Part 86: Captain Gold Shirt

One time, we almost got sued for wrecking some guy’s golden shirt.

We had this annoying sidewalk sign.  Everybody hated it.  When the wind caught hold of it, it would always fall over, if not go for a short jog.  Some days I didn’t bother putting it out, I hated it so much.

I never hated it more, however, than the day that idiot in the golden shirt walked past.  Our sign took up half the sidewalk (another reason I hated it) and this idiot wasn’t looking where he was going and sideswiped it.  I knew right away because I heard the sign crash.  I looked outside and I saw this guy stumbling next to the downed sidewalk sign.

“Oh shit.” I concluded.

One of the girls immediately ran out to see if the guy was OK.  Yeah, he was fine.  Not a scratch.  But his golden shirt was torn!  Oh my God!

He threatened to sue!  He wanted the owners name and contact information!  We provided the requested data.

“You’re going to get a call from my lawyer about this, you wait and see,” said Captain Gold Shirt.

Pffftr.  Gold shirt?  Who do you think you are, James T. Kirk or something?



  1. Haha just like Captain Sweatpants on Big Bang Theory! I wonder if they know each other.

    Where do you even buy a gold shirt? Seriously.

    Also: I just KNEW IT that Kirk was a Maiden fan! “Beam me up the irons, Scotty!”


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