GETTING MORE TALE #854: Mushy

15 years seems like a long time even though it’s really just a blink of an eye.  My life changed forever 15 years ago.  That’s when I met Jen.  A big gaping hole in my heart was filled forever that day.  There was never really a question that she was the “right” one for me.   She always knew.

She had my back from the start and helped give me the confidence that I needed to finally quit the Record Store.  Since 2000, the environment there had become extremely toxic and I needed to get out for my own health.  If she didn’t have my back, I wouldn’t have left and my sanity would have been frayed.

This extra-mushy post has been brought to you by love.

Our first few years together were filled with dreams.  We talked about what we wanted to do for our wedding and what we were going to name our kids.*

Then she got sick.  That put the brakes on some of our plans.  Her doctor wanted us to wait to have kids.  When her health got under control, we thought, we could have as many as we wanted.  Two seemed like a great number.  A boy and a girl.  I really wanted a baby girl.  As time went on we realized it was never going to happen.

“Why don’t you just adopt?” asked people who didn’t know our situation.  Adoption stopped being possible when her health got worse.  The reality was we needed someone to babysit her, not someone for us to babysit.  It has been a tough reality but I’ve never regretted any of it.  I’d rather live with just the two of us, than have kids with somebody else.  If this is what our lives were meant to be, then so be it.

After we got married and settled in, we had to deal with loss after loss after loss.  We still paid off the condo, and just rolled with everything that life threw at us.  Every time one of us feels like giving up, the other one says “no way”.  We’ve come too far to throw in the towel now.  The things we’ve endured together would slay lesser mortals.  Sometimes at night, I’ll just lie there thinking about how lucky I am.

We keep on keepin’ on.  Because of her, love songs are sweeter and breakup songs don’t sting like they used to.  We live quiet lives now but I’m never, ever bored.  She gives me the time, space and inspiration to keep on writing.  In exchange she can watch all the sports she wants!  It’s a pretty sweet deal and I’ll never take for granted what a lucky bastard I am.

* She has never approved of my choice, Spencer Peter Oscar Carl Kevin.  Spell out the initials.