RECORD STORE TALES #897: Spam
Making a long-ish story short(er): before launching this site in 2012, I was an active reviewer on Amazon. On a good day I could finish two or three. Those reviews became the bulk of content when I launched my own site. I must have written so many that I ended up on the Amazon Canada “Hall of Fame”.
From my Amazon profile, you can get to this site. I figured, “Hey, if somebody liked my reviews enough to click my name, then maybe they’ll like the ones I have on my site even better”.
It took me a little while to put two and two together, but a year or so ago, I started getting bombarded with emails asking me to do Amazon reviews. The emails would come through the contact page here. The requests would be for USB cables, lights, HDMI cables, you name it. Anything but music.
The first few requests were vague. “Would you like to write some Amazon reviews and get the product for free?” I would respond, “Sure, I am looking to review the new Metallica album,” and that would be it. I wouldn’t hear back. They clearly didn’t check to see what kinds of products I was reviewing, which were almost exclusively CDs and DVDs. They just saw “Hall of Fame” and jumped.
Some of the requests were more detailed — like a form letter. I would have to buy the selected product myself, but after posting the review, they would refund the money and I keep the product. Some of the emails specified a “positive” review.
I don’t need extra clutter, and am generally uncomfortable writing reviews on request like that. I know a lot of those products and I would be writing a negative review on some of the USB cables and lights. The whole thing seemed kind of shaky to me.
The requests kept rolling in, so I put a disclaimer up on the contact form on this site: “no Amazon review requests”. And the request emails immediately stopped…
…Only to continue on my Instagram and Facebook pages. I have to admit the first one to come in on Instagram surprised me. (Nothing on Facebook surprises me.) An Instagram one really bugged me by calling me “dear” repeatedly. I blocked that one, and then suddenly mysteriously was contacted on Facebook by a seller who called me “dear”. Persistence like that only earns the Instablock.
The last request was for an electric toothbrush review. Eventually I figured out that I needed to put the disclaimer directly on my Amazon profile — “no review requests please”. That was a couple months ago and I haven’t had a single request since!
This message came in at 1:57 AM!
One small victory against spam. Then again, maybe I really blew it. Maybe I could have had the best USB cables and lights. My teeth could have been whiter and shinier than ever! I don’t know anyone who’s gone for one of those review deals, so if you have any insight or feedback, let me know.
Just don’t ask me to review your damned electric toothbrush!
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Uggh, spam. As a lifelong veggie I am struggling to even type the word …
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I’ve always suspected that there isn’t really any real meat in there sooooo….
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Just … matter. Uwk!
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I’ve never tasted it, smelled it, or even looked at it.
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Keep it that way Mike.
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I’d like to try a taste just to say I’ve done it. But I have no desire to buy a whole can just to have a taste.
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You can always offer a review on Amazon and see if they’ll give you a free can?
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It’s actually not bad in very small doses, but if you eat a whole can it will make you feel sick. My first run in with it was I wanted a cheap snack for a movie, and the grocery store was right next to the theater. I’d never had spam so I went with it. I was the only person to see the movie in question at that time, so I got to yell at the screen and eat with no regard for anyone else, because there was no one else!
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Nope, never had anything like that on Amazon probably because I don’t review crap on there. I get ton of music requests through the site, but ignore pretty much all of them. I don’t want to give a crappy review if asked to do a review especially of a new artist. That would suck. I prefer to pick the album myself.
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Yes I agree. At this stage of the game, reviewing albums by request didn’t get me anywhere except a bit of work that I didn’t feel like doing. If I get home from work and only have 90 minutes to write and listen to music, I prefer doing something I personally am moved by.
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this is one of the many reasons why I dig your site. It shows that u truly do enjoy the music u write about. I love that. Thank u so much for doing this site. Ever since I was a kid I’ve been reading album reviews in magazines and now that magazines are a thing of the past I’m so happy that u have the energy to keep up the tradition. Thank you Mike!
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Did you tape the award ceremony when you were inducted into the Hall Of Fame?
Who inducted you? Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson? Trailer Park Boys? Brian Vollmer? Jeff Woods? Kim Mitchell?
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I was inducted by Jeff Bezos himself! It was a beautiful ceremony, you should have been there.
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Unfortunately the invite went to my spam folder.
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BAHAHAHAHAH! This guy!!!
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Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, wonderful spam…
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Wham Bam Thank You Spam!
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LOL
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I remember your early days. If they would have offered you free CDs, then I’d say you wouldn’t have needed a blog, you could’ve just made a hobby of getting free stuff. It’s weird, if you reviewed a ton of books, I’ll bet they’d send you books to read. So why not albums? I don’t get it. And why now, after all this time? When was the last time you even posted an Amazon review?
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I post one or two on Amazon annually. That’s it. I think these spam emails coincided with the Covid pandemic. If memory serves.
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Interesting. You’re part of the matrix!
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I get requests from amazon to help people how are looking to buy a product I bought. The questions are always dumb so I never bother.
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I just got one of those and I almost answered. They wanted to know if those $24 Amazon speakers would work on a TV. I was going to go into detail on how you could do possibly manage to do that, but decided “NAH”.
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Yes! Or, how do I hook up this Sony Blu Ray player to a Samsung TV? I deal enough of these kind of questions at work, lol
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Let some other schmuck answer for free lol.
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Exactly!
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