#767: Just Older

A sequel to Getting More Tale #332:  Getting Older Everyday

 

 

GETTING MORE TALE #767: Just Older

Unless you’re a teenager buying booze with your fake ID, nobody likes being mistaken for older than they actually are.

When I was in my 30s, people used to think I was in my 20s.  I looked younger and I dressed younger because I worked at a Record Store and I could get away with it.  I bleached my hair, had piercings, and flashy shirts.  I saw people working at hair salons looking like rock stars so I thought the same could work for me in a Record Store.  Eventually I had a collection of over 30 flashy shirts.  I don’t think my bosses were impressed with my new image, but it was a hit with the ladies.

I loved looking younger than my actual age but all good things come to an end.

After quitting the store I wanted to change my line of work and look more professional.  The fancy shirts went into a closet.  The pleather pants were saved for Halloween.  The hair was toned down.  Eventually it started to go grey.  My beard turned white and I got fat.  It can happen to anyone.

I own the “old man” schtick now, but there is still one thing that I hate.  And I do mean hate.

Mrs. LeBrain is a little younger than me (I’m a 1972 model and she’s a 1978), but not by a significant difference.  Where she wins is a natural youthful look.  People always mistake her for someone much younger.  She loves being asked for ID.  That kind of thing makes her day.  What pisses me off is when people mistake me for her father!  And it keeps happening!

I took Jen to the hospital to have some tests done (no worries, all good) and had about an hour to kill.  I had an mp3 player loaded up with Kiss.  Because Heavy Metal OverloRd had been talking about Hotter Than Hell (a personal favourite and among the first Kiss records I ever owned), I decided to take a nice morning walk while listening to that album.  When done I progressed onward to Rock and Roll Over.  It was a lovely morning filled with cool summer breezes, trainspotting, and Paul Stanley at his peak.

I got back in good time and soon a nurse called to tell me Jen was all set to go.  She led me to her bed, and I saw a big bright smile on her face.  It’s the smile that keeps me going every day.  “Hi ‘dad’!” she said grinning.  I was confused.  Did she have a seizure?  Was she really mistaking me for her dad?

No, she was playing around.  The nurse asked if she wanted them to call “her father” to come and get her.  Me being her father!  Jesus Murphy….

I hate, hate, hate being mistaken for her father!  I didn’t even have my big white beard!

I’ll let it slide because those nurses did a great job as always, but c’mon!

I looked exactly like the guy in the photograph below.  I don’t think he looks old enough to be Jen’s dad, do you?

The hat, maybe?  The day I took Jen to the hospital I was wearing a Van Halen T-shirt and camo shorts with shoes and socks.

I have since shed the locks; a mixture of “shit brown” (my dad’s words) and grey highlights.  I now rock the bald head again, but do I look any younger?  I don’t think so.

It’s a game I just can’t win!  Though it doesn’t really matter does it?  Jen prefers me with less hair, and it’s a lot less work.  I was just keeping it long just to have long hair at Sausagefest for once.  I enjoyed that (it also kept my neck from getting burned), but long hair doesn’t feel nice in the summer time.  It’s time to go back to what feels good!

I have a birthday coming up this week, but I’m not old.  Just older!

 

35 comments

  1. Haha. They say age is just a number. But some days I really do feel older. Thankfully, I haven’t been mistaken for my wife’s father…. yet.

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  3. Given the reputation some of the younger generation have got, I personally would be completely fine with being mistaken for someone a couple years senior.

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    1. That’s the way it’s always been. Old people see the youth making the same naive mistakes that they made in their youth, and they always say that qualities you hate about yourself you hate even more when seen in other people. People have been hating on young people since Socrates, it’s a horse poop. I think the media is just making it worse though now.

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      1. OK, let me actually rephrase that: given the “music” most of the younger generation listen to, I would be very happy to be mistaken for as many years older as possible

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        3. I wouldn’t think rap would be super popular in Australia Then again, I can’t believe who it appeals to over here.

          I was on a walk last night and this car drove past me blaring some rap “music”. I figured it was a white dude with a backwards hat, saggy basketball shorts, and some gold chains. The car parked in the driveway of a house that was next to where I was walking, and out walked three young white girls that had just gotten back from the pool in bathing suits. I really don’t get how rap appeals to white girls from the suburbs in Middle America, especially since most of it is so misogynistic. Even more than rock.

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        5. I have mostly given up trying to comprehend the younger generation. All but about 5 of my friends are older than me.

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    2. I’m friends with a few young folks who are remarkable people. I’m just sorry we are leaving you such a mess. We promised we would not do that to the next generation, but looks like we did.

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      1. I think I’ll put all the replies here because I can’t for the life of me work out which ones to reply to get the replies in the right place.

        First of all, that young guy at your work; good man. Do not let him leave for Bespin. You must complete his training.

        I’m more of a sword guy than a knife guy, so by default knives are too short.

        I was going to finish of with a pessimistic statement about the future of the world regardless of what is done or not done, but we don’t need that here, so instead I’ll simply thank you for being an awesome guy and starting this site.

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  5. Ha! Brilliant. I still look younger… or at least that’s the impression I get when people don’t believe that I’m the age I am. I was last ID’d about 4 years ago and I literally burst out laughing. The lady did not appreciate it. I had no ID at the time as I just nipped out for a couple of beers, so I returned home with none.

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  6. I have the same problem but in reverse. I have been called my wife Dorothea’s son on a few occasions and it’s not like I don’t have grey in my beard and such. I guess I just look younger. It’s funny because whenever I shaved off my beard Dorothea would say I look 15 years old.

    However, when I didn’t have a beard other people thought I was older. I remember back in the 90’s chatting with a group of friends and we got on the discussion of age, they were shocked that I was only in my 20’s I guess I acted more serious and older back then.

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  10. Well, that explains the shaved head. If I could grow long hair, I would. But all I’d end up with is a skullet. About five years ago Sarah mistook my Dad for me and gave him a kiss on the head. That’s when I started growing a beard. Now I just sport the 5 o’clock shadow.

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