#817: Breaking Up With a Radio Station Girl

A sequel to Record Store Tales Part 15: Dating a Radio Station Girl

GETTING MORE TALE #817:  Breaking Up With a Radio Station Girl

What followed this was actually one of the top five worst weeks of my life.  I was house and dog sitting for my parents, when I suddenly got a throat infection.  So I got dumped by this girl, I can’t swallow anymore, I’m taking care of two houses and a stubborn dog, that’s enough to handle already.  Schnauzers, you know how they are.  Well this one particular bad schnauzer is named Ani.  Ani pooped herself and got all the poop matted in her butt fur.  It was stuck in there so bad that I had to cut it out with a scissors, and then bathe her, all just minutes before I had to leave for work.  And then, just when I thought that the week was over and things would get back to normal soon, I busted my glasses.  I was scraping the ice off my windshield, and I slipped.  I somehow got caught onto the antenna which sprung loose and thwacked me right in the face.  My glasses, minus one lens, were down in the snow.  A fucking brilliant week.

 

Many of the old Record Store Tales today seem unfinished.  So I dated a Radio Station Girl — what happened next?

It was close to the end of winter 2003.  It was a week much like this one.  Elli was coming down to spend the weekend.  She worked two jobs.  Due to her shifts at the radio station and the Blockbuster Video, we usually only got a few hours together before she had to head to another job.  She surprised me earlier in the week with a visit at the Record Store.  Since she was living in Stratford without a car, that surprise visit made my day.  In an email she even called me the “best boyfriend ever” for the first time.  Yes, this weekend was going to be awesome!  Everything was coming up Mikey.

I drove down to Stratford to pick her up on the Saturday night.  Something was immediately off.  I couldn’t put my finger on it.  I asked her if she was hungry.  She answered, in a strange child-like voice, “Chick-en”.

“Yeah you want some chicken?  Do you want me to stop for some McNuggets?”

“Chick-en!”

That was all I could get out of her.  It was a bad sign.  The entire weekend was…cold.  She was unaffectionate and distant.  I couldn’t figure it out.  She didn’t seem interested in anything and even though she was supposed to stay Monday night too, she bailed early.

Everything felt wrong.  When the week resumed and everybody was back to work, she stopped responding to my emails.  I thought I was the “best boyfriend ever”.  Now I couldn’t even get the time of day.

And I was starting to feel sick again.  My throat was sore.  I toiled through the week and I was supposed to see Elli again on the weekend.  I hoped to resolve whatever was going on between us, but I already knew it was over.  Before I left the house on Sunday night to see her, I told a friend that I was “going out to get dumped by a girl.”

I was disappointed at best, and very angry at worst, that I had to drive to Stratford for her to dump me.  The third and final breakup.  At least she did it in person.  She said she was applying for jobs at radio stations coast to coast.  I offered to help, adding “but I don’t think you really want my help.”  I was right.  She didn’t want anyone tying her to home, and it was over for good this time.  I put on my coat and boots and headed back to Kitchener.

I was seething with anger, but the sore throat was lingering, making everything worse.

My parents bought me some Chloroseptic throat spray, which temporarily helped.  But I didn’t realize (because I hadn’t seen a doctor in 14 years) was that I had a full-on throat infection.  Before too long the pain was unmanageable.

The parents were going on a trip and I was housesitting and dogsitting for them.  This was the beginning of one of the legendary Top Five worst weeks of my life.  The parents bought groceries for the week.  I was really looking forward to the jalapeño potato chips that I picked out, but I couldn’t get even one down.  My throat was ablaze with hot, stinging pain.  It was like I had a molten hot steel ball bearing in my throat.  Every swallow hurt, even when lubricated with ice water.  The infection had also screwed up my taste buds and everything was sour.  I was a sad sack of shit on top of it all.  Even the dog couldn’t cheer me up.

It was a harsh winter.  Scraping the ice off my car, I caught myself on the antenna.  It came back and hit me right in the face, knocking a lens out of my glasses.  That was it – rock bottom.  I had enough.  Or so I thought.

I remember lying in bed in pain, unable to swallow.  I prayed to God.  I said, “I can handle being dumped, and I can handle this sore throat, but I can’t handle both at the same time.”  I couldn’t get any time off work.  There was nobody available to fill in, except for half a day on the Friday.  I realized I didn’t have a choice and would have to see a doctor.

On the Thursday, just as I was leaving for work, the dog took a shit, got it all matted in her butt fur, and proceeded to wipe herself on the carpet.  I chased her around in frustration, dunked her fighting into the wash bin, got a pair of scissors, and painstakingly cut all the shit out.  I cleaned the carpet and headed to work in sad frustration.

Like a miracle, my throat cleared up on the Friday.  I didn’t need to go to the doctor.

My heart took a little longer to heal.  But heal it did.  VoiVod released a new album on March 3 and that was the start of it.  It was their first album with Snake on lead vocals in a decade, and their first ever with “Jasonic” (Jason Newsted) on bass. The lead single was an old fashioned speed rocker called “We Carry On”. The title spoke to me as much as the riffs.

Music heals all…except throat infections.

 

So we are ready for more adventures?
No crystal ball to see the future.
Driven by a need to create,
On every mile we ride our fate.
In my heart,
In my soul,
In my blood,
In my bones.
It really does make you feel strong,
Like you would be forever young.
Day after day sharing and giving,
Reinventing the ways of thinking.
In my heart,
In my soul,
In my blood,
In my bones,
In my hands,
On my face,
In my eyes,
Here’s my rage.
This is our time,
This is our song,
This is our lives,
We carry on.
No need to say, it’s far from pure,
Once you’ve touched it, there is no cure.
We ride our way throughout the sun,
We just got here, and now we’re gone.
In my dreams,
In my hope,
In my fear,
In my goals,
In the sky,
All around,
In the light,
Underground.
This is our time,
This is our song,
This is our lives,
We carry on.

27 comments

  1. Fuckin’ hell the early 2000s were a fucking weird time. Just looking at those photos brings me back. Not just the styles, but the SD quality.

    This is the tune I always turn to when a dirty, no good, cold-blooded, demon-spawn, heartless, shallow, privileged, arrogant, stupid, vicious, uppity skank rips out my heart and poops on it.

    Liked by 1 person

        1. I have fond but frustrated memories of things like… you smell something. You’re in the living room but can smell poo. You look for the dog. She is sheepishly hiding in the other room. You know she shit somewhere and is guilty as charged, but you can’t find the shit!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. That moment of you standing over the washbin with scissors – painful at the time, but as per the equation of Comedy = Tragedy + Time, hopefully it’s funny now!
    I’ve had a few of those moments where you think, OK so this is the life I’ve chosen (e.g. cleaning up in the middle of the night after a sick kid) – but those moments tend to become funny stories later!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well Daddydino, I know a lot of people who work in radio, and they all know each other. They get moved around so much, they have all worked together at some point. So I know one buddy, Patrick worked with her, she’s either in London or the Toronto area now, can’t remember which. But she is still doing radio, covers a lot of Blue Jays games I guess, which is funny because she hated sports when we dated. She was one of those people who’d chant “GO SPORTS”.

      Like

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