WTF

WTF Search Terms: WOO! edition

WTF SEARCH TERMS XXXVII: WOO! edition

What are “WTF Search Terms”, you ask?  Simply, they are phrases that people typed into a search engine to wind up at mikeladano.com.  They’re sometimes weird, sometimes wonderful, and always amusing.  I hope you enjoy this 37th instalment of WTF Search Terms!

First please welcome “Nature Boy” Ric Flair to the WTF Search Term family!  The 16 time world wrestling champion was immortalized in the Legendary Klopeks song “Ric Flair” from their album Straight to Hell.  Someone googled the lyrics:

i wanna do a chop i wanna do a woo i wanna be like ric flair cause he’s so fucking cool

I love that somebody heard that lyric and had to google it.  Next up:

does anyone like the 2002 version of blizzard of ozz

The answer is yes:  Sharon does.  But next is a band that Sharon does not like.

benjamin of beef iron maiden

Oh, autocarrot.  I think they meant Benjamin Breeg.

This next person mixed up two bands, but it also could be autocarrot.  Funny either way:

deep leppard heartbreak

Then a grouping of searches for Snake the Tattoo Man.  But people need to decide where he’s from.  (It’s London).

snake from brantford tattoo guy
guy named snake in london, on
the man called snake, london, on

I got a chuckle from this next one:

fankie banali sucks

Well, let’s be fair.  Frankie Banali is an awesome drummer.  I’d never say he sucks.  I never have.  But his current version of Quiet Riot does kinda suck.  Unlike the following album:

europe last look at eden satanic lyrics

Oh, come on.  I’m sick of the “satanic” accusations levelled at this band.  Some deluded people actually think Joey Tempest is a demon.  I’m not fucking kidding.  Next question.

does album slave to the grind have any value?

Only what the music is worth to you.

which rock band was dressed to die in 1974

Hah!  None.  But Kiss were Dressed to Kill in 1975.

Thanks for reading!  The WTF Search Terms keep rolling in, so there will always be more….

 

 

 

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WTF Search Terms: Amanda Seyfried edition

WTF SEARCH TERMS XXXVI: Amanda Seyfried edition

Here at mikeladano.com, we like Amanda Seyfried.  She’s an actress who has also done plenty of singing.  She has a great voice; check out the song “Mean Old Moon” below from Ted 2.  She seems like she has a pretty good sense of humour, appearing in a couple McFarlane films, both of which made fun of her gigantic eyes.

So please welcome Amanda Seyfried to the latest edition of WTF Search Terms!  It’s the original series of weird things that somebody thought to type into a search engine and somehow end up here!

1a. porn pictures of ted2 actress lawyer

1b. amanda seyfried feet ted (two searches!)

Here you go, pal.  I guess this is the picture (from our Ted 2 review) that he came for!

And here’s the best of the rest for this instalment:

2. a disc of worms on the head

3. flower on shit

4. disgrace for cum

5. fifty shades of piss

6. dwonload full boobsy_animation_whores_wearing_glasses_acquire_screwed_hardcore_

7. leslie easterbrook arrested

8. solo jim carrey def leppard

9. japanese pornogramm

10. porn bonanza gallery

I hope you enjoyed these weird and wonderful search terms.  More soon.

 

 

Guest WTF Search Terms: Trailer Park Boys edition

WTF SEARCH TERMS XXXV: Trailer Park Boys edition
Guest shot by Thussy

Thussy Boy back with another WTF Search Terms…this time to celebrate the release of Season 11 of one of the funniest shows on Netflix right now.  Let’s get two birds stoned at once.   Here is WTF Search Terms: Trailer Park Boys edition.

10. fifty shades of piss

Piss jug alley: “These are your father’s urine containers, Ricky.”  The ironic thing is I need to piss really bad now.

9. trailer park boys kareoke cab

As far as I know it does not exist but I must see this if it does.  [It was a scene in Out of the Park: Europe, in which they meet NHL star Esa Tikkanen — LeBrain.]

8. what episode is the trailer park boys where they go to Denmark

Third episode of Out of the Park season 1.

7. in tpb europe do they throw up

It sure fucking looks like it.  They were probably hammered.

6. trailer park boys europe wheres randy and lahey

They are rehearsing for a play at the Blandford recreational centre.

5. trailer park boys remake rush music video

From Live in Fuckin’ Dublin.  Shot for shot remake of “Closer to the Heart”.  It is amazing.

4. the green bastard bubbles

Hands down probably one of my favorite episodes of the show right up there with Conky.  The Green Bastard – Parts Unknown!

3. thank santa’s tits tpb

Favorite quote from the show, and definitely one I use.

2. what episode of trailer park boys does rick turn trailer to hockey rink

That would be Episode 5 of Season 8. “What do you think Orangie, look how much wet there is.  You fuckin like that don’t ya.  You want to get in there and swim your gold little tits off I bet.”

1. why wasnt jay rock or lucey on tpb season 11

J-Roc just felt like his time on the show was at an end.  Lucy quit when Mike Smith was arrested for domestic violence (The charges were dropped).  Funny thing is it came out after that she actually told the producers of the show she was planning on quitting a week before Mike Smith got arrested.  I think she used it as an excuse to leave.


Thanks Thussy for another WTF Search Terms!

WTF Search Terms: Celebrity Gossip edition

WTF SEARCH TERMS XXXIV: Celebrtity Gossip edition

WTF search terms are fewer and further between today. But they still trickle in, oh yes they do! This time out, people found their way to my site searching for gossip. Have a look below at the bizarre things that people Google:

  • regina russell fucked by frankie bnali photos

Nooooo.  No no no.  That’s something you could not un-see.

  • did steve perry have long hair once

Yes and it was beautiful.

  • bobby dall sexual gossip

One of those things that just makes you question why.

  • how big is orlando bloom’s wang
  • orlando boom wang

It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean.

  • gene simmons is a wanker

Gene prefers the term Asshole.

  • geoff tate is a douche

Aaron prefers the term “Stabby”.

  • does joey tempest sings live on stage?

Yes.

  • fake joey tempest facebook

Yes, there have been a few.

  • is miranda larsson married to joey tempest ???

Noooooo.

  • joey tempest shirtless

You’re welcome.

 

 

 

 

WTF Search Terms: Trailer Park Life edition

WTF SEARCH TERMS XXXIII: Trailer Park Life edition

They’re baaaack!  Unusual search terms that somebody typed into a search engine only to find themselves here!  This time however I can answer some of your questions.  There were groupings of numerous Trailer Park Boys search terms this time out.  We’re fans here at LeBrain HQ, and we can answer each of them.

1. super double bunk bq episode

Season 3, episode 6:  “Where in the Fuck is Randy’s Barbeque?”  The Super-Double-Bunk-B-Q is stacked to include two barbeques with two propane tanks, a toaster oven, and an electric stovetop with two burners.  There is even a side attachment with a shelf for condiments and a bolt-on television set.

2. what tpb episode did ricky build the hockey rink

Season 8, episode 5:  “Whore-A-Geddon”.

3. what episode does ricky have orangie in the bong

Season 8, episode 1:  “Money Can Suck My Cock”.

4. what happened to ray in tpb

Ray faked his own death in the movie Don’t Legalize It (2014).

Then, we have a couple musical inquiries here.  Yes, Steve Perry once had really pretty long hair.

5. did steve perry have long hair once

6. okay do you can you tell me how much an aerosmith box of fire album is

7. joey tempest obsession

8. why spaghetti incident sucked

And finally, a couple head-scratchers.  I have no idea how these led to me:

9. filoplume feathers

10. boogbobs

BONUS SEARCH TERM:

11. amanda seyfried ted 2 hot

TED 2

See ya next time for some more search terms!

 

 

WTF Comments: “Now I will believe that there are unicorns…”

WTF Comments IV:  “Now I will believe that there are unicorns…”
(William Shakespeare, The Tempest)

These comments went into my spam, so even though they are two months old, I didn’t see them until today. The Joey Tempest Conspiracy Theorists have reared their ugly heads again. Not much commentary needed from me this time, just read and see for yourself! It’s just a huge bag of WTF. I’ll only add two things:

1. I couldn’t even hack a calculator.

2. I honestly had no idea Billy was a dude. There are lots of girls named Billy! I thought it was an all-female mob of obsessed Joey Tempest fans. Now we know it’s a mixed gender group. Hooray!


img_20160916_070920

img_20160916_070932

img_20160916_070949


Billy, this is your official public apology for thinking you’re a girl. You don’t have to show me your wang to prove it, I believe you.

Just when I thought this couldn’t get any weirder, I had to check my spam. Jesus. Happy Friday!

 

 

WTF Search Terms: Dicks Get Clicks edition

dick shaped fruit

WTF SEARCH TERMS XXXII:  Dicks Get Clicks edition

 

I’ll admit it with no shame:  Sometimes I insert certain phrases into reviews, hoping they will eventually garner some hits from bizarre search terms.  I did that this week with my Ozzy Osbourne:  Ozzmosis review.  Trying to strike while the iron was still hot, I claimed that Rick Wakeman’s organ sound on the album was “bigger than Orlando Bloom’s wang”.  This may or may not even be true.

Only a day later, I got my first hit for this.  The evidence is below.

orlando blooms wang

I admit I’m getting some smug satisfaction from this.  Dicks get clicks.  At least if they belong to Orlando Bloom (and therefore, by extension, Katy Perry).

BLOOM

A safely anonymous friend of mine said, “I came across the uncensored versions. Oh my. I never thought twice about Orlando being hot or whatever, but dayum.  I guess I just needed a mouth…errr eye opener.”  I guess lots of people will be searching for Orlando Bloom’s wang.

Here are nine more search terms from recent weeks, none of them nearly as classy as Orlando Bloom’s wang.

  1. shit hand in shower
  2. shower poop guy
  3. russian milf
  4. www . fuck animals . com
  5. porn mcgangbang
  6. marilyn manson sucking dick pictures
  7. japanporn
  8. guy porn fuck she male real play mp4 down
  9. videos of trailer park aex partes

 

Thanks for joining us for these fucked-up search terms.  Whose wang will it be next month?  Who knows?

 

WTF Search Terms: Freddie Mercury’s Mic Stand edition

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM - JULY 13: Freddie Mercury of Queen performs on stage at Live Aid on July 13th, 1985 in Wembley Stadium, London, England (Photo by Peter Still/Redferns)

WTF SEARCH TERMS XXXI: Freddie Mercury’s Mic Stand edition

Gather ’round yon computers and tablets boys and girls, as we once again recount some of the…errr…more amusing search terms that led people here to mikeladano.com.  If you’re new, this is a series of bizarre things that people have typed into search engines to get here.  And once again, this proves that there are some pretty sick individuals out there!  Let’s begin.

The Swedish rock band Europe, and their singer Joey Tempest, have been the source of many bizarre hits from the search terms.  This is NOT the first time!

1. joey tempest satanist
2. satanist sign on shert of joey tempest
3. opinion of joey tempest about religion

Not sure why the obsession with Joey Tempest and religion. At all.

Here’s one to warm the heart:

4. avril fuck by bruce dickinson

And I’m sure many people have this question:

5. did freddie mercury masturbate his mic stand

Next up we have Poison. I’m sure Poison had lots of dirty sex back in the day, but this? Who the fuck wants to know? Bobby Dall is, like, the least sexy guy in Poison.

6. bobby dall sex tales

And we round out today’s list with just a bunch of dirty, filthy shit. Literally.

7. trough urinal dick parade
8. film porno women shit and piss
9. boy to boy big cock six part
10. hyenas fucking

Thank you internet! You are the gift that keeps on giving.

Guest WTF Search Terms: Fenway Park Dicks edition with Derek Kortepeter

WTF SEARCH TERMS XXX:  Fenway Park Dicks edition with Derek Kortepeter

Holy cow!  It’s the 30th edition of WTF Search Terms!  Please welcome back the talented multi-instrumentalist, the scourge of gamers, the nemesis of Donald Trump’s Youtube supporters…Derek Kortepeter!   Derek always enjoys the WTF Search Terms — those whacky things that people type into search engines and somehow wind up here.  No Joey Tempest search terms made the list this time.  Sorry folks, but that’s not Derek’s fault!  Without further adieu, here are Derek’s 10 favourite recent search terms from the mikeladano.com hit parade, with his commentary!

XXX


 

1. ladano love girl

Clearly the name of Mike’s unreleased debut album that was leaked in 2003.

2. buddies compare dicks urinal

Tell me wherever these urinals are and I will make sure to avoid them. No it has nothing to do with insecurities about my penis size…

3. cocksuckers chicken jacked me

Sounds like the crime spree of stealing chickens is now an epidemic. I can see it now turning into a video game: “CTA: Chicken Theft Auto.” Will it offend politicians, Jack Thompson, and Anita Sarkeesian as much as Grand Theft Auto? Time will tell.

4. fenway park trough urinal where all the dicks hang out

OK now I have one more reason to not be a fucking Red Sox fan. Jesus Christ.

5. deer foot gun rack

A gun rack made entirely of deer feet seems a little useless. I mean, will it actually hold your rifle?

[LeBrain interjects:  Yes Derek, it does hold a rifle.  See?  Here’s mine.]

GUN RACK

6. summersausage.com

My summer sausage is always free. No need to shop online.

7. video porno de ladano

Something you want to tell us Mike?

8. girl gets interestet with wanker on train porno

Just a PSA, huffing paint thinner and using Google is not recommended.

9. sarah e. dunsworth tits

“Tits” sure is an awkward last name, but this is what appears on her birth certificate.

10. gene simmons is a wanker

Gene can’t possibly be a wanker. I doubt his dick has worked in years. That’s the tradeoff for having that tongue. You have to make a trade with the dick fairy to get a tongue that big. What? I thought this was common knowledge?

GENE

WTF Search Terms: Joey Tempest’s Real Hair edition plus bonus WTF Comments!

JOEY

WTF Search Terms XXIX: Joey Tempest’s Real Hair edition

Good day, eh? Welcome to the latest edition of WTF Search Terms: those whacky things people type into a search engine that somehow lead them here! I find that certain topics go in waves. For example, a popular question often searched for is “Can Marilyn Manson suck his own dick?” (Answer: No.) These things come and go like trends. Nobody will search for Manson’s dick for months, and then suddenly in one week, I’m getting multiple hits for Manson’s wang using different phrasing. Of course, that could still just be one person, trying and clicking in vain that it will be a different site this time….

Lately, Joakim Larsson, better known as Joey Tempest, the lead singer (or not?) of Europe, has popped up in search terms, and in the comments!  Remember a few months back, when we were visited by Joey’s supposed spouse, Miranda Larsson?  This time, in fact, Joakim himself stopped by to say hello:

JOAKIM LARSSON

Woah!

Before you start kneeling and cawing “We’re not worthy, we’re not worthy!”, let’s have a closer look. Joey apparently uses a Yahoo email address, and according to the IP address, lives in Virginia. His IP address is also an exact match with a previous comment left by “Miranda Larsson”, also living in Virginia. But wait…according to Wikipedia and its source material, “Joey Tempest currently lives in London with his wife Lisa Worthington and sons James Joakim and Jack Johnston Larsson. He does not have any social media pages apart from the official ones for Europe listed on their website.”

Conclusion:  Sadly, I do not think the real Joey Tempest has ever had the fortune to stop by here at mikeladano.com.  I guess I’ll have to remain content with a bitchy Kenny Hotz comment from a couple years ago.

These recent comments came with a spate of WTF search terms!  Seems I’m not the only one wondering about Miranda and Joey and…well…and just see for yourself.  Enjoy these Joey (and one for bandmate John Norum) WTFs!

1. joey tempest miranda

2. miranda larsson tempest

3. is joey tempest married with miranda

4. joey tempest and wife

5. joey tempest satanist

6. joey tempest real hair color

7. john norum hair piece

And, the winner this time:

8. joey tempest a woman


Come back regularly for more WTFs!