GETTING MORE TALE #509: Rant Random*
Journaling is a gift that keeps on giving. I’m so glad that I decided to document my years at the Record Store. Even when I think the well is dry, I keep finding little tiny flakes of gold. I’ve collected four retail rants from back in the day for your edification.
Date: 2004/05/03
Manners? This guy was just standing in front of me, burped three times, and smelled of pepperoni when he did. It was so gross I felt like I had to puke.
Date: 2004/05/18
I have decided that I want to work at the Money Mart next door. All they ever seem to do is take breaks! The one girl, she’s on her second smoke break in one hour!**
Date: 2004/06/02
You know you’re stupid when…
You pay for a neon sign to be made that is grammatically incorrect!
I was just walking past Angel’s Diner, who advertize that they have “The best rib’s in town!” Yikes!
Date: 2004/06/21
The last thing I needed to see today was an older couple purchasing a CD about tantric sex.
* Title inspired by XM radio DJ Grant Random
** I noticed this because I had a bit of a crush on her, as noted in Record Store Tales Part 170. Not a creepy crush though I swear.
Haha! All great but particularly enjoyed the last one :)
“you know what really grinds my gears” I’m saying it now, in a Peter Griffin voice!
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I’m trying to type a Peter Griffin laugh but no idea how!
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Me too…….stumped!
Um…..the bird is the word?
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B B B bird bird bird…
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I thought everyone had heard….?
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I’m singing this in a Peter Griffin voice and doing the dance right now.
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Haha, fantastic!! I love the bit where he has a fit on the floor then his eyes wack open and he starts humming again. HA!
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Lady on the toilet, bird is the word!
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“I think that can be arranged….!”
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A ma ma mow mow mow ma ma oo mow mow mow mow.
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Tonight. Lights out. Roughly 3am.
Me whispering ” b b b b b bird bird bird. The bird is the word.” While hovering over my wife’s face until my wife wakes up.
Wish me luck.
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Where do I send the flowers for your funeral? ;)
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HAHA! How did it go?!
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In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to the Bird Is The Word Foundation.
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No problem!
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Apparently it is very tough to type with broken fingers.
Also hard to see screen with swollen face.
;)
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Haha! No comment :)
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Just because
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Dude, you did not want to work for a money lender. You’re screwing with desperate people in a time of need, and just shoving them down further. Those places churn my stomach. You’d have been better to be unemployed – then you could take all the smoke breaks you wanted and not have that shite on your conscience.
I see copies of the Kama Sutra at work (thrift shop) and wonder who would buy a used copy of that book. Don’t you wonder where it’s been? Anyway, who cares if an older couple gets a book on tantric sex? Good on ’em for still being so physically and emotionally connected after all these years! You know what are hotbeds (natch) of hot sexy action? Retirement homes! Think about THAT this afternoon!
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Trying to eat over here
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That’s what they said!
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Grody to the max. Gag me with a spoon.
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Hahaha it ain’t so bad, Bop. Just gotta take yer teeth out first.
Don’t worry, buddy. We’ll all get there eventually (and that’s what she said).
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….and I’m out
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Hahaha Happy Thursday, Bop! :)
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Yeah these were just joke diaries. Trying to make myself laugh I guess and it worked! I like Emma’s reaction best!
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One day, when I see Family Guy for the first time, I’ll join in the joke!
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I meant her reaction to the tantric CD…that’s the reaction I hoped for!
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Holy shit! Hot retirement home s-e-x! Eh Let’s not think about it and just say we did lol
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Check this out…a money mart cheques cashed place opened on main street in Stouffville, right downtown. The downtown has been struggling with keeping businesses open, so let’s try a money mart? It stayed open for six months. I guess no one needs their cheques cashed in Stouffville…
Meanwhile, barbers, tat parlours and nails spas survive!! …bedroom communities…lol
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Weird how a tat parlour (a luxury expenditure in my opinion) does well but downtown is otherwise suffering! That probably means it’s a good shop and people will travel to use that artist. (Assumption)
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There are TWO tat parlours – ACROSS THE STREET FROM EACH OTHER!
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The rib is what?!
The burps with no follow up excuse me, especially grinding!
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At least offer me a slice of that pepperoni, dude!
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You’re the Creepy Crush Dude!
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Yeah well…uhhh…double dumbass on you!
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Damn, you got me – that stung!
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Aw man … Bad grammar is off putting, huh? I always slap my head when I see “CD’s, LP’s and Tape’s” when I walk past a record store or I’m at a record fair. In fact, my favourite secondhand record store has those very signs. Urgh!
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Well J I like all your album’s and I hope you do lot’s more’s.
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… on CD’s and LP’s and tape’s.
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Yessss.
All for sale during Canadian tour dates.
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Ye’s.
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