RECORD STORE TALES Part 228: The Phone
Boring conversation anyway.
I has been a long time since I’ve had to answer the phone at the record store. As long as it’s been, sometimes I still find myself answering my phone at work, and it just happens: “Good afternoon, [name of record store].” I’ve stumbled over that a couple times before realizing what I’ve said!
Every time it happens (like today), it takes me right back in time! The memories flood in all at once.
There were several ways we were supposed to answer the phones at the record store. “Good afternoon, [name of store]” was the main one. Our boss used to answer the phone with “good afternoon” no matter what time it was. 10 am: “good afternoon”. 8 pm: “good afternoon”. I used to tease him about that.
Later on when we got more locations, we changed the phone greeting to, “Good afternoon, [name of store], [address of store].” This was done for customers who were too confused to figure out which location they had just dialed. Although that didn’t stop one guy, who went on an extended cuss-infested tirade because I didn’t have his special order…even though he called the wrong store! You can’t fix stupid. (This story was recounted back in Part 104: A Nightmare on Cocknuckles Street.)
At Christmas we’d do other variations of the greeting. I personally enjoyed “Merry Christmas, [name of store]” because I for one don’t like “Happy Holidays”. The name of the date on the calendar is Christmas, whether you celebrate it or not, you still get a stat holiday like everyone else. Happy Holidays my arse.
Tom came up with a few interesting greetings. “Happy Ho Ho, [name of store]” was a good one. Another time he answered “[Name of store], Santa’s little rock shop.” He tried to have fun with it.
Still, the worst answering of the phone that ever happened was on my watch. It was a busy night, and some kid asked to use the phone for a moment. We usually obliged such requests, instructing the person to be quick. Well I turned my back for a moment on this kid, and next thing I knew he had walked halfway across the store with the phone and was having a whole conversation. I made my way out to retrieve the phone, but it was too late. The kid had a “call waiting” and answered the store phone for us.
“Hello? Uhhh, hold on.” Then he finally acknowledged me. “It’s for you.”
Idiot!
mikeladano.com 
To be the devil’s advocate, at least the kid knew how to use the phone as a phone – love this community line describing the generation that doesn’t know the phone’s original purpose! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd8uJswc2Tc
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HAH! That was great! I am also fond of this one:
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as the one girl said lol in short form, I laughed out loud – great closing punchline!
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I love that closing line!
I’m guilty of the text thing. But it’s no different from being on the phone in some respects — sometimes you can’t get rid of the other person!
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As long as you’re not that guy who’s constantly texting while he should be talking in person with the people he’s actually with, not to worry!
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Yeah, I hate that! Especially at dinner!
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Were you ever tempted to say something like Angelo’s Pizza or County Morgue, You stab’em we slab’em?
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Yes…when we got call display all bets were off. If we knew the caller we’d mess around. Sometimes if it was someone we didn’t want to talk to, we’d answer “Pizza Hut can I take your order?” or something like that.
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I just love stories about the stupidity of customers, having worked in retail for 39 years. The store I work in now is open 24/7 except for Christmas day, when the doors are actually closed. I used to work 3rd shift, and the phone at the store rings all night long Christmas night (3rd would come in at 8 p.m.) with customers wanting to know if we”re open or when the store opens. So I used to answer the phone, “(store name) security. We re-open at 6 a.m.” Some customers would still ask their dum question, but others would pause and then say, “…oh…” and hang up. One security guy who was hired to just sit in his car and watch the store on Christmas day told us that for fun he counted how many cars drove into the lot to see if we were open. He said he counted several hundred! Some people just need to get a life!
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Several…hundred? Oh my God.
I have had all the same experiences unfortunately. Great idea for a future Record Store Tale. I remember one Christmas Eve, we closed up, had halfway finished cashing out, when this lady started banging on the door. I tried to ignore her but she kept banging. I answered and she begged to be let in. I said I was sorry, but we were already closed.
“But we know exactly what we need!!” she yelled.
Not the point. It’s Christmas Eve, I’m cashing out, and there is turkey at home waiting to be carved, dig?
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Yeah, it’s not like Christmas doesn’t come at the same time each year and people don’t know it’s coming until the day before. I figure if they can’t get to the store in the other 364 days, then they really don’t care if they get their mom or kids something for Christmas. I know of a store that is open on Christmas, and they’re swamped!
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My thinking exactly. Get the person and IOU and admit you were too dumb to shop any earlier than after dark on the 24th!
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All I have to say is:
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Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking…
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