POISON – “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” (1988 Capitol 3″ CD single)
This is a beautiful item that I’m happy to have in my collection. 3″ CD singles were uncommon, but you’ve probably seen one before. What is less common is the clamshell 3″ case that this Poison single came in. A lot of 3″ singles came in regular 5″ cases, or a cardboard sleeve. Clamshells are rare. This one, called a “Gem Pak” (patent pending) was specifically made to house a “CD3”, another outdated term. It’s made of white plastic and the artwork is in the form of a sticker which covers the front, back and spine of the case. The Gem Pak’s flaw (patent pending!) is that it does not hold the disc in securely. It wants to pop out. Take care when handling one of these that the disc doesn’t fall out when you open it.
I’m a defender of “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”. I loved it as a kid. I remember some people saying it might be “too country”, which is wasn’t. It’s just an acoustic ballad but a well written one and deserving of its success, if not its notoriety. It tended to spawn a generation of soundalikes, a fuzzy swarm of late 80s acousti-balladry that ultimately only served to take bands like Poison down, while ushering in the grunge era. “Every Rose” broke down walls for Poison, but the backlash was inevitable. When Bill & Ted quoted it to get into heaven in 1991, it was already all over. I can hear all that history when I listen to this single. It’s an excellent song, and even C.C.’s solo, as inarticulate as it is, still fits like an electrically heated glove.
The B-side “Livin’ for the Minute” shows off the heavier side of Poison. Fans might forget that Poison liked to really spit one out every now and then. C.C.’s solo is bonkers on this one, but perfectly suited to the frantic tune. Bret really cuts loose too. Poison actually have some pretty cool B-sides.
These tracks are both available on the remastered Open Up and Say…Ahh!! CD, but you gotta snap this one up if you find it in the wild.
What is a “CHR edit”? It’s a special single edit of a song specifically intended for “contemporary hit radio”. In other words, Top 40. So, when “Stand” by Poison was selected to be the first single from 1993’s brand new Native Tongue album, it had to be trimmed for length. Getting Poison on the radio was going to prove to be an impossible task, so why make it harder by giving them a 5:16 long track that they definitely wouldn’t touch? “Stand” was shortened to 4:21, with much of Richie Kotzen’s delightfully idiosyncratic guitar licks getting the axe, along with some of the choir.
The cassette you see here contains two edited versions of “Stand”: the 4:21 “CHR edit” and another at 4:30 simply called “edit”. The differences are in the guitar solo which starts to deviate at the 2:28 mark. It’s in interesting curiosity, a peak inside the minutia of thinking that goes into marketing a song. “Hey, this format needs another nine seconds of song, leave in some guitar solo.” Is that how it worked?
The tape has both edit versions on both sides…twice. 2x2x2=8 times total, that you will hear “Stand” by Poison, if you play it all the way through. Call the CIA and let ’em know I have this cassette; they can use it with their enhanced interrogation techniques. I’ll sell.
On that note I can all but guarantee this cassette has never been played through, ever. It was sent to the Record Store about a year and a half before I started working there. The owner hated Poison. Hated — with a passion. There is no way he played this tape in store, ever. I rescued it from a giant, forgotten stack of promos that were stuffed into a bin. All garbage. “Don’t take any of those,” said the owner. Eventually all that junk was slated to be thrown out when the only location that sold tapes changed formats at the end of 1996.
This tape is valuable for one thing: it reveals the true North American release date for Native Tongue. Currently (August 2019), Wikipedia claims Native Tongue was released on February 8, 1993. That’s impossible because the 8th was a Monday. New releases came out on Tuesdays. This promo cassette clearly states on the back that the forthcoming album Native Tongue was retailing on February 16 — a Tuesday. You’re welcome, internet.
Over 30 years of being a band, and yet Poison only have a handful of albums! We won’t get into the whys and wherefores, for they are many. In terms of studio music, Poison have:
6 full studio albums
2 live albums with about an EP’s worth of new songs
1 covers album
That’s it. There are more live records and greatest hits, but Poison don’t have much music to show for such a long time in the business.
Naturally, anybody with an opinion has their own list of worst-to-first Poison albums. The only thing special about mine is my conviction that I’m right and everybody else is wrong!
Poison’s last album of original songs was not a letdown at all. To be disappointed, you have to have expectations. I don’t think anybody expected much out of Poison in 2002. This dull, bland album had no hits for a good reason. Was Bret saving his best material for his solo career?
#8: Power to the People 2000
Part live, part studio, this album should be included as it was the first new Poison material with C.C. Deville in a decade. Shame that the studio songs are largely forgettable. All but “I Hate Every Bone in Your Body but Mine”, sung by an autotuned C.C., which you’ll wish you could forget. Nobody asked for this, nor the live guitar and drum solos. In concert, Poison need to play long solos so Bret Michaels can take his insulin. On album, there is no excuse for including such boring solos.
This album is plagued by the same problem as Power to the People: horribly long live solos that should have been omitted. At least the studio side was decent. There were two pretty good songs, and one excellent single called “So Tell Me Why”. Possibly their best single, actually. Unfortunately you had to wade through 2 CDs of crap to get to it.
Kinda sad that Poison’s last album was a covers album over 10 years ago. Still, it was a surprisingly good covers album. Just delete the Walmart bonus track “SexyBack” and you’re all set for nothing’ but a good time. Incidentally this is the easiest place to find Poison’s first recorded cover, “Rock and Roll all Nite”!
#5: Crack A Smile…And More! 2000
In 1994, Poison began working on their first album with new guitarist Blues Saraceno. It sat unreleased for another six years. When it finally came out, it was beefed up with two new B-sides, the cool and unfinished “Crack A Smile” demo, an old B-side with C.C., and four songs from MTV Unplugged (also with C.C.). Hence the “And More!” tag in the title. Saraceno is a wiz on the guitar, and with Poison he wrote some cool songs. Just not enough for such a long album. There’s a bit of filler on Crack A Smile, but for guitar playing it’s one of their best.
I know, I know, it’s their “classic” debut, right? But it ain’t produced so good, and there’s some filler in those grooves. The singles, however, are all great, with “Cry Tough” joining “So Tell Me Why” as one of their all-time best. Poison had an adorable rawness and party attitude, but like many bands they got better as they went.
This is when Poison really started getting good. By my measure, this album only has one filler song, “Bad to Be Good”. There’s actually some stunning material here, including non-singles like “Love On the Rocks”. It has the big ballad (and only one ballad!) as well as the unforgettable “Nothing But a Good Time“. Open Up and Say…Ahh! is definitely the best of Poison’s “party rock” albums.
A lot of people consider this to be Poison’s best, and while that argument can be made, I just can’t get past “Poor Boy Blues”. That song is so awful it leaves a limburger-like aftertaste. (It’s even worse when it’s extended on Swallow This Live.) “Unskinny Bop” is painfully dumb, a fact we recognized back in 1990. It didn’t fit the more mature sound Poison were going for with new producer Bruce Fairbairn. “Why is this song the single?” we asked each other, as we discovered way better material buried inside. “Valley of Lost Souls”, “Sacrifice”, and “Life Loves a Tragedy” were never singles but certainly catalogue highlights. Flesh & Blood also boasts two of their best ballads, “Something to Believe In” and “Life Goes On”. It’s a tough album to beat.
But Native Tongue does surpass Flesh & Blood, thanks to the supernatural talents of Mr. Richie Kotzen. On paper, it was a slam dunk. Poison were never taken seriously as musicians, but with Kotzen, suddenly that bar was raised. That tone! Earthy and hot. He was a shredder, and a soulful singer/songwriter. He dominated Native Tongue. Unfortunately the personalities didn’t mesh (or so we will word it). It was a weird fit, but it resulted in a very special album. Most of the songs are clearly Richie’s, with Bret Michaels singing. (It’s possible that Richie played other instruments as well, but we’ll leave that to speculation.) Kotzen brought to Poison a real soulful bent that they simply didn’t have without him, although they sure did try on Flesh & Blood. His raspy voice didn’t hurt. The good time rock isn’t gone either, though there’s less of it. “Ride Child Ride”, “Strike Up the Band” and “Seven Days Over You” are as fun as the old days, but with a richer more musical palette. Poison also went heavier than ever before. “Scream” and “Bring it Home” groove harder than anything before or after. Perhaps this album should be disqualified from the list as it’s more a Kotzen record with Poison as his backing band? Nope, it’s my list and this is #1.
WTF search terms are fewer and further between today. But they still trickle in, oh yes they do! This time out, people found their way to my site searching for gossip. Have a look below at the bizarre things that people Google:
regina russell fucked by frankie bnali photos
Nooooo. No no no. That’s something you could not un-see.
did steve perry have long hair once
Yes and it was beautiful.
bobby dall sexual gossip
One of those things that just makes you question why.
WTF SEARCH TERMS XXXI: Freddie Mercury’s Mic Stand edition
Gather ’round yon computers and tablets boys and girls, as we once again recount some of the…errr…more amusing search terms that led people here to mikeladano.com. If you’re new, this is a series of bizarre things that people have typed into search engines to get here. And once again, this proves that there are some pretty sick individuals out there! Let’s begin.
The Swedish rock band Europe, and their singer Joey Tempest, have been the source of many bizarre hits from the search terms. This is NOTthe firsttime!
1.joey tempest satanist 2.satanist sign on shert of joey tempest 3.opinion of joey tempest about religion
Not sure why the obsession with Joey Tempest and religion. At all.
Here’s one to warm the heart:
4.avril fuck by bruce dickinson
And I’m sure many people have this question:
5.did freddie mercury masturbate his mic stand
Next up we have Poison. I’m sure Poison had lots of dirty sex back in the day, but this? Who the fuck wants to know? Bobby Dall is, like, the least sexy guy in Poison.
6. bobby dall sex tales
And we round out today’s list with just a bunch of dirty, filthy shit. Literally.
7.trough urinal dick parade 8.film porno women shit and piss 9.boy to boy big cock six part 10.hyenas fucking
Thank you internet! You are the gift that keeps on giving.
POISON – Look What the Cat Dragged In (1986, 2006 Capitol remaster)
I remember seeing this album in the racks of our local Zellers store. I didn’t know the band. I thought CC Deville was pretty cute.
Taking the gender-bending makeup of the mid-80’s to its logical end point, Poison stormed out of Hollywood and onto the charts. They did this with a handful of great singles, including “Talk Dirty to Me”, “Cry Tough”, and “I Won’t Forget You”. Also huge, but barely tolerable as a song, was the singalong “I Want Action”.
Bass “rapin’?” Good god!
Armed with just $23,000, Poison recorded Look What the Cat Dragged In with producer Ric Browde (Ted Nugent, W.A.S.P.) in less than two weeks. What they emerged with was a fun, raunchy and terrible sounding album with some big hits and plenty of filler.
“Cry Tough” was a tight little opener, a hot and bright rocker about going out and givin’ er. “You gotta cry tough, out on the streets, to make your dreams happen!” sings Bret Michaels in full-on cheerleader mode. Unfortunately the sonics of the album leave much to be desired. The guitar, drum and vocal sounds are demo quality at best, but that’s what you get for $23,000 and Ric Browde.
The other singles were all huge. “Talk Dirty to Me” is now minor staple, and “I Want Action” (annoying as it is) is another. The ballad “I Won’t Forget You” is an album highlight, well before Bret & co. had mastered the art of writing hit ballads. Low key, basic and electric, “I Won’t Forget You” is very different from “Every Rose” and some of the later broken-hearted Poison love songs. Paul Stanley has a cameo in the road-ready music video, which didn’t hurt.
That leaves a hell of a lot of room for filler, and Look What the Cat Dragged In has plenty. Of the album tracks, the decent ones include the saucy glam-slam rawking title track, and another song called “Want Some, Need Some”. Both tunes could have used some last-minute tightening up, but neither are as bad as the dreck on the tail end of the album: “#1 Bad Boy”, “Blame it on You” and the horrid “Mama Let Me Go to the Show” all suck absolutely. “Play Dirty” on side one is also pretty awful.
Even with the quality issues in sound and songwriting, Look What the Cat Dragged In sold over 3,000,000 copies. 20 years later, it was given a fresh remastering and three bonus tracks. The remastering could not fix the audio issues, but the bonus tracks are pretty good. Single remixes of “I Want Action” and “I Won’t Forget You” are marginally better than the original album tracks. Somebody realized that they were sonically deficient, and the remixes help a teeny tiny bit. Then Jim Croce’s “You Don’t Mess Around With Jim” is added to the end, a song that got more exposure on the covers album Poison’d! The bonus tracks go a long way towards making the album a little more listenable from start to end.
2/5 stars
C.C. DeVille was let go from Poison after an embarrassing performance on the 1991 MTV awards. Who can forget the pink-haired C.C.? Drugs and alcohol had taken their toll on the guitar player. There were musical differences as well. Bret Michaels liked the bluesier direction Poison were going on; C.C. preferred basic sloppy rock. A parting of ways was all but inevitable.
Poison were lucky enough to convince guitar prodigy Richie Kotzen to join the band. Kotzen was from Pennsylvania, like Poison, and had released three critically acclaimed solo albums. Richie Kotzen and Electric Joy were hard-to-penetrate instrumental albums, while Fever Dream introduced Richie’s soulful singing voice. He had also contributed the bluesy rock of “Dream of a New Day” to the Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey soundtrack album.
Like many fans, I waited and wondered what the new Poison would sound like. Kotzen claims that many of the songs were completely written, lyrics and all, before he joined Poison. Regardless each song received a four-way songwriting split among the band members. Fans in the know could tell right away that Kotzen’s impact on the songs was much greater than the other members.
Native Tongue was not as immediate as any prior Poison album, but what it lacked in instant hooks it made up for in musicianship and integrity. Native Tongue was also a long album, at almost an hour not including B-sides such as “Whip Comes Down”. It was a lot to absorb, and due to the changing winds of rock, not too many fans were willing to spend time with and get to know Native Tongue.
You couldn’t have asked for a better start to the album that the duo of “Native Tongue”/”The Scream”. Tribal drums by Rikki Rockett and Sheila E. set the scene for one of Poison’s heaviest songs ever. “The Scream” is killer: a relentless driving rock song with aggressive playing and lyrics. Bret Michaels merged this with his Poison singing style, creating a successful hybrid. “The Scream” is one of Poison’s finest achievements, and a hell of a way to kick off the new album with the new guitarist.
“Stand” was the soulful, gospel-like lead single. It didn’t do anything for me, but you have to give Poison credit for going all-in. With choirs and Kotzen’s soulful guitar playing, it’s still an outstanding Poison song. “Stay Alive” was another good tune, this time about bassist Bobby Dall’s struggles with substances. That led into the ballad “Until You Suffer Some (Fire and Ice)”, one of the band’s best such songs. The only weakness here is a grouping of slow songs on side one. “Body Talk” and “Bring It Home” make up for that. “Bring It Home” in particular had that heavy groove that you needed to have in the 1990s, as well as strong backing vocals from Kotzen. “Bring It Home” ended the first side with the heaviest song since “The Scream”.
The one thing that I found difficult about Native Tongue was the aforementioned lack of immediacy. Thankfully, side two had a few songs that maintained that old-tyme Poison singalong chorus. They were “Seven Days Over You” (a horn-inflected goodie), the anthemic “Blind Faith” and, “Ride Child Ride”. These tunes weren’t too much of a departure from earlier Poison of Flesh & Blood. Perhaps if they had been released as singles, there would have been more chart action. “Strike Up the Band” is similar, capturing the high octane rock that Poison were good at doing live.
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“Richie’s Acoustic Thang” and “Ain’t That the Truth” are swampy bluesy goodness, crossing Poison and Kotzen perfectly. Where Poison failed to do decent blues before, they finally managed to get it done with Richie. Likewise, “Theatre of the Soul” is a soulful ballad that acts as another album highlight.
The final song was “Bastard Son of a Thousand Blues”, and it is really the only stinker, despite Kotzen having plenty of vocal time. It reminds me of “Poor Boy Blues” from the prior album, and unfortunately ends the album on a mediocre note, guitar pyrotechnics notwithstanding.
Kotzen didn’t last long with Poison. After a controversial departure, he was replaced by Blues Saraceno, another highly rated shredder. The ironic thing was that Blues Saraceno was in the running for the guitar slot in the first place, but the band chose Kotzen. Saraceno recorded the strong Crack A Smile CD, an intentional return to good-time Poison rock, but were dropped by the record label before a release. That’s a whole other story, with six years of delays and bootlegs before the album was out, eventually leading to a reunion with C.C. DeVille.
Fortunately, Native Tongue remains a reminder of a brief period in Poison where they were momentarily among the best acts in hard rock. No shit.
Talk about defying expectations. As a general rule, covers albums suck. By extension of that, you would certainly predict that a cover album by Poison would absolutely suck. After all, the band Poison haven’t made a decent studio album in well over 20 years. 2002’s Hollyweird was junk. Maybe it’s the presence of legendary producer Don Was, but Poison somehow managed to make a good cover album! I’m almost worried about losing credibility by saying this. I did indeed get Poison’d by it.
I think Poison are at their best when playing upbeat but hard pop rock numbers. “Little Willy” by the Sweet is a great example of that kind of song, and it’s right up Bret’s alley. It’s obvious that he doesn’t have the voice he once had (which wasn’t much to start with) but when Bret’s at home with a particular style it always works better. “Little Willy” is hella fun.
Here’s my Bowie confession — this guy here is not a fan. Maybe it’s over-exposure. I do like the hits, and of those “Suffragette City” is one I enjoy. Once again, Poison are at home, putting their slant on Bowie and somehow making it work. I don’t even mind C.C.’s over the top guitar slop — silly but that’s his style. I’m sure Bowie diehards will absolutely hate this.
The classic Alice Cooper ballad “I Never Cry” is a great song, and Poison throw a little twang on it while keeping it pretty true to the original. Dick Wagner had a knack for writing incredible songs, and “I Never Cry” is one of the best he’s ever written. As for Bret, he’ll never be Alice Cooper but he’s not trying to be. Too bad C.C. can’t seem to hit the notes he’s searching for on the solo! If Poison had done this in 1988, they absolutely would have had a hit with it.
You wouldn’t expect a band like Poison to have too many Tom Petty records in their collection, but they do a great job glamming up “I Need to Know”. They nailed it by doing it in their style, and as long as you’re not too attached to Tom Petty’s original then you’ll dig it. On the other hand, I can picture Bret having a whole bunch of albums by the Marshall Tucker Band. “Can’t You Say” has that laid back, southern gospel rock vibe that Bret has been trying to copy for 25 years. Unsurprisingly, “Can’t You See” is better than most of Bret’s originals in the same style. Guitar solo aside it’s actually pretty great!
One song I really don’t care for anymore is “What I Like About You” by the Romantics. Hearing a decent cover though ain’t so bad. Surprisingly, once again, Poison do a great version. C.C.’s soloing doesn’t fit the track, but hey, that’s C.C. for you. Bret’s enthusiasm carries the track, which is in Poison rock mode. Then they slip by covering the Rolling Stones. “Dead Flowers” isn’t a song I would be brave enough to do, and Poison should have erred on the side of caution and not tried it. This is filler, but I love the Cars, so I had my hopes up for the next track “Just What I Needed”. No need to fear — this one is in that hard pop rock mode that Poison do very well. It reminds me of their own song “So Tell Me Why” in tone. Count this one as an album highlight and personal favourite.
Some previously released tracks fill out the set. A Poison covers album should include their first cover, “Rock ‘N Roll All Nite”. This Kiss cover (produced by Rick fucking Rubin, no shit) was first released on the Less Than Zero soundtrack in 1987. You can also hear it in the background at the start of their music video for “Nothin’ But a Good Time”. I do not like it, but it’s nice to include. The Who’s “Squeeze Box” was originally from the aforementioned Hollyweird CD, and it’s sadly (but not surprisingly) a stinker. Jim Croce’s “You Don’t Mess Around With Jim” is a demo from 1987, previously released on the remastered Look What the Cat Dragged On. Not bad when you want a taste of that old-style Poison.
I think it’s kind of odd to put “Your Mama Don’t Dance” on this CD, since pretty much every Poison fan in the world already has that song. But here’s the overrated Loggins and Messina cover for you one more time! “We’re An American Band” was also previously released, on the Poison best of 20 Years of Rock. (“Rock ‘N Roll All Nite” and “Your Mama Don’t Dance” are also on that CD.) It’s a good tune on which to end the CD.
Except it’s not! Walmart’s version of the CD had a bonus track, and it’s a baffling one. I’m very proud to say that I have never heard the song “Sexy Back” by Justin Timberlake. Having said that, I’m sure it’s better than Poison’s industrial-flavoured version. A colonoscopy is better than this. So essentially what Walmart have done is ended the album with a colonoscopy for you. You’re welcome!
Missing: “Cover of the Rolling Stone” from the Crack A Smile album. Too bad, as that would have been better than getting “Your Mama Don’t Dance” yet again. Also missing (but not missed): “God Save the Queen” from the remastered Flesh & Blood.
Ah, Poison! The band everybody loved to hate! In spite of that, Poison made a couple pretty good albums. Flesh & Blood is the best of the original C.C. DeVille era, and probably their most successful. It spawned a huge headlining tour that also produced a double live album. Flesh & Blood was also their “get serious” album, although in that regard it was only a partial success. The idea was to write and record more mature music and lyrics, something that C.C. was opposed to. He saw nothing wrong with the glam-slam-king-of-noize direction that they started on, and maintained that Look What the Cat Dragged In was their high point. He saw the introduction of blues influences as diluting the Poison sound he liked.
That’s all bullshingles. Flesh & Blood is the best thing C.C. has done, and is second only to Poison’s Native Tongue album with Richie Kotzen. C.C. was still far from a great guitar player, but on most tracks it’s his most accessible and least annoying playing. (On others…well, we’ll get there.) Take the opening track “Valley of Lost Souls” for example (preceded by a jokey answering machine tape called “Strange Days of Uncle Jack”). “Valley” rocks heavy with integrity and an edge that Poison hadn’t displayed before, and C.C. throws in a lot of tasty, toffee-like strings. His soloing will never be considered virtuoso, and his tone has always been thin and annoying, but never has C.C. generated such guitar thrills as he does on this album. (Most of it.)
I’m sure that producer Bruce Fairbairn steered this ship with a firm hand. His stamp is all over Flesh & Blood: from weird segues to rich backing vocals, this is a Fairbairn production through and through. Fairbairn was known to be a taskmaster, and I’m sure he worked C.C. (and the whole band) to the bone. The title track, “(Flesh & Blood) Sacrifice” has his patented, perfectly arranged vocal stamp. The vocals are layered and almost Leppard-lush. When we’re talking about a singer like Bret Michaels, you know it’s not going to be Pavarotti. The credits don’t list additional singers, but there are some names in the tail end of the thank-yous: Paul Laine, for example. Laine was a Vancouver local, where Poison recorded the album. Why is he being thanked? I think it’s safe to assume that Laine and others helped out in the backing vocals department. Anyway, “Sacrifice” is the second excellent song in a row. Say what you like about Poison as performers, they wrote some fucking good songs too.
“Swampjuice (Soul-O)” is some surprisingly good C.C. acoustic blues. Actually not bad at all — but just instrumental filler. As is the next song, a massive huge hit single: “Unskinny Bop”. The song is awful, the lyrics worse, and C.C.’s solo is like razor blades. I mean that in a bad way. Total shit. Garbage. “Let It Play” verges on filler, but it’s good enough. It’s simple but memorably melodic. Better is the timeless sounding single “Life Goes On”. I liked this bombastic electric ballad then, and I still do now. Michaels is a limited singer, but this is a damn good ballad. I give Fairbairn credit for the backing vocal hooks. The first side of the album closes on the forgettable but adequate hard rocker “Come Hell or High Water”.
Kicking off side two with the single “Ride the Wind” is a no-brainer. This song sounds like its title. It sounds like a car song, a rock and roll ode to the thrills of the road. I’d rank this easily among Poison’s best hits — top five. “Don’t Give Up an Inch” is filler, but “Something to Believe In” was another huge single. Hearing it again today, I find it hard to dislike. I wanted to, but I can’t. I think Bret wrote some pretty good lyrics here. The part about his best friend who died “in some Palm Springs hotel room” is about his bodyguard, a guy he was really close to. It’s pretty heartfelt, and the piano ballad still stands up as well as any by Aerosmith from the same era.
Some boring C.C. pedal steel guitar leads into “Ball and Chain”. It’s a pretty good rock boogie, but the second-to-last song “Life Loves a Tragedy” is the best track on the album. Even better than “Ride the Wind” but similar in vibe, this song shoulda woulda coulda been a hit. The soft intro fools you into thinking it’s a ballad. It’s not. It’s a ballsy rocker with another Bret Michaels lyric that you’d call more mature. “My vices have turned to habits, and my habits have turned to stone,” sings Bret. “I gotta stop living at a pace that kills, ‘fore I wake up dead.” Not poetry really, but a hell of a lot better than “Unskinny bop bop, blow me away.” The chorus kills, as does the whole song. Another top five Poison track in my book.
The album ends on a pile of shit called “Poor Boy Blues”. This may well be the worst Poison song of all time. Of all time! C.C.’s playing is so pointless, so brutal, so annoying, that I don’t know why somebody didn’t pull the guitar out of his hands. Wah-wah alone does not a solo make! This song stinks so bad. Dammit, Poison, you’re not a blues band fer fuck’s sakes! This song should have been axed, there is no reason for it to still exist.
The 2006 remastered edition has two bonus tracks. The first is a disappointing acoustic version of “Something to Believe In” from the “Life Goes On” single B-side. It has new lyrics (erasing one of the things I liked about the song) and absolutely pointless guitar playing by C.C. His solos and melodies go nowhere. It’s just a guy playing all kinds of notes on an acoustic guitar that don’t have any direction: There’s no tension, no release, no hooks. This version sucks. Lastly there’s “God Save the Queen”, an instrumental demo version. This too sucks. More directionless soloing from C.C. over the Pistols riff. That’s all it is.
Interestingly the remastered edition has two changes that I’ve noticed. The cover is the “censored” version without the extra blood on the arm. This is a US import, and I think in Canada we had the other cover originally. Second, the reprise of “Strange Days of Uncle Jack” that closes the album is missing. Normally this would fade in from the end of “Poor Boy Blues”. Now, “Poor Boy Blues” ends with a few seconds of silence where that reprise used to be. I don’t know why they did that. I’m assuming somebody mistakenly used a version of the song from a compilation album.
I know I’ve been hard on Poison in this review, but this is actually a great album. Take away “Unskinny Bop” and “Poor Boy Blues” and I would call it pretty damn solid. As for the remaster? Disappointing.
Dedicated to Iron Tom Sharpe, who doesn’t understand that sometimes you just have to blow off steam and review a shitty album.
POISON – Hollyweird (2002 Cyanide Music)
I have a soft spot for Poison, and I have every album. Every album that is, except Hollyweird. After several spins in-store, I realized this was never an album I was going to listen to again. (Although I did, for this review actually — you’re welcome.) Let’s face it, a “classic Poison lineup” reunion is not exactly earthshaking, especially when they traded down a true maestro in Blues Saraceno for CC to return. Not to mention Richie Kotzen before him. CC will never be classified as a guitar hero. It’s CC’s songwriting that he brings to the Poison table, that and some sloppily good rhythms. However Poison’s songwriting on Hollyweird is much like the production values — flat and dull.
13 songs clocking in at just over 40 minutes, this is a collection of short pop rockers and ballads. The cover of “Squeeze Box” is pretty putrid, and Who fans would cringe if they happened upon it. Most of the originals are just plain dull, lacking the bombast, hooks, flash and excitement of any previous Poison album, Native Tongue included. If only Poison could have continued along the lines that they were pursuing with Crack A Smile, or even re-recorded it with CC. Alas, this is the worst of all Poison studio albums, and it was such a lame duck that the band never recorded another one (as of 2014, this is the most recent Poison studio album aside from the covers-only Poison’d).
The opening and riff to “Hollyweird” is pretty decent, but the song itself is pretty suck-tastic. Maybe I should take back what I said about CC. He’s the only good thing about this song. “Shooting Star” (a supposed sequel to “Fallen Angel”) is annoyingly bass heavy, and Bobby Dall ain’t that great a bassist. CC’s riff is the only good thing about it, since the chorus is drowned out in mush. Thom Panuzio isn’t a hack producer by any stretch, but he didn’t even show up on Hollyweird. Then, somebody thought it would be a good idea to let CC DeVille sing lead on “Emperor’s New Clothes”. The sad thing is it’s one of the better songs (even though it sounds more like Sum 41 than Poison). CC sings three songs on Hollyweird, but who cares?
Lowlights: Stinky “Squeeze Box,” whack “Wishful Thinkin’,” generic “Get Ya Some,” dull “Devil Woman,” horrible “Home”…or should I say “Homes,” since both Bret and CC have their own versions of this pop-punk wannabe? (In a row!)
POISON – “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” (1988 Capitol 3″ CD single)
#9: 
#8: Power to the People 2000
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#6: 
#5: Crack A Smile…And More! 2000
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#3: 
#2: 
#1: 
POISON – Native Tongue (1993 Capitol)
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