Hollyweird

REVIEW: Poison – Hollyweird (2002)

Dedicated to Iron Tom Sharpe, who doesn’t understand that sometimes you just have to blow off steam and review a shitty album.


POISON – Hollyweird (2002 Cyanide Music)

I have a soft spot for Poison, and I have every album. Every album that is, except Hollyweird. After several spins in-store, I realized this was never an album I was going to listen to again. (Although I did, for this review actually — you’re welcome.)  Let’s face it, a “classic Poison lineup” reunion is not exactly earthshaking, especially when they traded down a true maestro in Blues Saraceno for CC to return. Not to mention Richie Kotzen before him.  CC will never be classified as a guitar hero. It’s CC’s songwriting that he brings to the Poison table, that and some sloppily good rhythms. However Poison’s songwriting on Hollyweird is much like the production values — flat and dull.

13 songs clocking in at just over 40 minutes, this is a collection of short pop rockers and ballads. The cover of “Squeeze Box” is pretty putrid, and Who fans would cringe if they happened upon it.  Most of the originals are just plain dull, lacking the bombast, hooks, flash and excitement of any previous Poison album, Native Tongue included. If only Poison could have continued along the lines that they were pursuing with Crack A Smile, or even re-recorded it with CC. Alas, this is the worst of all Poison studio albums, and it was such a lame duck that the band never recorded another one (as of 2014, this is the most recent Poison studio album aside from the covers-only Poison’d).

The opening and riff to “Hollyweird” is pretty decent, but the song itself is pretty suck-tastic.  Maybe I should take back what I said about CC.  He’s the only good thing about this song.  “Shooting Star” (a supposed sequel to “Fallen Angel”) is annoyingly bass heavy, and Bobby Dall ain’t that great a bassist.  CC’s riff is the only good thing about it, since the chorus is drowned out in mush.  Thom Panuzio isn’t a hack producer by any stretch, but he didn’t even show up on Hollyweird.  Then, somebody thought it would be a good idea to let CC DeVille sing lead on “Emperor’s New Clothes”.  The sad thing is it’s one of the better songs (even though it sounds more like Sum 41 than Poison).  CC sings three songs on Hollyweird, but who cares?

Lowlights:  Stinky “Squeeze Box,” whack “Wishful Thinkin’,” generic “Get Ya Some,” dull “Devil Woman,” horrible “Home”…or should I say “Homes,” since both Bret and CC have their own versions of this pop-punk wannabe? (In a row!)

Highlights:  “Wasteland,” maybe.

Tired, dull, derivative…pick your adjective.

1/5 stars

  1. “Hollyweird” – 3:15
  2. “Squeeze Box” – 2:32 (The Who cover)
  3. “Shooting Star” – 4:39
  4. “Wishful Thinkin'” – 2:49
  5. “Get ‘Ya Some” – 4:22
  6. “Emperor’s New Clothes” – 2:15
  7. “Devil Woman” – 3:47
  8. “Wasteland” – 3:56
  9. “Livin’ In The Now” – 2:37
  10. “Stupid, Stoned & Dumb” – 3:10
  11. “Home” (Bret’s Story) – 2:49
  12. “Home” (C.C.’s Story) – 2:47
  13. “Rockstar” – 3:33

REVIEW: Bret Michaels – Rock My World (2008)

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BRET MICHAELS – Rock My World (2008 VH1 Classic Records)

Every once in a while I have an urge to hear some good time Poison rock.  Since Poison don’t really release new music anymore, I thought I’d give Rock My World a try.  I haven’t kept up with Bret’s solo career but apparently he has quite a few albums.  I saw this at Future Shop for like ten bucks, so why not?  And it’s not bad.  Bret wrote or co-wrote every track.

Rock My World is a compilation of (mostly) previously released songs. To the layman, that means “best of” album, and like most “best of” albums this one has some new tracks too. I’m just guessing here, but I think this was probably released to promote Rock of Love and expose people to some songs from solo albums that most haven’t heard.

What surprised me was how strong this album is. It’s certainly much stronger than the last original Poison album, Hollyweird (which was gawd-awful), though it’s not as good as Flesh & Blood. As you’d expect, it’s a strong mix of ballads and guitar driven classic rock, with modern production. Lyrics are pretty standard. What surprised me was the pop-punk rock goodness of “Bittersweet”, for me the best song and unlike anything else on the album.  I find the lyrics hilarious too.  It reminds me of an old Canadian band called Deadline that I used to like.  Unfortunately there have been a thousand bands with sounds like this in recent years.  The song’s a guilty pleasure.

I’m usually finding that as I get older, I’m not that interested in ballads anymore.  Loved ’em when I was a heartbroken youngster, but they don’t mean much to me anymore.  Having said that, “Fallen” is a pretty good song.  It’s not unique but it’s essentially the kind of song that Poison used to have massive hits with 23 years ago.  And even though it’s followed by another ballad called “Raine”, they’re both pretty good songs and it doesn’t bore me to hear them.  “Raine” is my favourite of the ballads, it has some balls and guitars to it. “Songs of Life” is also pretty strong, even if it quotes some old Poison song titles in its lyrics.

I can’t say that this album made me hungry to pick up the albums that these songs were sourced from (Freedom of Sound and Songs of Life) but with those albums so difficult to find, I think that justifies this release. I can understand why fans who already own them would be ticked that they had to buy this release to get the new songs, but let’s face it, most people don’t have those albums and are unlikely to find them at their local wax emporium.

And in my case, even if I found them, I probably wouldn’t buy them.  There are plenty of albums I don’t have that need my dollars more.

For your reference, the new songs are:  “Go That Far”, “Fallen”, “Start Again”.  There’s also a new 2008 remix of “It’s My Party”.  Whoopee!

Go for it if you like Poison, or classic rock with a good mix of ballads and rockers. Avoid if you hate dudes with headbands on motorcycles.

3.5/5 stars