Part 67: Klassic Kwotes VIII!

1.  “Can I return this CD?” said the man who handed me an empty CD case.

2.  One Boxing Day, I helped a lovely family of four (dad, mom, two boys) pick out roughly $100 worth of music.  They got gift certificates for Christmas.  It took about an hour to help them, as (of course) they wanted to listen to everything first.  I collected all the discs from the players, rang in the order, and they handed me a gift certificate for a different fucking CD chain.  When I explained to them, “Sorry, no, we’re not that store.  We’re [insert name].”  A perfectly reasonable response would have been, “Oh man, sorry…sorry to have taken your time.”  But no.  No, the response this time was, “Well how the hell was I supposed to know that?”  Well, maybe by looking at the fucking sign out front before you walk in!

3. Once, we caught a little thief trying to sell us discs that he had just stolen from HMV an hour before.  Tom was on the phone with a cop at the HMV when Tom asked, “Hey, uhh, while I’m talking to you, do you have any Willie Nelson over there?” 

4.It was always kind of funny when people pronounced names wrong, in certain cases.  So when a guy asked me if I had any Bruce Cockburn, I can tell you that it rhymed with clock-burn.  Figuring that I should probably tell him how to pronounce it so he doesn’t go around all over asking for the CD that way, I politely corrected him.  His response was, “Yeah, great, thanks that’ll come in handy next time I talk to him.”

5. “How do I get in there??”  This desperate question was asked by a woman, banging on our windows, not 10 feet away from our actual entrance.

6. “Can I get each of these in a separate bag?”  A guy bought 10 empty CD cases.  He wanted each one bagged on its own so it didn’t get scratched.

7. “Can I ask you a question?  Are you a believer?”  We were also frequently handed pamphlets from Jehova’s Witnesses.

8. “Got bad news for you buddy.  Somebody ripped you off.”  The customer then opened a CD case and showed me there was no disc inside.  Apparently he didn’t notice the signs that said, “All cases are empty”, nor all the discs in storage behind me.

9. That “All cases are empty” sign was more trouble than it was worth.  Multiple times, people would say to me, “So, I have to pay $12 and I just get the case?  Where am I supposed to get the CD?”

10. “Can I use your phone for a sec?”  A common question, in the pre-cell-phone days.  But this guy used the phone for 10 minutes!  And then when the call waiting went off, instead of handing it to me, he answered it!


  1. That was a cool track, thanks for putting it up. Actually reminded me a bit of the later Tull stuff too, like Rocks on the Road. Love that track as well. I’ll definitely be checking out Bruce… and I’ll be able to pronounce his name right next time I see him! Good times!


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