WE WISH YOU A METAL XMAS AND A HEADBANGING NEW YEAR (2008 Armoury)
Yep, It’s another Bob Kulick album with various guests. You know what you’re going to get. Let’s not dilly-dally; let’s crack open the cranberry sauce and see what a Metal Xmas sounds like.
Generic! A truly ordinary title track features the amazing Jeff Scott Soto on lead vocals, but it’s a purely cookie-cutter arrangement with all the cheesy adornments you expect. Ray Luzier fans will enjoy the busy drums, but this does not bode well for the album.
Fortunately it’s Lemmy to the rescue, with “Run Rudolph Run”, an utterly classic performance with Billy Gibbons and Dave Grohl. All spit n’ vinegar with no apologies and nary a mistletoe in sight. I remember playing this for my sister Dr. Kathryn Ladano in the car one Christmas.
When Lemmy opened his yap, she proclaimed “This is bullshit! How come they get to make albums and not me?”
Lemmy Kilmister, pissing people off since day one, has done it again. You can buy the CD for “Run Rudolph Run” even if the rest is utter shit.
A silly “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by Alice Cooper echoes “The Black Widow”, but novelty value aside, is not very good. A joke song can only take you so far, and Alice is usually far more clever. (At least John 5’s soloing is quite delicious.) And even though Dio is next, “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” comes across as a joke, too. Which is a shame because the lineup is a Dio/Sabbath hybrid: Tony Iommi, Rudy Sarzo, and Simon Wright. Dio’s joyless, dead serious interpretation is amusing only because of its unintentional dry humour.
Funny enough, Geoff Tate’s “Silver Bells” has the right attitude. Even though Geoff is perpetually flat, his spirited version (with Carlos Cavazo, James Lomenzo and Ray Luzier) kicks up some snow. That makes me happy, but it pains me to say that Dug Pinnick’s “Little Drummer Boy” (with George Lynch, Billy Sheehan and Simon Phillips) doesn’t jingle. Ripper Owens, Steve More & pals team up next on “Santa Claus is Back in Town”, so bad that it borders on parody.
The most bizarre track is Chuck Billy’s “Silent Night”, with thrash buddies like Scott Ian. Chuck performs it in his death metal growl, and it’s pure comedy. Oni Logan can’t follow that with “Deck the Halls”, though it’s pretty inoffensive. Stephen Pearcy’s “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” adapts the riff from “Tie Your Mother Down” and succeeds in creating a listenable track. “Rockin’ Around the Xmas Tree” is ably performed by Joe Lynn Turner, sounding a lot like a Christmas party jam.
The final artist is Tommy Shaw with John Lennon’s “Happy Xmas (War is Over)”. It’s an authentic version and while not a replacement for the original, will be enjoyable to Styx fans.
Christmas albums by rock artists are, let’s be honest, rarely worthwhile. This one has only a handful of keepers so spend wisely.
2/5 stars
mikeladano.com 
Have you heard Christopher Lee’s heavy metal covers of christmas songs? They certainly are interesting
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Interesting yes. But not something I’m wanting for my collection.
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Neither for me, but still interesting enough for me to warrant some attention
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What is it with George Lynch and Joe Lynn Turner showing up on all of Kulick’s half-assed tribute albums? They both deserve better, though Lynch did completely ruin “Anthem” with his clueless shredding on the Working Men CD.
Pearcy made something listenable? Didn’t think he’d done that since Detonator (in 2008 at least). Quick LeBrain. Assign a provisional ranking to the first five Ratt albums and the EP. Harrison! You do the same.
Crapp Ep (1983) 3.5/5
Out of the Closet (1984) 4/5
Invasion of Your Lunch (1985) 3/5
Dancing Under Pressure (1986) 3.5/5
Reach for the Prostate (1988) 1.5/5
Refuckulator (1990) 1/5
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Erm…?/5
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Jesus Lynch and Mark Slaughter SUCKED on “Anthem”! Horrid!
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I don’t have all the Ratt so I can’t say.
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Those RATT albums were good. Trust me, man…
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I’d take Ratt’s heyday over Crue every single time.
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Good grief… this sounds pretty horrible. My takeaway is “fuck this shit… I’ll see if Run Rudolph Run is on iTunes or suchlike”
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I’m sure it’s on a few things. It’s a radio staple here at Christmas time. It has to be on lots of stuff.
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I’ll look out for the lots of stuff that isn’t this. Lemme and The Reverend Billy Gibbons… doing a Christmas tune… I need that.
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Not a bad group of people compiled on there, but I hate Christmas albums generally and this doesn’t look like it will change my mind. And knowing Bob’s involved, I don’t know if I want to ever hear it. I am kind of tired of his whining…an name dropping…and whining.
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You mean Brucifer? LOL
Yeah, it’s unfortunate but Bob doesn’t seem to be a happy camper these days. The market was saturated with tribute CDs and whatnot that he produced, and while one would have been special, a dozen gets boring fast.
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Brucifer!! ha!
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I bought this a couple of years ago and had the same reaction you did. I eventually sold it when I realized I would likely never play it again, even if “Run Rudolph Run” is pretty great. I think the version I bought came with a bonus disc. Can’t remember what was on it but obviously nothing to make the collection a keeper. Have you ever seen that version?
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Yes I have. I was so disinterested that I never even looked up what was on it when I wrote this!
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Now that’s some serious disinterest. Surprised it warranted even 2 stars from you.
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2 stars, mainly for Lemmy and Tommy Shaw. I’d put those on a mix CD any year!
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I own this CD. I have apologised to myself several times for it.
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On vinyl, you mean. On vinyl. Not CD. Right????
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Nope. I feel this is a safe space for me to confess to such a thing.
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Sounds like this won’t be entering the Christmas listening rotation at my house anytime soon!
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What do you think of both Halford Xmas albums? Even Bad Religion has one.
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Good question! I only have one Christmas tune by Halford:
https://mikeladano.com/2014/12/06/review-fight-christmas-ride-1994-single/
At this point I have reviewed virtually every Christmas album I have with only a couple exceptions, so next year I’ll have to get some more to review. Maybe Halford will be what I need!
Cheers and thanks for the comment!
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Great holiday classic from 1983 done to “Heading Out To The Highway” by Judas Priest. The song was actually recorded as the band “The Sharks” pre Shark Island.
Interesting armony at 2:20 !
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4WIrCy-R3M Also another free d/l from Halford (1992
recording)
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