GETTING MORE TALE #441: Help Wanted!
Back in the Record Store Days, hiring seemed to go in waves, with the students. Periodically we’d lose some of our best people as they moved on to further their educations. We’d go on hiring binges, looking for 3-4 good solid new people. This was done by putting out ads.
Paraphrasing our old print ads, we would advertise that we were looking for the following:
- Hours: 15 hours a week, evenings & weekends. Looking for long-term commitment, not a seasonal position. Duties include buying and selling of used CDs. Retail experience is helpful but not required. Superior musical knowledge a plus. Apply in person only.
Then we would have set hours for them to apply (usually between 2 and 7), during which I (and other managers) would be working. People didn’t always like that “apply in person only” part, but it was there for a reason. It was so the store manager (me) could gauge whether you were flaky or not. Even though store managers were not involved in hiring, we could at least offer our impressions of the applicants when they came in to apply. Were they polite? Were they dicks? Were they high?
Like anywhere, we occasionally ended up with a few bad apples. If I were to make an “honest” hiring ad based on the number of times we’d been burned before, here is what it would probably look like.
Don’t get me wrong – we hired lots and lots and lots of great people with the standard ads. But I think mine is better!
More:
RECORD STORE TALES Part 94: Staffing
RECORD STORE TALES Part 185: Staffing 2.0


I definitely like yours better :)
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Thanks sir, I shoulda been the designated sign maker.
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Ok. I’ll be in around noon tomorrow since I am partying late tonight, and I’ll pay for all my discounted music with my first 3 or 4 cheques. I would assume since it is my first day that I will pick all the music, right. Also, since I am going through my first year of University, and I am taking business, that I already know everything, so please don’t offend me be trying to teach me anything.
Oh and since I’ll still be really hung over don’t work me too hard. See you when I get there.
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Haha that was awesome. Well done!
I remember applying there. There was a music test. I doubt I passed!
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I think the ad stated “must not say ‘That’s what she said’ more than 3 times per shift” back then though.
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Well there’s the reason I wasn’t hired, then…
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Mike would have loved to interview you.
“Aaron. Pretend this cd is dirty and needed cleaning. How hard would you rub it?”
“That’s what she said”
“Aaron. A customer is at the counter. How would you give him a hand?”
“That’s what she said”
“You’re hired.”
:)
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See? Only said it twice. I didn’t even break the No 3x That’s What She Said Rule!
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You would have to really restrain yourself as you could only say it one more time that whole shift.
I could see a Seinfeld episode based solely on the rest of that shift.
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I agree! And I’ve only ever seen one Seinfeld episode in my life!
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2 minutes into the first shift….https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDWU2SR27g4
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Wow what a coincidence! That is the one episode I’ve seen. That’s the one where they’re seeing who can go the longest without masturbating, right?That’s the one I saw!
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Jeez you two! If you don’t watch it I’m going to bring back my Bazinga!
Very funny comments though guys :)
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Bring back your Bazinga?
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Aaron banned me from using the word Bazinga after a Bazinga binge a few years ago.
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Sounds like something I would do…
Dunno why you’d listen to me, though…
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I, for one do not want you to whip out your Bazinga (go ahead Aaron)
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Haha that one’s too easy.
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No Trailer Park Boys and only one Seinfeld (that one was classic though). Wow.
You gotta get on that one (cue)
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I know, not having a TV, we choose what we want to see. Our veg sessions are very planned! Haha.
TPB, Seinfeld, South Park… lots I haven’t seen at all. But I have seen all of Sopranos, Breaking Bad and (to current) Game Of Thrones, so that’s gotta count for something! :)
As for your next cue, you see how easy it is. I mean, man, people set ’em up and they just hang there, just waiting for it. It’s addicting. I wonder if I need to seek help… Hahahaha!
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Breaking Bad was awesome. Have you watched Better Call Saul?
Also, speaking of Seinfeld, he has a show called Comedians in cars getting coffee.
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Have not seen any BCS. I suppose we should, someday, though I’ve heard some people say it’s not very good.
I totally missed the Seinfeld boat. Ah well. They made a whole show out of people getting coffee? I approve. MORE COFFEE!!!!
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WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH. Who told you Better Call Saul isn’t very good? I hope you soundly kicked their ass.
Better Call Saul? Let’s just say THIS is the centerpiece of my office.
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I don’t know now, who it was, but it was more than one person. I guess I’ll have to find it eventually and see for myself.
Nice mug.
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Then more than one person is soundly WRONG! The mug don’t lie. Don’t trust them again!
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Haha more than one person has been wrong about many, many things, man. Recommendation taken. I’m sure we’ll see it someday. :)
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Don’t believe it. Better Call Saul is awesome.
Speaking of coffee. When you were in the rant on National Coffee Day, I assumed you were imitating Kramer. There was a Seinfeld episide where he got a lifetime supply of coffee.
You should watch it. Funny.
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Haha nope, that’s just me drinkin’ black coffee STARE AT THE WALLS! :)
Will see if I can find BCS somewhere. Is it on DVD?
Seinfeld too, maybe our library has it…
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Not sure about dvd. If you get a streaming service (apple, roku etc.) you can get these shows.
Also youtube may have.
Youtube the Seinfeld Episode The Maestro. Like all episodes, it has a few storylines.
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I think we need a cupface photo with that mug.
So does Craig Fee. He loves that show too.
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Hey great suggestion. I’ll get ‘er done.
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Aaron. You really must watch the episode that George’s mom catches him “treating your body like an amusement park.”
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If it’s on the tubes of you, I just might!
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Late 80’s early 90’s I was at a party, and a guy there was telling me how The Hip sucked.
Good thing I already knee they were awesome, and did not listen to his stupidity.
;)
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Haha somebody said the Hip sucked? In the Up To Here and Road Apples era? Hahahaha whut?
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One of my old bosses seemed to enjoy telling me the new Darkness sucked. Idiots.
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Fools!
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After all these years he was the only person I ever met that hated The Hip.
He also cheered for the Patriots, drank Coors light, had baseball cap on backwards and had sunglasses on, inside, at night.
So the evidence against listening to his dumb ass was all there.
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I once dated a girl who hated Gordie’s voice. Note the use of the past tense.
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It us funny because even record store employees, owners can have such varied tastes. I can bet there were times when people that worked there got their backs up over arguments about music.
Probably it would have taken a guy like Uncle Meat to settle things since he is not opiniated.
;)
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No not at all! I’ve been trying to goad him into dropping a comment. No luck.
We did get into arguments, but only the dicks took these discussions too far. Mostly we’d just try to avoid playing bands we knew the other person hated. But I was outnumbered, I was the last rocker most of the time.
I had to listen to a lot of “indy”. Fucking Franz Ferdinand. I never want to hear their song “Darling Michael” ever again.
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She sounds like a Nautical Disaster, and I bet you had it Up To Here with her.
My wife LOVES The Hip.
She waited until after we were married to tell me she hates Gordon Lightfoot’s voice though.
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Well, there was a lot of Trickle Down, with that one, but we spent a Long Time Running before I learned She Didn’t Know how to embrace the band. Ah well. That surely wasn’t the main reason for the end, but I was already On The Verge and then I found that out… hahaha. Lovely girl. I wish her well.
My lovely wife can’t stand Neil Young’s voice. I doubt it would have been a dealbreaker though.
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It was not a deal breaker for me either. But it makes me think about wedding vows. There should be something on there about music.
Also, I think Lebrain or someone should start a pre-marriage class focused on music.
A few baseline questions.
“Will you let your spouse continue to collect records after you’re married, without any grief, no matter how much space they take up?”
“Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t know who Led Zeppelin is?”
I think the Lebrain Pre-Nup would be the biggest seller.
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Haha that would be awesome.
I just had a giggle thinking about the wedding vows in the TPB movie. Man I laughed. *
* I have seen the movie but not the show!
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I would have worked with you Lebrain.
We could have rocked out with our….
What? No we would have just rocked out.
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Bazinga!!! (You can’t stop the wife from being evil)
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Our lovely wives are not evil! They are awesome. True story!
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An honest job posting, I love it Mike! Though I might flunk the odor tolerance test…
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It’s true…part of working with the part of the public that sells stuff for money!
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Haha your ad is brilliant and like you say, very honest !
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Needs more Lego though.
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Seconded!
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Kat Dennings aside, there is nothing on this good earth that couldn’t be improved by balancing bits of Lego on it.
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Beth Behrs.
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(sighs)
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You said it man, Beth Behrs, sigh!
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Sorry Dude, I’m with 1537. It’s Kat all the way.
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Wrong.
Cobie Smulders.
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Who the hell is that, an X-Files reject?
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Nooooo! Agent Maria Hill, of SHIELD!
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Is that a TV show or the Avengers thing? I can’t keep up.
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Both.
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Minka Kelly(Aerosmith connection) or Evangeline Lilly.
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No.
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Hahaha ouch.
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A player on the LA Lakers
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