BLOTTO – Metalhead – Video 45 (1983 Sony)
This review is a slight cheat. Because I pledged never to open my VHS copy of Blotto’s Metalhead Video 45 (Nigel Tufnel told me “It can’t be played, ever”), I’ve chosen to just review the videos from the Blotto YouTube channel. I’m entrusting the band that the VHS experience would just be a little more VHS-y.
This videocassette was a gift from guitarist Bowtie Blotto, a truly good guy completely unlike his evil “Dr. Bow” character. All the guys are great, so be forewarned, this review is also coming from the perspective of someone completely sold on the Blotto concept, music, humour, and band. This is not an objective review. For this site, that’s simply impossible. We’ll try our best OK? That’s all we can promise.
Let’s get you up to speed first, just so we’re all on the same page.
Blotto is a rock band from Albany NY who garnered early MTV video hits with “Metalhead” and “I Wanna Be A Lifeguard”. They inject a dose of comedy into their songs and performances. Not too much, not too little: the Goldilocks zone, just right. It’s a fine line, right? A fine line between clever and stupid, as Nigel Tufnel also told me once. It is a tightrope, and Blotto managed to balance it without tilting too hard to either side. They rock, and they laugh. Or perhaps they laugh, and they rock. Either way, the music video format was ideally suited to the band. It enabled them to really get the comedic side across.
We open with the legendary “Metalhead” (5:32), as featured on the Metal For Breakfast compilation LP, and Blotto’s Combo Akimbo album. The scene is set: Blotto, the band are in rehearsal, but missing a member! Where is lead singer, Sarge? Absent. “Suddenly there’s an endless void where I used to keep my brain,” sings the headband and studs-wearing Sarge as he wanders the back alleys of Albany. The band rock on, awaiting the arrival of their singer, each one sporting a unique look. Guitarist Broadway has the rock star hair and stature. Cheese on bass rocks the bald head, looking like he was recruited from a London punk band. Bowtie, of course, rocks the bowtie and glasses. In the 1980s, I can remember being offended that a “bald punk guy” and a “nerd guy” were playing a heavy metal song, but I was also 12. Meanwhile, drummer Lee Harvey’s flowing locks give him that casual but seasoned pro drummer look.
Suddenly the garage door opens, and the tardy Sarge finally shows up to the shocked looks on Blotto’s faces, as Sarge bangs his head against a beam.
“Ah, ah, ah, I’m turning into a heavy metalhead!”
Sarge has a serious case of it, hanging with bikers and getting skull tattoos. “Some home-grown for the ride back home, Van Halen on the 8-track!” declares Sarge.
Blotto break into an instrumental solo section, while Buck Dharma from Blue Oyster Cult wails on the solo (while watching the video from his home, it seems)!
Will Sarge survive his transition into a heavy metalhead? This legendary video still works today, because that “metal head” persona is now like a cultural icon of the 80s. With a well produced and perfectly edited video, Blotto encapsulated so much of that “metal head” stereotype in one hilarious video. Stay tuned for the extended ending, and a one-in-a-million shot with a motorcycle helmet.
Also from Combo Akimbo is the more upbeat “I Quit” (2:13). Lead vocals this time are handled by Broadway. Blotto are now stuck working in an office, still rocking, but also drowning in paperwork.
“You can’t fire me! I QUIT!” shouts Broadway at his boss, while the rest of the band echo his sentiments. It does seem like a pretty seedy office and not a fun place to work. It also appears that Lee Harvey has taken a second job on a paper route, but he’s not enjoying that either. Eventually everyone quits leaving just Bowtie alone in the office! Meanwhile, drummer for hire Lee Harvey finds another job, holding a ladder. Is he playing drums with four sticks?
The third and final video is from the 1979 EP, Hello, My Name Is Blotto, What’s Yours? “I Wanna Be A Lifeguard” (3:55) was one of the first videos aired on Day One of MTV, so it’s important for that reason. This fun surf rock song was begging for a music video. Featuring Chevrolet Blotto on keyboards, and a pre-bald Cheese, Blotto are now working in a shopping mall. It doesn’t appear to be a fun job. “I just want an ocean and some sunscreen lotion,” sings Sarge.
Blotto get their wish, and appear on a beach in swimming gear. What the viewer doesn’t know is that the video was filmed in late winter (look at the bare trees) and the band were absolutely freezing on the beach!
This song is loaded with clever surf rock hooks and a killer drum part by Lee Harvey. Not just that “wipeout” beat that opens it, but the drums through the whole song are relentless and well composed.
That’s the thing about Blotto that, perhaps, some people missed. These guys could play, every one of them. Listen to Cheese’s bassline on “Lifeguard”. It literally swims along with the song. And his tone! Bassists would kill for his sound: clear and loud with depth and attack, but not dominating. Lyrically and musically, “Lifeguard” is quite canny beneath the wavy surface. You have to understand music to pull off songs like this, because jokes alone can’t carry a song. Blotto had a rare combination of instrumental savvy, and witty nudge-nudge lyrics. How many songs can you name that specifically reference listening to Van Halen on an 8-track deck in the car? Perhaps some can relate. And who can’t relate to wanting to be a lifeguard? “Hardly any clothes, sand between my toes!” Sounds alright to me.
At roughly 12 minutes’ length, the Video 45 format never really caught on. When you think back to the 1980s, with extended play features, you could record up to 8 hours onto a videotape, though not in the best quality. I think people expected more content when buying a VHS tape in the 80s, and the “video EP” concept went under. That’s just speculation, but videos this short were very rare at retail.
To be objective and look from a more critical angle, I think “Metalhead” and “Lifeguard” work best as videos. “I Quit” is less fun because it’s set in an office. “Metalhead” and “Lifeguard” have more band performance shots as well. “Metalhead” is clearly the most polished of the videos, and probably the most gag-loaded. All three are fine examples of the kinds of things a creative band could do with a modest budget in the early days of video. “Lifeguard” existed before MTV did, so you really have to give Blotto credit for being on the cutting edge of music video.
4/5 stars







