WTF Comments: D-Funk edition

Always a pleasure when a celebrity comes down to read my stuff!  (Remember when Kenny Hotz wasn’t keen on my Kenny Vs. Spenny Season 6 review?)  Hip-hop producer David “D-Funk” Faulk is the latest to stumble upon my writing.  David “D-Funk” Faulk is a King’s X fan.  David “D-Funk” Faulk did not like my review of the King’s X B-side “Junior’s Gone Wild”, as you can see for yourself.

You’re nuts. “Junior’s Gone Wild” kicks fkng ass! As great as anything they’ve ever done. Loved it the first time I heard it and still love it today. The whole critiquing songs is such a dumb thing to do anyway because it’s simply showing one’s desperation to tell others how they should hear the song. If you don’t like it, fine. Don’t listen. Some people love Anne Murray. Some love Frank Zappa. Some love Milli Vanilli or Lil Wayne. It’s so stupid sitting there writing, “Duhh, I think the third verse should have been shorter and the guitar riff is too similar to one of the guitarist’s other songs. How dare he have a style and play anything that sounds like himself!”. blah blah fkn blah. If you can do better, let’s hear it. Critics are the absolute worst.

Thanks, D-Funk!  I never said any of that.  Should I be flattered that he thought I was a critic?  I think so.  I’m going to start referring to myself as “famed critic”.

My response to him went like this:

Here’s what bugs me the most about this dill-hole.

“If you don’t like it, fine. Don’t listen.”

SAME GOES FOR YOU, PAL, If you don’t like it, fine. Don’t read it.

What am I supposed to do? Lie about what appeals to me, just to satisfy the hard-core worshippers? You think it kicks fuckin’ ass. I don’t. You want me to lie about that? It’s the Complete King’s X studio series. You want me to leave out the ones I didn’t like just so you don’t have to read them? Get over yourself.

Coming soon to mikeladano.com:  Only sunny, positive reviews about music that kicks “fking ass”!  Looking forward to my forthcoming series of Def Leppard deep dives?  F’get about it!  Only 4/5 and 5/5 star writeups from now on.  Reviews so positive that they could have been a toothpaste commercial.  That’s the future.  Fuck honesty.  Write anything even remotely critical and you’ll get shithawks like D-Funk dropping turds all over your pages.

Listen to the song, read my review, and tell me if I was being harsh.

33 comments

  1. I don’t think it matters if you’re harsh or not, it’s your opinion. Why do people get so bent out of shape because someone didn’t like something as much as they do? Also the ‘do better yourself’ argument is total horseshit. Does he only make music for other musicians?

    Liked by 3 people

        1. But it’s not poo. That would be incorrect because you’re not a musician. You shouldn’t tell me how to hear the song. I should hear it for myself and decide on my own that it’s candy. Because I’m not a musician either.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. That is awesome!! I love it! I remember when the songwriter of Fish Heads took offense to me calling it the Worst Song Ever and he responded with “I think it is pretty fucking great”. But at least he was nice about it. I’m a huge Kiss fan (as everyone knows), but I didn’t rate every album a 4 or 5. i had a bunch of 2’s because we are being honest that not everything a band produces is good. No band can do that.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Almost went.. here’s one but then I remembered that I faltered when that live album came out….that’s the one I’m not so keen about.

        I’ll go one better. I’m the only one allowed to say less than positive things of my favorite bands since everyone else is always misleaded and just waiting for me to correct them….how’s that?

        Absolutely love King’s X. Looking forward to reading your glowing review of X. Did we just enter an alternative universe?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. HAHA! I think we did. I think we are in the Marvel Multiverse now!

          Just in case you’re worried — don’t be. I have a 2/5 star Rush review on deck for whenever I start posting reviews again.

          Just to clarify what I mean by that. I have several reviews finished but I’m leaving them on hold for now. For now I just want to write other things, while I continue to digest my Metallica box set. Expect me to put up content but I’m holding onto my reviews until I’m back in gear.

          Like

      1. Haha! No, I came up with Stained Ass all on my own and stuck it in the tags. Holen picked up on it when he read it. But don’t worry, I’m still firmly atop the mountain. No slipping for me.

        Like

  3. Not long ago, I was attacked for my ‘misogynistic’ views on a post I wrote back in 2012 when I stated that Olivia Newton-John put on weight after Grease and looked better for it. I did apologize to the commenter for my crystal ball not working in 2012.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yikes, that D-Funk guy does not have manners! Is he called D-Funk because all of his work is “defunct”? You were just giving your opinion; not everyone likes the same thing. In a way, a negative review is a good thing, because if someone hates a certain album, you won’t have to feel bad if you hate it too!

    Liked by 1 person

        1. Thanks for asking — we are undecided! I know I want it to be with Meat, and only 2-3 people tops. I want to try some different things and try to make it fresh. Meat and I have been discussing ideas and Harrison is always willing to help out, so while I cannot say the subject yet, I can say that I look forward to Meat time as he is one of my best friends that I have known about 25 years.

          Liked by 1 person

  5. You gotta love the passion of super fans.

    I heard the track and it’s got some cool guitar bits that makes me want to pick up the guitar and jam along.

    I read your review and it’s cool.

    So 5 from 5 Mike reviews. I gotta read that. Lol.

    Like

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