This short, which pays homage to Star Wars creator George Lucas in the style of Shakespeare In Love, is a funny, creative little film that any old-school Star Wars fan will enjoy. A fictional account of how Lucas came up with his epic saga simply by taking inspiration from life around him, it is loaded with references both subtle and obvious. Much better than “spoof movies” today, George Lucas In Love, in a mere 9 minutes, is loaded with more laughs than the entire Scary Movie franchise. The Flanneled One himself is a fan.
It is 1967, and young George Lucas has writer’s block. He just can’t seem to finish his movie about space farming. Instead he decides to “write what he knows”, and we all know what happened after that. Stay tuned for the not-so-surprise ending.
The DVD is padded out with some other unfunny shorts, Evil Hill, ll, Film Club, and Swing Blade. Don’t waste your time. There is also an audio commentary and some behind-the-scenes features.
Keeping the run time in mind, pick this up at a reasonable price if you can — which may be hard as it is out of print.
HELLO! MY NAME IS BLOTTO – THE MOVIE!(2025 – 1 hour 44 minutes)
Directed by Rob Lichter
I am a firm believer in documenting music history. There are many groups throughout rock history that have had hits, fans, and stories to tell, but with scarce documentation. One such band was Blotto – until now.
In 2025, director Rob Lichter (also known as Bert Blotto) finally released the long-gestating Blotto documentary film, Hello! My Name Is Blotto – The Movie! This film has been a labour of love, and that love comes across in every frame. Meticulous attention to detail, comprehensive live and TV clips, and extensive interview footage with all the band members make up the bulk of this loving look at Albany’s greatest…comedy rock band? Rock comedy ensemble? What are Blotto anyway? This is a question that comes up during the movie several times. Why didn’t the record labels get what Blotto were selling?
“We were not musical enough to be a musical band, and not funny enough to be a comedy act!” sums up guitarist and singer Broadway Blotto. “We wanted fame with a living wage.”
“We weren’t rich and famous; we were solvent and well known,” responds guitarist and singer Bowtie Blotto.
Starting out in the early 1970s as the Star Spangled Washboard Band, three of the founding members of Blotto first began playing comedic bluegrass music. They used costumes and aliases: “Broadway Harris” for example (no relation to Bill & Emily). The roots of Blotto were forming, though in a genre far removed from rock. You’ll see early TV appearances, featuring Bowtie’s much bigger hair, and some music that was later rocked up into Blotto songs, such as “High School Honey”. The Star Spangled Washboard Band earned great reviews and plenty of laughs. Their knack for quick comedy was evident, as the chemistry between Sarge, Broadway and Bowtie blossomed. It’s possible that I saw the Star Spangled Washboard Band on television back when I was a child, as they appeared on programs like the Mike Douglas Show, which was a TV staple in our house.
From the bass-playing hotspot of Ballston Spa, New York, came Cheese Blotto, a gifted musician who had a knack for groove. The Washboard Band never launched into super-stardom though, as misfortune derailed a big New York City gig. The band broke up in 1978, but of course, they couldn’t stay apart forever. Working as a bartender, Cheese was eager to be on stage instead of serving drinks, so he called his old buddies for a jam. They didn’t even have a name, but washboard was out and rock was in.
The band acquired singer Blanche Blotto, who started as a fan (a “Blottette”), and became a key member, singing lead on “Stop (In The Name of Love)”. Finally, they found drummer Lee Harvey Blotto, who fit in like a glove from day one. “You’ll know the songs better than they do,” he was assured.
Blotto wisely decided to record some demos. “I Wanna Be A Lifeguard” became a hit, earning radio play in New York City, and crucial airtime on the fledgling MTV. “Lifeguard” was in fact the 36th song ever played on MTV, on day one. Did you know the video was filmed on a freezing cold April day?
Shortly after “Lifeguard”, Blotto secured a recording with legendary producer Bob Clearmountain, which yielded two songs in one overnight session. Unsurprisingly, they sounded great. Sadly, it never led to a major label deal as they hoped. “I think Atlantic Records is going in a different direction than Blotto,” went one heartbreaking rejection.
The film is divided into six sections, each one covering an era of the band. It is augmented by interviews with the people who were there at the time, including MTV VJ Martha Quinn to talk about “Lifeguard” burning up TV screens nationwide. Buck Dharma, who shared their sense of humour, appears to discuss the hit “Metal Head”. We even get to see outtakes from the innovative music video. This movie is packed full of facts, fans, and perspectives from Albany New York, where they became local heroes. Sadly, the talented Cheese Blotto passed away in 1999, and only TV footage remains of him. Though we lost Sarge in 2019, plenty of interviews with him remain. Past members Chevrolet, Hammerhead and Clyde Blotto also appear, fleshing out the documentation of the different lineup changes.
“Chevrolet Blotto, our newest Blotto, was auditioned mainly on the strength of his last name,” jokes Broadway in a vintage interview clip.
There are clips of unreleased songs such as “I Love You Calvin Klein”. There are so many stories; hilarious stories. Detailed stories about the creation of the songs and the album covers. There are tragic stories of loss, and bizarre tales of Blotto haters. Who could hate Blotto?
This is the only unanswered question that the film leaves open. Who could hate Blotto? Though the labels had no idea what to do with them, the fans kept coming back through theme nights, Blottoweens, reunion gigs and new members. The band never really packed it in. They moved on; got other work. Lee Harvey even did double duty as a lawyer and a lifeguard. But they never really stopped being Blotto. As Blanche says, it’s always a part of them.
Though I laughed throughout the film, there are tears to be shed as well. Both Cheese and Sarge went too soon, and it is clear that they are missed. Each member of the band brought something to the table. Sarge was not just a singer, but also an artist. Cheese’s disco grooves were magically delicious, and his decision to go bald brought a new visual dimension to the band. Their quick wits are on sharp display in the vintage footage.
I have always felt like the world needed more Blotto. Their small treasure chest of tunes is easy to devour in a sitting or two. Now, we finally have more Blotto, and a serious addition to the catalogue it is. Hello! My Name is Blotto – The Movie! is a constantly entertaining deep dive on a band that we needed more of. A band that the world needs to hear. Anyone who likes music would enjoy this film, and maybe become a new fan, just a few decades late.
The Multiverse Saga has been moving at a glacier’s pace. We’re umpteen movies and series worth of content into the 2nd saga, the Marvel Cinematic Multiverse Saga, and the Avengers still haven’t assembled! The pieces are finally moving into place for this to happen, hallelujah, in Captain America (4): Brave New World. We’re also finally seeing some resolution to events set in place during the Eternals (2021), Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021) and even The Incredible Hulk (2008). It also sets up the sure-to-follow Mutant Saga. None of this is spoiler territory as we’ve seen these reveals in trailers and casting.
Fans are sick of the setup, and movies have to stand on their own. Captain America 4 doesn’t really do that; it really helps if you’ve seen the above films. It is, however, a better than average Marvel movie. Some issues that have plagued recent ones have been improved upon. It still feels like one piece of a larger puzzle, which wasn’t so much an issue with Phase One’s Captain America films.
Captain America is now Sam Wilson (Anthony Mackie), and the movie recaps that Steve Rogers entrusted the shield to him. Carl Lumbly returns as Isiah Bradley, the forgotten super soldier that was ill treated by his country. Just as there is a new Captain America, there is also a new Falcon: Joaquin Torres played Danny Ramirez. Those who haven’t seen or don’t remember much of the Falcon and the Winter Soldier will be lost as to who these characters are. New to the team is Harrison Ford as now-President Thunderbolt Ross. Controversially to some, this role was recast after the death of William Hurt. Harrison’s take on the character is far more Ford, but I had forgotten how much I like the guy as a baddie. Ford’s role was large, and he was great in every mood of the mercurial president. Also new to the multiverse, Shira Haas was terrific as the former Black Widow, Ruth Bat-Seraph. Giancarlo Esposito was a fine secondary villain as Sidewinder, but we have all seen Esposito chew the scenery with far more vigor in other famous roles. He brought the chill, but not so much the fury.
Since Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Sam is more accepted as Captain America, but still suffers from self doubt and questions whether he should have taken the super soldier serum or not. He is given perspective from the supporting characters, but ultimately feels like he has something to prove. It’s not as emotional or satisfying a character arc as he had in the TV series. Mackie, of course, plays the role with the passion we expect from the actor. He is certainly his own Captain. Steve Rogers was more quiet and reserved. He spoke softly, but knew he could back up his words. Mackie’s Captain is a little more fun loving, a little more brash and loud, and a blast to watch, especially in intense one-on-one scenes with Ford.
The cloak-and-dagger plot isn’t too complex. It all comes down to a personal vendetta to take down President Ross and expose him as the monster he really is. There’s worldwide tension over Celestial Island, a massive statue in the middle of the Indian Ocean that was created during the events of the Eternals and barely referenced since. Why? Probably because the celestial named Tiamut is not just made of rock, but also contains Adamantium. The same stuff Wolverine’s bones are made of. With Adamantium introduced into the storyline, we have even more setup for the eventual X-Men. Turns out this stuff is even more valuable than Vibranium, and stronger too. America and Japan are at the edge of war after an incident involving a stolen shipment of Japanese-owned Adamantium. In an eerie case of prophecy, America and its allies are falling apart. This, and some scenes with Ross losing his temper to his upper staff, felt…ominous.
Ultimately, at the end of the film, you know what Marvel wanted to show you: Captain America vs. the Red Hulk. There are plenty of action scenes before that, but this is where Marvel may be learning something of a lesson. If you look at something like Black Panther 2, or the Marvels, the action scenes had way too much going on with so much visual noise. They were hard to follow, and in many ways, nonsensical. These action scenes are scaled down. In fact, the battle of Celestial Island featured primarily just four combatants: two jets, Captain America, and the Falcon. There were missiles and big fleets of ships, but the action was kept to mostly those four elements. The Red Hulk segments also felt scaled back slightly, and easy to follow and enjoy. We saw the film in IMAX, and the Red Hulk looked great. The action wasn’t as CG-ish and washed out as we were used to. The giant Celestial made a cool backdrop for a battle, but I would have liked to have seen more.
The soundtrack was interesting. While I liked the score by Laura Karpman, it didn’t feel like it fit the mood of several scenes, including the opening.
There is one character design that deviated far from the original comic material and looked creepy enough, but might have missed the mark of what could have been.
There is one post-credit scene. Everyone in the theater stayed. They knew the drill. It was a cool little sequence that hints at the big things we know are coming in Avengers: Doomsday and Secret Wars. It feels like we’re finally getting closer to the ending.
Rating the four Captain America films, you just cannot top The Winter Soldier, or Civil War. That’s not going to happen. Brave New World is a welcome continuation of the legacy. It’s light on big emotions, but it does satisfy for action and furthering the adventures of the heroes who will one day soon be known as the Avengers again. Bring it on.
In some ways, it’s a shame that Orson Welles made Citizen Kane, and made it as his first picture. It seems to enable general audiences to ignorantly overlook an extensive and mostly excellent body of work. One of my favorites, and a film Welles himself once referred to as “the best film I have ever made,” is 1962’s The Trial. Welles tackles the Kafka novel of the same name with a masterful understanding of its source.
The tale is a surreal examination of a corrupt justice system in a vaguely dystopian society. Welles brings Kafka’s surrealism to screen in what might be the most strikingly acute representation of dream logic ever filmed. Certainly closer in feeling to my dreams than anything Buñuel or David Lynch ever made, great as their work remains. In The Trial, The tension is brought to a slow boil, as opposed to any cheap scenes of outright horror. The film has been compared to a nightmare, and too often cinematic portrayals of nightmares defer to sensationalized moments of screeching noise and hellish imagery, neglecting that ineffable feeling of dread that accompanies true nightmares in the moment. That feeling of fear and not being entirely sure what it is triggering the state of alarm.
A story like this could easily come off as cold, but the narrative focuses on the man himself over the system oppressing him, grounding the story through his point of view. Anthony Perkins plays the accused, only he and the audience are never told what crime he allegedly committed to warrant the persecution. It feeds into the dreamlike fear of not having all the pieces, a fear of the unknown, and ultimately a lack of control. It’s a powerlessness in dreams that parallels the powerlessness many feel at the hands of a cold and impersonal judicial system, and the marriage makes for one of the most emotionally compelling movies of this type.
The more confused we get, the more helpless we feel along with the accused. But the film never goes so off the rails that we’re lost completely. It gives the feeling of drowning while being so close to the surface. We can almost piece it together, but it’s murky. The feeling of disorientation doubling as a way to generate fear, and further represent how many must feel being subjected to the complexities of the legal system.
The visual language of the film is anchored by a bleak but soft black and white. Welles impresses with his typically inventive shots and images, many left off kilter in the slightest of ways, making extensive use of shadows, auras, and ambiguity. Rooms lead where it’s not possible to go, settings feel strange, and the extras make no noise. They’re strange and bizarre placeholders in the background, silent and faceless observers.
In spite of the narrative inducing the sensation of lacking control, it’s clear we’re in the hands of a director in total control of every aspect of his film. The cohesiveness of the story, visual style, and, mood give us something to hang onto as we’re thrust through this nightmarish tale. Every piece works in tandem to create an overlooked masterpiece from one of cinema’s geniuses, spawn from a novel by one of literature’s very same.
“Wait. I got a Wookiee in my office.” – Dan Narvali, forty-eight.
forty-eight (how not to make a film in 2 days) (2004 independant film)
By Matt Head and Adam Skinner
It’s hard to believe that the early 2000s were so long ago! Get ready to feel old: they were! The short film called forty-eight by local Kitchener filmmakers Matt Head and Adam Skinner sure proves that time has elapsed. Witness: the goth-emo-punk clothes, the ear tunnels, and a sense of humour that was on point for 2004, but terribly dated by 2024.
Skinner and Head originated in a local “Jackass” style comedy group called Me6. In the wild wild days before YouTube, these guys were buying used Blockbuster uniforms and filming themselves whilst pretending to work at the hallowed video rental establishment. Me6 would hit each other in the head with frying pans. What they did wasn’t subtle or original, but it was local. Given that Jackass was one of the biggest franchises in the world, fans were seeking more of that style of stunt comedy online. Me6 were on the pulse during an age when the internet was not yet saturated. All they really needed was some originality.
Forty-eight is very original. It is an 18 minute film, and the project that showed what Skinner and Head were capable of doing themselves.
Matt and Adam play fictional versions of themselves. At breakfast one morning, Adam spies an ad for a film festival in two days. Matt is skeptical that they can come up with a movie in just 48 hours, but suddenly has an idea: a summetime fun movie! The only problem is it’s February. The project is abandoned in favour of a supposedly better one. Seeking funding from a local lawyer named Dan Narvali, the pair secure $71.50 to do another film idea: Dan Narvali’s Killer in the Basement. Actors and a crew are hired, and things immediately deteriorate. Blame falls directly upon the disorganized shoulders of Skinner and Head. Everyone quits. Dan Narvali’s Killer in the Basement is changed to Baseball Dog, which fails to launch, and changes to a fantasy film. The high fantasy changes to Sexparty, then a war movie, and finally to Ghosts With Guns. Strife within the crew, and everyone constantly trying to get the only female cast member to take her top off, causes everything to crash to a halt. Will the duo ever get a movie made in time for the festival?
The humour is largely crude, relying on gay slurs and sexual harassment jokes. One always must remember the time in which a movie was created. Compared to any other vulgar comedy in 2004, this is on par. There are also things that are objectively funny, such as trying to make a fantasy film called Quest for the Crown starring a girl wearing a snake suit while wielding a rifle. There’s also a genuine moment of laughter when one actor falls down a snowy hill yelling, “We’re gonna take the crown! Cover me Serpentina!” The performances are spot-on, spontaneous and big time. These are funny actors.
The DVD comes with deleted scenes, gag reel, stills, and an informative audio commentary track by Skinner and Head.
As a product of its time, forty-eight is a serious accomplishment for independent filmmakers. The movie really was made in just two days. However, the cringe factor today ranges from uncomfortable to gross.
Did you think Silence of the Lambs was the first film to feature Hannibal Lecter? You were wrong! Brian Cox brought the character to life in Michael Mann’s Manhunter five years prior. It’s the first film adaptation of Thomas Harris’ novel Red Dragon. Despite under-performing big time at the box office, the film has has been reappraised in recent years and given more of the credit it deserves as pioneering influence on the crime genre.
The story follows retired FBI agent Will Graham (William Peterson) being pulled back into the fold by his old boss to catch the latest crazed serial killer known as the Tooth Fairy (Tom Noonan). Graham was responsible for catching Lecter years prior (spelled Lecktor in this movie) although the process left him physically and mentally scarred. Graham’s skill set allows him to adorn the point of view of the killer a process that drains him mentally and leaves him on the cusp of insanity, but makes him remarkably effective in solving cases.
Being pulled from retirement and forced to consult with his assailant Lecter, Graham begins to deteriorate faster than before. Fresh out of one of my favorite films, To Live and Die in L.A., Peterson nails the role, appearing increasingly haggard and desperate throughout the movie. You can see his story in the lines of his sleep deprived face. Brian Cox’s portrayal of Lecter is more grounded, cunning, and disturbing than the uber theatrical Hopkins version. The two don’t share much screen time, but their link is felt throughout the film, particularly when Lecter vicariously finds a way to torment Graham from his cell through clandestine messages to the Tooth Fairy.
Given that this is a Michael Mann film, the whole thing is an aesthetic masterpiece with the “style” knob cranked to eleven. It exudes an aura of cool detachment complimentary to the chilly atmosphere of violent mental depravity. There’s also an emphasis on forensics and detective work many thrillers skip over for the more sensational moments. Here we see the cracks in between, Graham being forced to watch tapes of the Tooth Fairy stalking families before he murders them, trying to piece together a motive.
If you’re any kind of a fan of Michael Mann’s work or crime thrillers in general, there’s no reason I could see this wouldn’t be up your alley. It’s one of his most overlooked works, despite the small renaissance it’s been enjoying recently. Manhunter is smart, stylish, and lying ever in wait for you to discover its assets. Also, Joan Allen is in it, and she’s a total babe.
HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH(1982 Universal)
Directed by Tommy Lee Wallace
I’m sure most of you know by now that Halloween was supposed to be an anthology series, but the first film proved so popular the studio wanted Michael Meyers back for the sequel, and got him. This third entry was supposed to right the ship with a whole new story, but after two films with Michael, fans just couldn’t accept this and the movie was critically and commercially panned at release. Philistines!
Decades later the movie has had a bit of a resurgence, with plenty of loyal fans flocking to it every autumn. If you go into it thinking of it as Season of the Witch as opposed to Halloween III, it might help you appreciate the many merits of this film. It may make me a horror pariah, but it’s my favorite in the series. I’ve never been crazy about the original. I think Bob Clark did the same concept better years earlier in Black Christmas. The other Halloween sequels range from fine to shit to fucking shit.
Absolute legend Tom Atkins takes over for Jamie Lee Curtis as protagonist in this outing, playing an alcoholic doctor who’s also a licentious Lothario. There’s nary a woman in this movie he doesn’t or hasn’t previously screwed. Age, race, relationship status matter not to this man. He’s an equal opportunity womanizer, and that’s why we love him.
The mystery begins when a crazed man being chased runs into his hospital spouting incoherent nonsense, only to be assassinated by a man who blows himself up to avoid further questioning. His buxom young daughter shows up to investigate, and Tom abandons his kids on Halloween and ignores his estranged wife to get to the bottom of this young… I mean… the bottom of the mystery.
Signs point toward an Irish Halloween mask company. Spooky witchcraft, sacrificial rites, and robots abound in honor of Samhain. I always liked that this took the series in a new direction of horror. A kind of mystery thriller instead of a slasher, with a healthy dose of ‘80s camp. Even with the camp, the villainous old man from Robocop’s plan is remarkably sinister. I don’t remember Michael being willing to kill kids; this guy’s taking out thousands of those little fucks.
I find it hard to articulate why I get a kick out of this one so much. I suppose I have a weak spot for older, overweight, alcoholic, grizzled guy protagonists being incredibly politically incorrect by today’s standards. See also Nick Nolte in 48 Hours and George C. Scott in just about everything. Tom Atkins’ character is in that studied tradition, although a steady influx of vaginal variety seems to keep him from being as world-weary as the aforementioned.
Season of the Witch is a perfectly solid horror film, and I’m convinced it’s abysmal reputation is solely due to fans expecting more Michael bullshit. The Carpenter score slaps, the cinematography is vibrant and colorful, and the story progresses logically, however absurd it gets at points. Watch it, or Harrison will curse you with the scent of cabbage.
Here’s a video that nasty casual horror fans may not know. Too hardcore for the UK, Pieces is a Spanish-American slasher gore fest, one of the most violent of the ’80s. Fortunately, the film mitigates the viscera with a cheeky sense of humor. By no means would I call it a horror/comedy, but it does sacrifice logic and plot consistency for entertainment. I still have no idea how one suspect is cleared of being the killer; he just shows up free of the police a few scenes later and everyone acts like it’s normal.
Much of the humor comes from poor taste: extremely poor taste. The opening scene presents us with a young boy completing a pornographic puzzle, then butchering his abusive mother with an axe before dismembering her body. When the police arrive, the boy is witty and manipulative enough to pretend to be traumatized and oblivious. It’s a nice touch when your slasher is smart enough to stay out of jail or the loony bin.
The plot picks up decades after the opening scene at a college where the students have a nasty habit of getting disembowelled in creative ways. The cops send in an undercover operative (Mary “the MILF” Riggs) to be the women’s tennis instructor, and keep an eye out for the killer. She’s aided by the one student in the know, Kendall James. Kendall also desperately wants to get in Mary’s tennis shorts, despite the huge age gap.
Graphic hijinks ensue as they piece together the mystery while more bodies drop. One murder leads into an acting moment so astonishingly powerful, it brings tears to my eyes to this day.
And the word “bastard” will send me into a fit of hysterical laughter forevermore. The plot in a film like this doesn’t matter much. You can probably figure out who the real killer is in the first ten minutes. That’s never been the appeal of a video nasty though. As schlocky, stringy, sinewy entertainment, it does its job well. The kills are some of the best of the decade, it’s funny both intentionally and unintentionally, and it’s got that low budget grime that your Halloweens and Friday the 13ths don’t that only make the film feel that much naughtier. Give it a shot if you’ve got the stomach!
Welcome boys and ghouls to Holen’s Halloween Extravaganza 2024! Throughout the month of October, yours truly will be supplying you with reviews of hellish horror every week. We begin with not one film, but five! I’ve decided to review Alice Cooper’s top 5 horror films according to an interview in NME.
In order to avoid a mammoth length approximating the intimidating size of the LeSausage*, I’ll keep each of these as concise as my loquacious heart will allow. The films are as such in the order that Cooper lists them.
5.SALEM’S LOT (1979)
A TV miniseries based on a Stephen King book as directed by Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s own Tobe Hooper? Sign me up. Featuring some of the greatest and most disturbing vampire makeup ever put to film, the parts that focus on him are the strongest moments of the film. That said, there’s too much fat in the runtime that focuses on the mostly uninteresting townspeople. It could have maintained the slow burn anticipation of revealing the vampire while cutting the three hour run time down to a standard ninety minute feature. Still, the vampire scenes rule.
3.5/5
4.SUSPIRIA (1977)
An iridescent Italian horror classic from Dario Argento. It’s a visually stunning piece with a masterful grip on tension. An American dancer travels to Germany to join a prestigious dance studio, only to learn it’s a front for a coven of witches. Ah, poop. Like several horror movies, it lacks narrative cohesion and momentum, but the visuals, mystery, and creatively graphic kills keep you interested in the ride.
4/5
3.THE HAUNTING (1963)
Black and white psychological terror. One of the all time great haunted house movies. The cinematography is immaculate, light and shadow coalesce with a classic story to foster a genuinely chilling atmosphere. The story isn’t particularly unique, with a scientist visiting a haunted house with several volunteers to prove the existence of ghosts, only to bite off more than they can chew. It’s just executed about as well as you could do so.
4/5
2.THE EVIL DEAD (1981)
Sam Raimi’s feature directorial debut, and Bruce Campbell’s big screen debut. It’s a feature length remake of a 1978 Raimi short film called Within the Woods which served as a demonstration to obtain funds for the full version here. Joel Coen was the assistant editor on The Evil Dead, and was inspired by this approach, opting to shoot a trailer for Blood Simple to secure funding for that film. No Evil Dead, maybe no Fargo, Big Lebowski, or No Country for Old Men either. How about that?
As for the film at hand, it’s a classic cabin in the woods story with gore aplenty and a kinetic campy style. Raimi’s visual style is antithetical to boredom when he’s directing anything except Kevin Costner’s worst baseball movie. The Evil Dead is good clean American fun, but would ultimately be improved upon in every way by the absolutely bonkers sequel Evil Dead II.
4.5/5
1.CARNIVAL OF SOULS (1962)
Perhaps the most overlooked movie on the list, it’s a haunting paranormal thriller with a somewhat predictable twist, but that’s not the point. A black and white haunting miracle of unease and gothic dissidence. The main character even plays a church organ! It excels in the quiet moments, as it builds to its tragically horrific but inevitable conclusion. Shoutout to director Herk Harvey, who also directed the greatest work safety film ever, Shake Hands With Danger.
5/5
Nice picks, Alice! His list meets the Holen seal of approval. Tune in next week kids for something completely different…
* That’s just a rumour. One I started myself. Flattery will get you everywhere, Holen! – Mike
ROLE MODELS (2009, 99 minutes, Paul Rudd, Seann William Scott)
Directed by David Wain
All those “bro” movies are from the same mold, aren’t they? They still make them too, variations on a theme. The same general plotline always applies: there’s a pair of funny but crude friends, who have a love/hate thing going on. There’s a girlfriend (or fiance), usually a professional of some kind, to win or win back. There are usually dick and fart jokes.
Role Models is all this, so I won’t go and tell you that it’s different from Knocked Up, Superbad, or Mr. Woodcock in any significant way.
Except one way.
.
Role Models is a love letter to the Hottest Band in the Land. One of the writers clearly loves them, and knew how to make that funny.
In one of the earliest scenes, Scott throws Love Gun into the car tape deck. “Kiss? Nobody likes Kiss. Paul Stanley is sick of Kiss,” says Rudd. Yet, the song “Love Gun” is a recurring motif in Role Models.
Here’s the plot in a nutshell: Two guys work for an energy drink company called Minotaur (think Red Bull, but in gross green). Their job entails doing presentations to kids in highschool to stay off drugs, and drink Minotaur instead. (“We’re selling nuclear horse piss to kids” – Rudd.) One day it all goes wrong for Rudd and his girlfriend Beth (get it? See where this is going?), played by Elizabeth Banks. Rudd goes a little nuts at a presentation, and his giant minotaur truck ends up mounting a horse statue in the school yard.
Luckily, Beth is a lawyer and cuts Rudd and Scott a deal with the judge (without the two even having to appear before him, how convenient for a 99 minute movie). They have to volunteer with “Sturdy Wings”; sort of like a big brothers program. They each have to mentor a child for a set number of hours. The program, run by a hilarious Jane Lynch, is only mildly creepy.
As the two protagonists get to know their assigned “littles”, Scott teaches his new friend about Kiss. “These guys look like clowns,” says lil’ Ronnie. Scott explains that they’re not, they’re actually really rich Jewish guys, and all their songs are about fucking! This interests his young friend, who then starts dancing to “Love Gun”.
“You pull the trigger of my…Love Guuuuuuuuuun!” goes the familiar song.
“See Ronnie? His dick is the gun!” explains Scott helpfully.
Meanwhile, Paul Rudd’s little buddy Augie is played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse (known to you as McLovin). Augie loves fantasy role playing (LARPing), and takes Rudd to a battle. Rudd is not impressed (“I just spent the afternoon with Gleep-Glopp and the Floop-dee-doos”), but decides to help Augie when he needs battle companions. There’s a memorable camping trip that ends with a naked Seann William Scott, but it’s balanced out by Wings jokes (including a fake Wings song called “Love Take Me Down to the Streets”).
Without spoiling the epic ending (complete with a sword battle, a siege, and Ken Jeong), except to say that before credits role, you will hear at least two more Kiss songs, and see the four main characters dressed in Kiss makeup and battle armor. No explanation is given for how the quartet threw the armor together in a mere afternoon, but details do not matter in a film like this. Prepare for a climax that finishes the movie on a hilarious note.
Other great talents in this movie included Joe Lo Truglio and Ken Marino, so check it out if that sounds like your kinda thing. And especially if you’re a Kiss fan.
GEORGE LUCAS IN LOVE (1999 MediaTrip)
The Multiverse Saga has been moving at a glacier’s pace. We’re umpteen movies and series worth of content into the 2nd saga, the Marvel Cinematic Multiverse Saga, and the Avengers still haven’t assembled! The pieces are finally moving into place for this to happen, hallelujah, in Captain America (4): Brave New World. We’re also finally seeing some resolution to events set in place during the Eternals (2021), Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021) and even The Incredible Hulk (2008). It also sets up the sure-to-follow Mutant Saga. None of this is spoiler territory as we’ve seen these reveals in trailers and casting.
mikeladano.com 