Expanding on Record Store Tales Part 58 – Klassic Kwotes VII
GETTING MORE TALE #671: A Clockwork Orange
“Do you like the drugs?” asked the creepy customer looking for the A Clockwork Orange soundtrack.
Let’s back up a bit.
One of our early employees, Scott, made a critical error one Sunday at the Record Store. This is a great lesson for every retail employee, everywhere worldwide. Never, ever, ever tell a customer that you have something if you can’t sell it to them. Just lie. Claim you don’t have it. If you say, “We have it, but I can’t sell it to you,” then you are opening a potentially big can ‘o worms.
A very creepy dude came in one afternoon asking for the soundtrack to A Clockwork Orange by Wendy Carlos. It is a potent mix of classical music and synthesizer compositions. Beethoven was a major part of the film’s plot, and Beethoven is also a huge chunk of the soundtrack. This customer wanted the soundtrack to psych him up for his court date.
That’s right. For his court date.
Too much information? Customers often shared with us the weirdest details of their lives. We didn’t need to know he wanted A Clockwork Orange to pump himself up for court.
Thinking he was being helpful, Scott said, “Yes we have a used copy, we just bought it today. But we have to hold it for 15 days before we can sell it.”
Scott was an honest guy. According to the bi-laws, all used inventory had to be held for a 15 day waiting period. In a business where buying and selling stolen goods was always a danger, this helped protect us, and any victims of theft. 15 days gave the cops time to go over our purchase reports and see if anything matched up. If they did, then we already took the seller’s ID. The cops can track the thieves that way.
The 15 day holding period was standard but not all stores honoured it. We did, without fail. There was no breaking the 15 day hold. Not even for your court date.
The creepy guy tried to cajole Scott into selling the CD early and wouldn’t let up. He needed it before the court date, not after! He had to get psyched up! So much was riding on this one CD. The soundtrack was still somewhat rare as a used CD. The 1998 reissue was yet to come.
Eventually the creep tried to bribe Scott. “Do you like the drugs?” he asked, implying he could get Scott anything he needed.
To his credit, Scott didn’t budge, though he certainly wished he never told the guy about A Clockwork Orange in the first place. The customer asked to speak to the manager instead (me). He came back then next day when I was working.
The guy walked in, wearing a green suit and carrying a briefcase. He told me the whole story about how he “needed” that CD to get ready for court, but that nobody else in town had it. He begged me for the CD, though with me he neglected to ask if I “like the drugs”. He even said he’d pay over sticker price, but there was nothing I could do.
Scott was a little shaken by the creep. It’s not every day you are solicited at your workplace by a drug dealer bound for court. I can’t help it, but I think of him every single time I see the soundtrack for A Clockwork Orange.
Oh, and by the way: he did buy the CD when the 15 day waiting period was up! I didn’t ask how his court date went. Apparently well enough.
Daym, that guy sounds creepy. The stuff you dealt with in retail…
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I’m glad it’s in the past now. And I’m glad people enjoy the stories!
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Mike, sometimes when I read your record store tales, I am reminded of the film “Mall Rats.” You do get some strange characters hanging around the malls and this guy seems just the sort.
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Its what you’d get if Kevin Smith wrote High Fidelity…
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Yeah he would have fit right in at at the mall!
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It is guys like him that caused me to leave retail. I was tired of working with the public.
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Can’t blame you. I’m happier now.
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I feel like you should’ve asked how it went in court! I mean, green suit and a briefcase… Yup, you get it all in retail, that is a creepy story. I like the 15 day hold idea, I hadn’t realized you guys did that… it must require some serious storage space when you receive large collections…
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Yeah man! We used those big tupperware containers, you know the big kind? But most days, you couldn’t get the lid on, because we bought so much! 15 of those containers in a back room. Each one with the date you could put it out written on a piece of paper.
The worse was the day after a long weekend. If you were closed Monday, then that meant you had two boxes to put out on Tuesday! Those were busy busy days.
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Yeah but still so much goodness. I mean, there are waaaay worse jobs! I’ve worked several of them myself!
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A creepy story. Retail is a tough business. Aren’t you relieved that you aren’t still in retail?
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That must be some soundtrack.
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That’s a great story Mike. Maybe that CD still had his prints on from the crime scene and he wanted to keep the evidence safe?
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Great yarn. Got a vinyl copy but don’t play it very often. At all. Powerful film, but.
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Yeah. It’s not a Kubrick I watch often. Doesn’t put me in a “chipper” mood so to speak.
I can watch Dr. Strangelove any time, and I can jump in at any point. And I love his early films, particularly The Killing. Otherwise, not a feel good kinda filmmaker.
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OK we’re writing a script based on that story. CB nas the original record and would have traded it for his “Green Suit” straight up.
(The Killing with one of my favorite head cases, Timothy Carey, I think he’s a “green suit” kinda guy. Plus Elisha Cook Jr. I guess I gotta watch it again. Thanks).
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The Killing is an amazing film. Timothy Carey was also wonderful in Paths of Glory. Elisha Cook Jr… I always go back to original Star Trek. He played a space lawyer.
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Carey is coming up on a take I’m doing on “Film Bad Asses’. Joe Turkel was also in both those films. He’s another Kubrick guy. Lloyd the Bartender in ‘The Shining’.
Elisha Cook as a space lawyer. That is so cool. I’m laughing at that one.They cast all sorts of great character actors in the original Star Trek. I probably seen it. He was in everything. If he played a lawyer he would be a little off center. Good stuff.
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Joe Turkel creeps me out because of Lloyd. You can’t see his face without seeing Lloyd.
Here is the Elisha episode of Trek. One of the best of all time. If you have Netflix, give it a watch! This is a personal top 10 episode.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0708425/
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I will watch. I’ll be curious if I remember it. I watched the original series along with Twilight Zone, Outer Limits. So many cool character actors showed up on all three.
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No kidding! Twilight Zone, I only have 2 seasons. The first was a big box set with a huuuge book detailing every episode in the series. Of Shatner himself did 2 episodes of the original Twilight Zone. A show that we were allowed to watch as kids, because it was intelligent television often with a moral or message.
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I watched the first few seasons again a few years ago. A warm up for “Movie Night”. There are some real good ones. Time to revisit
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