Part 178: The Kooky Movie People and the Unfortunate Emails

Not an actual still from the movie.  But close!

Not an actual still from the movie. But close!

RECORD STORE TALES Part 178:

The Kooky Movie People and the Unfortunate Emails

In early 2004, a guy I knew from my University days came into the store.  He was making an indy movie with some locals, and he asked me if I’d be willing to donate a gift certificate to help raise funds for the movie.  The store would get their name in the credits.

Knowing my bosses would never go for it, but wanting to help the guy out, I bought a $10 gift certificate myself and donated it to the movie.  He was very grateful and psyched.  He loaned me a DVD of a movie they had made the previous year, a very very low budget fantasy thing.  It was, in a word, awful.  Lord of the Rings, this was not!

Next thing I knew, he had put my email address on a mailing list for these movie people.  I started receiving drafts of what generously might be called a “script” for some kind of spy drama.

I quietly read the emails as they arrived, somewhat amused by the sheer lack of any sort of story, but more interested by the internal strife.  It seems the cast and crew had no faith in their writer/director, and didn’t understand the plot of his movie, at all.  The highlight of this exchange was recorded in my journal.  This is the email, word for word, that I received on May 5 2004.

Date: 2004/05/05
08:24

THERE ARE NO HOLES IN THE SCRIPT!!!!!!!!!!

It is the result of months of rewrites. I am not responsible for your lack of comprehension.

If you do not get the subtext of Dimitri’s quest for redemption, if you do not see how many times MacPherson throws misinformation Rick’s way, if you do not see the fact that Dimitri is NOT LIKED by any of the western cops, if you do not see that Marie is a surrogate sister for dimitri on his quest, if you do not see that Simon is only a catalyst, if you do not see that the whole waterseed subplot is just that and the resolution is NOT part of the storyline, too damned bad.

At this point, I actually started feeling guilty about my voyeuristic enjoyment of these emails.  I asked them to remove me from their mailing list.  The next day, I recorded this in my journal:

Date: 2004/05/06
06:27

When I asked to be removed from their mailing list, they sent me a bunch of emails saying, “No wait! Don’t go! The script is good!” And I had to reply, “I’m not even INVOLVED with your movies. I just donated $10 in gift certificates and suddenly I’m on these mailing lists.”   Though, admittedly, I will miss their ridiculous emails.

The guy from my University days came in to collect the DVD he had loaned me, and never came into the store again.   I don’t know if the film was ever made, and I don’t know if our store ever got its name in the credits.

In fact, I don’t think it would have been a good thing if the store did get its name in the credits.

 

NEXT TIME ON RECORD STORE TALES:

Part 179:  Paul Stanley’s autograph…

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