A sequel to #1072:  Darkne$$ Be My Friend

RECORD STORE TALES #1072.5: The Final, Final Word on Married and Heels

Like a bad penny, reminders of this person keep popping up in my life.  Her fans like her pictures, and I’ve used them as thumbnail images on Edie Van Heelin’ episodes when appropriate.   I often see Edie and Married and Heels posts pop up in my top ten for hits.

Recently, one of her real-life running associates read one of these Edie stories (Winter Vacation to be specific) .  He or she dropped a comment, with Married and Heels’ real name.  I only knew her as Joelle.  I deleted the real name…but could not resist Googling her.

And now, I’m starting to understand.

She called me her “always and forever” friend, and she said we were the “real deal”.  Now I see why that was not and never would be the case.

I was never going to be Joelle’s real friend.  She was never going to mix any aspect of her “fan world” with her real life.  I’ve seen her social media.  It’s very vanilla.  It’s very church.  She leads a double life.  In one, she’s a housewife and a church deacon, raising two kids and running marathons for charity.  In the other life, she’s flirting with hundreds of men, showing her naked body for money, wearing sexy clothing.  There is no sexy clothing in her vanilla life.  She’s two different people.

There’s Joelle, the person I knew.

Then there’s *****, the church woman with not a shred of sexy clothing or a hint of her life as a high-heels collector and model.

She wanted me to be friends with Joelle.  She didn’t want me anywhere near *****.   Her double life led her to this quandary.  I was so very tired of Joelle, the daily photos, the hustling for money, the flirting with fans.  I didn’t like it.  I could only last eight months in that world.  I wanted to know *****, not Joelle.  I’m not even sure that I liked Joelle.  Not after eight months of watching her hustle her fans for thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars.  I did the math once and figured out approximately what she’s making from OnlyFans.  It’s not a bad side hustle.  But that world is not for me.  Those people are not for me.

In the end, I hated Joelle.  I wanted to be friends with *****.  I liked the real person behind Joelle.  I wanted to see more of her.

Don’t forget, we chatted in real life on Instagram.  I sent her mail with a Grab A Stack tote bag and a custom Lego figure from Harrison.  These are things real friends do, not fans.  I know she was terrified of her church finding out about her secret life.  I would be too.  We could have been real friends, but the myopic husband refused to allow it.  She said she had no “male” friends, which raises huge red flags about the husband.  The husband would never allow one of her “fans” to have access to the real her.  Not to *****.  Only to Joelle.

I guarantee that the husband made her throw away the Grab A Stack tote bag, which was expensive.  There is no way he wanted that to be seen.  No way he wanted anyone to connect ***** to Grab A Stack of Rock.

Imagine if I was her Facebook friend, as I wanted to be.  The husband would be terrified that their family and friends would wonder who this guy was on *****’s friends list.  A male friend?  I would have raised eyebrows.  People might have clicked me, and found all of *****’s appearances on Grab A Stack of Rock.  That simply could not happen to him.  In their eyes, that road led to excommunication from their church.

We didn’t have to be friends on social media for us to survive.  We could have communicated by email, by text, or by private message on any platform other than OnlyFans.  The husband would not allow it, and I place the blame squarely upon him for that.

As for *****, I blame her for claiming our friendship was “the real deal” and “always and forever”, when she knew that would never be the case.  She was the one who brought up coming to Kincardine, Ontario to hang out with me.  The only friendship she wanted was one in the fan world.  She didn’t want a friend in her vanilla life.  She wanted one in her fan world only.  After eight months, that could not be me anymore.  I hated every day on that site.  The gross comments from her fans, the stripping.  That is not the kind of friendship I wanted.  If she had let me leave OnlyFans and continue our friendship any other way, we might still be friends today.

Then again, we might not.  I’m starting to think that I never really knew *****.  From what I’ve seen on her social media, she never told me much about her real life at all.  She wanted it separate too.  She led me on.  She lied to me.  And I believed it.  In my naivete, I truly believed we were friends.  I wasn’t her friend.  I was just her favourite fan.  If I ever showed up at the door of her real life, I would be kicked to the curb like a mangy dog.

There were clues.  Hints that I was just a fan.  Hustling me to buy photo sets, or to buy live streams.  Things you wouldn’t do to a real friend.

Whoever the “Nevada Runner” was that left the comment with her real name, I think I owe you a thanks.  Checking out her socials proved to me that there was never a future in that friendship.  There was no room for a strange man from Canada.  The only room for me in her life was in her secret life.  Regardless of her meeting my friends and talking to everyone in my life on Grab A Stack of Rock, the reverse would never be true.  It was an uneven “friendship”, if it was ever that at all.

While I will never forget what she did to me…I forgive her.  *****, I forgive you.

I forgive you.