Teeth Week #6: “Toothless People” by Weird Al Yankovic

This tooth-themed song comes courtesy of Kevin over at CanadianGrooves!  This song comes from Weird Al Yankovic’s 4th record Polka Party!  It was not one of Al’s more successful albums, earning mixed reviews and not a lot of hits.  “Living With A Hernia” comes from the same album.  Hopefully I do not end up a toothless person.

They only show you their gums when they smile
Ain’t got a tooth in their heads now, how vile
Only can eat things like pudding and applesauce
They never have to buy toothpicks or dental floss
Hey, stand up
Toothless people, their breath is lethal, want to tell you
Hey, come on, stand up, get on your feet
Toothless people, old and feeble, what I say
No more of those pearly whites will they possess
Their oral hygiene is frightful, a mess
Lots of ’em suffering from trench mouth and gum disease
At least they don’t have to worry ’bout cavities
Hey, stand up, take out your teeth
Toothless people, old and feeble, oh yes
You can brush ’em, you can floss ’em
They’re something you just can’t ignore
If you lose ’em, you’re in trouble
‘Cause the tooth fairy won’t come no more
You need something to show your dentist
The next time he makes you say “Ah”
You don’t want to have to wind up
Eating all of your food through a straw
You’d better brush your teeth now (hey)
Toothless, toothless, toothless, toothless people
Hey, stand up, toothless people

2 comments

  1. Back in the day, I had to special order Polka Party on cassette to complete my Weird Al collection. Sam the Record Man in Sudbury had a massive book you could flip through and order any album. It arrived 3 weeks later. Blew my mind. Glad to hear you are doing better!

    Like

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