#332: Getting Older Everyday

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RECORD STORE TALES Mk II: Getting More Tale
#332:  Getting Older Everyday

I’ve been lucky enough to marry a simply awesome lady.  Jen is a remarkable human being, but she also has one additional gift: the gift of looking perpetually young.  She still sometimes gets carded, mistaken for a student, and so on.

Meanwhile here I am: Captain Grey Beard.  I still look pretty young when I’m clean shaven.  When I have a beard, forget about it!  My beard started greying a year or two after marriage.  I don’t think the two events are connected…but you never know.

Now, things are so bad that I have twice been mistaken for Jen’s father.

The first time it happened, we were at the Keg.  It was Jen, her mom, and myself.  The server handed Jen a hot plate without enough warning and she burned her hand slightly.  While she and her mom went to the washroom to run some cold water on her hand, the manager came out to apologize.  He said to me, “I’m so sorry about what happened to your daughter.”

My daughter!  Oh man.  That was a shitty meal, I’m sorry Keg, but you blew that one!  None of us were in a good mood after that.

The second time it happened, Jen was meeting me at work.  She walked in as our shipping supervisor was heading out the door.  He’s a nice guy, about my age.  The following day, he asked me, “So who was the young lady that you were meeting here yesterday?  Was that your daughter?”

I didn’t stab him in the eye with a pencil.

And then, this past summer, something similar (and weird) happened.

Jen and I were out for a nice evening stroll.  There were some kids playing near the park by our place.  They were younger kids, none of them would have been older than about 10.  As we walked past, I heard one kid yell the following:

“LOOK!  That lady and that old man peed their pants!”

I looked around.  There was nobody else on the street!  They were referring to us, and I assure you that we had NOT peed our pants!  I don’t know where that came from, but it was probably the first time I’d been referred to as “old man”!

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34 comments

  1. Bwahaha! I’m still carded at the beer store every once in a blue moon. I feel fabulous afterwards, and the guy is just shocked to see what year I was born. “Seriously, dude. You think I look 25??” “Well, I just couldn’t tell…”
    But, I’m part of the grey hair ol’bag club. Yup, card carrying member. I get my hair did to disguise it. If it weren’t for that, I would be TOTALLY salt and pepper, and I am NOT ready for that. Been that way since I turned 30 (thanks genetics!). Call it vanity, fine.

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    1. Luckily I haven’t had to dye my head hair yet…I think if I don’t like the way it looks I’ll just shave it all off again. It’s my beard that bugs me. I like having it, but it’s coming in white. And forget about Just For Men!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You forgot to mention being out to dinner with Luigi and he was shocked to hear your age. He and his wife both thought you were MUCH younger!!!!
    Does that make you feel better?

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  3. Haha. I feel your pain dude. My wife looks very youthful as well. She says customers always treat her like a part-time student. I started going grey in my 30’s. Mostly facial hair, so I don’t rock a goat, or beard anymore. I want to do this Movember stuff again but I hate the grey, so I just donate to some other team. I have to go now and tell some kids to “Get off my lawn”, and I’m in the middle of binge-watching Matlock.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha Scott wins the comments today!!

      Tell me Scott, are you still wallowing in baths or have you managed to hook up a shower portion?I can see congealing blood getting caught in the sprayers being an issue, so I just wondered if you;d found a work-around yet.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Wow, 10 years! You’re the cradle robber!

      I once dated a girl who was 10 years younger…well maybe I did that twice. Either way both times it wasn’t a good idea for me. And I’m just an immature child to start with, so there you go!

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  4. My lovely wife is 6 months older than me, so for those 6 months I tease her about robbing the cradle. She just rolls her eyes at me. She does that a lot anyway. ;)

    My hair started falling out when I was 18 or 19, so I’ve now been bald longer than I had hair. I couldn’t care less. I remember hair being a hassle, so now I just shave it off and be done with it. I don’t think anyone ever mistook me for being young. As for aging, meh. Ain’t bothering me none.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, Rich, I never would have thought you looked old enough to be in Nam. That guy must have been REALLY drunk!

      I think a bald pate gives people an ageless look to a certain degree. Not that we’re comparing but I think you and Aaron pull it off.

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      1. I like to think that the guy was very drunk. I may not have looked my best but I don’t think I looked like I was in my 40s. I’ve been shaving my head since ’94, so I’ve had pretty much the same look for 20 years, other than some facial hair that I’ve avoided for the last 10 years. At this point I wouldn’t grow hair if I could. This look is too easy.

        Stay young, my friend…

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  5. Mike – sorry brother but it’s only gong to get worse. I went to an art museum in Tucson and the admissions guy rang up one adult / one senior. I was going to say something but the discount was pretty good! 😃

    Liked by 1 person

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