GETTING MORE TALE #553: Jesus’ Lyric
Many record store employees drink. Record store people are just people, and some people drink. And some drink, a lot. I was never much of a drinker, not until I moved in with T-Rev in ’98. Then I caught up pretty quickly (Captain Morgan’s and Coke, not beer), but I still couldn’t compete with those guys. (In fact, I still remember when I went out for my 30th birthday. I was accused by the Operations Manager/Bully of “faking” that I was drunk. I’m a light weight, and she was just a meany.)
Like me, some of the younger folks, they just couldn’t pace themselves. The difference is they’d be drinking while having to open the store the following morning. A lot of them would be out partying, and then we’d get the inevitable phone call the next morning. “I’m sick. Can you cover for me today?” It happened more than once, not naming names.
One guy, who helped me set up the first store that I managed, came into work hungover so many damn times. The first time, I had to send him home. He was absolutely useless. He was actually trying to work with his head down touching the counter. He was slowing me down, so I sent him home and somebody else came in.
The same guy came in hungover one Saturday morning, later on, after we opened. He had his head down on the counter when a customer approached him. He raised his head.
“Uhh, excuse me. Do you have the soundtrack to Jason’s Lyric?”
The hungover employee stumbled over to the computer.
“It’s a movie soundtrack,” clarified the customer, seeing Mr. Hangover was struggling.
“No. We don’t have it.”
The customer asked him to check to see if one of our other stores had it, so he picked up the phone. The customer went back to browsing while Mr. Hangover was making the call. We only had three stores at the time. One of them had Jason’s Lyric used on CD!
Mr. Hangover then walked out onto the floor to tell the customer about the CD. Only problem: he didn’t remember who asked. Or the exact name of the CD he asked for. So Mr. Hangover approached somebody who looked right.
Walking up to the unsuspecting stranger he said, “Hey man. They got your Jesus’ Lyric over there.”
“What?”
“They got your Jesus’ Lyric soundtrack CD at the other store that you asked for.”
Overhearing this, the correct customer identified himself, and things got sorted. No big surprise ending here: Mr. Hangover was let go soon after!
mikeladano.com 
It’s the bible, isn’t it? That’s the answer to the question ‘Where can you find Jesus’s lyric?’
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I didn’t drink much until I joined the marines but by the time I got out, I did. However, even though I drank a lot my first year out, I never let it interfere with me going to work. Jesus lyric, ha! I thought at first you might be posting about a Stryper album or in the KISS mode, mention US Christian’s obsession with them being Satan worshipers.
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Ya if some one calls you a lightweight just go along with them…
Beer is funny with me …Sometimes i can have a few while other times it takes 1 and i’m bloated…
lately though its’ been vodka and 7….
Love that Webster track!
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She wasn’t calling me a lightweight, she accusing me of pretending to be drunk. Why I don’t know.
I don’t drink beer…I don’t drink anything at all anymore, so no more hangovers! Caffeine is good for a buzz when I want that feeling.
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What would be the point?
Hahaha. I tricked you guys into thinking I was drunk. Yup, I really fooled you. I really gained a lot by doing it too.
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You’d have to ask her. She had an opinion about everything I did. I remember once I bought the new Dokken, and mentioned it a couple times to people…and she snapped and said “Will you PLEASE stop saying ‘DOKKEN’!!” No shit, no lie. That’s a story prob’ly.
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I had an asshole, abusive boss that would assume things about people.
He would lump people into what he thought they were.
I once told him I went to a blues show. He looked at me completely dumbfounded and said “I would have never thought that about you.”
As for your old boss, I would have changed the subject.
“You should have seen me the other weekend, I was dockin’ this boat and a person came over and told me don’t try to be dockin’ this boat here….”
;)
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“Alka Seltzer, Tang and a 50…..”
I love that song but I hate hangovers. It has been a real long time for me. I think it was Oktoberfest about 20 years ago. Draft beer, David Wilcox and Walter Ostanek. Fun times until the next day. In fact the next 2-3 days I was a write off.
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Weird, my wife brought up Walter Ostanek in the car today right around when you wrote this comment. WOAH.
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Eww. Those Walter Ostanek stains are hard to get off of car seats.
;)
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I can’t imagine turning up for work so bollocksed from the night before that you couldn’t even do your job. That’s just weak. No wonder you let him go!
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The young just can’t pace themselves!
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A good ol’ hangover shift. Had one or two of them myself… reckon it’s cool as long as you aren’t operating heavy machinery.
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