My written review of the Darkness’ new album Dreams On Toast will take some time, as there are 29 tracks to discuss. 29 tracks?! Why yes, including the five studio bonus tracks, six live ones, and eight acoustic demos. Nevermind that it’s one of the best new releases of 2025. These things take time!
Don’t worry though. Tim Durling has you covered. On Tim’s Vinyl Confessions, they already reviewed the album, and now I’m here to tell you about the bonus tracks. Let’s rip through ’em all like something that’s hot on your tail. Check this video for all the bonus track details for Dreams On Toast!
Who better to talk about extra songs than Mr. Bonus Tracks himself, namely Mike Ladano of @GrabAStackofRocK! We attempt to sort through the various paths and travels one must make to procure all of the Darkness goodness of 2025. Or something like that.
THE DARKNESS – Permission To Land… Again (2023 Box Set)
Once (and perhaps still) considered one of the biggest jokes in rock*, The Darkness have proven ’em wrong, for it was 20 years ago they dropped this bomb on the world called Permission to Land. Regardless of the ups and downs, the band continues on today with a documentary film in the works. Of course, the obligatory box set was also necessary. Permission to Land… Again collects nearly everything from the era and packs it up for you in a 5 disc set perfect for home consumption. And it’s affordable, too.
CD 1 commences with the original 2003 album, a monolith of Queen and AC/DC’s bastard children, brought to life in spandex and bandanas. The album itself spawned four singles:
“Get Your Hands Off My Woman”, the expletive-laden favourite that still delights today as a fast head banger.
“Growing On Me”, perfectly in the pocket, a melodic hard right classic with just enough bite.
“I Believe In A Thing Called Love”, iridescent and unforgettable as ever, a classic in every sense.
“Love In Only A Feeling”, bombastic and beautiful guitar chords crashing on this prototype for the trademark Darkness ballad. Steve Tyler wishes he could write ’em like this today.
That leaves six killer album tracks, none of which are filler. Opener “Black Shuck” is a monster (literally), rocking heavy and beating the doors down despite your best efforts. “Givin’ Up” should have been a single, but the language, tisk tisk! Foreshadowing Justin Hawkin’s drug issues, this song is literally about “stickin’ that fuckin’ shit” up his nose. Yes it’s surprisingly delightful, and perhaps the most immediately catchy one on the album. “Stuck In A Rut” is different, blasting fast and loud, with Justin singing at max voice. Back to lighter, catchy territory, “Friday Night” is a certain fan-favourite. It easily could have been another single, as Justin literally reads off his weekly schedule. “Monday, cycling, Tuesday, gymnastics, dancing on a Friday night.” Bopping piano accents will keep feet moving. Moving on to “Love On the Rocks With No Ice” (great title), the slow heavy grind smacks you in the head and reminds you this is a rock and roll band. Despite that, the album closes on a lovely ballad “Holding My Own” which also really could have been a single.
CD 1 is beefed out with six extra songs, all demos, of tracks that didn’t make the album and tracks that did. Speaking of which, they are rough but so similar to the final versions. Some have bits that were later trimmed out or de-emphasized, like keyboard overdubs and intros. “Black Shuck”, though without the hard-hitting production, might be better in some ways than the album version, with more twists and vocals. There is also a demo of “Out of My Hands”, a fine album B-side.
The best inclusions on this disc, however, are the surprises: demos that didn’t make Permission to Land! “Live ‘Til I Die” went unreleased until 2019’s Easter Is Cancelled, but this version has Eddie Graham on drums. This version is very, very different. Much more AC/DC and dare I say, much catchier and better. There’a also an early demo of “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us”, which was finally released on 2012’s reunion album Hot Cakes. This one is much more similar to the glossier final product.
CD 2 is a treasure trove of goodies! Every studio B-side from the album, some non-album singles, some “clean” versions that we wouldn’t purposely seek out to buy; they are all here. (The live B-sides are included with their respective shows, but we’ll get to those.) This is comprehensive as heck.
The three tracks from the very rare 2002 EP I Believe In A Thing Called Love are included: the title track, “Love on the Rocks With No Ice” and “Love Is Only A Feeling”. The recordings themselves are the same as the final album versions, but the mixes are not. These earlier mixes have slight, but audible differences and can be characterised as a bit less finished. The bass may be more pronounced on some places, and backing vocals in another.
Like some British bands before them, such as Oasis, The Darkness seemed to put just as much effort into their B-sides, often making them album (or single) worthy on their own. The complete studio B-sides here are:
“The Best Of Me”, a crankin’ rocker with a southern vibe.
The aforementioned “Out of My Hands”, a lighter song with a Def Leppard vibe on the guitars. Could have been a hit in its own right. Brilliant chorus.
Concert favourite “Makin’ Out”, which has more of that AC/DC vibe that the Darkness really mined in their early days. A fan favourite for a reason.
“Physical Sex”, another riffy number with an outrageously high chorus.
The ballad “How Dare You Call This Love?” which also could have been on the album, had it been longer. The actual album had two already. A fun song though, with some lovely Lizzy-ish guitar harmonies.
“The best instrumental that AC/DC never recorded”, according to Tim Durling, is “Bareback”, one of the Darkness’ best B-sides ever…if not their best. Thankfully, this song was not just relegated to the dusky corners of the “Growing On Me” single, but received some live workouts too. More on that later.
A song about building a house, “Planning Permission”, is a bit goofy lyrically (mixing cement!), but it gets goofier still as you’ll see. Fortunately it’s a catchy, upbeat Darkness number that has all their trademark guitar and vocal accoutrements.
“Curse of the Tolland Man” is the goofiest of them all, a ghost story, and a song that gets trashed in the liner notes as awful muck, but is defended by Justin and Dan Hawkins as a favourite. The jury remains out, but they are all correct about it.
“I Love You 5 Times” is another ballad, but by this time we’re technically heading outside album territory. Forgettable, but for the strings and Justin’s silly “m-m-m-meees” stuttery vocals. It was actually the B-side to a standalone Christmas single, “Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End)”, an excellent song in its own right.
This box set is so comprehensive that it even includes the two singles that were not from it.
“Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End)“…don’t Google what “bell end” means in British slang. Let’s just say Justin had his tongue in cheek! Great rocker, very Lizzy, and an absolutely Darkness classic. Produced by Bob Ezrin! This track was included on some European editions of the album as a bonus.
Then we have the rarest of them all, and finally available physically for us to buy: 2004’s “Get Your Hands Off My Woman…Again“. Though it does have Frankie Poullain on bass, this song is more a part of the story for the second album, One Way Ticket. The band were experimenting with producer Roy Thomas Baker and this remake was sold digitally. It is here in both “clean” and “explicit” versions. A cleaner, sharper incarnation of the song, for better or worse! The liner notes finally explain the mystery of the added piano part: It was inspired by Ben Folds’ cover of the song, which they thought was an improvement!
CDs 3 and 4 contain three live gigs, and the balance of the B-sides from this era. “Gimme a D! Gimme an Arkness!”
The 2003 set at Knebworth is brilliant. Opening with “Growing On Me”, the band has a bizarre and comedic stage presence, but the song kicks! They are a tight band, and a beat is not missed. They play two B-sides, a manic “The Best of Me” (for dancing, says Justin) and the classic “Makin’ Out”. “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” from the Knebworth concert was previously issued on a German version of the Christmas single. I like when Justin asks the audience which version of “Get Your Hands Off My Woman” they’d like to hear, clean or dirty?
On the same disc is a set from the Astoria in 2003. Opening with a raging “Bareback”, this set is even better than the Knebworth one. What a start! Instrumentals can make a pretty killer opener! From there it’s “Black Shuck”, and a live version of “Get Your Hands Off My Woman” that was previously issued as a B-side to a rare DVD single for “Love Is Only A Feeling”. It’s notable for the strange “me-me-me” singalong thing Justin does at the end. Another thing they do in this set is something called “Buffet”, a pretty cool riff, from a part in the show that is explained in the booklet.
Best of all: The action-packed Astoria and Knebworth shows are both included on DVD inside. Watch Dan play all the guitars so Justin can do the splits! The DVD also includes all the music videos, outtakes and behind-the-scenes footage from their music videos. There’s a cute bit in the EPK (electronic press kit) explaining why Justin always asked the audience to see their thumbs. The editing on the Astoria show is absurdly fast!
CD 4 is a full-length show from 2004 at Wembley recorded on Dan’s birthday, and the last show on the tour. It’s especially cool, because the band were already road-testing new songs from One Way Ticket. Opener “Grief Hammer” was a new song that would become a B-side in 2005. It has a stuttery riff with elements of that AC/DC vibe, but the band were clearly moving beyond that pigeonhole. It takes balls to open a set at Wembley with a new song that nobody had heard before. From there they visit more familiar territory with the favourite “Givin’ Up”. A manic “Stuck In A Rut” blasts out immediately afterwards.
Other B-sides played at Wembley include the fan favourite “Makin’ Out”, “Physical Set” and that “Buffet” again! Future classics “Dinner Lady Arms” and “Seemed Like A Good Idea at the Time” are rolled out alongside the hits. “Dinner Lady Arms” is a tad harder than the soft-Leppard style of the later version, though the chorus still soars into the stratosphere. “Seemed Like Such A Good Idea at the Time” is presented without introduction, and Justin on piano with a more spare arrangement than the elaborate album version to come. This is more power ballad, and less experiment in extravagance.
As the 17 song set rolls through classics and hits, it’s clear this disc could be a standalone live album if the band choose to release it as such. Great banter, and the band were obviously having a blast on stage. At the end, there are two more surprises. One is an abbreviated cover of “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” by Band Aid, performed solo by Justin on piano. Finally, they close the show with a bombastic “Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End)”, which works brilliantly in the end slot. There is no feigning joy and surprise here. All the delight is pure and genuine.
The final ingredient you need in a box set such as this is a kickass booklet with loads of reading. Look no further, as Dan and Justin exhaustively tell the story from session to session and song to song. The stories will keep you in stitches as the band shed light on things you never knew before. Eddie Graham was the most “normal” one of the bunch, but they have survived it all, and the Darkness keep going!
We live in the age of box sets. The Darkness have risen to the occasion with, dare I say it, the perfect version of Permission To Land. Will they pull this trick again in the future with One Way Ticket? They should, because they have demonstrated an understanding of what makes a great box set. In short:
Complete collection of B-sides, even from formats as obscure as DVD single.
The rare demos and EP versions we’ve been wanting.
Non-album singles.
Even those clean versions that we normally wouldn’t try too hard to collect.
Live concerts.
Extensive liner notes.
DVD with added value and live shows.
Reasonable pricing and packaging.
5/5 stars
* One evening in 2003, I was listening to the Darkness with my girlfriend in my living room, late at night, heavily intoxicated. I suddenly jumped and said “I get it! These guys are not a joke at all! They are dead serious about what they are doing! Listen! Just listen!” It was an epiphany and I was right.
BONUS! Check out Tim and I discussing this box set and more!
The band’s newest album One Way Ticket To Hell…and Back was really resonating with me. It was the kind of triumphant rock that felt appropriate as I started my new life, post-store. Uplifting. Carefree. Nostalgic. I had a Darkness shirt with their logo in silver scroll. I was downloading rare live tracks from Limewire and buying imported singles. All the stuff that properly qualifies a person as a “fan”, but with the additional emotional kick that this was “my” band. I didn’t know anyone else who liked them. Well, there was one. I had just met Jen, my future wife. In her CD collection was a copy of Permission to Land.
Two weeks after quitting the store I was back in the workforce. I had what I wanted: a boring job! There were several days straight of just make photocopies. Nobody to talk to, and with the clanky-clank of the copying drowning me out, I passed the time by singing. Specifically, I sang my favourite Darkness tunes.
The most attractive tunes have the biggest and most bombastic choruses it seems. Huge drum fills, big multi-layered vocals, and all the trimmings. Songs like “Dinner Lady Arms”.
I used to be able to come close to hitting the notes. Just approximating the correct intonation, because who the fuck cared? Nobody could hear me.
Also on the playlist: “Hazel Eyes”, “One Way Ticket”, “Growing On Me”, “Givin’ Up”, and “Friday Night”.
I made a Darkness “Greatest Hits” CD with all those tracks, a bunch of great B-sides, and couple bootleg live tracks. The best of which was a ragged live take of “Givin’ Up”, sadly now lost. That’s the problem with downloads. In the golden glow of memory, it was the best version of the song ever!
Sadly, the Darkness were hitting a rough patch. Justin Hawkins went to rehab to clean up, and then quit the band afterwards. In shock, the band looked inward to new bassist Richie Edwards (who replaced original Frankie Poullain). His surprisingly powerful rasp was perfect for a new start. They reconfigured themselves as the heavier Stone Gods, while Justin launched his new band Hot Leg. In this battle, Hot Leg sounded more like the Darkness, while the Stone Gods had a stronger album in hand.
Lineup changes continued to ensue. Original Darkness drummer Ed Graham left the Stone Gods due to ill health, and was replaced by Robin Goodridge, formerly of Bush. This left guitarist Dan Hawkins as the only Stone Gods member that had been in the Darkness. Regardless, they managed to record a second, more stripped down album. This second album was never released, because suddenly in 2011, the original lineup of the Darkness was back!
The comeback album Hot Cakes returned the band to their classic sound. Most importantly, it was only the first in a series of great albums, the best of which might be 2015’s Last of Our Kind. The title track of which is the most quintessentially “Darkness” of any song they have released since their debut. The music video features Justin Hawkins at his most Freddie, and a new drummer: Rufus Tiger Taylor, son of Queen’s Roger. Talk about rock royalty!
Not to ignore the important contributions of Emily Dolan Davies, who played drums on the album and in the music video for “Open Fire”. As an in-demand session drummer, Davies was praised by Justin as having “revitalized” the band with her hard-hitting style. Since her departure, Rufus has held down the drum stool on Pinewood Smile, Easter is Cancelled and the forthcoming Motorheart.
That’s right. The Darkness have a new album coming. They may or may not have doomed us to a long pandemic with the prophetic Easter is Cancelled, but they sure are going to rock us anyway.
THE STONE GODS – Silver Spoons & Broken Bones (2008 Pias UK)
…and from the ashes of the beast came The Stone Gods, and they did lay waste to the land.
The “beast” from whose ashes that the Gods rose was The Darkness, an extremely talented band who were looked upon (either fairly or unfairly, you decide) as a novelty act. They split in twain, with singer Justin Hawkins forming the very Darkness-sounding Hot Leg. The rest of the band (guitarist and brother Dan Hawkins, drummer Ed Graham, and bassist Richie Edwards) stuck it out and renamed themselves The Stone Gods. Edwards, a fine singer in his own right, dropped the bass and became the frontman. New member Toby MacFarlaine was brought in on bass.
The lead single “Burn The Witch” was shocking in its metal ferocity. This was not expected from 3/4 of the Darkness.
What made this band special is twofold. First, the undeniable writing talents of Dan and the band, proving that Justin was not the be-all and end-all of the Darkness. Second, the voice of Richie Edwards. He truly has his own unique voice, something unusual in today’s soundalike music scene. It is part Bon Scott, part Halford, with a little bit of early raspy Joe Elliot thrown in, and 100% awesome. As a frontman, he was no Justin, but who is? (Nobody!)
The band stuck solidly to a hard rock/heavy metal direction. Ed Graham’s got his trademark cave-man drum fills, and it fits like a glove. Dan’s guitar howls and shrieks like a thing possessed. Above it all, Richie wails. These songs rock. Some, like “Defend or Die” and “Burn the Witch” are scorchers. Others are hard rock classics. Three tracks in particular fully qualify as Darkness-level rock anthems. “Where You Comin’ From”, “Start of Something”, and “Wasting Time” each boast numerous hooks and arena-level choruses. A track like “Wasting Time” has suitable weekend-ready lyrics.
My friends have all joined the rat race It’s all suits, shirts and novelty ties I’m not a fan of retirement plans I refuse to change my way of life
Just about every song here is a winner; no losers. It is important to note, however, that the album takes a turn for the lighter around the halfway point. Indeed, the first three songs are a pure metal bludgeon. After that, a few early-Def Leppard moments are thrown in (“Making It Hard”). However it is never out of place, never too soft, never embarrassing. It is simply a good time. A well-rounded rock album with fists-a-flying, then a smoke break, and then some ass-kicking. If you’re wondering why it sounds so good, I blame Canadian engineer Mike Fraser, who just nailed it.
Shortly after the album’s release, Ed Graham departed and was replaced by Robin Goodridge of Bush fame. That’s him in the video for “Start of Something”. This great lineup recorded a yet-to-released second album. But the Hawkins brothers could not be kept apart. Robin returned to Bush, and the Darkness have enjoyed a very successful second era with brothers Dan and Justin back in action together once again.
Dan has indicated that the second Stone Gods album will eventually see release. If so, then this debut truly was the “Start of Something”.
THE DARKNESS – Easter is Cancelled(2019 Canary Dwarf, Japanese release)
I’m baffled. I’m truly baffled this time, and I’ve followed The Darkness through thick and thin! From brightest days to darkest nights. From Stone Gods to Hot Leg. And for the first time, The Darkness have thrown me for a loop.
Easter is Cancelled sounds like their rock opera, their big concept album, with gentle acoustics turning into loud bombast. It looks brilliant on paper, but in practice it sounds more like Tenacious D. That’s it — this isn’t a Darkness album. This is what the D should have released instead of whatever Post-Apocalypto was.
Where I used to shout with glee as one gleaming riff gave way to another and then another, now I hear only fragments. Only portions of great tunes, not completely brilliant tracks front to back. The top track is actually one of the bonus songs, called “Different Eyes”. The guitar work on Easter Is Cancelled is consistently stunning, at least.
This review has been painfully hard to write. I take no pleasure in this. It took months of agonising to get here. I don’t want to hate The Darkness. I want to embrace them — all four of them! — with open arms and heart. Perhaps one day, I will again. With all due apologies to Justin, Dan, Frankie and Rufus, this one wasn’t for me.
2/5 stars
I would be neglecting my rock and roll duty if I didn’t report on the Japanese bonus track, “Dancing House”. It’s only a minute long and it’s…umm…about people dropping in for a party. It sounds like bad B-52’s. Really bad B-52’s. I cannot discern its purpose or reason to exist.
THE DARKNESS – “Love Is Only a Feeling” (2004 Warner UK CD and DVD singles)
Collecting singles isn’t as easy as just buying the single anymore. Which versions are out there, with what tracks? The Darkness’ singles are usually interesting for the different bonus tracks and variations out there. Their hit ballad “Love Is Only a Feeling” was available on CD, DVD and 7″ vinyl. You only need the CD and DVD to get all the tracks, but there’s a catch: the DVD is in PAL format (common in Europe), so you need a player that can decode it.
No problem. LeBrain HQ has a collection of frankenstein multi-media tech that can convert the most popular physical formats into something easier to play! It’s not a pretty setup but it gets the job done. All the tracks from all the versions of “Love is Only a Feeling” can be compiled in a single file folder!
As far as ballads go, The Darkness didn’t wimp out with “Love is Only a Feeling”. The Lizzy-like intro harmonies meld into an acoustic mandolin verse. A bombastic band like the Darkness is at home with a bombastic ballad, but early Darkness didn’t use a lot of frills and extraneous instrumentation. “Love is Only a Feeling” doesn’t go overboard, but sticks to pretty a traditional rock arrangement. You can blast it out the car windows — no problem.
The first of the single B-sides is “Planning Permission”, an unpolished song that almost stands with the ones that did make it onto Permission to Land. It could use a little more tightening up but the roots of a good song are there. Next is the bizarre “Curse of the Tollund Man”. It might even be considered educational. The actual mummy of the Tollund Man was found buried in peat as described in the song. It sounds like the Darkness were really trying to write a Queen B-side. It’s amusing but all over the place.
The music video for “Love is Only a Feeling” is the main feature of the DVD single. I’m a sucker for mountaintop videos. “Love Is Only a Feeling” is almost as epic as the Bon Jovi and Guns N’ Roses clips that came before . Then, they take it over the top by going under the ground, in a cave! A behind-the-scenes video reveals safety ropes, helicopters and elevated platforms to heighten the drama.
The real reason to seek the DVD single is to acquire the final bonus track, “Get Your Hands Off My Woman” live at the Astoria. The action-packed track features Dan Hawkins on all guitars, so Justin can jump around and do the splits. Vintage live Darkness with the original lineup is scarce, as far as official releases go. This live Darkness is full speed, filmed in the raw. It doesn’t matter if you get it for watching or just listening. It’s a great version.
If you’re fortunate enough to play DVDs from multiple regions, the singles are usually dirt cheap on Discogs. This one even came with a poster! DVD singles were a fad and never really caught on. They can, however, patch some holes in your Darkness collection.
THE DARKNESS – One Way Ticket to Hell… and Back (2005 Atlantic)
It was pins and needles, waiting for the new Darkness album in 2005. First Mutt Lange was said to be the producer. Then it was Roy Thomas Baker, who got a test drive on the 2004 remake of “Get Your Hands Off My Woman…Again”. With guys like that at the control panel, you knew the Darkness were going to do something epic. Unfortunately, some people just wanted more of the same Permission To Land style of fun but hard rock. Those folks didn’t want flutes, strings or gui-boards.
“The new Darkness…sucks,” said one of my bosses when I walked in to work at the Record Store one afternoon in late December. We had just received our shipment. “In one song, all he does is sing, ‘I love what you’ve done with your hair,’ over and over again,” complained the boss, who loved raining on my parade. My opinion of the album was the polar opposite.
There’s little question that the band took it too far. Justin Hawkins was knee-deep in drugs and an infatuation with the 80s. One Way Ticket to Hell …And Back is like a busy, manic snapshot of that period in time. The band fired off in all directions, with pompous and bombastic kitchen-sink production backing them up. Bassist Frankie Poullain was also out (the usual “creative differences”) and replaced by the uber-talented Richie Edwards.
The over-production is certainly an issue, especially when so many were attracted to the raw sound of the Darkness. The shrill title track opens with flutes and Gregorian monks, and then Justin takes a snort. “The first line hit me like a kick in the face. Thought I better have another just in case.” A nice thick riff is joined to a soaring multi-layered chorus for that classic Darkness formula. Then the acoustics and a sitar kicks in, because what else do you need on a song about excess? The coke and money must have been flowing right through that recording studio. (At least they saved a little money on the sitar. They didn’t have to hire a player, since Justin could do it. They did hire a flautist.)
“And I love what you’ve done with your hair!” screams Justin on the song that is (obviously) called “Knockers”. It’s pure pop rock with piano, keyboards and slide guitar for that necessary excess. “Is It Just Me?” (a single) strips things down to the basics, because you have to have a few songs like that too. Then we get hysterical on “Dinner Lady Arms”, a Def Leppard song at heart. Justin’s soaring high chorus was far beyond the Leps, but Phil Collen could have written that riff.
Permission to Land ended its first side with a ballad (“Love is Only a Feeling”) and so the formula was repeated here. “Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time” is similar but just as good, embellished with strings and piano. The most epic song, however, is “Hazel Eyes”. The side two opener boasts full-on bagpipes and an indescribable high-pitched Celtic chorus! Everything gels. The pompous overindulgence, and the pure Darkness sound, are mixed to chemical perfection. It also features that signature Eddie Graham drum fill. Boom-boom-boom-boom, BAP!
There’s a brief stumble here. “Bald” is an amusing song, rocking slow and hard, but lacking that je ne sais quoi that could have made it unforgettable. Then Justin swerves a little too far into pop with the disco-like “Girlfriend“, complete with gui-board solo and the highest notes known to humankind. A brilliant single it is, but perhaps an example of the Darkness going too far off course on an album that is already overflowing with excess. Then again, perhaps it’s actually the right song for an album like this. Where else would you put it?
As we close in on the end, “English Country Garden” fires on with a speedy piano rock jam. It’s like taking a Queen LP and turning the speed up to 45. Finally “Blind Man” is the closing ballad to takes things to their logical ends. You will hear no discernible rock instruments, just the strings and woodwinds of an orchestra, for almost the whole thing. That was really the end way to end an album this bombastic. Appropriately, Justin’s vocals are similarly taken to the extreme.
You have to admire The Darkness for just going for it. They could have done Permission to Land Part II, just by leaving out the excess. They didn’t. We knew they were going to go balls to the wall when they were briefly working with Mutt Lange. You don’t work with Mutt Lange unless you want every note under the microscope. There are a lot of notes on One Way Ticket, and each one sounds like it was painstakingly created in sterile perfection. And that’s fine. That’s one method of getting there. One Way Ticket was the “experimental” second album, and like any other, it’s both baffling and charismatic in extreme measures.
THE DARKNESS – Live at Hammersmith(2018 Canary Dwarf)
“Gimme a D! Gimme an arkness!” It’s long overdue, but the world is now the better for it: the first live album by The Darkness! Including a few quality B-sides, The Darkness had enough strong songs for a live album back in 2006. Time waits for no band, but now they’ve got an even hotter selection of hits and deep cuts to draw from, and Live at Hammersmith boasts 19 of ’em on a single CD. Sorry Japan, no bonus tracks for you.
All five Darkness albums and some classic non-LP singles are sourced, and what a collection it is. A lot of the newer material on stage consist of the heaviest songs: “Buccaneers of Hispaniola”, “Southern Trains” and “Barbarian” are like lead, but propelled at the speed of sound! The oldies span all shades of Darkness, from the hardest cut stones (“Black Shuck”) to the cushioning of a ballad (“Love is Only a Feeling”).
It seems to be, by and large, all the best stuff. “Givin’ Up”, “Growing On Me”, “One Way Ticket”, “Friday Night”, and the two big hits “Get Your Hands off My Woman” and “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” are present and accounted for. The last three albums are also represented, and as good as they are, it’s the old stuff that thrills most.
That includes “Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End)” from this seasonal Hammersmith gig. Maybe it’s those giant dual guitars, but this one has always seemed to work all year ’round. It’s just a glorified Thin Lizzy riff with a high-pitched singer, and that works winter, spring, summer and fall.
Speaking of the singer, Justin Hawkins has maintained his one-of-a-kind voice and range over all these years, unlike virtually every other homo sapiens on the planet. Let’s start a conspiracy theory right here that he is an alien, because the voice is just inhuman.
Would have loved “Last of Our Kind”, though that’s a minor complaint.
Hammersmith fell to the Darkness that night. Now you can relive it in your headphones, or home theatre, as it were.
THE DARKNESS – Pinewood Smile (2017 Canary Dwarf Japanese printing)
Please welcome Rufus Tiger Taylor to the drum kit! Son of Roger Taylor (the guy from The Darkness’ biggest influence, Queen), I think we can assume this kid knows his way around a drum set. It’s the third drummer in three albums for The Darkness. Original member Eddie Graham was on board for Hot Cakes (2013), but he was replaced by Emily Dolan Davies for Last of Our Kind (2015).
The Darkness are The Darkness are The Darkness — don’t expect them to ditch the operatic vocals or bombastic arrangements. Pinewood Smile is more of what fans love, perhaps turned up just a little bit louder than before. Indeed, the second track “Buccaneers of Hispaniola” sounds like The Darkness have been listening to a lot of Queen II on maximum volume. “Japanese Prisoner of Love” has similar epic Queen inspirations, but melded to a momentous thrash metal riff.
Their penchant for humour remains unabated. “And we’re never gonna stop shitting out solid gold!” sings Justin Hawkins on one radio-ready rock tune. “Southern Trains” features the truism “There are fucking assholes everywhere.” We must assume the trains in the south of England are shite: “Fuck you, southern trains, we’re not getting anywhere!”
Of course, what would a Darkness album be without a few ballads? It can’t be all heaviness and gloom. “Why Don’t the Beautiful Cry?” is a quite lovely acoustic Darkness ballad. Bright and sunny “Happiness” is the gleeful mood of early Darkness returned. There are a number of exceptional diverse tracks as well, that defy categorisation. “I Wish I Was in Heaven” and “Lay Down With Me Barbara” stretch out, incorporating different elements both hard and soft, but always catchy as the plague. The standard album closer “Stampede of Love” is a folksy “Blackbird”-ish duet with Justin and Dan Hawkins…but stay tuned for a manic unlisted coda!
On to the bonus tracks — four on the deluxe edition, five on the Japanese. These are a little stranger than the standard album tracks. What is a “Uniball”? Ummm…it’s when you have to have one testicle surgically removed. Yes, The Darkness wrote a heavy metal song about it. B-side worthy “Rack of Glam” is a decent pun with a punchy chorus. “Seagulls” is quite exceptional, highlighted by mandolins and a slight celtic flavour. Maybe the subtitle “Losing My Virginity” is why it ended up as a bonus track. Also brilliant is “Rock in Space”, the most pompous and bombastic track of the group.
The Japanese exclusive track is a demo of “Why Don’t the Beautiful Cry?”, which is a real treat. Stripped back to just the basic acoustic arrangement, you can really just listen to Justin and Dan harmonising. No drums, no bass. Even though it’s just a demo, you can choose which version of “Why Don’t the Beautiful Cry?” is your favourite, because both have merits.
What Pinewood Smile lacks, compared to previous Darkness albums, is an immediately loveable pop rock standout track. Something like “She Just a Girl, Eddie” or “Last of Our Kind”. Pinewood Smile doesn’t have those kinds of songs, but hopefully this means we’ll still be listening to it a year or two later.
THE DARKNESS – Last of Our Kind (2015 Canary Dwarf deluxe holiday edition)
If there is one thing we collectors hate, it’s buying a rare collectible version of an album, only to see it reissued later with more tracks! I waited ages to get the Japanese printing of the brand-new Darkness album Last of Our Kind, featuring two bonus tracks. Now, just in time for Christmas, the Darkness have released a seasonal deluxe edition, with four bonus tracks this time, and special packaging that looks like Darkness wrapping paper being torn open to reveal the CD inside. Even so, I had to order this CD in from Europe.
This counts as your annual seasonalcontent here at mikeladano.com, and it’s my only seasonal content this year! Humbug. Unusually for a seasonal post, this one is 100% rock!
Buying the album twice hurt a little bit less because it’s really, really good. The Darkness have quality standards, and they have not dropped between albums. They also had a new member, the talented drummer Emily Dolan Davies, who sadly couldn’t stick around and has since been replaced by Rufus Tiger Taylor, son of Queen sticksman Roger Taylor. Emily plays on all tracks herein, and she does so seamlessly. On first spin it would be hard to tell that original drummer Eddie Graham wasn’t around anymore.
Laden with the screams of flighting Vikings, “Barbarian” opens the album heavier than expected. “Barbarian” storms the gates, leaving trails of blood behind it, but fear not! “Open Fire” is fast n’ catchy hard rock n’ roll, the way the Darkness has always done it. The high vocals are toned down, with Justin Hawkins singing in his normal voice for most of it. His throat has acquired a little bit of grit to it (light sandpaper only) which he uses effectively on “Open Fire”, which would have been a hit had it come out 10 years ago.
The very best track on the album is #3, the title track, boasting one of those Darkness choruses that has become their trademark and strength. “Last of Our Kind” rings down as the highlight album and indeed one of the best songs to come out in 2015. Just like he did in the days of yore, Justin lets his voice rip, while laying down Lizzy-like guitar harmonies with his brother Dan. If singles were a still a thing, this would be the one. You’ll notice how Davies accents the song on drums the way Ed Graham used to. She doesn’t overplay, but she punctuates it where it has to be.
Rather than having used up all their ammunition on these first three great tracks, The Darkness have plenty more shells in the belt. “Roaring Waters” is a mid-tempo groove, and almost lacklustre except for that slippery Hawkins riff. Then you need a ballad, so you get a ballad: “Wheels of the Machine”. It’s not as pompous as “Love is Only a Feeling”, but still has the golden Justin voice that makes their ballads either unique or unpalatable, depending on your tastes. I say, turn it up. You’ll especially want it loud on “Mighty Wings”, which has a neat spacey 80’s sci-fi keyboard intro. Don’t be mistaken, for “Mighty Wings” rocks with a groove so chunky that neck strain is a real danger.
“This ain’t no double entendre. This ain’t no euphemism. This is real life.” Well hey, a mudslide is a weird subject for a song, but that’s what “Mudslide” appears to be about! “It’s a fuckin’ mudslide!” says Justin, to reiterate his point, after lamenting the loss of his “dear beloved gazebo” in the natural disaster. Fortunately, this song kicks lots and lots of ass. I wonder how many song lyrics reference a gazebo? “Sarah O’Sarah” has a vaguely celtic feel due to the mandolin. It’s an album highlight, sounding much like the Darkness’ second LP, One Way Ticket. Davies proves her mettle on the chorus section, a gallop of percussion that frankly Eddie Graham didn’t seem to have the chops to do. “Hammer & Tongs” shares its pop-chorus bent, but has some juicy slide guitar backing it up. There is even a slight Stones vibe in the gee-tars. The proper album ends on “Conquerors”, a ballad that serves as the dramatic pompous outro, featuring Dan Hawkins taking the lead vocals.
This deluxe CD continues on, with four bonus tracks, the first two of which are also on the pricier Japanese import version. “Messenger” and “Always Had the Blues” are fine as bonus tracks, with “Messenger” being album quality (and then some). Lush vocals from the back create swirls of melody that stick in your ear like gum in your hair! The real gem among the bonus tracks is the newbie “Million Dollar Strong”, which has a sweet 80’s riff (think Dokken) and a horn section for added oomph! The fourth track is their second Christmas single, “I Am Santa”. With an obvious “Do They Know It’s Christmas” bassline and beat, plenty of folks will find a nostalgic glow on this one. I especially like the line referencing “Ferrero Rocher”, a candy I always look forward to every Christmas. Like the chocolates, “I Am Santa” is sweet and delightful.
My only disappointment: 2013’s non-album single “The Horn” was not included as a bonus track. That leaves it frustratingly unreleased on a physical format.
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