Vintage review from the archives.

JON BON JOVI – Destination Anywhere – The Film (1997)

Directed by Mark Pellington

I bought this on VHS when it first came out. I watched it once, put it away for a decade, and finally sold it at a garage sale for 50 cents. Why? Because this is one of the most boring pieces of vanity projects ever foisted upon the loyal. You can see all the JBJ fanboy-esque reviews on Amazon:  “The Destination Anywhere film is perfect…something to have if you are a true Bon Jovi fan. Good movie plot too…enjoy!”

True Bon Jovi fans need not apply except for “the collection”.  Let’s please be objective.

This vanity project was very loosely based on the Jon Bon Jovi solo album of the same title. As such, the music from that movie acts as the soundtrack. The music is the best thing about this film. Sure, the actors are all great — Kevin Bacon, Whoopi, Demi — but there’s no script here worth filming.

Jon Bon (“Jon”) and Demi Moore (“Janie”) are struggling with alcoholism and the death of a child. A dark film, Destination Anywhere mostly just follows Jon around town while he tries to figure things out. The characters he runs into offer various pieces of advice, but there are no epiphanies. The film sadly falls flat, sitting there purposeless, and smelling like something that Jon thought would elevate his movie career. It didn’t, and I think that’s the proof in the pudding.

1/5 stars. Boring as hell.