#494: I Think I’m Going Bald

GETTING MORE TALE #494: I Think I’m Going Bald
(a sequel to #488: Almost Cut My Hair)

A short while back, we took a look at popular hair styles in different genres of music.  One hair style we ignored, because it really knows no boundaries, is the old fashioned bald head, or the “Jean-Luc” as the kids call it today.*

When I was a young fella discovering rawk at the dawn of the 1980’s, I hadn’t seen any bald rock stars that impressed me.  Now my first musical love truly was John Williams, and he was bald.  Hard rock at the beginning of the 80’s wasn’t like that.  There was…a uniform.  Unless you were Rob Halford, Paul Di’Anno or Udo Dirkschneider, part of that uniform was having long hair to thrash about.

The only bald rockers I had seen included one rare picture of Bob Kulick, brother of Bruce, and the bass player from Blotto. I didn’t like Blotto: they also had a short haired geek with thick rimmed glasses on guitar. So, by extension, I didn’t like bald heads in rock!

Then grunge came, and long hair was no longer a “thing”. Then, even worse, our mortal rock stars began aging! How was this possible? There was no time to consider the thought, as one by one, rock stars shaved their heads completely: Rob Halford, Kerry King, Scott Ian, Billy Corgan, Joe Satriani, hell even Billy fucking Joel has lost the curls and gone cue-ball!

There’s nothing wrong with the bald head, obviously I have learned this now. I myself have rocked the bald look on and off for about 15 years now. Most people don’t do it on and off, but I’ve been blessed with a full head of hair (thanks mom’s side of the family!), and I shave it for convenience and to look tougher than I already am. Seriously though, there’s nothing better than having a shower, jumping in your clothes and heading right to work without worrying about hair. There’s nothing better to beat the heat in the summer either.

Now, funny thing. My mom and my wife both think I am going actually bald. They tell me my hairline is receding. What they don’t know is that my hairline started receding at age 16. Then it stopped and never started receding again! I have the exact same hairline I had at 16, only nobody believes me, because at 16 I was trying to hide that by growing it out!  It has not moved one centimetre since highschool, and that’s a fact, Jack!

This being summer time, I have shaved it all off once again.  This is the closest you may ever see to a picture of “topless LeBrains” here.

Who are your favourite bald rockers? Do you favour Sinead O’Connor for her fearless 80’s buzz cut? Do you call it a tie between Phil Collins and Peter Gabriel? There are so many epically talented bald rockers (not looking at you, Chris Daughtry) today that it truly is hard to choose.

* Not really, but a better name than the “Bieber” which was the name of an actual fucking hair cut.




  1. I just got my hair cut last week.

    The stylist and I talked about hair styles and I mentioned Bon Jovi. I got one of those looks from a younger person we old folk sometimes get. She told me she wouldn’t even know what his hair looks like. She had heard of him but didn’t know any of his songs. WOW. Did that make me feel old. I asked her if she did a lot of Bieber cuts and she said almost every day.

    She said the thing about the ‘little turd from Stratford'(a term of affection from our local dj, Craig Fee) is he changesnhisnhair so often, by the time a kid wants his cut, Bieber has changed it. I asked about Bieber’s apparent use of dreadlocks, and we both agreed that was dumb.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There was a period in the early 2000’s…a sort of midlife crisis period that led to facial piercings and therefore lots of dates with goth and punk girls…where I talked about getting white guy dreads. Tommy Lee had them. I was talked out of it. This is the only place you are going to be reading this, this is never going into a Record Store Tale. LOL

      Liked by 2 people

    1. He always looked cool to me…always liked Midnight Oil. That was from my best friend Bob. The conversation went down like, “The singer is a bald guy but it’s OK because his voice is cool!”

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Do they still do sporadic tours once in a while? Yeah they were a great band and absolutely underappreciated over here. They had their “moment” here, but it was too brief.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. That’s the sense I got too, Mike. Coulda bin contenders. I don’t actually know their status at present, but that would be good. Only saw them once; was expecting little and was mightily impressed.


  2. I’ve never shaved my head. Ever. Had it cut real short once. Never shaved. My head’s the wrong shape for such shenanigans.

    Favourite bald rocker. Maynard James Keenan, probably. Though he’s sometimes not bald. Bald through choice … does that count?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ha I get my receding hairline from my father, or should I say “receded” because like you I am quite sure that it has held its grown since I was 21. As for my favourite bald rocker, I’ve got to go Canadian with Gord Downie from The Tragically Hip.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. The shortest my hair has ever been is when I cut off my hair in a pixie cut 20 years ago. My hair is fine in texture and I used to have a lot of it. Not any more! My hair is thin. Thankfully I have a good stylist.
    I wish short cuts were acceptable for women without them being called lesbian immediately…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Anyone who thinks lesbian when they see a woman with short hair is a doofus. First of all, who cares? It’s just hair. Second of all, how does short hair automatically mean lesbian? Are there no lesbians with long hair? Does the biology of being a homosexual make short hair an imperative? See? The logic fails.

      My lovely wife has had super-short hair since the 90s. Totally suits her. She says she probably would never go back to having long hair (hers is real thick, and curls after a certain length). Way too much hassle!

      Anyway, all this to say you should do what you want. To hell with what other people think. And if they say something stupid like lesbian because of a haircut, you don’t need those people. Simple! It’d be like people assuming I’m a skinhead because I shave my head. I couldn’t be further from one, but I imagine some people might have that idiotic notion. Again, their problem, not mine!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. OK now that I read back my comment, it sounds like every woman with short hair gets pegged a lesbian automatically, and I know this not to be true. But, speaking from my experience, the times in my life I had super short hair, I would get flak from some dummies thinking I was a lesbian, due to the hair and my manner of dress. Nothing could be further from the truth! I heard it a lot. I had a stronger backbone than that and went about my business. But, people are ignorant and try to figure others out by their outward appearance. I guess for me they concluded I was into women…


        1. I know all about this Sarca. My wife suffers from severe male pattern baldness so two years ago, she decided to just shave it all off. She still gets looks from lots of people either from ignorant dummies or expressions of sympathy because they think she’s got cancer. As for me, I got a lot of sh*t off people back in the days of 80s Regan America for growing my hair long. Only rock stars were supposed to do that. Ha!

          Liked by 3 people

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