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#369: Grocery Store Rock

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RECORD STORE TALES MkII: Getting More Tale
#369: Grocery Store Rock

The lovely Mrs. LeBrain finally came home from the hospital just before Valentine’s Day.  Three weeks in that place, or close to it, monitoring for seizure activity.  Mission accomplished, Mrs. LeBrain returned home to find my nearly empty fridge and cupboards.  A weekend grocery shopping trip was arranged and we restocked the essentials.

Normally I don’t really spend a lot of time at the grocery store, but this was an extended trip and I found myself noticing the songs that were playing.  I was hearing 80’s rock, oldies, classic rock, and a variety of tunes that I didn’t expect at the grocery store.

I remember growing up, going to the store with my mom as a kid, and they were playing Muzak.  Same store, same location, Muzak was playing 30 years ago.  When did this change?  I didn’t notice.  I worked in a grocery store myself when I was in highschool, but I’ll be damned I could tell you what music was playing.  Therefore it was most likely Muzak.  That same old Muzak that always sounded like a watered down version of the M.A.S.H. theme.  I’ll take classic rock over that any day.

Here are the tunes I remember from the Great Snowstorm Grocery Shop of Feb 2015:

1. Blondie – “Atomic”.  Blondie is coming to town this July as part of Big Music Fest, so that was totally appropriate.

2. ‎The Beau Brummels – “Laugh Laugh”.  I recognized this old classic from an episode of the Flintstones!

3.The Kinks – “Come Dancing”.  I have been on a serious Kinks kick since December.  “Come Dancing” and “Apeman” are currently my two favourite Kinks songs, but the tropical feel of “Come Dancing” hits the spot when it’s -16 degrees outside.

4. The Tokens – “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”.  This one killed the momentum for me, so I went to the junk food isle.

5. The Doors – “Break on Through”.  Morrison’s tormented screams haunted me in the cereal section.

6. Tommy Tutone – “867-5309 (Jenny Jenny)”.  By amusing coincidence, this song came on as I wandered away from Jen, and went looking for her.  I had a laugh over that, and I’m sure shoppers wondered why I was chuckling.  Jen couldn’t hear the song over the sound of the refrigeration in the produce section.


7. A Taste of Honey – “Boogie Oogie Oogie”.  I first heard this Disco classic on the Craig Fee Show.

8. Lynyrd Skynyrd – “Sweet Home Alabama”.  Moms listen to this now.  That’s the reality of the world we live in today.

Not a bad batch of tunes for a grocery shopping trip.  Certainly better than Muzak, you must agree!  It wouldn’t have been so bad working at the grocery store with those kinds of tunes.

Part 252: That Smell

RECORD STORE TALES Part 252:  That Smell

Working in a retail environment with the public exposes one to a variety of interesting smells.  90% of customers didn’t have a particular smell to them.  They were pretty inoffensive.  However, about 10% of customers did have distinct odors.  Here are the Top Five things that customers in my store smelled like:

4% – Weed

If I had to break it down, I would say the majority of customers that smelled like marijuana were shopping in the rap section.  The red bleary eyes were also a giveaway, but some of these kids just reeked of pot!  Didn’t matter if it was 10am and they were selling their CDs to buy another dime bag, or if it was 7pm and they were looking for fast food money.  They were omnipresent.

3% – Booze

I’m only hoping that the customers who had booze stench on their breath were not driving.  (At the end, I worked on the “wrong side of town,” many of my customers could not drive anyway.)  Never mind the fact that some people would be coming in piss drunk at noon on a Wednesday.

1% – B.O.

The dreaded body odor stink afflicted men and women alike.  The only thing they had in common: customers with B.O. were always oblivious to it themselves, even though my eyes were watering.  Many times these guys were construction workers on break, but not always!

1% – Really strong perfume or cologne

I had a few customers who were used car salesmen.  Apart from impeccably trimmed moustaches, they often wore too much Drakkar Noir.  There were also plenty of women that smelled so strong you couldn’t breathe.

1% – Bad breath

Halitosis isn’t fun.  Some of the people who knocked me out with their breath looked like their teeth weren’t doing so well either, particularly at the stores located on the wrong side of the tracks!

If you enjoyed this, perhaps you’ll enjoy Record Store Tales Part 57:  Top Five Things A Record Store Smells Like.

THAT SMELL