A sequel to Part 43:  Epilepsy Sucks!

RECORD STORE TALES #1075: Epileptics Will Say the Darndest Things

As a person with seizures that cannot be controlled by medication, my wife Jen has an interesting life.  The seizures are not as bad as they were several years ago, but they still happen regularly a couple times a week.  Lately they’d been pretty mild.  There was a series of them recently that left her unconscious for hours, and she fell three times that night (twice off the bed), but those nights are unusual.  We always must remain vigilant, and pay attention to any signs of coming seizures.  My job is to make sure she’s safe and doesn’t fall or hurt herself.

What is a seizure?  Unusual brain activity can be triggered by flashing lights, or even stress.  This causes Jen to lose consciousness, and sometimes flail her limbs about.  If she’s standing, she falls.  She makes utterances that sound like anything from gibberish to laughing to choking.  Worse things happen too.  It’s scary.  Not gonna lie.  Some people are surprised how calm I seem when they hit.  It’s just experience.

We have learned in our almost 20 years together that you have to have a sense of humour.  When funny things happen, they happen and it should be acknowledged.  For example, after a seizure, Jen’s vision can be extremely distorted and magnified.  She can see details that I can’t, and sometimes things appear incredibly close.  So, when she stared at my nose and proclaimed it “pointy and triangle-shaped”, I had to laugh.  That has to be written down and remembered, because that’s objectively funny.

Recently Jen had an “aura”.  Not quite a seizure, but with similar effects.  Jen is conscious, but in a daze, with similar sensory amplification.  It can be scary for her so I like to just rub her shoulders and talk her through it.  On this particular night, the aura struck just before a hockey game.  I tried to have Jen engage with me, instead of staring off at something scary in the distance.

“Who’s playing tonight?” I asked, gesturing to the TV.

“Team,” she responded simply.  It was the best she could do under the circumstances.

“I know our team [the Leafs] are playing tonight, but who are they playing against?”

“Shitty,” she answered.  I chuckled despite the circumstances.

“Montreal?” I asked her.  The Canadiens are her most hated team.

“Other shitty,” she replied.

“Oh!  Ottawa!” I laughed.

She nodded in the affirmative.

And so, I’m writing this down so we’ll always remember.  You have to laugh!  Yes, the aura left her dazed for hours afterwards, but it is important to find the humour in it.  You can’t let this disease beat you like that.

So laugh!  Find the funny things in life and remember we’re still breathing.

Jen in her Leafs jersey at the beach