movember

#609: Movember

GETTING MORE TALE #609: Movember

My first real job at age 17 was packing groceries.  I worked at Zehrs, the big grocery store in town.  It was hard work, but a good job to have.  They paid well and you could make a career there if you wanted to.  Several people had been there 10 years or more, had security, and were making decent money.  The neat thing for me was the Zehrs store was in the same mall that I later worked in at the first Record Store!  My dad worked there at the bank.  Best friend Bob worked in the Zehrs bakery.  The mall was like a second home.

The grocery store had a dress code.  No running shoes, just plain black shoes.  No jeans, just brown pants and white shirts.  A brown clip-on tie and apron with box cutter in the pocket was issued to us upon hiring.

Facial hair grooming was strict.  I was there when one guy showed up looking unsatisfactory, was written up and sent home to shave.  No stubble allowed.  No beards, no sideburns.

The only facial hair we were allowed to have was…

A moustache.

So many guys there had moustaches.  The guy who trained me had one.  One of the managers, and even a few of the guys my age had moustaches.  I am not a fan of moustaches, but given the lack of options, one day I showed up with a stupid little blonde growth on my upper lip.

“Is that…are you…growing a moustache?” asked the girl I liked.  Her name was Kathleen.  Kathleen Fitzpatrick.  She was really nice, but every guy there liked her.  Guys with higher seniority would work on her lane, kicking me off.  They’d stick me with one of the older ladies.  Everybody preferred to pack for Kathleen and I was low man on the totem pole.

I wore that moustache once.  One day.  Truth be told, I never felt comfortable in a moustache, but imagine this scenario:  what would have happened if Kathleen liked my moustache?  How history could have turned out differently.  I could have been a moustache guy all this time!  I’d probably drive a Camero and listen to a lot of April Wine.

I’m glad it didn’t go that way.  Wherever you are Kathleen, I think I owe you a debt of gratitude.  Maybe.

MOVEMBER REVIEW: The Guys – “The Stache Is Back In Town”

THE GUYS – “The Stache Is Back In Town” (2013)

The month of Movember is upon us again, men allowing fur to gather on their upper lips. Some say it is to raise money for testicular cancer research. Some say it is a rite of passage. One way or another, Movember is now intertwined with rock and roll. Long gone faces such as Frank Zappa, John Bonham, and Phil Lynott are remembered fondly. The Guys want us all to remember together.

It’s not the first time. A couple years ago, The Guys brought out the excellent “Man With A Moustache”. It’s a catchy 80’s sounding synthpop-rock tune. It’s hard not to smile at its catchy chorus and wired guitars. It’s irresistible actually. Having sampled their tunage extensively on their website, I can’t say it’s indicative of their sound in general, which varies wildly all over the 1980’s. But you have to be the judge yourself of this talented creative force.

But ya know…The Guys have something new out this Movember.  This kind of thing is categorized as a “parody”; I don’t consider it a parody.  I consider it a tribute.  I consider it a testament to Phil Lynott and moustaches everywhere from coast to coast of this glorious nation and beyond.  That song is “The Stache Is Back In Town”.  I hope I don’t need to explain this to you, but it’s a cover of “The Boys Are Back In Town” off Jailbreak, by Thin Lizzy.  

You can hear it for yourselves, but I think The Guys did a damn fine job of this song.  They even call out one of the greatest ‘staches of all television history:  Thomas Magnum.  That’s right.  Thomas Magnus aka Magnum P.I. aka Tom Selleck!  Lead vocalist Thomas Love (known to his friends as Marko Fox) explained it to me:  “Grooming is essential for success…as a moustache can make anything better. It is not a coincidence that both Thomas Magnum and Jonathan Higgins both had killer staches.”

You can’t argue with that.

I hope “The Stache Is Back In Town” remains a Movember classic for years to come.  While I did not participate in Movember this year, you can support the cause here:  http://ca.movember.com/  Men’s health is an important issue, but Movember lets us take it a little more lightly.  The Guys have the Movember spirit, and I applaud them.

6/5 stars

The Guys:  THOMAS LOVE – Vocals, Drums, Percussion & Keys JOHNNY KIKX – Vocals, Guitars & Keys BARRY FUSE – Guitars, Bass, Keys & Vocals RICK DANIELS – Bass, Keys & Vocals

Guess What Just Grew Back Again
A Hairy Lip That’s Made To Win
Went From Being A 2 To A 10
Just Because It’s Movember

Thomas Magnum Posters On Every Girl’s Wall
All You Babyfaced Boys Get Ready To Fall
I Hear The Rock That Is Our Party Call
So Let The Mo’ Ruckus Begin

THE STACHE IS BACK IN TOWN

Spread The Aftershave Around
Turn Up That Hairy Sound

No Shaving Cream To Be Found…

You Know That Chick That Turned You Down A Lot?
Every Night She Be Laughing, Blowing You Off
But Now Man She Be Staring, She Be Red Hot
The Hairy Lip’s Got Her Steaming

The Radio’s Playing Our Favourite Song
Called “Man With A Moustache” And It Won’t Be Long
Till All The Ladies Will Want Me To Take Them Home
They Want To Watch Me Shave It In

THE STACHE IS BACK IN TOWN

THE STACHE IS BACK IN TOWN AGAIN!

Mo’ bros lookin’ like John Oates…

MOVEMBER: Top Five Canadian moustaches of Rock!

Idea stolen from Every Record, with a Canadian twist:

For MOVEMBER, the top five Canadian moustaches of rock!  (I didn’t use John Albini from Lee Aaron’s band since Every Record did.)

5. Neil Peart (Rush)

4. Gordon Lightfoot

3. Dave Myles & Pye Dubois (Max Webster)

2. Burton Cummings

1. Pretty much all of Helix

(moustaches l-r: Mike Uzelac, Brian Vollmer, Paul Hackman)