AMERICAN DAD – “Stanny Slickers II: The Legend of Ollie’s Gold” (Episode 15, season 3)
As we review our way through significant American Dad episodes, several outstanding musical numbers emerge. When it comes to memorable TV tunes, there’s the Simpsons and then there’s American Dad. A highlight of the earlier seasons was the song “Ollie North”, sung for one of Stan Smith’s heroes, the scandal-ridden Colonel Oliver North. Done in an after-school-special style, the song is meant to educate!
As a kid I remember a summer of waiting through Oliver North hearings just to watch an episode of The Transformers.
Stan’s tune succinctly summed up the entire scandal.
In the 80s there was Cold War drama,
We fought the Commies inside Nicaragua,
Our friends were the Contras, Freedom was their mantra,
So we sent them lots of money for guns, and landmines.
But Congress stopped the Contra money flow,
Just ’cause they moved a teeny bit of blow.
But then a hero came forth, His name was Oliver North,
He and Reagan went around the sissy Congress.
OLLIE NORTH! OLLIE NORTH!
(Spoken) You see, North secretly sold missiles to a harmless country called Iran who would always be a grateful ally. Then he gave the profits to the Contras. Genius!
But the sales were uncovered by the press,
Reagan and North began to stress,
‘Cause what they did was technically high treason! (But it was totally justified.)
North volunteered to take the blame,
To save Reagan from prison rape shame,
The truth he did bury with his hot secretary,
Thanks to her shredder, he got off totally scot-free!
OLLIE NORTH! OLLIE NORTH!
He’s a soldier!
And a hero!
And a novelist!
And now he’s on Fox News!
But that’s not the story here. Working for the CIA, Stan Smith has access to information. He knows that North had a secret cache of gold, and he buried it somewhere on his property. The very house that the Smiths live in today! Ollie North’s gold has long been an obsession for Stan. He named his first child “Hayley Dreamsmasher” because having kids meant giving up his quest for the gold. Now, Stan thinks he has decoded secret messages left by North. When Stan begins actively pursuing Ollie’s gold again, the family grows concerned. Then a giant pit mine is dug in their living room.
In a separate storyline, Roger the alien tries to prove that he is sexually harassable. So he invents two new characters (Laura Vanderbooben and Luke Fondleberg) to make that happen.
Will Stan find Ollie’s gold? Will Roger win a cash settlement? It doesn’t matter because that Ollie North song is so damn catchy!