Bert Blotto

REVIEW: Hello! My Name Is Blotto – The Movie!

HELLO!  MY NAME IS BLOTTO – THE MOVIE! (2025 – 1 hour 44 minutes)

Directed by Rob Lichter

I am a firm believer in documenting music history.  There are many groups throughout rock history that have had hits, fans, and stories to tell, but with scarce documentation.  One such band was Blotto – until now.

In 2025, director Rob Lichter (also known as Bert Blotto) finally released the long-gestating Blotto documentary film, Hello! My Name Is Blotto – The Movie!  This film has been a labour of love, and that love comes across in every frame.  Meticulous attention to detail, comprehensive live and TV clips, and extensive interview footage with all the band members make up the bulk of this loving look at Albany’s greatest…comedy rock band?  Rock comedy ensemble?  What are Blotto anyway?  This is a question that comes up during the movie several times.  Why didn’t the record labels get what Blotto were selling?

“We were not musical enough to be a musical band, and not funny enough to be a comedy act!” sums up guitarist and singer Broadway Blotto.  “We wanted fame with a living wage.”

“We weren’t rich and famous; we were solvent and well known,” responds guitarist and singer Bowtie Blotto.

Starting out in the early 1970s as the Star Spangled Washboard Band, three of the founding members of Blotto first began playing comedic bluegrass music.  They used costumes and aliases:  “Broadway Harris” for example (no relation to Bill & Emily).   The roots of Blotto were forming, though in a genre far removed from rock.  You’ll see early TV appearances, featuring Bowtie’s much bigger hair, and some music that was later rocked up into Blotto songs, such as “High School Honey”.  The Star Spangled Washboard Band earned great reviews and plenty of laughs.  Their knack for quick comedy was evident, as the chemistry between Sarge, Broadway and Bowtie blossomed.  It’s possible that I saw the Star Spangled Washboard Band on television back when I was a child, as they appeared on programs like the Mike Douglas Show, which was a TV staple in our house.

From the bass-playing hotspot of Ballston Spa, New York, came Cheese Blotto, a gifted musician who had a knack for groove.  The Washboard Band never launched into super-stardom though, as misfortune derailed a big New York City gig.  The band broke up in 1978, but of course, they couldn’t stay apart forever.  Working as a bartender, Cheese was eager to be on stage instead of serving drinks, so he called his old buddies for a jam.  They didn’t even have a name, but washboard was out and rock was in.

The band acquired singer Blanche Blotto, who started as a fan (a “Blottette”), and became a key member, singing lead on “Stop (In The Name of Love)”.  Finally, they found drummer Lee Harvey Blotto, who fit in like a glove from day one.  “You’ll know the songs better than they do,” he was assured.

Blotto wisely decided to record some demos.  “I Wanna Be A Lifeguard” became a hit, earning radio play in New York City, and crucial airtime on the fledgling MTV.  “Lifeguard” was in fact the 36th song ever played on MTV, on day one.  Did you know the video was filmed on a freezing cold April day?

Shortly after “Lifeguard”, Blotto secured a recording with legendary producer Bob Clearmountain, which yielded two songs in one overnight session.  Unsurprisingly, they sounded great.  Sadly, it never led to a major label deal as they hoped.  “I think Atlantic Records is going in a different direction than Blotto,” went one heartbreaking rejection.

The film is divided into six sections, each one covering an era of the band.   It is augmented by interviews with the people who were there at the time, including MTV VJ Martha Quinn to talk about “Lifeguard” burning up TV screens nationwide.  Buck Dharma, who shared their sense of humour, appears to discuss the hit “Metal Head”.  We even get to see outtakes from the innovative music video.   This movie is packed full of facts, fans, and perspectives from Albany New York, where they became local heroes.  Sadly, the talented Cheese Blotto passed away in 1999, and only TV footage remains of him.  Though we lost Sarge in 2019, plenty of interviews with him remain.  Past members Chevrolet, Hammerhead and Clyde Blotto also appear, fleshing out the documentation of the different lineup changes.

“Chevrolet Blotto, our newest Blotto, was auditioned mainly on the strength of his last name,” jokes Broadway in a vintage interview clip.

There are clips of unreleased songs such as “I Love You Calvin Klein”.  There are so many stories; hilarious stories.  Detailed stories about the creation of the songs and the album covers.  There are tragic stories of loss, and bizarre tales of Blotto haters.  Who could hate Blotto?

This is the only unanswered question that the film leaves open.  Who could hate Blotto?  Though the labels had no idea what to do with them, the fans kept coming back through theme nights, Blottoweens, reunion gigs and new members.  The band never really packed it in.  They moved on; got other work.  Lee Harvey even did double duty as a lawyer and a lifeguard.  But they never really stopped being Blotto.  As Blanche says, it’s always a part of them.

Though I laughed throughout the film, there are tears to be shed as well.  Both Cheese and Sarge went too soon, and it is clear that they are missed.  Each member of the band brought something to the table.  Sarge was not just a singer, but also an artist.  Cheese’s disco grooves were magically delicious, and his decision to go bald brought a new visual dimension to the band.  Their quick wits are on sharp display in the vintage footage.

I have always felt like the world needed more Blotto.  Their small treasure chest of tunes is easy to devour in a sitting or two.  Now, we finally have more Blotto, and a serious addition to the catalogue it is.  Hello! My Name is Blotto – The Movie! is a constantly entertaining deep dive on a band that we needed more of.  A band that the world needs to hear.  Anyone who likes music would enjoy this film, and maybe become a new fan, just a few decades late.

5/5 stars

 

#1178: Kitchener Blotto

RECORD STORE TALES #1178: Kitchener Blotto

There’s an old saying; I think it goes back to Aristotle.  It goes, “Never meet your heroes.”

I think we can prove that wrong, right here.

Quick recap:  I first heard Blotto’s song “Metal Head” as a young kid.  Not sure what to make of these guys, I filed it away as “interesting” but never had the opportunity to hear more through my younger life.  I even worked at a used CD store from 1994-2006.  You know how many used CDs by Blotto came in during that 12 year span?  Zero!  Not a one!  I started to wonder if they were a real band.  Fortunately, along came the internet, confirming that my memory wasn’t playing tricks on me.  Some of the core Blotto members first assembled in the early 1970s, as the Star Spangled Washboard Band.  They had albums and singles.  Yet, up here in Kitchener Ontario Canada, nobody I knew had the record, heard the record, or knew where to buy the record.  It was frustrating as hell, but I never forget the name “Blotto” nor the song “Metal Head”.  The music video was indelible.  The singer had charisma!  The band looked unique.  One guy was bald (a rarity in 80s rock bands) and one guy had glasses and wore a tie!?  What was with that?  In the 80s, we had Revenge of the Nerds and I couldn’t help but wonder what this band was about, because visually, that was what I was seeing!  A nerd with a guitar?  It made no sense to 13 year old me.

But I never forget.

Fast forward to 2018.  My pal Aaron and I had this summer ritual of hitting Toronto to go record shopping.  This trip almost never happened because Jen’s mom was dying of cancer and we only had so many weekends together left.  However, she ordered me:  “Mike, go with your friend.”  And so, first thing in the morning, we embarked.  The first store we hit was BMV and there it was:  Combo Akimbo by Blotto, featuring the song “Metal Head”.  Flip the record over.  There was the bald guy, and the guy with the glasses!  I snapped it up immediately.  It went under my arm and stayed there until checkout.  There was no question I was getting it.  The whole trip was documented on video, including this find.  In the video, I was delighted to find the guys all had “Blotto” names:  Sarge Blotto, Bowtie Blotto, Broadway Blotto, Cheese Blotto, and Lee Harvey Blotto too.  I got the gag, and all my hopes were confirmed when I dropped the needle on that record later that night.

Fast forward again.  We lost Jen’s mom, and I started writing again.  My Blotto reviews were spotted by drummer F. Lee Harvey Blotto himself, who contacted me in gratitude.  He even sent me a shirt, while defending their cover of “Stop! In the Name of Love” which I wrote slightly negatively about.  “What a cool guy,” I thought to myself.

I wore that Blotto shirt with pride until it pretty much wore out.  I also emailed F. Lee in 2019 when Sarge passed away from cancer.  What shitty disease it is.

I continued to listen to and love my Blotto albums over the years.  I purchased the Collected Works CD which has most of their studio material.  The rest of their discography eluded me, at least at prices that Jen won’t smite for me.  And finding Blotto, in the wild, in Ontario?  Not frequent, or I would have had an album sooner than 2018!

I’ve lost a lot of weight since then!

Fast forward again!  It is now 2025, and to my delight, I discovered that a Blotto documentary film was coming!  Hello! My Name Is Blotto – The Movie, directed by Rob “Bert Blotto” Lichter will premier April 12 at the Cohoes Music Hall.  I asked for any band member to come on my show Grab A Stack of Rock to talk about it.

A day or two later, F. Lee emailed.  “Why not!” he said, and offered the whole band and director Bert too.

And so we did the interview, and it was a lot of fun and hopefully gained the band a few new fans.  I know that among many of my regulars, particularly in Australia, it was their first time hearing and seeing Blotto.

What was really cool was the pre and post-show chat when we weren’t recording.  Bert was first to arrive in the virtual studio, and his passion for Blotto was only exceeded by his feelings of camaraderie with them.  We chatted a bit, and then Bowtie arrived.  He was curious about me, so I told him I was from about an hour west of Toronto in a place called Kitchener/Waterloo.

Without pause, Bowtie said “We played there as the Star Spangled Washboard Band in the early 1970s.  1975 or so.  We also played Guelph and Richmond Hill.”

My jaw must have dropped at that moment.  Guelph is pretty obscure even among Canadians.  And Bowtie pronounced it right, which most people don’t do on their first try.  He said that Broadway Blotto would remember.  I speculated that they might have played at the Coronet Club, not far down the street from me.  They were known for their regular-hours lunch menu, and strippers and rock bands at night.  That was the kind of place that Blotto would have played up here, as Bowtie and Broadway confirmed.

Also confirmed by F. Lee:  There are lots of Blotto live collections up on Spotify waiting to be streamed.  Lots more music for me to hear, right at my fingertips.

At the end of the show, the Blotto guys thanked me for my support over the years and said some very kind things about my writing.  I’ll tell you, there is nothing better than when someone whose art you admire, tells you that they also like what you do.

Broadway called us “kindred spirits” which I find very flattering, but this is where it gets really cool.

He asked me to choose my own “Blotto name”.

I thought about it, and I played with Hoser Blotto for a little bit.  I ultimately decided on “Kitchener Blotto”, because that really identifies me.  Maybe there are lots of fellow hosers who are Blotto fans, but I hope when Blotto hears the word Kitchener, they think of me.  And the strip club.

Thank you guys.

Don’t meet your heroes?  Pfft.  Choose your heroes wisely, I say.

Kitchener Blotto

 

 

Blotto Interview Outtake

As Blotto themselves know, from the making of their new documentary film Hello! My Name Is Blotto – The Movie, sometimes great stuff happens when the tape stops rolling!  That happened to me on Tuesday February 25, after finishing up my interview with the band.

During the pre-show chat, Bowtie Blotto told me that they had played my home town of Kitchener, as well as my dad’s city of Guelph.  And he asked Broadway Blotto what he remembered of those gigs.

Check out the funny story in the YouTube short below, and check out the full interview if you haven’t already!

GRAB A STACK OF ROCK With Mike and Blotto Episode 92:  Hello! My Name Is Blotto! The Interview

Blotto hit the sand on MTV with “I Wanna Be A Lifeguard”, being among the first 40 videos played on their first morning as a station.  Then came “Metal Head”, Metal For Breakfast, and a heck of a lot of gigs.  The core members were all named Blotto:  Sarge, Cheese, F Lee, Broadway and Bow Tie.  Sadly we lost Cheese and Sarge, but for this special interview, F Lee, Broadway and Bow Tie reunited with director Bert Blotto on Grab A Stack of Rock.  It’s a Blotto reunion, and a good time was had by all.

The subject is a new movie about to premier on April 12 at Cohoes Music Hall:  Hello!  My Name Is Blotto!  The Movie.  Director Rob “Bert Blotto” Lichter has carved this film from many hours of archives, like a sculptor cuts wood.  Join the Blotto guys and I, as we check out the movie trailer and hear firsthand stories from the band.  There are laughs a-plenty, some serious moments, and some fan geekery.  You’ll always hear about the one (hilarious) unreleased track that was never recorded.

It is clear that for Rob, this is a work of passion and pride, as well as hope.  Indeed, Blotto deserve a larger audience, for their music still rings true and makes us laugh.

Plus, Bow Tie does the “Dr. Bow” laugh from “Goodbye Mr. Bond” and if that isn’t worth the price of admission, I don’t know what is.

Video premieres at 7:00 PM Eastern.

Thursday February 27 at 7:00 P.M. E.S.T. / 8:00 P.M. Atlantic.   Enjoy on YouTube.

Hello! My Name Is Blotto! The Interview on Grab A Stack of Rock

GRAB A STACK OF ROCK With Mike and Blotto
Episode 92:  Hello! My Name Is Blotto! The Interview

Blotto hit the sand on MTV with “I Wanna Be A Lifeguard”, being among the first 40 videos played on their first morning as a station.  Then came “Metal Head”, Metal For Breakfast, and a heck of a lot of gigs.  The core members were all named Blotto:  Sarge, Cheese, F Lee, Broadway and Bow Tie.  Sadly we lost Cheese and Sarge, but for this special interview, F Lee, Broadway and Bow Tie reunited with director Bert Blotto on Grab A Stack of Rock.  It’s a Blotto reunion, and a good time was had by all.

The subject is a new movie about to premier on April 12 at Cohoes Music Hall:  Hello!  My Name Is Blotto!  The Movie.  Director Rob “Bert Blotto” Lichter has carved this film from many hours of archives, like a sculptor cuts wood.  Join the Blotto guys and I, as we check out the movie trailer and hear firsthand stories from the band.  There are laughs a-plenty, some serious moments, and some fan geekery.  You’ll always hear about the one (hilarious) unreleased track that was never recorded.

It is clear that for Rob, this is a work of passion and pride, as well as hope.  Indeed, Blotto deserve a larger audience, for their music still rings true and makes us laugh.

Plus, Bow Tie does the “Dr. Bow” laugh from “Goodbye Mr. Bond” and if that isn’t worth the price of admission, I don’t know what is.

Video premieres at 7:00 PM Eastern.

Thursday February 27 at 7:00 P.M. E.S.T. / 8:00 P.M. Atlantic.   Enjoy on YouTube.

 

Show notes

Rob Lichter’s Hello! My Name Is Blotto – The Movie! Is set to premiere at Cohoes Music Hall on Saturday, April 12.  The film spans the origins of the band members starting as The Star-Spangled Washboard Band in the 1970’s, their evolution to Blotto and heyday in the 1980’s, and their long afterlife up to the present.

This film is the brainchild of Rob Lichter, aka Bert Blotto, a multimedia expert and longtime friend of Blotto. 25 years of footage and interviews plus archives going back to 1972!  Why a documentary, and why now in 2025?  Whose idea was it to create a film?  How did this evolve?

Is the film done, edited, finished, ready to roll?

Obviously MTV was important to the success of the band, having been one of the first 40 videos played on the station.  MuchMusic in Canada also played a lot of Blotto and I’m wondering what your career was like in Canada.

What were you guys thinking, making music videos before there even was an MTV?

What was that feeling like, seeing your music video on national TV?

Did the Metal For Breakfast compilation album bring “Metal Head” to another level?

When prepping this interview, a friend asked me if Buck Dharma from BOC was on Metalhead and I confirmed.  How did you get that to happen?

“Video 45” on VHS from Sony with three videos of Blotto songs that also received wide exposure from airplay on MTV, including “Metalhead,” with Donald “Buck Dharma” Roeser from Blue Öyster Cult on lead guitar.”  How did this happen?

I was struck by the one quote in the trailer about how some people thought Blotto was making fun of the music they liked.  I felt the same way!  I didn’t know how to take this band.  There was a bald guy and a guy with a tie and glasses!  They did look like they were “taking the piss” as the English say.

Each guy in the band had a different look.  How did you approach Blotto as a visual band?

Were there any musical genres off limits to you guys?

What about musicianship?  Obviously you guys could play.  Were there any ideas you had that were beyond your abilities?

I’ve always wondered who is singing lead on HSH?  Bowtie?

Any plays for DVD or Blu?  Or even a soundtrack album?