumble Down the Years” has a more rock and roll vibe.

Up next, a “Technopop Remix” of “Memory of Water”, a runner up for the “Big Beat Mix” that went out for CD singles and bonus tracks.  It’s not as iconic, and never really sounds like Marillion the way the “Big Beat Mix” does, and it’s far too long (10:02).  There are then three acoustic tracks:  “Abraham, Martin and John”, “Runaway” and “Estonia” originally done for a cancelled French EP.  You can find acoustic versions from this period on the album Live From the Walls, but these ones sound properly recorded in a studio.  “Abraham, Martin and John” is so good it will bring tears to your eyes.  An absolute treasure.

Hey remember on the 1998 CD, when Marillion included some instrumental “Karaoke” versions for a contest?  One of the winners is on this CD, the Cradley Primary School’s lovely version of “Beautiful” (the Dave Meegan mix).  They must have had some cool teachers at that primary school!  It’s pretty cool hearing the kids singing those words.

Heaven only knows that we live in a world,
Where what we call beautiful is just something on sale.
People laughing behind their hands,
While the fragile and the sensitive are given no chance.

Finally, the annual Christmas message from the band is placed at the end of the CD instead of the start.  They’re not as goofy (or drunk) on this instalment, as they run through the tracks and wish us all a Happy Christmas.  Thanks, guys!

4/5 stars

 

 

REVIEW: Marillion & the Web Christmas 1998 – Happy Christmas Everybody!

MARILLION – & the Web Christmas 1998 – Happy Christmas Everybody! (1998 Racket Records)

Marillion have always been a fan-friendly band, offering up special rarities for the most dedicated.  In 1998, fan club members received the very first Marillion Christmas CD.  It’s one of the least satisfying of what turned out to be a long-running proposition, but since it was the first, we’ll let it slide.  At just 30 minutes, Happy Christmas Everybody is also the shortest.  Most of the music consists of “Karaoke mixes” for a contest they were running.  Record your own vocals, send it in, and win!

The first-ever “Christmas Message” track from Marillion explains the origin of the CD, as the guys crack up themselves in the background.  This is mixed into “The Christmas Song”, a festive version of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” by Marillion.  (A standalone song would have been better.)

Exciting at the time, the next tracks are excerpts from the next Marillion album, marillion.com.  Hey, it was 1998, what are you going to do?  Jethro Tull had an album called J-tull.com.  Regardless of the title, this CD had sneak previews of “Interior Lulu” (two snippets) and “Tumble Down the Years” from the next album.  The mixes are not the final ones from the album, which is interesting to fans, but they’re so damn short.  They’re also samples of very mellow sections of songs, which may (or may not) have given false impressions of the new album.

The four Karaoke mixes are all but full length, with one done by Marillion producer Dave Meegan himself.  The instructions are so quaint.  “We’re inviting you all to make tapes!”  Tapes!  Just mail them in!  It’s a little odd to hear landmark pop rockers like “Cover My Eyes” without the massive hook of the lead vocals!  All you get for vocals are some backing tracks on the chorus.  Fabulous drums on that track, by the way Mr. Mosley.  “No One Can” is cool because you can hear the backup instrumentation a lot more without the syrupy singing.  “Beautiful” is the one by Dave Meegan, and as such it’s the most listenable.  He mixed in new elements, making it more like an interesting instrumental arrangement.  The more recent “These Chains” is probably the least appealing of the Karaoke songs due to its minimalist approach.

We’ll cut Marillion some slack.  It was the early days, their first Christmas CD, and the exclusive mixes are appreciated even if the album previews are not.  There aren’t any really usable Christmas songs on this album, a problem they’d fix next time out.

2/5 stars

 

#800: It’s Beginning to Look Like Marillion Christmas

GETTING MORE TALE #800:
It’s Beginning to Look Like Marillion Christmas

Immediate apologies to probably a large percentage of readers.  There are two kinds of people:  those who like Christmas music, and those who do not.  Those in the “not” category will probably be dropping in droves this December, as I announce the latest review series here at mikeladano.com.

It’s an interesting matter of fact, but Marillion have a total 15 Christmas themed albums.  That’s an incredibly large number!  Most were only available (for free) to fans of the Marillion Web fan club.  Over the last few Christmases, I’ve reviewed a number of them (linked below).  In 2019, I finally acquired the only two I had been missing.  I didn’t get into Marillion early enough to get the first two, but I was on board by the third.  Now, two decades later, I decided to bite the bullet and pay Discogs prices, which were not all that bad ($30 US each).  And now I have them all!

For a short while, Marillion switched from releasing Christmas albums to Christmas DVDs, which I do not collect.  In 2014, CDs resumed for a short additional run.

  • Chile for the Time of Year (2014 – Webfree 17)
  • A Collection of Recycled Gifts (2014 – Compilation with new Christmas material)
  • Christmas Tour 2014 – Live at the Forum (2014 Abbey Road “instant live”)
  • A Monstrously Festive(al) Christmas (2015 – Webfree 18)

Now that I actually have them all, I’d like to get them all reviewed too.  After all, I can really only do that kind of thing once a year — in December.  Starting with Webfree 1, I’m going to work my way down the list.  And if this doesn’t interest you at all, that’s cool.  I get it.  That’s the thing about personal projects.  This is more about me than you, I’m afraid.  But there’s plenty of reason for you to stick around, too.  Many of these Marillion “Christmas” albums have minimal Christmas content.  Chile for the Time of Year? That’s just, flat-out, a double live album.  It was recorded in May!  It boasts some of Marillion’s best known songs (“Kayleigh”, “Easter”, “Cover My Eyes”), and also a number of key later progressive epics (“Gaza”, “Ocean Cloud”, “Neverland”).  If it were not one of their annual Christmas fanclub freebies, it would fit in any other time.

If you’re a diehard, or just remotely curious about Marillion, I’ve done my best to write for both of you.  These CDs are going to expose to you to variety of Marillion songs.  Hits, deep cuts, and stuff you never heard of before.  And you won’t find a series this detailed anywhere else.

As I buckle in for what looks to be a chilly season, I wish you all the very Merriest of Christmases.  It matters not if you celebrate it.  As the world pauses together this season, I hope you have nothing but warmth and happiness in your life.  Perhaps a hot drinky-poo or a pipe by the fire is all you desire.  Might I recommend a Marillion Christmas to nail the vibe just right?

Sunday Chuckle: In Your Obit

 

Blade Runner radio, tonight!

edit: I cannot attend this show due to illness.

 

LIVE at 12:00 AM (ET) Saturday morning!  It’s Robert Daniels and Jason Drury on VISIONS IN SOUND with music from BLADE RUNNER!  Tune in on your dial to 98.5 or internet to CKWR.  You folks in the UK can tune in as you enjoy some morning java!

As to my own involvement, I’ve come down with a mystery cold-like illness.  Whether I can make it to the station or not remains a question mark at this point in time.  I’d certainly like to.  Even if I’m “well enough” to go, I can’t risk passing this on to anyone else.  But you should still listen, if I’m there or not!  Rob and Jason always do an entertaining show with great music.

I’d love to share my own stories of this movie.  Seeing the comic book in a convenience store.  Thinking the title was cool if ambiguous.  But wishing Harrison Ford would get back to playing Han Solo or Indiana Jones already!  (As kids, we really did think it was that simple.)  I didn’t see the movie for many years later, when it was showing on one of the new pay TV channels.  Family friends the Lazbys were over, and it didn’t make sense to anybody!  The thing I remember the most about that viewing was the guy selling eyeballs.  I think that’s the moment all of us pretty much gave up trying to enjoy it.

But times and perspectives change.

Blade Runner’s visual impact came later.  The first and most obvious example was Iron Maiden’s Somewhere In Time album.  The front and back cover art are smorgasbords of Blade Runner visuals.  Numerous films have attempted to rip off Ridley Scott’s remarkable cityscapes, notably George Lucas in Attack of the Clones.

Listen in THIS Saturday 12:00-2:00am (ET).

REVIEW: Ghost – “Kiss the Go-Goat” (2019 single)

GHOST – “Kiss the Go-Goat” (2019 Loma Vista 7″ single)

Ghost began as a gothic, Satanic metal experiment.  They grew to include more pop and more humour, and while it hasn’t all been good, most of it has.  In 2019, Papa Nihil and his merry band of Nameless Ghouls have returned with the kitschy single “Kiss the Go-Goat” / “Mary on a Cross”.  It’s not much of a departure from their last album, the excellent Prequelle.

Look at the subtitle on the A-side of the label.  “The long-lost remastered 1969 single.”  That Ghost humour again.

“Kiss the Go-Goat” has a driving organ/guitar riff that is the kind of stuff recent Ghost glory has been based on.  The corny chorus of “Satan, Lucifer…” is far removed from the old orthodox days of “Satan Prayer” and ante-nicean creeds.  But it rocks, solidly and without embarrassment.  A track this good could easily have been on Prequelle.  “Mary on a Cross” doesn’t have the same impact, but is not an also-ran.  It’s a little darker but the recurring organ part is perfectly piquant.

If not for the worrisome possibility (probability?) that these two songs will show up on some kind of future deluxe edition, this single would be an absolute must for all boys & girls, far & wide.  In fact, it has shown up on a very very expensive edition of called Prequelle Exalted, in a disc called Seven Inches of Satanic Panic.  Unless you plan on spending that kind of dough, maybe buying this single is a good option after all.

4/5 stars