steve miller

Part 68: The Fucked-Up Tooth

You think you’d remember something like losing a tooth at work.

So it was weird one day, when while cleaning the store, I found an old rotten tooth behind the counter!  Like, way behind the counter, like where the dust bunnies multiply at the edge of carpeting and corner.

I didn’t know it was a tooth when I picked it up.  I thought it was a stone.  I picked it up and turned it over and half of it was black and/or missing and it was obviously a molar.   But where the fuck did it come from?  I was perplexed!  This is the store that I opened, have always helmed, I knew everybody that worked here, ever.  Where the fuck did this tooth come from?

I mean, we were a CD store!  It’s pretty straightforward.  Lots of discs, lots of cases, lots of paper sleeves.  Not a lot of teeth.

Today, I can only really see one plausible scenario.  Since we bought and sold discs, when we bought ’em, they often came in big boxes or bags that have obviously been sitting around.

So, imagine this:  Scuzzy crackhead man or woman walks in with a big brown cardboard box full of shitty scratched up Steve Miller discs.  In the bottom of the box, God knows how, but in the bottom there’s an old rotten tooth.  When the staff get the boxes in, they often temporarily stash them behind the counter, right up against the wall where the dust bunnies roam.  Tooth gets dislodged, only to be found on the next thorough cleaning…

That’s just my theory.  You’re welcome to come up with your own.  Bottom line though, how the fuck does an old rotten tooth end up in the carpeting of a CD store?  That’s the biggest mystery I ever encountered.

The answer now is probably lost to the sands of time.  Like the tooth.  Which I threw in the trash seconds later!

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