Part 41: Klassic Kwotes VI!

Part 41 already?  Holy crap!  Thanks for tagging along, enjoy the classic quotes!

1.  When you opened up in the morning, you’d show up early, unlock, and disarm the alarm system.  On a regular basis, I would turn around to find someone had followed me in.  “Are you open?”  Yeah, because everyone opens up at 9:15, jackass.

2. “Are you guys open tomorrow?”  Sure, not an odd question, right?  Well, it is when it’s December the fucking 24th!  We’re a record store, not Tim Horton’s!

3. “Do you have any Walter Ostenek?”  Said to me by…Walter Ostenek.

4. “Hey, I know you!  You’re the one that won those Juno awards!”  Said by me, to Walter Ostenek.  His deadpan response?  “They were Grammies”.

5. “I can’t wear shoes, I have a foot disease.”  EEWWW?  Said to me by a DJ who ignoreded our annual summertime “No Shirt, No Shoes, No CDs!” sign.

6. “Because highschool is free, and Jerry Springer does not work here, please wear a shirt in the store.”  A sign that Trevor made!

7. “Who would win in a fight?  Darth Vader, or Anakin Skywalker?”  A very difficult question, posed by one of my regular customer’s kids.  The kid quizzed me on Star Wars every time he was in the store.  It was awesome.

8. “Where do you keep the GOOD music?”  Another puzzling question, but this time by someone who was old enough to know better.

9. ” My name’s Winston.”  Said to me by a guy who’s driver’s licence clearly said “Eggbert”.

DISCLAIMER – Do not read on, if you are weak of stomach.

10. “Sometimes, I shit in the shower.  It’s easy.  You just shit in your hand, drop the poo in the toilet bowl, and since you’re in the shower already you just wash your hands.”  –– Joe Big Nose.  True story.

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2 comments

  1. I’m gonna have to try this poop in the shower thing. It seems like a perfectly ordinary thing to do and solves the conundrum of “I just got out of the shower, but now I have to poop.”

    Like

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