star trek

REVIEW: Leonard Nimoy & William Shatner – Spaced Out! (1997)

LEONARD NIMOY & WILLIAM SHATNER – Spaced Out! (1997 MCA)

Although William Shatner has enjoyed a slightly more high profile musical career, it was actually Leonard Nimoy who struck musical gold first!  Nimoy’s debut solo album Mr. Spock’s Music from Outer Space beat Shatner’s The Transformed Man by a year, in 1967.  Both records are considered novelties, yet were followed up by even more albums.  Shatner’s last, Ponder the Mystery (2013) featured Steve Vai and Rick Wakeman among many others.

In 1997, the Space Channel assembled a fantastic greatest hits compilation of both Starfleet officers’ best.  In 2017, Sir Aaron the Surprising sent me a sealed copy on a lark.  It was meant to be a gag gift, but little did Aaron know I’d actually wanted this CD for a long time!  After all, Shatner’s “Mr. Tambourine Man” has long been a hilariously bad favourite, and Nimoy’s “Ballad of Bilbo Baggins” truly is a hoot.  Spaced Out! is a blast-off!

Shatner’s material tends to the so-bad-it’s-funny side of things.  His spoken-word vocals definitely re-imagine many classic songs, including “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”.  Nimoy, meanwhile, uses his baritone to sing charming ditties like “I Walk the Line” and “If I Was a Carpenter”.  In character as Spock, “Highly Illogical” is highly fun.  Nimoy also had a knack for ballads, and perhaps just missed out on a career as a crooner?

Less successful, Leonard goes country on “Ruby Don’t Take Your Love to Town”.  He may have been able to play cowboys in movies, but playing one in music is much more difficult.  Nimoy’s music leaned more to the mainstream, while Shatner’s was experimental, bombastic beat poetry to music.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.  “It Was A Very Good Year” is highly questionable.

Top Star Trek geek moment:  Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991) took its name from a line in Shakespear’s Hamlet (1602).  In Shatner’s musical recording, “Hamlet”, he actually recites that line a couple decades before the movie was made.

Who would fardels bear
To grunt and sweat under a weary life
But that the dread of something after death
The undiscovered country from whose bourn
No traveler returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action

For fans, it’s ultimately cool to have a copy of Shatner reciting those lines.

Let’s not deceive anyone, Spaced Out! is a novelty.   You will chuckle and cringe more frequently than you will tap your toes to the music.  Trekkies/Trekkers owe it to themselves to add this to the collection to expand their own universes.

2/5 stars

 

Advertisements

TV REVIEW: Star Trek: Discovery – Season 1, Chapter Two (2018)

For Season 1, Chapter One, click here.

STAR TREK: Discovery Season 1, Chapter Two  (episodes 10-15 CBS All Access 2018)

The brave and sometimes lost crew of the USS Discovery have completed their first season, a surprising journey that took them into the most exciting corners of Trek lore such as the Mirror Universe and the Klingon homeworld.  Some fans who were dissatisfied with the first half of season 1 for “not being Trek enough” have been silenced and satisfied by the second part, which concluded on February 11 2018.  Others, of course, will never be happy as mixed reviews continue to indicate.

The writers of Discovery revealed that they wrote the season backwards, starting with where they knew they wanted it to end. They wanted to show the crew of Discovery coming together like a Starfleet crew should. What we didn’t know at the beginning, but do now, is that everything that seemed strange or un-Trek-like happened for a reason. Now we are in a place that feels much more familiar.

The key to the whole bait-and-switch of Discovery’s dark mood was Jason Isaacs, as Captain Gabriel Lorca. Now we know! Every action Lorca took from his very first appearance was not what it seemed. Lorca was not the Lorca we thought we knew, and it all came together so very satisfyingly. Isaacs is a genius, simply put. He was one of the few actors who knew the truth about Lorca, and with 20/20 hindsight, he infused his performance with clue after clue. Fans picked up on these clues and some figured it out early on. Gabriel Lorca, captain of the USS Discovery, [SPOILER] was actually from the evil Mirror Universe all along! Every move he made was a step to getting back “home”. His manipulation of Michael Burnham (Sonequa Martin-Green) was always strange. Now we know it’s because she and Lorca had an unexpected connection in the Mirror Universe. Fate was a major theme of this season, though we didn’t know for sure it until about 10 episodes in!

Jason Isaacs as Gabriel Lorca

The Mirror Universe is a treasured Star Trek location, used sparingly across the shows. It first appeared once in the original series, famous for its evil bearded Spock. We never saw it again until Deep Space Nine in the 90s. It returned for a two-part Enterprise in the 2000s, but this is by far the deepest exploration of the Mirror Universe yet. And that means that some characters that were killed off might still have living Mirror Universe counterparts, [SPOILER] like Michelle Yoeh’s Phillipa Georgiou….

The second half of the season even featured an episode directed by Jonathan Frakes (William Riker). He directed some of the best Trek episodes and movies past, such as First Contact. It was no surprise that Frakes did the best Discovery episode, too (episode 10, “Despite Yourself”).

The writers fixed one major complaint with the show, and that was the dreadfully slow Klingon dialogue. Starting with the second half of the season, all the awkward momentum-killing Klingon language scenes ended. Only a few relevant scenes were presented in Klingon during the second half, usually between the awesome Mary Chieffo (L’Rell) and Ash Tyler (Shazad Latif).

Speaking of Shazad Latif, the big fan theory from the first half of the season turned out to be true.* Latif was indeed secretly playing two characters: Tyler, and the Klingon Voq. Or not? Though the process isn’t clear, Tyler and Voq were merged into a single individual.  As a Klingon sleeper agent, Tyler’s role was being set up from the first episode. It all came to a head when L’Rell attempted to activate his inner Voq, which failed and led to a tragic Discovery death.

Wilson Cruz as Dr. Culber

The death of [SPOILER] Dr. Culber (Wilson Cruz) was, without question, the most heart wrenching death scene in Star Trek since Mr. Spock himself. Culber was set up as one of the few characters in a long term relationship. The love between Culber and his husband Lt. Stamets (Anthony Rapp) made the pair early fan favourites. Cruz’s Hugh Culber was the character that everybody liked. He was smart, too – Dr. Culber was suspicious of Captain Lorca’s true goals before anyone else was. His killing was shocking and unexpected, especially in its brutality. A followup scene, of Stamets cradling the dead Culber in his arms, stung the senses even more. Discovery raised the stakes by making you care about this pair, only to permanently separate Stamets from his one true love. It was brilliantly written and portrayed.

As the season gradually moved towards its conclusion, the crew bonded in a way that we wanted to see from the start: working as a team, caring about each other, under a charismatic commander. Doug Jones’ Saru has grown into a remarkable leader. Like Spock before him, his alien heritage shades his personality, all under the expert hands of Doug Jones. Mary Wiseman’s adorable Cadet Tilly also demonstrated growth and even earned a promotion to ensign. She proved herself a serious asset this season, with a bright future. All the characters that we were indifferent to in the beginning are beginning to move into our hearts…or are dead!  The darkness of the crew’s mirror selves was the crucible through which they trekked to become who they are now.  Most importantly, Michael Burnham went through hell and back to find the redemption that once seemed impossible.

Doug Jones as the Kelpian first official Saru

The show still has issues. It is, perhaps, a bit too eager to be “modern” with graphic deaths, edgy language, fight scenes and nudity. That feels very un-Trek, but then again, over 50 years have passed since the Enterprise first went to warp.  A lot of culture and history went down over those 50 years.

And speaking of the Enterprise, fans always had questions. Since Discovery takes place 10 years before Captain Kirk, is the Enterprise out there with Pike as its captain? Why does the technology of Discovery seem so different from the classic ship? These questions are beginning to be answered. A huge [SPOILER] teaser for next season revealed the original USS Enterprise herself, NCC-1701, commanded by Captain Pike, and accompanied by the original Alexander Courage 1966 theme music. Holy shit people – this just got real!

James Frain as Sarek

What will happen next? Jason Isaacs’ Lorca is dead and it seems highly unlikely we’ll ever see him again, meaning one of the big stars of the show is gone. Will they add another star to the cast? Will the writers continue to bring back the awesome Michelle Yeoh, who truly shined as her own evil counterpart? And who will we meet on the Enterprise? It’s too soon to meet Kirk, and the writers have said we will not see Spock on screen. But Christopher Pike? That seems possible. It would be cool to see Bruce Greenwood reprise the role from the films, but so far they have avoided any crossover with the movies. Sarek was re-cast as James Frain, for example.

Let’s not, however, get too caught up in our expectations and desires. The writers of Discovery answered early fan complaints by saying “wait and see”. By the end of the season, they proved they had a better handle on Trek than naysayers assumed. We know that they want the show to get closer and closer to the classic era as they progress. This is encouraging. What we have seen so far is enough to keep us watching again next season.

Engage.

4/5 stars

 

 

*  It was a clever ruse.  Shazad Latif was credited as Tyler, while Javid Iqbal was credited as Voq.  Sleuthing fans pieced together that Javid Iqbal had no other acting credits to his name, while Latif once went by the name of Iqbal.  Fans correctly predicted that Tyler and Voq were the same character.  “Javid Iqbal” was actually the name of Latif’s late father.  He chose the alias as a tribute.

 

TV REVIEW: Star Trek: Discovery – Season 1, Chapter One (2017)

STAR TREK: Discovery Season 1, Chapter One (episodes 1-9 CBS All Access 2017)

The difficulty in adapting Star Trek to a new generation, while still being commercial enough for 2017’s television screens is enormous.  Creator Gene Roddenberry had rules he wanted adhered to within the Star Trek universe.  Perhaps most difficult was his “no conflict” mandate.  Roddenberry reasoned that when humanity reaches the technology in Star Trek’s future, there will  no longer be need for Earthly conflict.  Food replicators mean nobody will go hungry.  Warp drive means infinite access to resources.   Antimatter provides unlimited energy.  All Earth’s problems are solved.  Exploration is the new adventure.  This was true of the original Star Trek in 1966, and Star Trek: The Next Generation in 1987.

After Roddenberry died in 1991, Star Trek’s new “Great Bird” Rick Berman introduced conflict in clever ways, side-stepping Roddenberry’s mandate.  For dramatic purposes, 1993’s Star Trek: Deep Space Nine was set on an alien space station on the frontier.  It was run by a mixture of humans and aliens, and hosted a virtual space city of diverse travellers and residents.  Then Star Trek: Voyager broke the mold again in 1995.  A starship’s bridge was the main setting once again, but this time they were stranded on the other side of the galaxy with a crew made up of Starfleet officers and Maquis rebels.  The last Star Trek series under Berman’s control, 2001’s Enterprise, was a prequel set 100 years before Captain Kirk.  The Federation, Star Trek’s peaceful governing body, did not yet exist.  It was a transitional period between the Third World War and the familiar Star Trek we remember.

The first five

Over the past 50 years, Star Trek has been popular, but was surpassed by other franchises in financial success.  Star Wars and the Marvel universe both dwarf Star Trek today.  Some poor theatrical movies, such as Star Trek: Generations (film #7, 1994) and Star Trek: Nemesis (#10, 2002) did not help.  By this time, Star Trek’s continuity had become so huge and entangled that writers struggled to come up with new ideas that a) hadn’t already been done, and b) didn’t contradict established Trek history.

JJ Abrams wisely rebooted Star Trek in 2009 by creating an alternate timeline.  Mr. Spock (Leonard Nimoy) was thrust back in time with a Romulan named Nero (Eric Bana), triggering a series of events (including the premature death of Captain Kirk’s father, George Kirk) that re-wrote Star Trek history.  This allowed a clean slate based on the original classic trio of Star Trek:  Kirk, Spock and McCoy.  Largely, it worked.  Star Trek (film #11, 2009) did the trick.  2013’s Star Trek Into Darkness (film #12) tried again by re-doing Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan in this new timeline.  That was less successful.  Re-doing the gimmick of destroying the Enterprise in 2016’s Star Trek: Beyond (film #13) was far too soon and really seemed to derail the series.  It was the third destruction of the Enterprise on screen and it hadn’t been earned yet.

JJ Abrams and crew

The JJ Abrams universe is continuing with the 14th Star Trek film, somehow resurrecting George Kirk (Chris Hemsworth) and perhaps undoing that timeline completely.  We shall see.

Meanwhile and with less fanfare, Star Trek has returned to television.  This seems an even bigger challenge than making a good Star Trek movie.  After all, television is nothing like it used to be.  Reality shows, serialised dramas, and sitcoms own TV now.  Attention spans are shortened and cerebral tales are fewer to be seen.  What does a new Star Trek look like, and what would the story be?

Fans haven’t been shy about what they wanted to see in a new Star Trek TV show.  Most would have loved a series set far into the future, as far beyond Picard as Picard was from Kirk.  But Star Trek isn’t being made for fans.  Today it needs to appeal to anyone and everyone, and simply not alienate too many fans.  So instead, we are getting another “prequel” series set before the time of Kirk.  10 years prior, in fact, and set in the original universe.  And as an added twist, the main character was to be Spock’s never-before-mentioned…adopted sister?

Sonequa Martin-Green as Michael Burnham

Fans shit the bed.

Star Trek: Discovery has faced (and continues to face) a lot of scepticism.  After all, this is hallowed ground.  You can’t just piss all over the history.  50 years of Trek, and we’ve never heard of Michael Burnham, the girl raised as a step-sister to Spock?

Fear not.  Trek lore has not only been respected in Discovery, but enhanced.  The Vulcan-centric episode “Lethe” is an emotional backstory to who Michael Burnham is, and even colours in the blanks behind Spock and Sarek’s estrangement.  It does so in such a way to soften even the hardest fan’s heart.

Burnham’s parents were killed in a Klingon attack, and she was raised on Vulcan by Sarek (James Frain) as his ward.  She was trained in the Vulcan ways, with logic as a tool to govern her human emotions.  This background also sets up her fall from grace.  Burnham is not the typical Star Trek main character.  In the series pilot “The Vulcan Hello”, first officer Burnham commits mutiny on board the USS Shenzhou.  Her actions in the first two episodes (including “Battle at Binary Stars”) set up the balance of the series:  war with the Klingons!

Being a mutineer making some pretty obvious blunders in spite of her supposed excellent Starfleet record, Burnham is a difficult character to like.  Fortunately, actor Sonequa Martin-Green was the right one for the job.  Formerly as Sasha on The Walking Dead, she was little more than a background character.  Martin-Green was largely untested, until now.  She has done an excellent job in her first half-season on Discovery.  She remained cold and difficult to like, until finally thawing a little bit in episode 4, “The Butcher’s Knife Cares Not for the Lamb’s Cry”.

Michelle Yeoh as Captain Georgiou

Being difficult to like is intentional.  Discovery is not like other series.  It begins on the USS Shenzhou, captained by Phillipa Georgiou (Michelle Yeoh), a cool new ship with its bridge under the saucer section instead of on top.  Georgiou and first officer Burnham begin as scientists and explorers, but Burnham’s mutiny creates war and a new reality.  Episode 3, “Context is for Kings”, introduces Burnham’s new surroundings:  The USS Discovery NCC-1031.  The titular ship doesn’t even appear in the first two episodes.

The USS Discovery’s on-screen design is based on old concept paintings by Ralph McQuarrie, for the first Star Trek movie.  You’ll notice its Star Destroyer-like main hull.  McQuarrie designed all the ships in Star Wars too, and because this starship design is decades old, the USS Discovery fits the classic starfleet look.  This ship is bad ass.  The USS Enterprise, under command of Christopher Pike, is out there somewhere, but the Discovery is fresh off the line.  It has all the latest gadgets.  It’s a black project and a testbed for new technology, now needed desperately.  Over 8000 Federation citizens have died in the war in the first six months.  Defeat is not an option, and Discovery is rolled out to unleash war-winning technological breakthroughs.  It’s the Manhattan Project of the 2250s.  Top secret, high level shit going on here, folks.

Jason Isaacs as Captain Lorca

How did Burnham, a mutineer, get such a cool assignment?  Well, first off, it might not seem that cool once you see what Discovery is up to.  And second, her captain, Gabriel Lorca (Jason Isaacs) is not a typical Starfleet captain.  He is single-minded and obsessed: victory is the only option and he will stop at nothing, no matter how unethical, to win the war.  Lorca is damaged goods, but he’s also very smart and because it’s a black project, he manages to operate under the radar with minimal oversight.  Bottom line:  He thinks Burnham will be useful, and so he uses her.  If you are stationed on Discovery, that means Lorca thinks you’re useful.

This setup enables some very different Trek dynamics.  Do you think the crew of the Discovery are happy to have a mutineer on board?  One who was responsible for the war in the first place?  Highly unlikely.  First officer Saru (Doug Jones) is one of her old shipmates from the Shenzhou.  Saru, a Kelpian, comes from a planet where his species are only food for other species.  Kelpians can sense the coming of death, and let’s just say that Saru’s spidey-senses start tingling when Burnham pops back in his life.  Doug Jones embodies the alien Saru perfectly, who is the series’ placeholder for a Spock or Data.  In a cool touch, Jones’ height is made abnormally alien with a pair of hooves.

Anthony Rapp as Lt. Stamets

Michael Burnham begins with only one friend on board, her geeky roommate Cadet Tilly (Mary Wiseman).  Tilly warms up to the audience when she confides that she’s going to be a captain one day, but she has a lot to learn first.  Burnham and Tilly work in engineering under Lt. Paul Stamets (Anthony Rapp), Star Trek’s first openly gay main character (not counting John Cho’s Mr. Sulu, based on George Takei’s original Sulu who wasn’t written or portrayed as gay).

I want to pause here and say something that probably doesn’t need to be said.  It took 50 years for Star Trek to finally have an openly gay main character.  Star Trek has been so far ahead in many respects over the years, but way behind in this one way.  And I love it.  It’s been done so well.  As an added bonus, Stamets’ relationship with Dr. Culber (Wilson Cruz) is critical to the overall plot of the first season.  Without getting too much into spoilers, they are both put into impossible situations because they care about each other.  Rapp and Cruz have turned their characters into favourites, and it’s way overdue and I love it.

Rapp’s Stamets could be the show’s most important character.  He was essentially drafted to serve aboard the Discovery, as the inventor of the top secret and experimental “spore drive”.  It is an organic propulsion system and if Stamets can refine it, Discovery will be able to be anywhere in the known universe in a blink — it is a game changer.  But it requires super-computing the likes of which doesn’t exist…unless Stamets can think outside the box.

Presiding over this is Captain Lorca; no-nonsense all the way.  He’s been given this ship, its crew of “polite scientists”, and a blank cheque.  His orders:  end the war in victory.  Lorca has his own deeply buried demons.  These come to light in “Choose Your Pain”, in which he is captured by the Klingons.

Chris Obi as T’Kuvma

Ah yes, the Klingons.  They are Star Trek’s most iconic villains…and in some cases, heroes.  They have an established culture, design and hierarchy.  Star Trek: Discovery takes its least successful leaps with the Klingons.  New ship, costume and makeup designs are really out of place.  Remember, this series takes place 10 years before Captain Kirk and “The Trouble With Tribbles”.  Klingons looked like humans in that era.  It’s a complicated mess of contradictions, but Discovery should not have made it worse by adding in yet another new Klingon design.

The Klingons are problematic in more ways than one.  The momentum of the show screeches to a halt any time we cut to Klingon drama.  Until recently on the show, they spoke Klingon with English subtitles almost all the time.  This changed in the last episode.  Never before on Star Trek have we had to endure this much Klingon language.  On original Trek, Next Generation, and Deep Space Nine, they had esteemed stage actors saying these lines mostly in English, and it was all very Shakespearean and perfect.  Christopher Plummer played a Klingon, fer frak’s sakes.  The first bald Klingon, I might add, and now on Discovery, they all seem to be bald.  And also bland.  The Klingons, with the exception of one, have not been remotely interesting.  The exception is L’Rell (Mary Cheiffo), a master of deception and spies.

Mary Chieffo as L’Rell

It is L’Rell who tortures Captain Lorca in “Choose Your Pain”, an important episode that also introduces Lt. Ash Tyler (Shazad Latif) and Harry Mudd (Rainn Wilson).   Mudd is a fan favourite character, going back to season one of the original series.  As a con man played by Roger C. Carmel in 1966, he is remembered as both comedy relief and a threat.  When we meet him on Discovery, he’s a prisoner of the Klingons.  Wilson was a casting boon.  His Mudd is more dangerous and deadly than Carmel’s, but no less enjoyable.  Count on seeing more of Harcourt Fenton Mudd, particularly in the series’ best episode “Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad”.

That episode, “Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad” can also be used to highlight a show weakness.  That is recycling previous used Star Trek story devices.  “Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad” features a time loop that is very similar to one in The Next Generation’s “Cause and Effect”.  There are others as well.  A planet that changes the personality of an alien character: “Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum” is like “The Other Side of Paradise”.  You can keep going.

However there have also been sparks of originality.   Lt. Stamets’ spore drive opens up some new concepts previously unexplored in Trek, inspired by more recent discoveries in the quantum field.  A few episodes challenge ethics in the face of emergencies.  The format of a serialised story is unusual in Star Trek.  Long story arcs were previously used in Enterprise and Deep Space Nine, but not to this degree.  This is what audiences today are familiar with.  Sonequa Martin-Green is now an expert thanks to her time on The Walking Dead.

Star Trek: Discovery will return in January for Season 1, Chapter Two.  It has also been renewed for a further season beyond this.  This mid-season break will give them a chance to address some problems.  Pacing is an issue when we cut to Klingon scenes.  The language issue might have been rectified recently with the introduction of a universal translator.  It would also be nice to settle some continuity problems, especially visually.  Will we see traditional Starfleet uniforms, for example?  We know they are being used around this period, due to their appearance in 1965’s pilot episode “The Cage”, which actually takes place two years prior to Discovery in the timeline.  (This also raises the possibility of a future meeting between Captains Lorca and Pike, and a reunion of Spock and Burnham.)

Jeffrey Hunter and Leonard Nimoy as Captain Pike and Mr. Spock, in original uniforms (1965)

Star Trek series typically have a bumpy first season as kinks get worked out.  If we assume this pattern will continue, then Discovery should turn out to be an exciting show for Trek fans.  Certainly the space battle action scenes have been highlights.  Let’s see more of that.

Shazad Latif as Lt. Tyler

Let’s also see more of characters like Dr. Culber, Paul Stammets, Captain Lorca, and Ash Tyler.  Tyler, by the way, is one of the most controversial characters.  There are fan theories (too many spoilers to discuss!) that suggest Tyler may not be who he thinks he is.  Season 1, Chapter Two promises that his backstory will be further revealed, including his torture at the hands of Klingon L’Rell.

Even if certain continuity problems are never addressed, Discovery has made it an exciting time to be a Star Trek fan again.  Old Star Trek always had its problems with continuity, far too many to list.  If we can accept those, then let’s remain open minded.

Yes indeed, it is a great time to be a Trek fan.  In 1987, I remember fans thought The Next Generation was stiff, and we complained that it copied original Trek a bit too closely at times.  Everyone thought Jonathan Frakes looked like he was supposed to be Shatner.  Their pajama-like uniforms and Wil Wheaton made us all cringe, remember?  You hated Wesley too — don’t lie just because he’s on Big Bang Theory.

Sara Mitich as Airiam

Today, The Next Generation is revered by some as the best series of them all — or certainly the one with the best captain, right Patrick Stewart fans?  Things change, and we know we have two seasons for them to get things running right.  I’d like to see more of the background cyborg character, Lt. Commander Airiam (Sara Mitich).  We already know there are episodes coming directed by Jonathan Frakes (Star Trek: First Contact and Star Trek: Insurrection).  And we expect that Lt. Stamets’ experiments with the spore drive has opened some kind of portal to the Star Trek “mirror universe”…where good is evil and evil is good.  Can you picture a bearded Stamets?  Lorca, perhaps.  Or would the mirror Lorca be the good one?

See?  It’s a great time to be a Trek fan.

This could just be the excitement talking, but I think Discovery is getting better and the best is still coming.

3.5/5 stars

Star Trek: Discovery episodes from Memory Alpha, the Star Trek Wiki

(more…)

#607: Every Picture Tells a Story

GETTING MORE TALE #607: Every Picture Tells a Story

 

If you’re like me, you probably look at childhood photos and are immediately flooded with a million memories. Music, pictures and memories…they all go together don’t they? One triggers another and all three merge together in your grey matter. With that in mind, put on something nostalgic and join me with some short stories about some old pictures. If you can’t think of something to listen to, here’s Bryan Adams doing “Summer of ’69”!


I can tell by my hair that this picture is winter of 1989-1990. On the far left, you’ll notice my Darth Vader lamp, hand made by my mom a long time ago (though not very far away). Darth is priceless to me, and I still have him on that very same dresser today. Next to Darth, I notice that I didn’t think to remove the Speed Stick before taking a photo.

That was my first guitar. I just had to have a whammy bar. That thing would simply not stay in tune. In the 80s, you had to have a whammy bar, although Slash was slowly causing them to go out of fashion. My mom found a guitar teacher, a really nice guy named Gary Mertz. He was teaching my sister, myself and my best friend Bob all in one shot. He came to the house, and did 30 minute lesson with my sister on keyboards first. Then 30 minutes with me and 30 with Bob on guitar. I just wasn’t any good at it. I just don’t have the coordination. How my sister got to be such a great musician, I really couldn’t tell you. I got the shitty genes.

A year and a half later, and look at that hair. Sleek?

Second guitar. A flying V I bought off a guy from work.  He was a huge Eddie Van Halen fan, and he customised the V with different pickups to try to emulate Eddie’s brown sound.  I still had to have a whammy bar.  Constantly diving for it made it sound like I was playing something other than random notes.  I was pretty useless on guitar.

A little older now, this is about 1993 and that’s my first beard! Zeppelin and the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701 D) on the same walls as before.  The Enterprise and the Kiss sketch I’m holding were both birthday gifts from my buddy Peter. I still have that Kiss sketch on my wall right behind where I work at LeBrain HQ.

Check out this model kit I build. That’s a Klingon Bird of Prey, a Romulan Warbird and a Ferengi ship. I bought it for the Warbird, truly a beautiful ship design. If you look close enough, you can see where I painted in little yellow windows on the forward section, just like the show. I did the same on the Ferengi craft, which actually turned out the best of the three.

And finally, I don’t know what compelled me to take pictures of all my stuff. Here it is, and all laid out specifically just so. Why? Couldn’t tell you. But there’s some cool stuff there!

With the exception of the cassette tapes, I still own most of this stuff.  Some CDs have been replaced by expanded editions.  The vinyl didn’t go anywhere though, and I definitely hung on to those Star Trek figures.

My collections for each of these bands has expanded so much that I couldn’t fit them all into a single photo anymore.  It’s funny to look back and think, “Wow, that’s all I had!?”

#518: Read-Along Adventures

Welcome to another week-long series at mikeladano.com! We’re doing another week of Getting More Getting More Tale: five brand new instalments from the Getting More Tale series. Hope you enjoy these blasts from the past.

GETTING MORE TALE #518: Read-Along Adventures

When I was a child in the late 1970’s, the average household did not have a VCR.  There was no such thing as video rentals.  Most homes had a record player, but as the 70’s turned into the 80’s, the VHS and Betamax formats battled it out for home domination.  In the Ladano home, we rented a VCR and movies until 1984, when my dad finally bought our first VHS recorder.  It was hi-tech and lasted many years.  All but impossible to program recordings on, but you could do it.  In the meantime, there was a family stereo system, and I also had a heavy duty kid’s mono turntable put out by Fisher-Price.  It was built like a tank and folded up into a case.

Until the VCR became a household staple, kids only had two ways of enjoying a favourite movie:  Going to see it in the theatre, or wait until it was on TV.  Certain movies would return to theatres periodically, such as old Disney classics.  Other movies, such as The Wizard of Oz, were a big family event when they were on TV.  Popcorn and treats!  Yes, the movie would be chopped up with commercials and often edited down*, but we didn’t know any different.  To this day, with certain movies, I can remember where the commercial breaks used to go.**

Yet there was a way to let youngsters enjoy their favourites at home, after a fashion.  Story records had always been around, but when Buena Vista released 7″ story records with a book that kids could follow, they tapped into a void and struck gold.  Star Wars became an obvious winner.   We had the story of Star Wars on a 7″, and we would read along and enjoy the vibrant pictures from the film.  Another I enjoyed was Disney’s The Black Hole.  A narrator would read along with you, and when you heard R2-D2 beep, it was time to turn the page!  These records played at 33 1/3 rpm, to facilitate a longer running time.  There were music cues and sound effects to go with the story, and I’m sure our parents would tell you these records kept us occupied!  Sometimes, original actors even did the voices.  I distinctly remember having the story of E.T., narrated by Drew Barrymore who was also on the cover.  As time went on, these releases began to come out on cassette.  Fisher-Price was there with another heavy duty product, a tape recorder that I used for years to play and record just about everything.  By the time the story of Return of the Jedi came out in 1983, I was on to cassettes.  Thankfully they continued to make story records for kids in my now-older age bracket.

The 80’s wore on and cassettes replaced records all but completely.  Between Star Wars and Jedi, we had graduated to things a little more challenging, such as the full-length movie soundtracks by John Williams.  Without the cheesy narration, we were free to create our own adventures to the classic music.  The old story records got tucked away…but they can still be found.  Last Christmas, my buddy Rob Daniels from Visions in Sound received some old classic Star Trek read-along records.  I have some too, also Christmas gifts, from my sister.  She found four sealed Star Trek story records on 7″ vinyl and had to get them for me.  They include the stories for The Motion Picture, The Wrath of Khan, and two original stories on a different label called Peter Pan records.

I’ve never opened these records, but I know inside I would find some glorious full colour pictures of space-scapes from the big screen, along with a pristine 7″ record.  It’s tempting but they’ve been sealed this long, it would a shame to open them now.

 

*Not Superman: The Movie!  It had some really cool deleted scenes added to the TV version, to stretch it over two nights!

**I can also hear, clearly in my head, the terrible TV dubbing done for Jackie Gleason’s character in Smokey and the Bandit.  It was not Gleason, and it was obvious every time.  Unintentionally funny!

R.I.P. Leonard Nimoy

This is, by far, the most painful loss that Star Trek fans have had to endure yet.  Even more so than the great Gene Roddenberry, Leonard Nimoy embodied Star Trek.  He was Spock — he became that character.  After Star Trek, he struggled against it.  His first autobiography was entitled I Am Not Spock.  A couple decades later, he recanted and released a new book called I Am Spock.  It took him a while to come to peace with the fact that he will always be remembered as Mr. Spock, but he did and the fans loved him for it.

I’ll miss you, my Vulcan friend.


 


 

DVD REVIEW: Free Enterprise (1999)


 

FREE ENTERPRISE_0001FREE ENTERPRISE (1999, 2006 “Five Year Mission Extended Edition”, Anchor Bay)

Directed by Robert Meyer Burnett.

I’ll admit I never saw the original cut of this 1999 cult indy classic. I’d heard of it back then, but never saw it. All I’ve seen is this recut version, and I am pleased to bits over it. Not knowing what to expect, I popped the movie into the DVD player. This movie was a good 15 years ahead of its time. Now you can see this every week on The Big Bang Theory. I’d almost go as far as to call Big Bang a ripoff. Almost. Big Bang never got Shatner on their show.

I was immediately inundated with sci-fi and pop culture references to make Kevin Smith wet his bed. Anyone born in the 1970’s will understand. Yet, this is not as cheesily done as the disappointing Fanboys.  Something about this strikes the nerve of authenticity.  From re-enactments of Logan’s Run (“Run, runner!”) to geekouts over Wrath Of Khan laserdiscs, and incorporating Terminator quotes into everyday life, if you’re a sci-fi geek, you will never find a more wretched hive…sorry, got carried away there. Throw in Swingers influences for the late 20’s crowd in the late 90’s and you have a pretty entertaining film.  Although in the wake of Big Bang Theory, I fear viewers today will simply feel they’ve seen this before.

FREE ENTERPRISE_0004Eric McCormack is a struggling writer (his latest screenplay, Brady Killer — a horror movie set in the Brady house — is pretty much junk).  Rafer Weigel (who?) is a film editor for a tiny studio, making movies like Beach Babe Bingo Fiesta. Their lives consist of trying to score, geeking out over Star Trek (“only original, only classic!”), and in Rafer’s case, paying the bills without hawking his Trek goods. Their lives take a turn for the interesting when they are browsing books and run into…William Shatner (browsing porn), as played by William Shatner.

This is, in my own humble geek opinion, Shatner’s best movie. At times he plays himself understatedly dark, other times with panache, and outrageously at others. Most of all, Shatner’s Shatner is whacko. A lonely whacko, and lovable, but also out-of-his-tree whacko, as if every story you ever heard about his ego was true. He is working on his own film project, a little epic. William Shatner and William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. A musical version. Six hours long. Three intermissions. With Shatner playing all the parts. Except Calpurnia. He was thinking about getting Sharon Stone for that part.

Shatner, as great as he is, is only the background for this lovingly made film. He appears in childhood dream sequences, and he pops up unexpectedly when the characters need to confess their problems to what essentially amounts to a friendly, lonely stranger. Our main characters are going through their own late-20’s problems, mostly with women. The performances are merely adequate, certainly not Oscar-worthy, but damned if McCormack doesn’t do the best Shatner monologue that I’ve ever seen.  It’s a very, very good Shat.

This is not a complex story, but it is a warm one about friends and Trek, and is infinitely re-watchable. I pull it off the shelves every year or so to enjoy and geek out. I can’t say the same thing about Fanboys.  Its only flaw is its ending, which is a shame since the ending is kind of the important part.  Considering that the ending is a musical performance by William Shatner though, there’s some camp value to it.  It’s just…not very good.

FREE ENTERPRISE_0005The DVD bonus features are pure awesomeness at warp 9. My favourite was a pilot for a series called Cafe Fantastique that was never picked up, but damn, it should have been. The makers of Free Enterprise came up with a series where they just discuss science fiction news and films over drinks in a bar with special guests. Chase Masterson (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) appears in this pilot. It’s kind of like that show that Jon Favreau had where he just hangs out at dinner with his friends. Shoulda woulda coulda been a series. I would have watched it, and so would you.  Lastly there is a large booklet with lots of pictures and essays, and a glossary of geek speak.  For example “Soylent Green is people!”

Pickup Free Enterprise if you:
a) are a Shatner fan
b) love Kevin Smith style films
c) think Han shot first.

3.5/5 stars. An indispensable part of my Trek library.

 

PREVIEW: The Next LeBrain

Dear readers,

As you are aware, the original Record Store Tales are almost done.   There are only a few sub-chapters left in Part 320: End of the Line.  I believe that, taken as a body of work and not cherry-picking bits and pieces, that it is a story of human frailty but also human strength and survival.  There are laughs, and there are tunes.  Lots and lots of good tunes.

Even though the entire story is almost told, I will continue telling tales of life’s absurdities.  These Post-Record Store Tales (if you will) are already being written and are ready to be rolled out!  The title, as suggested by you, will be revealed soon.

I just needed a new mascot.  I felt that the old GI Joe LeBrain had run his course.  Finding a new mascot, a new LeBrain, was a bit of a quest but I’ve finally settled on one.  May I present to you:

THE NEXT LEBRAIN!

IMG_20140913_105632

Yes, it’s Simon Pegg.

Part 270: Star Trek vs. Star Wars

Dedicated to David “Homer”

KIRK VADER

RECORD STORE TALES Part 270:  Star Trek vs. Star Wars

I took my fair share of ribbing for being a Star Trek fan at the record store.  I’ve been a Star Trek fan since I was a little kid – I had a kid’s size Scotty uniform shirt.  The first episode I can remember seeing was Operation: Annihilate!  It terrified and excited me at the same time, and I couldn’t believe the heroism of Mr. Spock.  He was my favourite character by far.  Kirk was always getting distracted by girls.

ART OFI witnessed some amazing moments in Trek-history during my time at the store (1994-2006).  Generations came out a few months after I started, and I remember watching a City TV Generations special on the little screen in our store one night.  It was a quiet evening in the mall and there was nothing to do but clean.  The TV was usually on Much, so I switched it to the Trek special.    That was a fun night for me.

Shortly after that, Voyager debuted and I raced home from work to catch the pilot episode which I was recording.  I missed the first 20 minutes and in the pre-PVR days you couldn’t just rewind and watch a show that you were recording “live”.  Yes, it was an exciting time to be a Trekkie.  My co-workers teased me about it, but Christmas ’95 my boss bought me a thoughtful Art of Star Trek book that I still have.  That was pretty cool of him.  He knew nothing about Trek but he picked a cool book with a Generations special in the back.  He was relieved that I liked it.

As a Trekkie (I dislike the term “Trekker”), I’ll be the first to admit that it’s a pretty hit-and-miss affair, being a fan.  For every great movie like First Contact, there was a shite movie like Nemesis.  By the late 90’s, being a Trek fan was a lot less exciting.  Especially when George Lucas started cranking up the Star Wars machine again with the Special Editions, in theaters.

The last time that I was really excited about Star Trek (before the recent reboot) was Star Trek: Insurrection. On December  11, 1998 I was working the night shift with a new guy, a class act named Dave “Homer”.   It was a Friday night, and the new guy said that he and his roommate were going to catch the new Trek movie on opening night.  Was I interested in joining them?  Of course I was.

INSURRECTIONIn addition to Dec 11 being opening night for Star Trek: Insurrection (joke name – Star Trek: Big Erection), it was also opening night for the brand new movie theater in town.  Then known as Silver City, it’s now called Gateway Cineplex 10.  Added bonus:  Silver City was a mere hop-skip-and-jump away from the record store.  If we cashed out quickly, we would have absolutely no problem catching the late show and still have time to get drinks, corn and a bar.

Homer was somewhat new in town and  didn’t know the way.  I did, so I led the car convoy.  We were pleased to see that it wasn’t too busy at all.  His buddy Ollie (who briefly worked for us later on) joined us, and we got our seats.  Silver City was the latest, most modern theater.  The stadium seating was awesome, we never had anything like this in town before.  I couldn’t imagine a better setting for a new Star Trek movie!

Oh, it got better.

I always enjoy the previews.  First up was a cool looking movie called Rushmore.  Not having a clue what we were seeing, it looked interesting and Homer and I made mental notes.  (Long story short – I love Rushmore.)

Second trailer though…

STAR WARS.

Yes, the Star Wars Episode I trailer had fans buzzing.  You have to remember that nobody had a clue yet what a useless piece of shit Young Anakin would be.  (I feel bad for the actor Jake Lloyd, nobody could have played that fucking character.) We didn’t expect Jar Jar to be even worse than the worst Ewok, with so much screen time.  None of these flaws could be discerned from that first trailer, which was a collage of pure bad-assery and cool imagery.  What were those beasts emerging from the fog?  What planet is this?  Holy shit Tattooine.  What’s that silver ship? Why did C3P0 have no coverings?  And who the fuck is that evil looking dude with the double lightsaber?!

I’d seen a choppy, small version of the trailer online.  To see it on the big screen, in surround sound, in front of a new Star Trek movie?  My mind was blown before the opening credits!

It was hard for a whole Star Trek movie to top that one trailer for Star Wars.  I think for us it was pretty equal – we left enthused about both.  Insurrection was good, but we all felt that it was much like an “extended episode”.  It wasn’t bad, it was certainly better than 1994’s Generations, but it lacked the weight of 1996’s First Contact.  As Trekkies, we were satisfied and excited to see where the franchise would go next.  As a money paying audience, we knew the movie was simply not up to the high bar set by First Contact.  As long as it didn’t get worse from there…

It got worse from there.  We had no idea that Paramount would flush it all down the shitter with Star Trek: Nemesis (2001).  Just as we had no idea that George Lucas had a massive clusterfuck of sewer sauce in the pipeline for Star Wars Episode I.  Instead, we choose to focus on the rush of that evening, the excitement of the experience.  In fact it is best summed up by Mr. Spock himself:

“After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing,
after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.”

– Mr. Spock, Star Trek, Amok Time

Every Star Wars DVD or Blur-ray that I own.

Every Star Wars DVD or Blu-ray that I own.

Top Five(s) of 2013 – Part 2: Movies, TV and the rest

If you missed the Top Five Albums of 2013 lists, click here!

Some people got carried away and submitted more than 5 in their lists this year, Uncle Meat being the number one offender. But since Tom & Uncle Meat were good this Christmas, here are the Top Five (or Six) (or Ten) Movies of 2013.  And while we’re talking about movies we may as well do a Top TV Shows of 2013 as well huh?

Tom

SMAUG

Movies

6. Sound City
5. Star Trek: Into Darkness
4. This Is The End
3. John Dies At The End
2. The World’s End
1. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

TV Shows 

SCHANGhhhhhhhh10. Rick and Morty
9. PTI
8. Colbert Report
7. Daily Show
6. Eagleheart
5. Venture Brothers
4. The Jeselnik Offensive
3. Aqua Teen Hunger Force
2. Community
1. Game of Thrones

Meat

Movies

SOUND CITY
10. Carrie
9. Kick Ass 2
8. Pacific Rim
7. This is the End
6. Man of Steel
5. Star Trek: Into Darkness
4. 42
3. Sound City
2. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
1. The Wolf of Wall Street

TV Shows

Meat came up with a Top Nine.  Sure, why not!

HEISENBERG9. Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
8. The Following
7. The Killing
6. Walking Dead
5. Californication
4./3. Tie: Mad Men/Breaking Bad
2. American Horror Story: Coven
1. Game of Thrones

Seb

Movies

man-of-steel-25. Iron Man 3
4. Pacific Rim
3. Star Trek: Into Darkness
2. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
1. Man of Steel

Seb also had some Top Concerts he wanted to mention:  “Brian Setzer and Meshuggah….. Yeah, I know its weird….he he he!”

Mrs. LeBrain

SHELDONTV Shows

5. Jeopardy!
4. Dragon’s Den
3. Blue Bloods
2. The Big Bang Theory
1. Hockey Night In Canada

LeBrain

For a variety of reasons I don’t get out to the movies often, so I decided to just post Five Movies I Saw in 2013!

MoviesGARY KING

5. Man of Steel
4. This is the End
3. Sound City
2. Star Trek: Into Darkness
1. The World’s End

TV Shows

When Mrs. LeBrain wasn’t watching hockey, I watched these shows in 2013:

5. Star Trek re-runs (best I could come up with)
4. The Liquidator
3. Toy Hunter
2. Survivorman
1. Breaking Bad

LES