Author: mikeladano

Metal, hard rock, rock and roll! Record Store Tales & Reviews! Grab A Stack of Rock and more. Poking the bear since 2010.

REVIEW: Alice Cooper – DaDa (1983)

ALICE COOPER – DaDa (1983 Warner)

DaDa is one of the most fascinating albums in the Alice Cooper catalogue.  So interesting in fact that this is the second time I’ve tackled a review of it.  The first, posted on Amazon years ago shortly after buying the album, was not flattering.  The entire thing is below:

 

This is what happens when you drink too much and can’t remember years of your life anymore.

This is what happens when your producer is nursing his own drug problems.

This is what happened to Alice Cooper in the early 80’s. Guitars, drums and bass have been jettisoned in favour of samples, keyboards, and programs. Songs? Non-existant. This album is worthless, filled with dreck that Cooper wouldn’t have even considered a decade earlier, or later. I defy anyone to explain the concept of the story to me. No songs ever played live, no tour.

One novelty track: “I Love America”, which is actually hilarious. It is also available on the Cooper boxed set. Pick that up, not this.

0/5 stars. The absolute nadir of the man’s storied career.

 

That’s what I said then, and I have to own it now.  I could delete it and pretend I never said it, but that would be dishonest.

Rich at Kamertunesblog did a fantastic Alice Cooper series a few years back.  When he got to DaDa, I said that “I still have not really penetrated [it]. I don’t know if I so much as appreciate it, rather than like it.”  When Rich said he found that surprising, I realized I must be missing something with DaDa.  So how does DaDa sit now, after a few years to let it absorb?

It’s different.  It’s creepy.  It’s funny.  It’s worth the time spent with it.

The story of DaDa itself is almost as interesting as the story of how one man can go from hating it to loving it.

Alice re-teamed with Bob Ezrin on this album, for the first time in years.  Dick Wagner came back for guitar, bass and songwriting duties.  Wagner claimed in his autobiography that Alice wasn’t that enthused about making this album, and confessed that contracts stipulated he had to.  Backing up Wagner’s claim is the fact that this was Alice’s last album for Warner, followed by a three year hiatus to finally get clean and sober for good.  There was no tour, in fact no band.

In lieu of a drummer, all beats are programmed.  This lends a stark early 80’s synthpop sound to DaDa.  It works exceptionally well on the title track, an Ezrin instrumental creation.  The echoey electronics sound as if from a frightening science fiction horror movie from the period.  Punctuating this is the mechanical repeating sample of a child saying “da da”…and heavenly new age keyboard melodies.  Talk about chills!  If that doesn’t get you, perhaps the spoken word conversation between a therapist and a patient will give you the shivers.  “I have a daughter too,” says the elderly patient.  “You don’t have a daughter,” responds the doctor.  “Yeah, I have a daughter,” insists the sick man.  “Sir, you have a son,” insists the doctor as the conversation gets creepier.  Alice Cooper is not even on this piece.  Perhaps that is one reason it failed to make an impression on me all those years ago.

Alice emerges on “Enough’s Enough”, changing to the perspective of the son.  “I just want to tell you, you’re a lousy dad, to hell with you!”  Dark but strangely upbeat, “Enough’s Enough” has some of those Bob Ezrin touches that you love, such as the perfectly arranged backing vocals.  The Dick Wagner guitars are the only real touch of rock and roll; the song otherwise lives in a punky new wave land.  The best song is much creepier:  “Former Lee Warmer”.  Alice alludes to the character of “Former Lee” on the previous song: “Why’d you hide your brother?”  “Former Lee Warmer” reveals that the body of the brother was locked in a chest in the attic.  “All the mops and brooms keep him company, misconceived of the family.”  Musically and thematically, this is just as good as Welcome to My Nightmare!  This is all done in Alice’s brilliant speak-sing style.

The concept becomes harder to follow on “No Man’s Land”, a good rock and roll song only weakened by the clanky electronic percussion.  Wagner is outstanding.  Similarly disconnected is “Dyslexia”, which sounds like Devo snuck into the studio.  Harmless fun; I wonder how many songs have been written about dyslexia in popular music?  It’s not clear who is on bass (probably Prakash John rather than Wagner), but the bass pulse is brilliantly subtle and perfect.  “Scarlet and Sheba” is an album highlight, electronically exotic and heavy too.  It’s perfectly dressed a with killer chorus and kinky lyrics, topped with a brilliant Ezrin arrangement.

“I Love America” is admittedly a novelty track, but I still like it today.  Taking on the persona of a redneck, Alice lampoons every cliche about his homeland.  “I love Velveeta slapped on Wonder Bread!  I love a Commie…if’un he’s good ‘n dead!”  The reason it works is because it’s Alice Cooper.  I don’t think anyone else could have pulled it off.  Ezrin provides suitably pompous backing music, turning it into a rock national anthem.  (My favourite lyric is the last one:  “I love my bar, and I love my truck.  I’d do most anything to make a buck!  I love a waitress who loves to ffff…flirt.  They’re the best kind!”)

Going into “Fresh Blood” you’ll notice the synth horns, not really a substitute for the real thing.  It’s actually a pretty good funky rock tune.  Alice sings melodically with layered vocals, and once again the bass sounds awesome if you pay attention to it.  The final track is another drama-laden burner called “Pass the Gun Around”.  The character (referred to as “Sonny”; perhaps the son from earlier in the album) wakes up in a hotel room after another blackout night.  It’s not a pretty scene but it ends the album on a suitably serious and musically complex note.  It’s actually one of the better Cooper tracks from any era, thanks in no small part to Bob Ezrin and Dick Wagner.

Interesting trivia:  Probably because Ezrin recorded the album in his native land (Canada), Lisa DalBello is credited on backing vocals.  Queensryche would later cover one of her singles, “Gonna Get Close to You”.  She was also a part of Alex Lifeson’s Victor project.

Today’s rating:  4/5 stars, but only after a long journey.  And the concept still seems to derail halfway through the album.

TV REVIEW: American Dad (featuring James Hetfield of Metallica) – “The Life Aquatic with Steve Smith”

AMERICAN DAD! – “The Life Aquatic with Steve Smith” (Episode 2, season 12)

American Dad is back!  The 12th (or 13th) season (depending on how you count) commenced last week.  While last week’s instalment was ho-hum, this week’s was a brilliant return to form, thanks in no small part to the mighty metal music of Metallica.

It is spring time.  14 year old Steve Smith has vowed that this year, he will finally get to touch his first real boobs.  His latest scheme is simple.  Varsity athletes seem to touch boobs all the time.  Therefore, Steve needs a varsity jacket.  The water polo team is looking for members, and hardly anyone has signed up.  At tryouts, we meet the coach:  “I’m the new coach, James Hetfield.  I know what you’re thinking.  ‘Woah! The James Hetfield from Metallica?’  The answer is no way.  Even though I look and sound like him, and have all his guitars.  The point is, if I had to deal with the kind of pressure that guy is under, I’d probably crack and end up as a high school water polo coach.  So it’s a good thing that I’m just this very different James Hetfield.”

Unfortunately Steve cannot swim and is cut from the team.  Only when he colludes with the family goldfish Klaus (an East German ski jumper whose brain was transferred into the body of a fish) does he have a chance.   They realize that Steve can become the greatest water polo player in the world, with a little extra help from Klaus.  Klaus operates Steve’s legs by using his short n’ curlies as puppet strings, and Steve is unstoppable!  With his legs being controlled by Klaus, Steve can concentrate on the ball.  Cue:  “Master of Puppets”.  Steve is back on the team!  In fact, he’s the star.

The next musical number is the more recent “All Nightmare Long” (one of the best tunes from Death Magnetic), accompanying a montage scene.  Steve and Klaus’ plan seems to be working, as Steve attracts the attention of Amy (Ashley Tisdale), the school sports editor.  She wants to know what makes Steve so skilled at water polo, and the pressure is on.  James Hetfield orders the team to take the rival highschool “off to neva-neva-land-ah!”

The side plot involves Stan Smith and Roger the alien buying a sailboat at a CIA auction.  Roger’s antics are always hilarious, but the side plot can’t help but remain in the shadow of the main Metallica feature.  Still, Roger’s voice is always hilarious to me, and I crack up when I get to hear Roger calling people “assholes”.  I am easily amused.  The show does benefit from the ability to use mild swearing now.  Roger and Stan realize that owning a boat is kind of useless since they have nowhere to go and no idea how to sail.  They must get rid of it…somehow!

If American Dad can maintain this level of quality, it is bound to be a great season.  It’s also good to know that American Dad is maintaining its strong musical connections, even though showrunner Mike Barker left in 2013.  Barker was responsible for many of the show’s best such moments, such as the My Morning Jacket episode.  Although last season was a little bumpy, this episode might be the best one since Barker left.

5/5 stars

REVIEW: Royal Blood – Royal Blood (2014 Japanese version)

ROYAL BLOOD – Royal Blood (2014 Warner Music Japan, three bonus tracks)

Bass and drum duos are all the rage, but it’s all about the songs.  You can do a lot with just those two instruments as it turns out.  Royal Blood’s palette of sound is also of the bass and drum duo persuasion, and they have the songs too.  Their 32 minute (43 minute on the Japanese with bonus tracks) debut album has enough good tunes that you won’t notice there are only two guys playing.  The tunes are all short, tight and to the point.

Mike Kerr (bass, vocals) and Ben Thacker (drums) have been praised by luminaries such as Jimmy Page for this fine debut album.  When someone like Jimmy Page excitedly declares he’s a fan, I don’t care who you are — you gotta check them out.  Royal Blood composed a series of tightly arranged riffy songs, with some serious heft.    Riffs such as the one on “Come on Over” sound nothing at all like bass.  Kerr squeals high notes out of his bass like it’s nothing, all while pouring it all into his singing simultaneously. The dude possesses the pipes necessary to infect his songs full of angst.

Check out the tense “Figure it Out”, their best single so far. Thacker keeps himself busy on the drums, working with the song not against it. Everything these guy do serves the song. “Figure it Out” had to be one of the best rock singles of 2014, expertly crafted for maximum rigidity and plutonium hooks. Every song delivers sturdy riffs, understated vocal melodies, and plenty of taut rock action.

The songs are on such a level that only a few stand out above the others. “Figure it Out” is the obvious one, but a few others impress as highlights. “Little Monster” (also a single) isn’t forgettable, and “Ten Tonne Skeleton” immediately reminded me of Them Crooked Vultures. “Loose Change” shakes things up by going slightly funky with some electronic drum effects. These guys don’t waste their time farting around. They slam you with the riffage, bang bang bang, and they’re done. Of course with a band of this configuration, the songs are composed with plenty of space between the instruments, and that adds to the heft of it all.

When the CD ends after “Better Strangers” we are treated to three Japanese bonus tracks. “Hole” is from the first Royal Blood EP Out of the Black. Its slow Soundgarden-Nirvana grunge is notably less crisp sounding than the album at large, but holy cow — this is heavy shit! Right out of 1992. “You Want Me” was lifted from the single for “Come on Over”. This is upbeat hard rocking fun. The final track “Love and Leave it Alone” is from the “Figure it Out” single, and it may be one of the best songs here. It’s interesting that the bonus tracks offer more variety than the album itself, which is a good enough reason to own them. Each of these tracks is different and deliciously good.

Get some Royal Blood in ya.

4/5 stars

REVIEW: Jim Dead & the Doubters – Pray for Rain (2015)

Scan_20160125JIM DEAD & THE DOUBTERS – Pray for Rain (2015 Jim Dead)

I like Jim Dead’s authentic dark slant on country and blues.  I don’t know how you get such a true slab of blues out of Scotland, but there is no lack of truth in Dead’s music.  With the Doubters he gives a full-on band experience, blues-rock with drums and electric twang, but nothing has changed.  Jim Dead still sounds wracked with all the pain and agony from past records, perhaps even more so.

A “Wooden Kimono” doesn’t sound like comfortable garb, but this song is anything but wooden.  It’s played on wooden instruments plugged in with electricity, and accompanied by Dead, telling it like it is.  “Wooden Kimono” is a swampy stomp; this gives way to “May the Road Rise”, a powerful moaner of riffs and wounds.  Jim Dead has never sounded better, truthfully, than he does baring his soul on “May the Road Rise”.  “Pray for Rain”, the title track, is a storm of rock power so just get swept up with it.


This is a rough mix — the album version sounds better.

The blues vibe comes across on “Holding the Line”, with some very nice guitar work up front.  A soaring chorus and some bluesy guitars are just what the doctor prescribed.  “Lovesick Blues” is heavy shit, grunged up and ready to take it to the next level.  “I’m sick of TV, I’m sick of me,” sings Dead with the anguish you expect, but with a Glenn Danzig howl.

As if to emphasize an LP side change, “Trains” fades in slowly and feels like a new start.  Jim Dead likes writing about trains.  I like that.  “Trains” is the opposite of “Lovesick Blues”; it’s a brief percussive tune that introduces the country twang of “Crows on the Wire”.  Sounding like an upbeat road tune, “Crows” reminds me of Blue Rodeo.  It defies you to stand still.  “Let it rain, let it snow,” sings Jim and this time we’ll agree to disagree.  “Home” then is ominous, with those big fat guitar tones you love, again sounding a bit like Greg Keelor’s work in Blue Rodeo.  “You Coulda Said” has one of the sweetest sounds in the whole wide world, that being a dirty slide guitar.  The final track is the quieter “I’m Not Lost”, also the name of a prior Jim Dead EP.  Call it the album epic, but at almost seven minutes it really does feel like a journey.  It starts somewhere and goes somewhere else.  That’s the key.

If you want something authentic and real to listen to, with the darkness and brightness of the real world, than look no further.  You must simply Pray for Rain, and get this CD.  This is the real thing; the genuine article.  You can buy Pray for Rain by clicking here.

4.5/5 stars

#465: LeBrain Week (Getting More Retro!)

 

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GETTING MORE TALE (Retro) #465:  LeBrain Week

Ah, the 4-O’clock 4-Play, we hardly knew ye!

My favourite half-hour of every day used to be 4 PM, on 107.5 Dave Rocks.  The Craig Fee Show.  Craig’s still slinging the rock, but the contest came to an end on April 27, 2012.  It was a fun challenge and since I dominated the contest so much, I earned the nickname “LeBrain”.  Craig would play four songs with a common thread.  The thread could be absolutely anything.  I won more times and more quickly than anyone else, including two first-song-guesses.  I also contributed dozens of 4-Plays of my own construction.

Back then, when nobody was reading, I posted a week’s worth of 4-play quizzes “live”, so to speak.  Craig featured a week of my own custom made quizzes, (following LeBrainuary and a few prior LeBrain weeks) just before they put the contest on ice.  From April 16-19 2012, I updated the site with the quiz and that day’s results.  Since my only readers back then were stalkers from the old Record Store, I thought it would be fun to re-post these!

Here are my daily update posts from that week — a week’s worth of 4-Play quizzes written by yours truly.  Could you have been a winner?

April 16, 2012
Woah Nelly!

Tune in ALL WEEK to the Craig Fee Show on 107.5 Dave FM, at 4 pm!!
IT’S LeBRAIN WEEK! The 4 O’clock 4-Play! And it was off to a KICKING start this week!

Song #1:  Skid Row – 18 & Life
Song #2: Twisted Sister – The Price
Song #3:  U2 – Bullet The Blue Sky
Song #4:  Kiss – I Was Made For Loving You

Answer (highlight to view): All artists have done MUSICALS (Jeckyl & Hyde, Rock of Ages, Spiderman, Phantom!)

CAN YOU OUT-BRAIN LeBRAIN?

April 17, 2012
Tune in ALL WEEK to the Craig Fee Show on 107.5 Dave FM, at 4 pm!! It’s LeBRAIN WEEK all week!

Today’s 4-play:

Song #1:  Deep Purple – Smoke on the Water
Song #2:  Rainbow – Stone Cold
Song #3:  Bon Jovi – Livin’ on a Prayer
Song #4:  Journey – Separate Ways

Answer (highlight to view): All five piece bands (on these recordings, anyway) of the v/g/b/d/k configuration!

Incidentally, two of those bands spent some time as four pieces.

Bon Jovi has been a four piece since 1994 when original bassist Alec John Such left. He was unofficially replaced by Hugh McDonald, but McDonald remains a side musician even after 18 years with the band! Journey was a four piece for a short while, on the second and third albums.

CAN YOU OUT-BRAIN LeBRAIN?

April 18, 2012
Tune in ALL WEEK to the Craig Fee Show on 107.5 Dave FM, at 4 pm!! It’s LeBRAIN WEEK all week!

Today’s 4-play:

Song #1:  Bon Jovi – Runaway
Song #2:  The Rolling Stones – Emotional Rescue
Song #3:  Kiss – Magic Touch
Song #4:  The Darkness – I Believe In A Thing Called Love

Answer (highlight to view): All songs featuring falsetto vocals!

Note: I have never heard Magic Touch on the radio before today!

April 19, 2012
Tune in ALL WEEK to the Craig Fee Show on 107.5 Dave FM, at 4 pm!! It’s LeBRAIN WEEK all week!

Today’s 4-play:

Song #1:  The Beatles – A Day in the Life
Song #2:  Pink Floyd – Comfortably Numb
Song #3:  Kiss – Shout It Out Loud
Song #4:  Kiss – Black Diamond

Answer (highlight to view): Each song features performances by two lead vocalists singing different parts!

Lennon sings the start, and Paul sings the finish on A Day in the Life.
Roger sings the verses, with David on the choruses.
Gene and Paul trade off some lines.
Paul sings the intro, Peter sings the body of Black Diamond.

Incidentally, Black Diamond is one I have never heard on the radio before.

April 20, 2012
I want to say a big THANK YOU to Craig at 107.5 Dave FM, for yet another fantastic LeBrain week. I think this is the third LeBrain week, and of course all of February was LeBrainuary!

To cap it off for me, Craig picked my favourite 4-play. Would you have solved it?

Today’s 4-play:

Song #1:  Guns N’ Roses – You Could Be Mine
Song #2:  Ozzy Osbourne – Mama I’m Coming Home
Song #3:  Motley Crue – Girls, Girls, Girls
Song #4:  Hanoi Rocks – Boulevard of Broken Dreams

ANSWER (highlight to view): Vince Neil is a Douche!

1. Guns N’ Roses – You Could Be Mine (Vince and Izzy got into a backstage scuffle with led to a longstanding rivalry with Axl Rose.)
2. Ozzy Osbourne – Mama I’m Coming Home (Vince started a feud with the “Mama” of this song – Sharon Osbourne which basically makes it a feud with Ozzy too. He trashed her in his book. And you know Sharon doesn’t back down.)
3. Motley Crue – Girls Girls Girls (What Vince, where? FIRED that’s where! And let’s not forget the MTV interview with the Crue where they mocked Vince Neil for hitting a coral reef while surfing.)
4. Hanoi Rocks – Boulevard of Broken Dreams (Vince killed their friggin’ drummer!)

That last one is still one of my all-time favourites! I hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane and some killer tunes.

 

DVD REVIEW: Black Sabbath – Never Say Die (live 1978)

 

BLACK SABBATH – Never Say Die (Live in 1978, 2003 Sanctuary DVD)

Recorded in 1978 at the Hammersmith, the DVD Never Say Die was recorded for TV, and not badly either.  The video part, anyway!  Great live angles and decent editing lead to a very watchable concert, albeit chopped down for length.  The audio leaves something to be desired.

The muffled riff of “Symptom of the Universe” commences the set, Iommi sounding as if powered through a crappy battery powered transistor amp, such is the horrible sound captured.  A blazed Ozzy growls through it, and Bearded Bill is in the back wearing braids and looking like a complete dirt bag.  As for Geezer?  He’s mixed too low to have any significant impact.  Tony Iommi stands guard at center stage, while Ozzy claps along next to him.

The close-up shots are nice and vivid, Ozzy waving the peace sign during the start of “War Pigs”.  He then commands the crowd to put their hands together, and they soon oblige singing along with him.  There is something about a live version of this song with the full original lineup including Bill Ward.  Bill was always a jazzy drummer, and that’s the vibe he loaned Black Sabbath.  It’s especially necessary on tracks like “War Pigs” which require a certain swing on the traps.  With Bill here still in vintage mode, the song has all the right heft and movement.

It’s hard to tell that this was a group of guys who couldn’t bear each other anymore.  While they mostly keep to themselves on the large stage (as they always have), Ozzy acts as Tony’s cheering section during the guitar solos, and you can even see a hint of a smile in Tony’s eyes.  Then Ozzy claps and screeches his way through the monolithic “Snow Blind”.

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The only track from the new album, Never Say Die, is the title track.  Its upbeat attitude and fast tempo allude to where Ozzy was going to go as a solo artist.  For Sabbath, it’s one of their most unappreciated tracks.  This live version is pretty sloppy but very rock and roll (including an old-tymey rock and roll riff that wasn’t in the original).  Then, Ozzy introduces the all-time classic, “Black Sabbath”, with an interesting statement.  “Thanks for the last 10 years, and we hope we’re around for another 10 years, and another 10 years.”  It’s interesting because at this point, Ozzy had already left the band once, been replaced by Dave Walker (Savoy Brown) for one TV performance (“Junior’s Eyes”), and then returned to the band to do the Never Say Die album, refusing to sing anything they wrote for Walker.  Not exactly the kind of environment to encourage longevity!  Of course the amazing thing is that three of these guys are still together, winding up the band that they formed.

It’s worth noting that nobody can (or will) capture the vibe of “Black Sabbath” like the original four.

Detouring to Technical Ecstasy, Sabbath pour into the underrated prowl, “Dirty Women”.  After this, uncredited, is a brief Bill Ward drum solo.  That melds into “Rock and Roll Doctor”, another obscurity.  Ward’s cowbell and Tony’s rock and roll riff give it a retro vibe.  Bill plays it busy compared to the album version; that’s fine by me.  Tony takes a guitar solo before the scary oldie-goldie, “Electric Funeral”.   Always a treat to hear this rarely played Paranoid classic, but unfortunately this one is noticeably edited down.

Closing out the disc, “Children of the Grave” is an obvious highlight.  Once again there is no drummer on Earth who can play it properly, except for Bill Ward.   Some come close, but none capture the reckless engine that drives it.  For the encore, Ozzy asks the audience “What do you wanna hear?” to which they are supposed to respond “Paranoid!”  I don’t know if they do; the audio here is really not good.  They trot out “Paranoid”, the flaw of which is that it always sounds by rote.  Ozzy couldn’t sound less interested in singing it again for the millionth time.

You have to consider the sound quality on a DVD like this and if you’re the kind of person who will care or even be able to tell the difference.  I don’t care.  This is a great though imperfect glimpse at a rare period in Black Sabbath’s history.  A short while later Ozzy would be solo, and Sabbath would go to Heaven and Hell with Ronnie James Dio.

3.5/5 stars

 

REVIEW: Alice Cooper – From the Inside (1978)

ALICE COOPER – From the Inside (1978 Warner)

In 1978, Alice Cooper’s health had hit a low point.  His excessive drinking was causing bleeding ulcers.  Alcohol always seemed to help before, but now it was time for Alice himself to get help.  He found himself in one of the strangest places he’d ever been in his life:  a sanitarium.

Alice got sober, for a short while anyway, and hooked up with some new players.  He wrote the lyrics for his next album with Bernie Taupin (Elton John) and got David Foster to produce him for the first and only time.  The inspiration for his next concept album was the sanitarium.  The people he encountered there inspired the characters on his album:  Millie, Billie, Nurse Rozetta, Jackknife Johnny, and more.  He amalgamated their stories and and personalities into the characters on the record, and with Bernie Taupin wrote some of his most interesting lyrics.  The horror themes of the past have been replaced by the real life madness of being locked in that place.

Musically, From the Inside is a hard pill to swallow.  Like a dose of Thorazine, it’s a sedated and subdued form of rock and roll, mixing Disco production and David Foster’s soft rock tendencies.  The sound of the album is clean and clear, but it is a dated a product of its time, the compression being the dead giveaway.  From the Inside is far more interesting lyrically than it is musically.  Bob Ezrin used to add strings, orchestras and choirs to the Alice Cooper mix, but David Foster’s version of the same is much more saccharine; much more easy listening without the weirdness.  Few of these songs are still in the live set.  Last time I saw Alice in 2006, he played “Wish I Were Born in Beverly Hills” with his daughter Calico playing a Paris Hilton type character on stage.  The Disco-stompin’ title track, and one of the only hard rockers (“Serious”) have also been performed in recent years.  For the most part, From the Inside is too much of a departure for these songs to having any staying power in Alice’s incendiary live show.

The title track is Alice’s story, and there are subtle references to Alice’s drinking club the Hollywood Vampires.  “Proposed a toast, to Jimi’s ghost.”  There also seems to be just a touch of bitterness about his situation:

Y’all got your kicks from what you saw up there,
Eight bucks even buys a folding chair,
I was downing Seagram’s on another flight,
And I worked that stage all night long.
You were screaming for the villain up there,
And I was much obliged,
The old road sure screwed me good this time,
It’s hard to see where the vicious circle ends.

It’s actually a fun Disco-rock tune, but now it’s time to meet Alice’s friends from the sanitarium.   The aforementioned “Wish I Were Born in Beverly Hills” boasts a catchy chorus (“I wish I could drink as much as she spills!”) and some nice Dick Wagner guitar harmonies.  For haunting music, “The Quiet Room” fits the bill.  It’s clear that the sanitarium was a serious place, and Alice and Bernie paint it clearly.  “They’ve got this place, where they been keepin’ me, where I can’t hurt myself, I can’t get my wrists to bleed.”  The character in this song questions why he wants to kill himself, but laments that he can’t even try in this place, “my Twilight Zone”.  He has spent so long there, alone with his thoughts and memories that “the quiet room knows more about me than my wife.”  It’s a strangely affecting tune.  Alice’s character driven lead vocal is the highlight; musically it’s pretty safe stuff.

The funniest track has to be “Nurse Rozetta”.  The lead character, clearly a priest, seems to really have a thing for Nurse Rozetta.  “I’m suddenly twice my size, my pants are all wet inside.”  Or my favourite line, “She popped the buckle off my Bible belt.”  The perverted priest fantasizes about the nurse on a string-laden but unremarkable tune, once again overshadowed by the words.  Alice and Marcella Detroit duet on “Millie and Billie”, a standard ballad, about a killer “criminally insane” couple to close Side One.

The only really killer hard rock track on the album is “Serious”, commencing the second side.  Foster’s production adds carefully arranged backing vocals, which matches the sound of the album, but dates the music to the time it was recorded.  Ezrin had a way of pulling off similar tricks and making them sound weighty.  Foster turns it around and produces a celebratory, gleeful sound.  I prefer the Ezrin approach, but one time the David Foster style works was the single “How You Gonna See Me Now”.  Something about this schlocky ballad works. The character in the song is writing a letter home to his wife, accompanied by this cheesey 70’s AM radio ballad. That’s the perfect way to do it.

“For Veronica’s Sake” and “Jackknife Johnny” are both good but unremarkable, although it seems Alice and crew really tried! They get an “A” for effort, but this brand of late 70’s adult contemporary rock has not aged well. The playing is the highlight, organ and guitar both. What the album was really missing up to this point is a suitably psychotic Alice Cooper song, but the final track “Inmates (We’re All Crazy)” scratches that itch. With all the pomp and circumstance necessary, this song delivers the dose of drama and strangeness that you need on an Alice Cooper album. It’s a disturbing lyric, too. “It’s not like we did something wrong. We just burned down the church, while the choir within sang religious songs.” Another inmate derailed a train. Then, the child-like sing-song chorus of “We’re all crazy, we’re all crazy, we’re all crazy…(Lizzy Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks)…” Such a contrast, the child-like innocence and the horrendous deeds, but this is nothing new for Alice. The picture is now complete, and the album is over.

The cover art really pops on LP. Alice’s face is painted on hospital doors, which fold out to reveal the characters inside. Too bad all I have here at LeBrain HQ is a little CD booklet.

Alice, Bernie Tauper, David Foster, Dick Wagner, and the rest of them made an accomplished album with From the Inside. It’s a left-of-center artwork that isn’t immediately appealing, but does have the knack of drawing you back for another listen. I recommend doing just that.

3/5 stars

#464: “Would anybody tell me if I was gettin’…stupider?”

FLATLINE

GETTING MORE TALE #464: “Would anybody tell me if I was gettin’…stupider?”

Can popular music make you dumber?  That depends on who you listen to.

Youngsters growing up in the 60’s and 70’s would be forgiven for thinking that a “light year” was a unit of time.

“And here I sit, hand on the telephone, hearing a voice I’d known, a couple of light years ago.”

Joan Baez wrote those words, which certainly paint an image in your mind, but she misused the words “light years”.  A light year isn’t a unit of time.  It’s a unit of distance.  A light year is how far light can travel in a vacuum in one year:  It is 9,460,730,472,580,800 meters.   Such mistakes were common; even George Lucas made the mistake in the first Star Wars.  He wrote that the Millenium Falcon is the ship that made the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs.  A parsec is not a unit of time.  It too is a measurement of distance – 3.26 light years!*

If you’re a Billy Joel fan, you’re probably familiar with “The Ballad of Billy the Kid”.  There have been a lot of myths and half-truths about the Kid in cinema, but Joel wasn’t aiming for accuracy.  Therefore it didn’t bother him to write that the Kid was hung, when he was actually shot by Pat Garrett.

These kinds of mistakes are not terrible sins.  Most people would be forgiven for not knowing how Billy the Kid died.  Nobody is getting their science lessons from Joan Baez.  However, it is important to take note.  Kids today are impressionable, and sometimes take the words of their pop heroes as gospel.  Let us hope this is not the case with the rapper who calls himself B.o.B.

Now, B.o.B. is one of those folks who does not believe the Earth is a sphere.  B.o.B. believes the Earth is a flat disc — he is what they call a “Flat Earther”.  Forget everything you know about the universe, about how gravity works, or even that trip you took to Australia two summers ago.  According to B.o.B., whose science credentials include dropping out of school in the ninth grade, “I didn’t wanna believe it either.”  However, “there’s no way u [sic] can see all the evidence and not know.”

I wonder if the Flat Earthers and the Hollow Earthers ever get together for a good old-fashioned rumble to decide who is right?

Recently, B.o.B. has picked a fight with Neil deGrasse Tyson, world renowned astrophysicist and surely one of the smartest people alive.  B.o.B. questioned the “international laws” that “prevent you” from exploring Antarctica and the north pole.  “What’s there to hide?” asks B.o.B.  I don’t know what international laws he’s talking about.  The Top Gear guys drove their cars to the (magnetic) north pole without violating any laws.  Nobody “disappeared” Jeremy Clarkson afterwards (though some would like to for other reasons).

Clearly frustrated with his attempts to talk sense and science into the rapper, Tyson tweeted “Flat Earth is a problem only when people in charge think that way. No law stops you from regressively basking in it.”  In response, B.o.B. replied in the way he knows best: in song.  His brand new song “Flatline” mocks Tyson for his stance.  The cover art is an aerial shot of a city.  The lyrics refer to science as a cult, and advise Neil to “loosen up your vest”.  Tyson responded with class:  “Duude — to be clear: Being five centuries regressed in your reasoning doesn’t mean we all can’t still like your music.”

Don’t listen to B.o.B. for your science facts.  How do we know the world is round?  Because B.o.B. uploaded his track to Soundcloud.  He did this via the internet, which people connect to every day using satellites.  These satellites circle in geostationary orbits, something impossible if the Earth were a disc.  In fact, we have been using satellites since 1957.  Unfortunately in this age of “I only believe in what I can see,” it seems B.o.B. has taken the technology for granted. “Flat line, flat line, you fooled us for the last time,” he raps cluelessly.

Still confused?  Here’s deGrasse Tyson.  Take it away, Neil!

B.o.B. sampled this video (the part where Tyson trips over his words at 40 seconds in) in his song to mock the scientist.

 

* The Star Wars expanded universe retroactively explained this by saying that Han Solo did make the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs, by achieving the shortest distance through a treacherous region of space.

 

 

#463: The X Factor Failure

 

GETTING MORE TALE #463: The X Factor Failure

When Bruce Dickinson left Iron Maiden in 1993, the metal world was rocked yet again by another major defection.  First Vince Neil, then Rob Halford, and now Bruce!  It seemed the old guard of 80’s metal had suddenly fallen from the top of the world, to critical condition on life support.

Some fans gave up.  The loyal waited eagerly for news.  First were the rumours that Paul Di’Anno would come back (quickly shot down by Steve Harris).  Then Michael Kiske from Helloween had his name dropped in a few speculative magazine articles.  Finally in 1994, the identity of the new singer was released:  Blaze Bayley, ex-Wolfsbane.  In North America, the majority  muttered, “Who?”  The fans who still cared, anyway.  Those who did not cut their hair and moved on to Soundgarden and Alice in Chains.

Another long quiet year went by before new Maiden music hit the shelves.  When it did, in the form of the album The X Factor, it was clear that Iron Maiden had changed.  They were now a quieter, darker animal, with a singer to suit that sound.  The departure was not well received.  Fans were not impressed by the long, repetitive songs, nor the lower-voiced singer.  The album failed to make a significant dent in the charts, although it sold well initially in Quebec,  the last stalwart of metal in Canada.  One fan who did accept and embrace the changes was yours truly, Mr. LeBrain, but not without taking flak for it.

When the CD was released, I was already working at the Record Store, so I bought it immediately.  We didn’t stock enough copies to get it in early, or even offer a good price on it.  In other words, we ordered just three copies of the new Iron Maiden CD, with one of those being reserved for me!   That’s how far Maiden had fallen.  It took two or three good listens to adjust to the new softer Maiden, but certain songs jumped out fairly quickly, such as “The Sign of the Cross” and “Lord of the Flies”.  I enjoyed the darkly introspective lyrics on new songs such as “The Aftermath” and “Look for the Truth”.

The girl I was dating at the time was not into rock music; not in the least.  The last CD I bought for her was Much Dance ’95, featuring such hits as “What is Love” by Haddaway, “Saturday Night” by Whigfield, and of course, “Macarena”.  I even took a bullet and listened to it with her, the whole thing.  In turn, she tried to give my Joe Satriani a shot, but she wasn’t particularly interested.   I knew there was no chance she’d be into Iron Maiden, but since I was excited that they had new music out, I was talking about it a lot.  I tried to tell her how much I was enjoying the new lyrics on the album.

That’s when she said the words I will never, ever forget:

“Why are you even listening to new Iron Maiden?  You know they will never be popular again.”

 

Aye carumba!

Popular?  What true Maiden fan ever bought an album because it was popular?

I was deeply disappointed in her words, and even a little hurt.  I was trying to convey to her that the words and music were impacting me; I was feeling something and wanted to express that.  It is always good when music provokes thoughts and feelings.  I would have loved for the album to be successful, but that wasn’t the point.  I never listened to Maiden to be cool.

She dumped me shortly after I bought the new Lisa Loeb album for her.  Damn you, Lisa Loeb.  Then, she started banging an ex-girlfriend of mine, and her new boyfriend…at the same time.

Let me repeat that for you just in case you missed it.

Then, she started banging an ex-girlfriend of mine, and her new boyfriend, at the same time.  Both of them.

Henceforth, I dove headfirst into that Maiden album to drown my misery, and it became one of several discs that were my soundtrack to that miserable winter for me: Maiden, Ozzy’s Ozzmosis, and Oasis’ (What’s the Story) Morning Glory.  If there is a reason I have a soft spot for The X Factor by Iron Maiden, you can blame that girl who said they’d never be popular again.

While all is forgiven today, I have not forgotten that remark (obviously), and the amazing thing is that she was 100% wrong.  Maiden are more popular today than they ever have been.   Their T-shirts have become fashion statements.  Kids who weren’t even born when Bruce left the band are buying tickets to see them live in 2016!  But much more important than that, they have achieved a level of artistic integrity and consistency that most bands should be envious of.

Maiden, never popular again?  File that under failed predictions from the 90’s, right next to the Y2k scare!  Up the Irons!

SAM_1037

R.I.P. Jimmy Bain

2016, I fucking hate you.

R.I.P. Jimmy Bain, age 68, now the second member of the original Dio to pass.  And yet another Rainbow casualty.

Jimmy rocked.  Listen to some Jimmy today.