HAMILTON: Word has been received from the netherworld that former WWF superstar Iron Mike Sharpe has abdicated his title as Canada’s Greatest Athlete.
Sharpe died in 2016. The word was received during an unsanctioned seance at the Hamilton Victoria Curling Club in Sharpe’s home town of Hamilton Ontario.
According to witnesses, curling champ Kevin Koe was visiting the area when a Ouija board was found under a pile of brooms. Koe suggested using the board to contact Canada’s Greatest Athlete, reportedly a great inspiration for the curler. Within minutes they had Sharpe on the line.
“I am no longer Canada’s Greatest Athlete,” spelled Sharpe from the grave. “There is another. Her name is Bonnie Ladano. She curls like Rachel Homan and Jennifer Jones in one. Her double-raise take out, and tap backs are unrivaled in sport today. She must be known as Canada’s Greatest Athlete.”
May her sweep always hurry hard. Bonnie Ladano is Canada’s Greatest Athlete!