RECORD STORE TALES Part 318: The Last of the Emails
I’ve been sitting on this installment of Record Store Tales for months. I couldn’t post it without heavily editing it. The emails in question are too raw and emotional for me so I had to edit them down for public consumption. But these emails are relevant, as we wind down our story. They highlight exactly how bad it got for me and why leaving was my only option.
The whole ending has been really difficult to finish as it is. I’ve been delaying and delaying, not wanting to look at it. Part of that is the pain associated with the whole period. The other has been that the Record Store Tales have been so fun and I don’t want it to end.
These truly are the last of the emails, the barrel is now all but dry.
Work just called, I FUCKING HATE WHEN WORK CALLS. They lost somebody’s CDs. They were RIGHT THERE yesterday. They ask, “Did you move them?” No, I did not. The only person who could have is you. Now I have THIS to deal with. I’m pissed off that something so simple gets fucked up even though I left everything extremely clear. AND I AM PISSED THAT I WILL CATCH HELL FOR IT! I’m annoyed every day. And I only get one more hour of peace and quiet at home before I have to go in and deal with bullshit for 8 hours. :(
I have to admit that I am depressed today. The idea of dragging my ass to work is killing me. I can’t do another Christmas. I don’t know what to do. I want to quit. Of course I know what a bad idea that is but I’m dying inside. I can’t even eat. I just want to quit, say goodbye, leave, dedicate all my energies to finding a new job. I mean, who am I kidding? Someone calls me for a job, and we play phone tag for days because I’m never home during business hours. And then when do I schedule an interview when I’m always working? It’s impossible. I don’t know what to do.
This has been the worst Christmas season so far, it has been really difficult to put a smile on my face and put any effort into work. I need out so bad.
You can see I was fraying at the ends. It feels like…a different person.