Re-enactments of actual in-store events
#408: Record Store Tales – The Movie
On our old store applications/music test, one of the questions we asked was, “Who would play you in the movie of your life?” (It may have said “musical of your life”, I don’t quite remember exactly.) We had some good answers to the question. I always said that if I had taken the test, I would have answered “Meat Loaf”.
The musical or movie of my life would have be centred on Record Store Tales, obviously. That would require a lot of creative casting in order to fully capture the eccentric personalities. We couldn’t just try to re-capture the vibe of High Fidelity or Empire Records. We would strive for finding the perfect actors for the roles.
In addition to writing and producing the feature, I would also insist upon the last word when it comes to casting. I’ll be a control freak a-la E.L. James on set. I would seek out Martin Scorsese to direct.
The movie would not be without its challenges. How, for example, do we film the famous Open Door Shit scene? I would insist on it being in the movie. Otherwise, what’s the point of it? I would throw a Christian Bale-sized temper tantrum if it were to be cut. We’d also have to get permission to use a lot of great songs, which can be tricky to secure.
But what about the cast? This is how I picture it.
- T-Rev – Brad Pitt
- The Owner – Joe Flaherty (as Guy Caballero)
- Iron Tom Sharpe –
Jon Snowerr I mean Kit Harington
- Uncle Meat – Rip Torn
- Aaron – Jason Statham
- She Who Shall Not Be Named – Since Margaret Hamilton is dead, we will have to audition this role.
- Joe Big Nose – His lookalike of course, David Schwimmer. If Schwimmer is unavailable, we go down the list to Freddie Prinze Jr.
- Dandy Douche – Andy Dick
- Jonathan the Accountant – Romany Malco
- Mrs. LeBrain – Kate Upton
- Annoying solicitors – Tom Cruise and John Travolta
- and featuring Meat Loaf Aday as “LeBrain”
What about you? Who would you like to play you in the movie or musical of your life? Consider it deeply and leave a comment!