HELLO!  MY NAME IS BLOTTO – THE MOVIE! (2025 – 1 hour 44 minutes)

Directed by Rob Lichter

I am a firm believer in documenting music history.  There are many groups throughout rock history that have had hits, fans, and stories to tell, but with scarce documentation.  One such band was Blotto – until now.

In 2025, director Rob Lichter (also known as Bert Blotto) finally released the long-gestating Blotto documentary film, Hello! My Name Is Blotto – The Movie!  This film has been a labour of love, and that love comes across in every frame.  Meticulous attention to detail, comprehensive live and TV clips, and extensive interview footage with all the band members make up the bulk of this loving look at Albany’s greatest…comedy rock band?  Rock comedy ensemble?  What are Blotto anyway?  This is a question that comes up during the movie several times.  Why didn’t the record labels get what Blotto were selling?

“We were not musical enough to be a musical band, and not funny enough to be a comedy act!” sums up guitarist and singer Broadway Blotto.  “We wanted fame with a living wage.”

“We weren’t rich and famous; we were solvent and well known,” responds guitarist and singer Bowtie Blotto.

Starting out in the early 1970s as the Star Spangled Washboard Band, three of the founding members of Blotto first began playing comedic bluegrass music.  They used costumes and aliases:  “Broadway Harris” for example (no relation to Bill & Emily).   The roots of Blotto were forming, though in a genre far removed from rock.  You’ll see early TV appearances, featuring Bowtie’s much bigger hair, and some music that was later rocked up into Blotto songs, such as “High School Honey”.  The Star Spangled Washboard Band earned great reviews and plenty of laughs.  Their knack for quick comedy was evident, as the chemistry between Sarge, Broadway and Bowtie blossomed.  It’s possible that I saw the Star Spangled Washboard Band on television back when I was a child, as they appeared on programs like the Mike Douglas Show, which was a TV staple in our house.

From the bass-playing hotspot of Ballston Spa, New York, came Cheese Blotto, a gifted musician who had a knack for groove.  The Washboard Band never launched into super-stardom though, as misfortune derailed a big New York City gig.  The band broke up in 1978, but of course, they couldn’t stay apart forever.  Working as a bartender, Cheese was eager to be on stage instead of serving drinks, so he called his old buddies for a jam.  They didn’t even have a name, but washboard was out and rock was in.

The band acquired singer Blanche Blotto, who started as a fan (a “Blottette”), and became a key member, singing lead on “Stop (In The Name of Love)”.  Finally, they found drummer Lee Harvey Blotto, who fit in like a glove from day one.  “You’ll know the songs better than they do,” he was assured.

Blotto wisely decided to record some demos.  “I Wanna Be A Lifeguard” became a hit, earning radio play in New York City, and crucial airtime on the fledgling MTV.  “Lifeguard” was in fact the 36th song ever played on MTV, on day one.  Did you know the video was filmed on a freezing cold April day?

Shortly after “Lifeguard”, Blotto secured a recording with legendary producer Bob Clearmountain, which yielded two songs in one overnight session.  Unsurprisingly, they sounded great.  Sadly, it never led to a major label deal as they hoped.  “I think Atlantic Records is going in a different direction than Blotto,” went one heartbreaking rejection.

The film is divided into six sections, each one covering an era of the band.   It is augmented by interviews with the people who were there at the time, including MTV VJ Martha Quinn to talk about “Lifeguard” burning up TV screens nationwide.  Buck Dharma, who shared their sense of humour, appears to discuss the hit “Metal Head”.  We even get to see outtakes from the innovative music video.   This movie is packed full of facts, fans, and perspectives from Albany New York, where they became local heroes.  Sadly, the talented Cheese Blotto passed away in 1999, and only TV footage remains of him.  Though we lost Sarge in 2019, plenty of interviews with him remain.  Past members Chevrolet, Hammerhead and Clyde Blotto also appear, fleshing out the documentation of the different lineup changes.

“Chevrolet Blotto, our newest Blotto, was auditioned mainly on the strength of his last name,” jokes Broadway in a vintage interview clip.

There are clips of unreleased songs such as “I Love You Calvin Klein”.  There are so many stories; hilarious stories.  Detailed stories about the creation of the songs and the album covers.  There are tragic stories of loss, and bizarre tales of Blotto haters.  Who could hate Blotto?

This is the only unanswered question that the film leaves open.  Who could hate Blotto?  Though the labels had no idea what to do with them, the fans kept coming back through theme nights, Blottoweens, reunion gigs and new members.  The band never really packed it in.  They moved on; got other work.  Lee Harvey even did double duty as a lawyer and a lifeguard.  But they never really stopped being Blotto.  As Blanche says, it’s always a part of them.

Though I laughed throughout the film, there are tears to be shed as well.  Both Cheese and Sarge went too soon, and it is clear that they are missed.  Each member of the band brought something to the table.  Sarge was not just a singer, but also an artist.  Cheese’s disco grooves were magically delicious, and his decision to go bald brought a new visual dimension to the band.  Their quick wits are on sharp display in the vintage footage.

I have always felt like the world needed more Blotto.  Their small treasure chest of tunes is easy to devour in a sitting or two.  Now, we finally have more Blotto, and a serious addition to the catalogue it is.  Hello! My Name is Blotto – The Movie! is a constantly entertaining deep dive on a band that we needed more of.  A band that the world needs to hear.  Anyone who likes music would enjoy this film, and maybe become a new fan, just a few decades late.

5/5 stars