RECORD STORE TALES #1205: Crash

I’ve been crashing hard on Mondays.  It’s been getting worse.

My pattern on cottage weekends goes something like this.  Wake up Sunday, clean the dishes, get rid of the garbage, and pack up my things to go home.  We usually leave the lake on Sundays around 11:00 AM, arriving home around 1:00 PM.  I start feeling pretty down around the time of departure.  It is very hard to leave that place.  It doesn’t matter what music we pick in the car on the way home.  This last trip, we went back to the late 80s with Blow Up Your Video by AC/DC and Dream Evil by Dio.  What we listen to doesn’t seem to change the mood.

When we get home, we unpack, turn on the air conditioning, and decide what to do about food.  Usually, to cheer myself up, I order something in.  Sometimes this causes frustration at home, because Jen and I can rarely agree on food.  If she’s craving it, I’m burned out on it.  If I want it, she’s allergic to it.  We usually end up with something overpriced that neither of us were happy with.

I start to feel down in the dumps by late afternoon, and really tired.  I’m almost always in bed before 7:00 PM on a Sunday night.

Through the night, I can feel anxiety gathering, in my dreams.  I will dream of jobs.  Of work.  Of things that I have to return to when I come home from the lake.  I can often stop the dream, and think about other things, but these dreams are just symptoms, not the problem.

No matter how much sleep I get that night, I just stay in bed.  My alarm goes off; I hit snooze.  Sometimes it can be 12 hours in bed and I’m still tired.

Monday is often a trainwreck.  I’m usually in a terrible mood, and usually go to bed again without eating that night.

I don’t know what to do anymore.