Part 77: Psycho-Circus

RECORD STORE TALES Part 77:  Psycho-Circus

If you think back to the late 90’s, the hype surrounding Kiss was enormous.  They’d just completed their successful reunion tour to rave reviews, what was left but an album?

I was excited too, but not as excited as “Kiss Man”….

I don’t remember his name and I never heard from him again, so heartbroken was he.  My staff had a habit of telling annoying customers, “Hey, if you really want to talk about Kiss (or insert-band-name-here) then you should call back and talk to this guy Mike.  He loves Kiss.”

One time, they told a lady I was interested in buying her original Whitesnake cover art painting.  Which I wasn’t.  Anyway, back to Kiss.

This guy had come in talking about Kiss with somebody, and they told him to call me.  So he did.  With two of my bosses standing in front of me, I blindly anwered the phone.  To the best of my recollection, this was the conversation.  Imagine two of my bosses standing in front me alternating between glances and glares.

Kiss Man:  Hi, is this Mike?

Mike:  Yes, speaking.

Kiss Man:  Oh hi, I was speaking with (insert whoever’s name it was) a couple days ago, and they told me you were a massive Kiss fan?

Mike:  Yes, yes I am…

Kiss Man:  Like really big Kiss fan?  Like they said you have the dolls.

Mike:  Yes…I do have some action figures… (the bosses both looking at me now)

Kiss Man:  Are they the vintage ones?

Mike:  Uh, pardon?

Kiss Man:  Are they the vintage ones from the 1970’s.

Mike:  Oh, no.  They’re just the MacFarlanes.

Kiss Man:  Cool, still.  So do you know anything about the new Kiss album coming out called Psycho-Circus?

Mike:  (thinking he was now asking when it was out, how much we’ll be selling it for, etc)  Well, it’s out in a couple weeks, and there’s some kind of special edition cover, and we’ll be trying to get that one in. 

Kiss Man:  So how many times did you see them live?

Mike:  Uhh, just once…I don’t really go to a lot of concerts…

Kiss Man:  Just once?  Like on this tour?

Mike:  No…just once.  I wanted to see them on the Revenge tour though.

Kiss Man:  Have you heard the new single, “Psycho Circus”?

Mike:  No, I haven’t yet.

Kiss Man:  On Q107?  No?

Mike:  No, I…

Kiss Man:  Wow, and they said you were a big Kiss fan.

That one hurt, admittedly.

I eventually brought the conversation to a close, got shit for taking a “personal” call, explained to my bosses that I really didn’t have a clue who that was, and then later interrogated the staff to find up who set me up with the Space Ace.

When I found out, they were disappointed that the conversation didn’t go well, as if they were trying to set with up with a new buddy.  “He’s probably really sad now,” they said.

“Yeah.  He’s probably never going to come back into the store again, because of you,” they helpfully added.

Yeah, well.  It was a lose-lose situation and I definitely lost that time!


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