horror

GUEST FILM REVIEW: Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) – Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza 2024 part 5

HALLOWEEN III:  SEASON OF THE WITCH (1982 Universal)

Directed by Tommy Lee Wallace

I’m sure most of you know by now that Halloween was supposed to be an anthology series, but the first film proved so popular the studio wanted Michael Meyers back for the sequel, and got him. This third entry was supposed to right the ship with a whole new story, but after two films with Michael, fans just couldn’t accept this and the movie was critically and commercially panned at release. Philistines!

Decades later the movie has had a bit of a resurgence, with plenty of loyal fans flocking to it every autumn. If you go into it thinking of it as Season of the Witch as opposed to Halloween III, it might help you appreciate the many merits of this film. It may make me a horror pariah, but it’s my favorite in the series. I’ve never been crazy about the original. I think Bob Clark did the same concept better years earlier in Black Christmas. The other Halloween sequels range from fine to shit to fucking shit.

Absolute legend Tom Atkins takes over for Jamie Lee Curtis as protagonist in this outing, playing an alcoholic doctor who’s also a licentious Lothario. There’s nary a woman in this movie he doesn’t or hasn’t previously screwed. Age, race, relationship status matter not to this man. He’s an equal opportunity womanizer, and that’s why we love him.

The mystery begins when a crazed man being chased runs into his hospital spouting incoherent nonsense, only to be assassinated by a man who blows himself up to avoid further questioning. His buxom young daughter shows up to investigate, and Tom abandons his kids on Halloween and ignores his estranged wife to get to the bottom of this young… I mean… the bottom of the mystery.

Signs point toward an Irish Halloween mask company. Spooky witchcraft, sacrificial rites, and robots abound in honor of Samhain. I always liked that this took the series in a new direction of horror. A kind of mystery thriller instead of a slasher, with a healthy dose of ‘80s camp. Even with the camp, the villainous old man from Robocop’s plan is remarkably sinister. I don’t remember Michael being willing to kill kids; this guy’s taking out thousands of those little fucks.

I find it hard to articulate why I get a kick out of this one so much. I suppose I have a weak spot for older, overweight, alcoholic, grizzled guy protagonists being incredibly politically incorrect by today’s standards. See also Nick Nolte in 48 Hours and George C. Scott in just about everything. Tom Atkins’ character is in that studied tradition, although a steady influx of vaginal variety seems to keep him from being as world-weary as the aforementioned.

Season of the Witch is a perfectly solid horror film, and I’m convinced it’s abysmal reputation is solely due to fans expecting more Michael bullshit. The Carpenter score slaps, the cinematography is vibrant and colorful, and the story progresses logically, however absurd it gets at points. Watch it, or Harrison will curse you with the scent of cabbage.

4/5

GUEST FILM REVIEW: Terrifier 3 (2024) – Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza 2024 part 3

TERRIFIER 3 (2024)

Directed by Damien Leone

Since I’ve been covering horror films of old the last two weeks, I thought it apt to cover one more contemporary. As contemporary as it gets as a matter of fact, as I just got out of an opening night showing a few hours before writing this. If you’re unfamiliar with the Terrifier saga, it focuses on serial killer/demonic supernatural entity Art the Clown. Initially appearing in short films and an anthology, he was granted a feature length excursion in 2016, the little indie movie that could, Terrifier. Made for around just $50,000, the film was panned critically, but garnered enough of a cult following to warrant a sequel.

Terrifier 2 was released in 2022 with a budget of just a quarter of a million dollars. However, the film was a surprise hit, making fifteen million dollars at the box office and garnering a number of positive reviews. Fifteen million may not sound like a lot these days, but bear in mind that this is an independent film series so violent that each entry has been released unrated.

And oh: the violence. Director Damien Leone received offers from major studios after the success of the second film to finance the third, but he had the integrity to turn them all down because he knew they’d try to censor his vision. These films make standard slasher flicks look like Walt Disney. Reports of people fainting, vomiting, and leaving the theaters in droves have accompanied the release of each film. None of that happened at my screening of Terrifier 3. The place was packed and people were glued to their seats. I was amused at how many guys were there with reluctant looking dates, possibly getting their girlfriends back for dragging them to something like Anyone But You earlier this year in the cruelest way possible.

It’s not all gruesome macabre gore though. These movies have a spirited sense of humor, and they’re only getting stronger each time out. Art is mute, but unlike other slasher villains, he’s incredibly emotive. David Howard Thorton imbues his performance with the grace, physicality, and body language of a silent film star, leading to moments of genuine hilarity. Whether he’s mocking his suffering victims or eroding their guard before hacking them to pieces, Thorton is perfect and totally committed. I was worried they wouldn’t be able to top sadistic comedy of the salt and bleach scene from 2, but I’m happy to report I laughed as much during 3 than I have at any comedy I’ve seen in years.

 

 

Another impressive aspect of 2 and 3 is the introduction of Sienna Shaw in the former film as the main protagonist. Played by real life martial artist, stunt performer, smokeshow, and general badass Lauren LaVera, we’re gifted a likable character to root for against Art. I say this is impressive because the film manages to have its cake and eat it too. A criticism levied at many slasher movies is that the one dimensional personalities of the victims makes the audience root for the killer, or at least see the movie through their point of view. The film does have its number of anonymous one dimensional meat bags for Art to cut through, but we have someone fundamentally good (angelic even) we hope to see triumph over him. Only after watching him creatively waste the supporting cast of course.

Art disposed of most of Sienna’s friends and family in a Halloween massacre during the second film, and she’s understandably having a hard time coping with that at the beginning of this one. Taking place five years after the previous film, Art being believed dead, Sienna is discharged from a mental institution to the care of her aunt and uncle where she hopes to spend a quiet Christmas with them and her young cousin, Gabbie. Art, who’s simply been dormant, is awakened in a condemned building by a demolition crew. Dispersing them in skin peeling fashion, he now has access to their van and all the goodies inside it.

Lauren LaVera crushes it here. She played a high schooler in one of those high schools where everyone looks like they’re pushing 30 in Terrifier 2, but here she’s convincing as a traumatized woman that fights every moment to stay strong for those around her. Haunted by violent hallucinations of the people she couldn’t save, LaVera navigates the precarious balancing act of portraying a damaged character that still has her innate toughness.

There are supernatural elements to Art and Sienna explored more in this film I don’t intend to spoil here. The imagery is not subtle, but in a film like this, subtle doesn’t really play. I’ve heard criticism that the plot is somewhat aimless compared to the first two with the addition of all the additional mythos. I can understand boring people considering some of Art’s kills to be unnecessary from an economic writing standpoint, but one of the main reasons people see these movies is for the spectacle of those inventively grotesque murders. Being so hyper-focused on plot is missing the forest for the trees. Besides, Art being on screen is guaranteed gold every time, and I was never bored or felt like the story was dragging when we cut to Sienna, because I liked her as a character and wanted her to prevail.

Admittedly, you need the right mindset or physical constitution to endure or enjoy this thing. Maybe I’m a sick fuck, but I had an absolute blast seeing this in the theater. So far each film has been a step up from its predecessor, and its cliffhanger ending has me excited for part four whenever it’s released. Damien Leone has assembled a group of very talented people, and his direction rises to their level. The film has reportedly already earned fifteen million dollars, which I hope ensures the production of the next one.

4/5

GUEST FILM REVIEW: Pieces (1982) – Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza 2024 part 2

PIECES (1982 Almena Films)

Directed by Juan Piquer Simón

Here’s a video that nasty casual horror fans may not know. Too hardcore for the UK, Pieces is a Spanish-American slasher gore fest, one of the most violent of the ’80s. Fortunately, the film mitigates the viscera with a cheeky sense of humor. By no means would I call it a horror/comedy, but it does sacrifice logic and plot consistency for entertainment. I still have no idea how one suspect is cleared of being the killer; he just shows up free of the police a few scenes later and everyone acts like it’s normal.

Much of the humor comes from poor taste: extremely poor taste. The opening scene presents us with a young boy completing a pornographic puzzle, then butchering his abusive mother with an axe before dismembering her body. When the police arrive, the boy is witty and manipulative enough to pretend to be traumatized and oblivious. It’s a nice touch when your slasher is smart enough to stay out of jail or the loony bin.

The plot picks up decades after the opening scene at a college where the students have a nasty habit of getting disembowelled in creative ways. The cops send in an undercover operative (Mary “the MILF” Riggs) to be the women’s tennis instructor, and keep an eye out for the killer. She’s aided by the one student in the know, Kendall James. Kendall also desperately wants to get in Mary’s tennis shorts, despite the huge age gap.

Graphic hijinks ensue as they piece together the mystery while more bodies drop. One murder leads into an acting moment so astonishingly powerful, it brings tears to my eyes to this day.

And the word “bastard” will send me into a fit of hysterical laughter forevermore. The plot in a film like this doesn’t matter much. You can probably figure out who the real killer is in the first ten minutes. That’s never been the appeal of a video nasty though. As schlocky, stringy, sinewy entertainment, it does its job well. The kills are some of the best of the decade, it’s funny both intentionally and unintentionally, and it’s got that low budget grime that your Halloweens and Friday the 13ths don’t that only make the film feel that much naughtier. Give it a shot if you’ve got the stomach!

3.5/5

GUEST FILM REVIEWS: Alice Cooper’s Top Five Horror Films – Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza 2024

Welcome boys and ghouls to Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza 2024! Throughout the month of October, yours truly will be supplying you with reviews of hellish horror every week. We begin with not one film, but five! I’ve decided to review Alice Cooper’s top 5 horror films according to an interview in NME.

In order to avoid a mammoth length approximating the intimidating size of the LeSausage*, I’ll keep each of these as concise as my loquacious heart will allow. The films are as such in the order that Cooper lists them.

5. SALEM’S LOT (1979)

A TV miniseries based on a Stephen King book as directed by Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s own Tobe Hooper? Sign me up. Featuring some of the greatest and most disturbing vampire makeup ever put to film, the parts that focus on him are the strongest moments of the film. That said, there’s too much fat in the runtime that focuses on the mostly uninteresting townspeople. It could have maintained the slow burn anticipation of revealing the vampire while cutting the three hour run time down to a standard ninety minute feature. Still, the vampire scenes rule.

3.5/5

4. SUSPIRIA (1977)

An iridescent Italian horror classic from Dario Argento. It’s a visually stunning piece with a masterful grip on tension. An American dancer travels to Germany to join a prestigious dance studio, only to learn it’s a front for a coven of witches. Ah, poop. Like several horror movies, it lacks narrative cohesion and momentum, but the visuals, mystery, and creatively graphic kills keep you interested in the ride.

4/5

3. THE HAUNTING (1963)

Black and white psychological terror. One of the all time great haunted house movies. The cinematography is immaculate, light and shadow coalesce with a classic story to foster a genuinely chilling atmosphere. The story isn’t particularly unique, with a scientist visiting a haunted house with several volunteers to prove the existence of ghosts, only to bite off more than they can chew. It’s just executed about as well as you could do so.

4/5

2. THE EVIL DEAD (1981)

Sam Raimi’s feature directorial debut, and Bruce Campbell’s big screen debut. It’s a feature length remake of a 1978 Raimi short film called Within the Woods which served as a demonstration to obtain funds for the full version here. Joel Coen was the assistant editor on The Evil Dead, and was inspired by this approach, opting to shoot a trailer for Blood Simple to secure funding for that film. No Evil Dead, maybe no Fargo, Big Lebowski, or No Country for Old Men either. How about that?

As for the film at hand, it’s a classic cabin in the woods story with gore aplenty and a kinetic campy style. Raimi’s visual style is antithetical to boredom when he’s directing anything except Kevin Costner’s worst baseball movie. The Evil Dead is good clean American fun, but would ultimately be improved upon in every way by the absolutely bonkers sequel Evil Dead II.

4.5/5

1. CARNIVAL OF SOULS (1962)

Perhaps the most overlooked movie on the list, it’s a haunting paranormal thriller with a somewhat predictable twist, but that’s not the point. A black and white haunting miracle of unease and gothic dissidence. The main character even plays a church organ! It excels in the quiet moments, as it builds to its tragically horrific but inevitable conclusion. Shoutout to director Herk Harvey, who also directed the greatest work safety film ever, Shake Hands With Danger.

5/5

Nice picks, Alice! His list meets the Holen seal of approval. Tune in next week kids for something completely different…

* That’s just a rumour.  One I started myself.  Flattery will get you everywhere, Holen!  – Mike

Redrum! A wickedly scary Top 5 Horror Movie show on the LeBrain Train

Big props to the panel tonight:  Eric “Uncle Meat” Litwiller, Rob “Chucky” Daniels and Erik “Velvet Voice” Woods!  Any time we cover movies, I am the luckiest host in the world to be able to lean on Rob and Erik.  I truly believe these two guys are some of the top experts on movie soundtracks in the world.  By extension, they also know movies like the backs of their hands.  This was a truly great show because we had three amazing guests on the panel.  Me, all I could do was tell amusing anecdotes!  (Watch the show and find out what my buddy Bob and I “learned” about women’s clothing from the movie Christine.

This is a show you’ll want to watch from start to finish.  The discussion far exceeded just a simple “top 5” list, with plenty of interesting runners-up scattered through the broadcast.  Go get a beverage and get ready to be inspired to watch a whole bunch of horror movies this weekend!

REMINDER:

November 5 7:00 PM E.S.T.: We are joined by the awesome Dan Fila, drummer of Sven Gali and Varga! Co-hosted by John “2loud2old” Snow. Get ready to be pummelled by a double bass master!

Next week I’ll be on Tim’s Vinyl Confessions for a special episode, and 107.5 Dave Rocks, with Jessie David for The Essential Alice Cooper on October 31!

The Horror! Top Five Scary Flicks on the LeBrain Train

The LeBrain Train: 2000 Words or More with Mike and the Meat Man

Episode 85 – Cinco De List-O: Top 5 Horror Films

Topic courtesy of the Meat Man! It’s Halloween so perfect timing for another movie list: horror movies! And any time we’re talking movies, we better have Rob Daniels and Erik Woods on board!

It’s a really simple subject so we don’t need a lot of explanation here. To read up on my history with horror films, check out Record Store Tales #496: The Horror. It may spoil a couple of my picks so be forewarned!

Friday October 29, 7:00 PM E.S.T. on Facebook: MikeLeBrain and YouTube: Mike LeBrain.

Upcoming shows:

I am very pleased to announce next week’s show:

November 5 7:00 PM E.S.T.: We are joined by the awesome Dan Fila, drummer of Sven Gali and Varga! Freeze, don’t move, this show is gonna be Under the Influence! Co-hosted by John “2loud2old” Snow.

I also have an appearance on Tim’s Vinyl Confessions coming up, and will be be on 107.5 Dave Rocks, with Jessie David and my pick for The Essential Alice Cooper, on October 31!

REVIEW: Alice Cooper – Constrictor (1986)

EPIC REVIEW TIME.

Scan_20160207 (2)ALICE COOPER – Constrictor (1986 MCA)

Alice Cooper’s bizarre DaDa album was the end of an era.  It marked the last album Alice recorded for his Warner Brothers contract, now complete.  It was also the end of his experimental period that ran from 1980’s Flush the Fashion through to DaDa.  It was the the last album Alice would make that he couldn’t remember making.

Alice mostly disappeared for the next three years.  His activities were so low key that most people didn’t even notice them.  He was hospitalized for cirrhosis of the liver caused by his blackout drinking.  He got sober, for good.  He also dealt with a divorce.  Musically there was very little going on.  In 1984, Alice starred in a very low budget horror movie called Monster Dog.  He recorded two songs for the soundtrack:  “Identity Crisises” and “See Me in the Mirror”.  These two tracks are very much the conclusion to Alice’s early 80’s art-rock persona.  “Identity Crisises” has a lo-fi, garage-y Iggy Pop sound.  “See Me in the Mirror” is in the synthpop direction of DaDa:  creepy, atmospheric and mostly electronic.  These two songs were finally released for purchase on the legendary Life and Crimes of Alice Cooper boxed set in 1999.

Alice next emerged with one of the bands he inspired:  Twisted Sister.  Along with Brian Setzer, Clarence Clemens and Billy Joey, Cooper accompanied Twisted Sister on their single “Be Chrool to Your Scuel”. A very clever zombie-filled big budget horror-inspired music video was made for the song, which Alice co-starred in, as did Bobcat Golthwait (who was also in Sister’s “Leader of the Pack” clip).  It should have been a big deal, with Alice getting equal screen time with Dee Snider.  Unfortunately hardly anyone saw the video. MTV barely touched it. As a result it did nothing to aid Alice in terms of a comeback.  It was good to note that Alice looked healthier than he had in years.

Alice regrouped and re-invented himself in a new persona. Taking inspiration from his Welcome to My Nightmare period, Alice went into “slasher film” mode. He recruited a massive muscle-bound heavy metal guitarist and songwriter, Kane Roberts, to be his co-pilot for this adventure. Also along for the ride was a hot new bassist and singer named Kip Winger, whose large mane hid the fact that the man was a classically trained musician. With producer Beau Hill, they made an album in tune with what was happening in 1986, and that meant heavy metal. Alice had always been a diverse, experimental artist, but this time the mission was pretty simple and the lines were clear.

Another horror film served to launch the next official Alice Cooper music: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives. Alice appeared in a brief cameo, but more importantly contributed two new songs to the movie soundtrack. They were the anthem “Hard Rock Summer”, and “He’s Back (The Man Behind the Mask)”, which served as the movie’s theme song. “Hard Rock Summer” was a bit of a throwaway, and was not used on the next Alice album. You can really hear the backing vocals of Kip Winger and Kane Roberts on it, but a classic it is not. “He’s Back”, and its very cool music video became synonymous with this new period of Alice Cooper’s life.

The new album, Constrictor, was finally released in September of ’86. With a snake in his mouth on the cover (not really; you can see it’s cheaply cut and pasted) it was pretty clear that Cooper was going for the scares. Opening track “Teenage Frankenstein” continues the horror theme, but combines it with Alice’s teen anthem style from the early 1970’s. “Teenage Frankenstein” is essentially an “I’m 18” for 1986. It’s not as memorable, inventive, or as good, but it gets the job done. It’s an Alice Cooper heavy metal anthem for pounding your fist to in concert. In lieu of a proper music video, a clip from his live show The Nightmare Returns was used, featuring Alice building a living robot monster on stage, which then turns against him!  Alice was still one of the best live acts in the world.

It’s funny that DaDa is remembered as Alice’s “drum machine” album when it’s clear on “Give it Up” that a lot of the beats are programs and samples.  “Give it Up” is a radio friendly hard rocker, nondescript but at its core not that different from the music Alice made in the 70’s.  It’s even has some rock and roll piano.   It’s just dressed up for the 80’s.   There’s not much going on with “Thrill My Gorilla”, just a forgettable song with the shrill production that was so popular in the 80’s.  Much better is the somewhat epic “Life and Death of the Party”.  Slower, creepier and much more effective, “Life and Death of the Party” is the kind of song I like to point to as proof there was some mighty good material during this period.  Unfortunately “Simple Disobedience” isn’t among that material.  Like “Thrill My Gorilla”, there is little here to attract listeners today.  The electronics and samples really are a drag.  It is like there is a layer of distraction over the song that you have to penetrate through.

Flipping the record over (or pretending to since I own this on CD), “The World Needs Guts” isn’t a bad start to the second side.  It could have been much heavier.  It verges on the speedy power metal tendencies of bands like Accept, but the production keeps it from going all the way.  As such it kind of sounds like a thin Judas Priest Turbo outtake with the synths stripped off.  “Trick Bag” may sound familiar.   It actually started life as “He’s Back (The Man Behind the Mask)”.  There’s a demo version of “He’s Back” on the aforementioned Alice Cooper box set musically identical to “Trick Bag”.  “He’s Back” was re-written, but the original music ended up as “Trick Bag”.  It’s a decent album track but like much of Constrictor not particularly classic.  “Crawlin'” is pretty close.  With all the melody and hooks of an old 70’s Alice Cooper track circa Goes to Hell, “Crawlin'” is pretty good stuff.

“The Great American Success Story” is fantastic for two reasons.  One is that it was originally written for the Rodney Dangerfield classic Back to School.   Second, it’s like an updated “School’s Out” for the 80’s.  Instead of celebrating the end of school, this time we are celebrating going to school.  “He’s gonna take that plunge, gonna jump back in there.”  Which, if you’ve seen the movie, you know is also a reference to Dangerfield’s character joining the diving team.  “He thinks about the teacher in his literary class,” and I don’t blame him; it was Sally Kellerman!  “Always been a brat, don’t get no respect” is another obvious reference to Dangerfield.  But it’s a good song! It really should have been a single, and it probably would have been if it were in the movie.

Closing the album, we go full circle back to Friday the 13th and “He’s Back”.  There’s little question that “He’s Back” is the best song on Constrictor.  It actually bears more similarity to the synth-pop of DaDa than it does to the rest of the album.   It’s brilliant because they stripped the song down to a very basic frame, which is a creepy digital pulse.  There’s a little guitar but it’s mostly just horror pop of the finest quality.  Ch-ch-ch-ha-ha-ha…don’t turn out the lights.

Part of the problem with Constrictor is that Alice had a faceless, fairly bland group backing him.  Kane Roberts can play guitar, and Kip Winger can play the bass, but did they have their own identities?  No.  Dennis Dunaway played bass on those early Alice Cooper albums like no other bassist in the world.  Michael Bruce, Steve Hunter, Dick Wagner, and the other great players Alice worked with all had their own sound.  There is none of that on Constrictor.

I want to give Alice and company an A for effort: for finally getting sober, for finally getting back there on tour, and also for going heavy this time.  Unfortunately Constrictor was a comeback album that needed a bit more comeback in it.  The good news is that Alice did eventually get back to full quality, but Constrictor is only about half an album.  Therefore:

2.5/5 stars

Scan_20160207 (3)

REVIEW: Alice Cooper Goes to Hell (1976)

Happy Halloween, folks!  And what better way to celebrate this day than with the king of horror rock, Alice Cooper?

ALICE COOPER – Alice Cooper Goes to Hell (1976 Warner)

Last time, he welcomed you to his nightmare.  Now, journey with Alice as he takes you straight to hell!  Subtitled (in the inner booklet) as “A Bedtime Story”, Alice Cooper Goes to Hell is another concept album, to follow a concept album.  Steven is back.  It’s a pretty mad concept, and one that ties into not only Nightmare, but also Nightmare 2, decades later.  Steven will fall asleep, and follow Alice down a dark endless staircase, “the pit where he doesn’t want to go, but has to.”

Written and produced by Alice, Bob Ezrin, and Dick Wagner, Goes to Hell features a backing band with a name you might recognize: The Hollywood Vampires.  It’s not the same band, obviously (Johnny Depp was 12 years old), but it does demonstrate just how long Alice has been using that name for a band.  Among the many musicians herein, you will recognize many:  Steven Hunter, Dick Wagner, Tony Levin, and Allan Schwartzberg are probably in your record collection many times (credited or otherwise).

Goes to Hell doesn’t have the fire, or the reputation, of Welcome to My Nightmare.  It is the beginning of a long slide that did not fully right itself until after Alice had kicked the booze for good.  It is, however, an under-appreciated album with fun and nuance in the dark shadows.  The title track is one song that still graces the live stage.  Here, Alice seems to be paying for his crimes committed.  “For criminal acts and violence on the stage, For being a brat refusing to act your age, For all of the decent citizens you’ve enraged, You can go to hell!”  You’ll never have so much fun on the road to H-E-double-hockeysticks, this side of an AC/DC album.  Quintessential Alice, this is, and indispensable too.  Anyone who has ever liked the biting humour and celebrated riffs of Alice Cooper will love “Go to Hell”.  Bob Ezrin adds the usual accompaniment to the mix:  horns, keys, and gang vocals condemning Alice to hell!

A full three years before Kiss, Alice Cooper went disco.  If you like disco rock metal music, then “You Gotta Dance” to this one.  This is a track that some Alice fans would probably love to bury, but it has its moments.  Steve Hunter plays a wicked funky guitar solo.  There is always instrumental integrity.  “I’m the Coolest” slows the pace to a jazzy drawl.  At this point I imagine the character of Alice is meeting various people down in hell, perhaps the man in charge himself.  “Didn’t We Meet” suggests this.  “To look at you, deja vu, chills me to the core.”  Then, “They say you’re the king of this whole damn thing.”  These three tunes are all quite a departure from hard rock, but Alice has always been so diverse.  The hit ballad “I Never Cry” (#5 in Canada) is very pretty, unusually so for Alice.  It is, according him, an “alcoholic confession”, and not the only moment on the album that touches on his drinking.

The first side of the album has some great tracks, but only the first (“Go to Hell”) really rocks.  Side two is similarly diverse and dark.  “Give the Kid a Break” is a campy musical number, with Alice pleading his case before the judge.  “I don’t know why I’m down here, I don’t deserve to roast or bake.”  Predictably, things don’t go well, since the next song is called “Guilty”!  “Guilty” is the hardest rocker on the album, and one of the only songs to be played live occasionally through the decades.   Not that all the other songs on the album suck; Alice just sounds right when he’s rocking like he always has.  And the lyrics rule:

Just tried to have fun, raised hell and then some,
I’m a dirt-talkin’, beer drinkin’, woman chasin’ minister’s son,
Slap on the make-up and blast out the music,
Wake up the neighbors with a roar,
Like a teenage heavy metal elephant gun.

If you call that guilty, then that’s what I am.
I’m guilty, I’m guilty!

This is right up the alley of a tune like “Escape” from the last album.  It’s a shot in the arm and just when you need it.

With “Wake Me Gently”, we are back in ballad land, and it is unfortunately the longest song on the album.  It sounds like an Ezrin creation, but in comparison to his other works, it is among his lesser creations.  The string section is the highlight.  Then he turns up the funk again for “Wish You Were Here”, with the help of Wagner on funky gee-tar.  “Havin’ a hell of a time my dear, wish you were here.”  Sounds like Alice has more than enough of hell by now.  Steve Hunter plays the blazing Lizzy leads at the end of the song.

In a surprising-but-not turn, Alice pulls “I’m Always Chasing Rainbows” out of the hat, an old Vaudeville song (1917) once performed by Judy Garland in 1941.  It actually works within the concept of the album, and predictably, Alice perfectly camps it up.  It blends splendidly into “Going Home”, with Steven finally escaping his nightmare.  Was it a nightmare?  “I wonder what happened to Alice,” he ponders.  This is pompous, overdone Ezrin, just the way you like it.  Orchestration and thunderous percussion lend themselves well to this dramatic close.

It’s pretty clear that the reason Alice Cooper Goes to Hell is not as fondly remembered as Welcome to My Nightmare is the sudden change in direction to balladeer.  There are only three rocking songs on an album of eleven tracks, and Alice was always primarily a rock artist, albeit an experimental one.  You still found his records in the “rock” section of your friendly neighbourhood record store.  Three rockers aside, the rest is a diverse assortment of music, well put together and played.  Clearly, that has to be the key.  But there is more to it than that.  Nightmare seemed a more celebratory affair.  It felt lively; it felt alive.  Goes to Hell sounds less so.  Alice’s lungs seemed weakened, just a smidge, from how they used to bellow.

Alice Cooper Goes to Hell is worthy of praise, not derision.  Just remember — it’s not a rock album.  At best it’s rock opera.  Proposed analogy:  Goes to Hell is Alice’s Music From the Elder.  They even have the same producer!

3.5/5 stars

Happy Halloween kiddies!

REVIEW: Alice Cooper – Welcome To My Nightmare (1975)

WELC0ME TO_0001ALICE COOPER – Welcome To My Nightmare (1975)

My sister used to have a tradition.  Because I’ve always been a collector, she would have an easy time buying gifts for me as a young rock fan.  When I was 17 years old,  I only had a few albums by certain artists.  She’d sneak into my room and go over my collection.  She saw that I only owned a few of Alice Cooper’s:  Trash, Prince of Darkness, Billion Dollar Babies, and Greatest Hits.  For Easter of 1990, she got me Alice’s Welcome to My Nightmare.  Not knowing what to except from the Coop, it was pretty much instant love.

I played that cassette a lot and grew to know its track sequence, which was completely different from CD.  Later on I purchased the original CD release, but what Welcome To My Nightmare needed (and the rest of the Cooper catalogue needs) is a proper remaster with bonus tracks.  Rhino took care of that in 2002.

Now the album itself sounds so much better than the original CD. This sounds more like vinyl, the way it should, rich and deep. The liner notes, unfortunately, are somewhat crappy. They basically just explain to the youth of today why Alice Cooper is cooler than the bands they like. There’s not much about the genesis of the album, which is disappointing. This is, after all, the very first solo album by Vincent Furnier aka Alice Cooper. By 1975, the Alice Cooper band (Furnier, Michael Bruce, Dennis Dunaway, Neil Smith, and the late Glen Buxton) was no more. Never again would they share a stage or a recording studio, at least the original five.  The four survivors did finally re-team for a couple songs on 2011’s sequel, Welcome 2 My Nightmare.

Welcome To My Nightmare was a revelation to me when I received it, and it is still mind-blowing today. I think that is due to the production talents of Bob Ezrin. The man who later produced Destroyer and The Wall really came into his own on this album. His production is, for lack of any better words, jaw dropping. You can totally tell it’s him, if you know his style well enough: that creepy horror movie piano, all the orchestrations, sound effects, the kids singing. Those are trademarks. My favourite moment for the kids was in the song “Department of Youth”. Cooper and the kids sing in the fade-out:

Together – “We’re the Department of Youth, ahh ahh, we got the power!”
Alice – “Who got the power?”
Kids – “We do!”
Alice – “And who gave it to you?”
Kids – “Donny Osmond!”
Alice – “WHAT?”

Loosely, this is a concept album about the kind of nightmares Alice would have.  The result was a collection of remarkably timeless and classic songs:  “Only Women Bleed”, “Black Widow”, and “Escape” for example. “Escape” is the most straightforward rocker on the album, and a joy it is. The rest is often more complex, arrangement-wise and lyrically.

The title track is a fun rollercoaster ride with epic horns.  Same with “Devil’s Food” and “The Black Widow” which work together as a creepy classic featuring Vincent Price.  I would not want to live my life without these songs.  Alice is nothing if not diverse, and then “Some Folks” sounds showtune-y.  “Only Women Bleed” is the famous ballad, often misunderstood, but respected enough to be covered by artists such as Lita Ford, Tina Turner, and Etta James.

“Department Of Youth” and “Cold Ethel” are more rock and roll, and why not?  What better genre to sing about rebellion and necrophilia?  It’s worth pointing out the guitar charms of Steve Hunter and the late Dick Wagner.  These two incredible players, under the guidance of Ezrin, lent Welcome To My Nightmare the rock edge that it needed, lest it be swallowed up by the dramatic tendencies.

Of course, Welcome To My Nightmare features the first-ever appearance of the character of Steven. “Years Ago” has Alice singing in this incredibly creepy little-kid voice, as Steven. Then the song “Steven” kicks in, and it’s even creepier, but very epic in scale. Alice is at his most effective here.  Steven would pop up many times, such as on the next album Alice Cooper Goes To Hell, 1991’s Hey Stoopid, 1994’s Last Temptation, and the more recent Along Came A Spider.  Whether it’s supposed to be the same guy, or just a character who shares the same name, I do not know.

The bonus tracks are alternate versions of “Devil’s Food” (much extended), “Cold Ethyl”, and “The Awakening” with alternate lyrics and more Vincent Price! Not available on the Life and Crimes of Alice Cooper box set! These three tracks alone, to the Cooper collector, necessitate a re-buy.  The improved sound probably would have hooked them in anyway.

I could never say, “If you only buy one Alice Cooper album, buy this one.” The reason I can’t is that almost every album by the original Alice Cooper band was monumental, particularly School’s Out and Billion Dollar Babies. However, if you buy two or three Coops, please make one of them Welcome To My Nightmare, remastered!

5/5 stars

* There is also a DVD Audio of this album mixed in 5.1 by Bob Ezrin himself!

DVD REVIEW: The Wicker Man (1973, Anchor Bay limited edition)

Rest in peace, Christopher Lee — one of my favourite actors. Please check out Sean Munger’s excellent tribute to this fine performer.  Weirdly enough, he had a heavy metal career too.  Check Sean’s site for the scoop.

THE WICKER MAN (1973, Anchor Bay numbered box)

Directed by Robin Hardy

Please, whatever you do — do not see the Nicholas Cage “remake” (I use that term loosely) of The Wicker Man. Do not waste your time. See this version, the classic Christopher Lee/Edward Woodward original.

Police Sgt. Howie (a young Woodward) receives a tip about a missing girl on Summerisle, a fictitious island in the north of Scotland. He takes a seaplane to the island where he is greeted very cooly by the locals. Strangely, none of the elders claim to know of the girl, Rowan Morrison. Howie is not dissuaded and refuses to leave. He sets up in a local hotel to learn more about the island and the girl.

Nothing adds up, as he finds her desk at the school and her name in the school registers, proof that the girl did exist.  Howie, a devout Christian, is horrified to find that there are no Christians on Summerisle — only Pagans. Their rituals are strange and disgusting to him, and the local church is rundown and obviously unused for quite some time. The things he witnesses on Summerisle are some of the most interesting images in the film, qualifying it a work of true art, and impossible for serious cinema fans to ignore.

Howie finds the grave of Rowan Morrison and wishes to exhume the body, but to do that he needs permission from the owner of the island, Lord Summerisle (Lee). Lee’s presence in this film is magnificent. Some consider this to be the best work of his career. As Lord Summerisle, he is regal, mysterious and dignified. But is he guilty of obstructing justice, or even accessory to murder? What is the secret history of Summerisle, which has suffered failed crops in the recent past? Who sent Howie the tip about the missing girl, and why?

Disturbingly and suddenly, Howie’s seaplane will not start and he cannot return to the mainland. As the plot slowly begins to unfold, and stranger and stranger things are witnessed upon the island, Howie comes to believe that young Rowan is not dead, but soon will be if he does not act. He aims to stop her sacrifice, and comes face to face with the wicker man himself. (If you don’t know what a wicker man is, look it up.) By the end of the movie, you will be haunted by the song “The Lord is My Shepherd” and the words, “Oh Jesus Christ!”

WICKER MAN_0004

Movie card included in the box set

The horror in this movie is not gore, or monsters, or traditional horror frights. It lies in the situations that Howie gets himself into, by refusing to leave. The film is not for everybody. I know some people who watch it regularly, and others (like my dad) who have found it so chilling that they will never watch it again. Check it out cautiously. Only then will you know if you have the fortitude to face The Wicker Man!

This DVD edition by Anchor Bay is excellent. Two cuts of the film are included. The extended cut features some of the once-lost footage that enhances the experience. The extended version is the version to watch. There is also documentary footage on the DVD, including speculation as to where the last, lost bits of film may be hidden!

The only thing about The Wicker Man that I find hard to swallow is some of the music (some). Music is critical to the film, yes, but face it…Britt Ekland couldn’t sing!

This is a work of fiction. It is not meant to offend anybody of any religion. It is a simply a horror movie, or more accurately a thriller. The only thing offensive about The Wicker Man is that an American film studio thought it was a good idea to try to remake it!

5/5 stars